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…..
Her bottom hurt when it landed on the hard rocks of Nevermore. Raven brushed off her leotard without a complaint.
'Note to self: Remember to bring pillows.'
She looked down the floating stone path to see her Emotions randomly jumping, sitting, and singing. Utter confusion and thrill… that's what the atmosphere felt like... but it didn't to seem to disturb her Emotions like it did her. She barged in on them and demanded, "What was that? Why are you doing this to me? What have I ever done to you?"
Anger sneered from the corner, "Besides shun us?"
"Go screw-"
Intelligence cleared her throat and inquired gently, touching the rim of her glasses, "Whatever do you mean, my dear Raven?"
"You know what I mean, smart ass."
Happiness giggled at the sweat and Intelligence gave her an acknowledging smirk. "I'm sure I would know if you wouldn't be so vague."
"Why are you all making me think about Robin more than I'm suppose to? I don't like him."
Courage frowned, placing her hands on her hips. "Why not? Don't be a chicken, he's a great guy."
Raven turned her, growling. "Not only does he belong to someone else AND we're teammates, it's wrong."
"Since when did he become a thing that someone could own?"
Raven clenched her teeth. "That's not what I meant and you know it. He's with Starfire, he loves her, and I'm not allowed to love... anyone."
"You love the Titans, don't you?"
"We're getting off this subject." Intelligence merely eyed her as Raven waved her hand.
The pink-cloaked Happiness pleaded sweetly, "But Raven, Robin is so nice!"
"When he doesn't act like a jerk and know-it-all."
"That happens to all teenage boys," Intelligence said, carefully, "Actually, I think it's a smart match. He's quite wise and you may not see it now, but you two compliment each other nicely. Yes, he feels something for Starfire, but it could be a temporary."
"Thanks for the lecture," Raven said with a biting tone.
"I am trying to explain something to you if you will listen. Starfire could not understand with the darkness that lurks beneath his surface. She needs someone who is similar to her, bright from the inside out. Robin isn't. He holds corrupt emotions without meaning to. When he is older, he would need some person to help him channel them."
Raven said nothing to this and her Emotions were animated from Intelligence making a speech and began to speak out.
"He's fearless and a great athlete."
"He can burp louder than Cy or Beast Boy…"
"He helps me when I'm sad."
"He's not so bad… I guess."
"He comforts me like an angel… he might be one…"
"He's sweet and handsome! I adore his smile!"
Raven glared to the silver-cloaked Emotion, muttering, "I'm sure you have something to add."
Lust looked away moodily from her and Intelligence shook her head. "I'm starting to get a little worried. She's been quiet lately," she replied.
"You would too if you were irritated at her," Lust said, casting an evil eye at Raven who said exasperated: "What is your problem?"
"You are. You have this wonderful boy right under your nose and easily within your reaches... and you won't open up to him. Get this: he might even like you back." Lust gathered her cloak up, sharply. "You know what, you are afraid to face the truth," she looked at Fear, "No offense."
Lust poked Raven in the ribs hard, causing her to wince. "You keep avoiding everything including the truth. You can't hide from it!" Intelligence joined alongside her.
"Raven, I think your question has been answered. You are doing this to yourself." She and Lust advanced on her. Raven felt a cold change in Nevermore. "Do you want to know why?"
"No. . ." Raven backed away from her approaching Emotions who rose to their feet.
"You think about Robin-"
"Stop!" They towered menacingly over her. She started to run, but a hand yanked her. Raven fell into many arms and grasping fingers, all holding her down.
"And you hurt-"
"I won't listen to you! Let me go!"
"Because-"
Lust was laughing madly. Raven tore herself away and clutched her head as they clawed at her cloak, "Please! Stop it! No!"
"You love him. You love Robin. You love him," they chanted it over and over, screaming louder with every word.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Her violet eyes flew open and Raven was standing in the middle of her room, doubled over and near hysterics. She waited motionless a few minutes to listen. No one was coming to bang on her door. They must be waiting for her. She had came back from Batman's lair and sought the peace of her room to meditate… and ended up on a field trip to Nevermore.
