"You are officially a dumb ass! No, you have to be the biggest fucking idiot, like…ever!"
"Taylor, you can throw out all the compliments you want but you're gonna have to come better than that if you want me to sleep with you again", Chris shrugged.
"First of all…in your dreams, dude. Consider yourself lucky the first time. And second of all, don't change the subject. You are a dumb ass!"
"What?"
"I told you we had to take the C train to get down to 168th street. Everybody knows that's the train that stops on Broadway. Straight shot from Chelsea to the hospital. But no! Chris Keller insists that we take every train except the C and what happens? We end up in the Bronx! You know I hate the Bronx, I never go to the Bronx and now you have me in the Bronx, Chris."
"Relax. Don't get your thongs in a bunch!"
"Relax? How can I relax when my sister is in labor as we speak and she needs us? Are we in the delivery room helping her breathe right now? No, we're going on a scenic tour of New York. The kid is gonna be walking, talking and going to Harvard by the time we get there. And for your information, I quit wearing panties, years ago…you should know that by now, Keller."
Chris smirked as he began strumming his guitar. He idly played and sang words that came to mind just to tease and annoy her.
Miss Taylor James,
One of the coolest dames,
I ever met.
We used to be cool,
Now she thinks I'm a fool,
She's been yelling at me ever since we took the wrong train.
Those fine, feisty James' sisters…Haley, Taylor, Vivian and Quinn,
But Taylor's just mad because she loves me and wants to fuck me…again.
Taylor slapped his head as the train stopped at their final and correct destination.
"Don't make me kill you. Now put that stupid thing up and lets get inside and find my little sister, please."
Chris strapped the guitar to his back as they made their way around the hospital. They found the nursing station on the maternity floor.
"Anybody seen Haley James?"
"You must be Taylor", a nurse smiled. "Hi. I'm Cathy. I'd recognize that voice anywhere…we spoke on the phone earlier. And you must be Chris."
"That I am, sexy. Apparently we didn't speak on the phone or I would have remembered such an angelic voice."
Taylor feigned throwing up.
"No, we didn't speak on the phone but I do have your CD. I've sang along to it a thousand times, mostly in the shower so that's makes us more intimate than a phone conversation."
"Gee, I hate to interrupt your little ER love connection here but where is my sister?" Taylor scoffed.
"Right this way", Cathy pointed with a smirk. "I'll show you guys to her room."
"Somebody's jealous", Chris whispered, teasing Taylor in her ear.
"Doubt it."
"You want me so bad, it's killing you."
"Negative", she rolled her eyes as they entered the room.
Haley's small frame was curled up lying on her side facing away from the door.
"Hey you", Taylor smiled as she rushed to her sister's side. "What's up? We came as soon as we heard. We would have been here sooner but Casanova over there, aka dumb ass has no sense of direction and actually no sense at all but whatever."
She pulled up a seat to the bedside and gasped. Chris took the words right out of her mouth.
"Dude, where's your bump?"
The bulge that had been her stomach for months was noticeably absent.
Haley did not answer as the question was answered for her when Cathy entered the room wheeling in the little baby.
"Chris, Taylor…meet your niece."
Taylor's heart melted.
"Oh my God! She's beautiful! Oh God! Chris look at her! She's so tiny and cute."
Even Chris had to smile.
"Damn, James. You really did good with this one."
Haley didn't speak as Taylor gingerly lifted the baby.
"You want to hold her? She looks just like your baby pictures, Hay."
"No", Haley shook her head.
"I can't get over how sweet she is. And she has that perfect little new baby smell. Oh man. And those eyes! She is going to be just as hot as I am when she grows up, aren't you cutie? Her eyes are so blue! Just like…" Taylor stopped mid sentence as Haley gave her the death stare. "…Just like…the sky, blue like the sky…yeah, that's it."
"Wait a minute", Chris said. "Her eyes aren't blue. Well, one of them is. The other is brown."