Raven sat on her bed, running her hands over her blue, downy blankets, and whispered her three favorite words.
"Azarath…Metrion….."
…..
"Where is that girl?"
Cyborg gazed at the door leading into the main hallway of the front room. Beast Boy nodded. "She'll be here. She said she would."
"When did you start sticking up for her?"
Beast Boy's green eyes lost all understanding. "When you stopped."
They narrowed their eyes at each other and Robin prepared to referee any fights between them. Cyborg saw their leader cross his arms. He made an annoyed noise with the back of his throat when a shadow appeared near the center stairs. Her face was hidden by her cloak so that only her bright, violet eyes shone out to them.
She made her way to the empty couch. "I called you all down here for a reason, and it is one that I thought I'd never bring myself to reveal." Her eyes locked onto Cyborg. "But elements out of my control have forced me to hide it no longer." His eyebrows scrunched.
Raven seated herself on the floor in front of the television set and her friends squeezed themselves on the long couch. She didn't try to avoid their prying eyes.
"My mother was a living human named Arella and my father was a living demon named Trigon. My people looked into my future when I was born and saw things too horrible to believe. My father is hell-bent on destroying and controlling everything."
She looked at her smooth white palms, indifferently.
"My guardians told me to always keep my emotions in check, always focus, always meditate. I came here to Earth when I was little and I never saw my mother again. I hardly even remember her."
Cyborg was the only one brave enough to speak, "What's your point?"
Her tone switched to dark and passionate, "I was born to destroy the world and everything in it. To become the portal to my demon father…" She let out a unsteady sigh and her head lolled back, eyelids fluttering close. She could hear her friends getting up and her monotone voice stopped them, "They said the sun would set on this world never to rise again, the skies would turn blood red, chaos would ensue, flesh would turn to stone, and everyone that you loved would die. They would die and you would kill them."
Her head snapped back and her eyes stared at the red tattoos glowing on her palms.
"Now my father wants me to willingly give up everything and help him." She balled up her hands. "I don't want to. I don't want to kill everyone I love."
"Yes, my darkest secret is revealed. I love every one of you. I love Beast Boy's antics and his endless attempts to keep us happy even when he loses hope. I love Cyborg's strength to keep us together and his stupid obsession with waffles. I love Starfire's undying friendship and I wish sometimes… that I could be more like her and I love Robin…."
Raven struggled against her pounding heart, not ready to look at the reactions on their faces. "I love his bravery and the way he cares for us… I don't want you all to hate me. That's why I don't say anything. That's why I never bothered to get to know you. That's why I can't get close -"
She paused when she was lifted up to level with green eyes. They were filled with tears. Starfire cried.
"I do not care what you are to do! You are my friend and I would not wish any harm upon you!"
Raven felt herself being crushed against her and appreciated it. She deliberately wound her arms around Starfire and felt damp tears on her neck where the other girl pressed her face. Cyborg and Robin joined in the hug and Beast Boy morphed into a kitten, licking Raven's dry cheek soothingly. Her eyes met Robin's said softly, "We will always be your friends no matter what happens. You may not know it, but we care about you more than you'll ever know. And we'll find a way to help you fight Trigon."
His green, spandex glove tickled the side of her face and she almost leaned into it before they all let her go. Cyborg messed her purple hair. "Yeah we will. He's going down." Starfire sniffled in the background. Raven levitated a handkerchief to her, avoiding her eyes.
Starfire hugged her again and the empath added, escaping her clutches, "Slade knows. He's working for Trigon."
"What did he say?" Robin frowned.
"That's the other thing. When I ran out of the party into Gotham, he scared a robber away from me and I tried to fight Slade. There was only one thing that stopped him in his tracks."
Beast Boy shook his head. "I don't think I want to know," he whispered.
She slid her hood back in place and whispered, "Slade never shot me. He can't hurt me unless he wants Trigon to serve his head on a gold platter."
Starfire seemed confused.
"If the Slade did not… the robber did….?"
Raven stared blankly until the Tameranean let out a dramatic gasp and held onto Robin nearby. He silently laced his fingers through hers.
Purple eyes stared at their hands and her dull voice spoke up, "I was willing to die so that everything would be okay. But I can't stop it, and I know doing so would be the worst mistake I could make. Slade needs me alive to get my Father out; knowing that could help us somehow, right?"
Cyborg nodded. "Sure, Rae…"
It felt as if the entire universe had been lifted from her shoulders and the headache forever lingering had disappeared. Drained, Raven felt herself lose the feeling of the floor beneath her feet. The only thing that was keeping her up was Robin's strong arm gripping hers. She was being led away, voices blurred around her and then they were gone when her bedroom door shut behind her. She had no idea how long she had been standing where she was but eventually her clock chimed midnight.
Raven unfastened her cloak, feeling very exposed without it, and made her way to her bed. In half stride, a laugh pierced her hearing. She turned her head to the sound and reached into her dresser, picking up the flashlight Robin had given her. Her room was normally pitched black at night and she had no trouble with it but recently... she decided it needed to be redecorated. Light fell over the dark corners and the cackle sounded again with more energy. Shining her light on her bureau mirror, she let out an alarmed scream.
Faces, faces like hers twisted with mirth and laughing. Her Emotions gawked and taunted her. She could hear them in her head.
Raven screamed again but this time, it was full of rage. She took up the mirror and smashed it against the wall. The shards glowed a blue color before the energy emerged from them and slipped into her throat. Raven grabbed at her neck and made distressed choking noises, her limbs twitching.
"Raven!"
The Titans got inside in time to see her flashlight lying forgotten on the ground and her body on the floor. Her shoulders snapped back against the carpet.
She shrieked as her head bent sideways, "GET OUT OF HERE!"
Starfire stepped forward, reaching out a hand.
"Friend Raven… what is the matter…?"
"OU-!" Raven's breathing became shallow and her violet eyes looked up as Raven smiled widely. Everyone faltered, very unnerved to see her normally emotionless face so happy.
"...Star!" She leaped up from the floor to grab the alien tightly around the waist and squeezed once. "My best friend in the whole world! You look gorgeous! Ahhahaha-" Happy Raven elbowed her out of the way, "Beast Boy! You sexy thing!" She gave him a peck on the cheek as their friends sweat-dropped, surprised.
Cyborg raised his eyebrows. "Um, Raven, what's going on?"
Suddenly, her eyes became moist.
"Azar..." She sobbed, stumbling away, "...Please, I'm sorry, just leave so I can die alone." Sad Raven fell to her knees and wept with such grief that Starfire trembled and Robin felt the strong urge to touch the empath's shoulder, "Raven…? ...it's ok."
Sad to Courage. "Boy, you better get your hand off me or I will whoop your ass."
Courage to Smarts. "Starfire, my sweet child, orange and purple just don't mix well."
Smarts to Fear. "Stop looking at me! Ahhh!"
Fear to Vulgarity. "Cool, Beast Boy, there's a booger hanging out of your nose!"
Vulgarity to…
Abruptly, Raven's eyes glowed brighter than ever before with their color.
They flickered to Beast Boy who hid under her bed, Cyborg standing in front of a freaked-out Star, and Robin just deeply confused. Lust Raven slinked over to him and ran a finger coyly over his broad shoulder. "Nice cape, mind if I get under it?" Under his mask, his eyes widened impossibly big.
She made a violent movement with her neck, and crouched down with her head between her knees, muttering with a monotone, "...Get the mirror in the drawer...someone, please..."
"Raven…?"
"Do it! Now!"
Robin sprang for the handheld mirror. Her head jerked up, a twin set of red eyes burning on her face. A snake of black energy cuffed Robin across the head but he recovered from the blow, throwing the mirror at her. Raven caught it and held it in her hands securely, chanting nonstop. They all watched. They all waited.
She gasped as blue power came out of her mouth, and into the mirror.
A moment of silence passed.
"...Get out."
They obeyed without being told twice but Robin urged, "Are you okay?"
"I lost control of my emotions and they got out. I'm fine now."
Sweat made her hair stick together, her breasts heaving. She wrapped her arms around herself as if to hide a shamefully naked body.
"Please… just go."
Once he left, she collapsed cold onto her carpet.
…..
Robin remembered.
He remembered a lot of things, big and insignificant, but there were moments in his life he could never forget. Tonight would be another mark to that list. He wandered into his room, sitting in his chair, not bothering to turn on anything but the lights. Robin tipped the chair back and sank deep into his thoughts.
Raven was acting so weird lately. It all became clear why now, but she was still this mysterious person that he couldn't figure out.
It became clear to him a long time ago that he wanted to know everything about her, but Raven was always too far out of reach. When he first met her, she wasn't friendly by any means, but a strong fighter and even stronger willed. Now she was baring herself, under these conditions... he didn't know what would change.
He wanted so bad to help her and he didn't know where to begin. He wished Raven would open up to him for once. Robin put a hand under his chin. He had gotten shivers when she had touched him.
Had she…came onto him?
What emotions was she hiding from him?
And why did he like it?
Another memory that would stick with him was the day Slade turned up… on Raven's birthday.
One moment he was running from death, the next he woke to find Raven smiling down on him, rubbing his chest gently. Even though she was smiling, her eyes read terror.
When he near unconsciousness after battling Slade and heard her calling his name, it was the only time he heard her say it with such helplessness, such desperation. She had carried him to the church down the road and held him with concern. Raven had tried to protect him. Then she was attacked.
He didn't know all the details but he had caught her from a death-fall of thirty feet, her uniform torn. He definitely had wanted to do more than hurt Slade. Her hair had been down to her back, and she had blacked out in his arms. Raven had awake within a minute after he caught her and barely said a word to him. But she had been thankful for him. That was certain.
Robin slammed a fist into his palm, inattentively.
She happened to be an important memory indeed.
A/N: Short side note... the mirror for Nevermore is her big mirror, not the little one. I changed it. Heh. It's my story, I'll do whatever I want. lol. I know, we all know how Raven tells them about the prophecy but I made my own version of it before the episode. I hope everyone finds it alright. I went into major editing mode for this ficcy. I'll probably still be in nitpicky mode and make major criticism for myself. Now if you'll ignore that current rambling, I'd like to thank my AMAZING reviewers(c'mon, you know you are): HermioneGranger22491, watergoddess08, ray1, anonymous, , ChErRyBlOsSoMs-FlOwErOfDeAtH, evilsangle, sealed flame, r, animefreak03, Chica De Los Ojos Café, JRK, samie-the-authoress, and Sango456 ! I'm thinking that ChapterTen might be up this week, hopefully. Enjoy!
For the birthday wishes, thank you anonymous and Sango456. That was so sweet of you!
Watergoddess08: Weird is good, right? I hope so. ;)
Anonymous: I wasn't thinking about 'deaf and dumb' when I wrote that. I just tried to think of a good insult. Heh. Ok, I'll have to remember your comment about where you can't follow it. Thank you, I need to know when you can't follow something. Bat's a little ooc, yeah.
r: Girl. Although, I have a rougher voice sometimes. -snickers-
Animefreak03: I have seen it, bad quality on the internet for Parts 2 and 3. I love it! I was squealing every time Robin and Raven were in a scene together. I'm not gonna ruin it for everyone else but god, I love it.
JRK: Yeah, I made Batman an asshole, I felt like making him mean. lol. Sorry if it threw you off. But you did like it? That makes me relieved.
Samie: One day they will but you'll be screaming at me to make them stop beating around the bush.