"That's weird", Taylor frowned. "Weird but kind of cool. Maybe it'll change."
"It's a birthmark", Haley finally spoke.
"What?"
"A birthmark. That's what the doctor says. It's permanent. That's why her eyes are two different colors."
"Cool. She's a total rock star already. What's her name, sis?"
"I didn't name her yet."
"Well, you have to name her. My beautiful niece cannot be the only kid down in the nursery without a name. I'm not having it! So you have to pick something really cool and you have to pick it now. Come on, Haley."
"I'll do it later", Haley mumbled.
"Hay! It's not laundry. It's your daughter's name. Come on!"
Haley rolled her eyes.
"Okay, fine. Just put Lillian, okay?"
"Lillian?"
"Yeah."
"Where'd you find that? I mean, I like it and all. A little old fashioned but what the hell, right? Lillian it is, I guess."
"What about a middle name?" Chris asked.
"Just Lillian", Haley whispered.
Taylor nodded.
"Okay. Um, are you okay? Do you need anything?"
"No."
"You want something to eat or…"
"I'm fine, Tay. Really. Actually, I was gonna take a nap…"
"Okay. Um, cool. You definitely deserve it after all this hard work. We'll get out of your hair and we'll be here when you wake up, okay?"
"Okay", Haley nodded.
"Anybody in particular you want me to call?"
"No", Haley said right away.
"Okay but I have to call Mom and Dad or else they will have a joint coronary. And somebody should call your publicist, little sis…"
"Okay, whatever", Haley looked away.
Taylor and Chris exchanged uneasy glances.
"Alrighty then. Keller and I are gonna go wait outside and take 'Just Lillian' back to the nursery for a while."
Haley didn't even acknowledge their exit.
"Damn", Chris mumbled when they were in the hallway.
"Chris, what's going on? I mean, I knew she was depressed and all but I figured it would all go away after the baby came. I thought when she saw her and heard her and held her that it would just all come together. Why is my little sister acting like we should have her in a padded room wearing a straight jacket?"
Chris sighed.
"Post partum depression."
"What do we do about it?"
"Talk to her doctor. Just be there for her. We'll figure something out, Taylor."
Taylor looked down at her niece.
"I hope so because Haley is being a real bitch right about now. I mean, look at this baby. She's a perfect little angel. It's like she doesn't love her. Chris, how can you not love your own baby?"
"Haley loves her…she just doesn't know it yet. But she will. Soon. I promise. Haley's gonna be alright."
Taylor nodded, a huge grin spreading across her face as the baby's eyes fluttered open again.
"She's beautiful! I'm an aunt again! How cool is that?"
"Very cool."
"You know what's uncool?"
"Besides Haley?"
"Yeah…the name Lillian."
"It's what your sister wants."
"Haley looked like a talking zombie in there. She has no idea what she wants and I have an idea…"
"Oh God", Chris rolled his eyes. "That's scary, Taylor. I've always said if you had a brain you would be dangerous. What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking I have a very beautiful, very cool niece who so does not look like a Lillian."
"What do you think she looks like?"
Taylor gave Chris a wink and a smirk.
"That's where we come in, stud. You're my loyal sidekick and it's up to us to save this poor child from a lifetime of teasing. Now what do you say?"
"I say we can't and we don't because it's totally not our place and your sister will kill us!"
"Ever stopped us before?"
Chris thought for a minute before returning Taylor's smirk.
"Nope", he grinned. "Now, I was thinking Star or Meadow or what about Plum? Haley loves to eat those things."
"Plum? I like that. Or Heaven or Miracle or Mysterious or…"
"I've got it!" Chris yelled. "Piano!"
"Or Wrecker. You know in honor of the first tour. Michelle and Jessica and Gavin would be touched."
Chris nodded as he put his arm around her.
"You know our brilliance never ceases to amaze me."
Taylor smiled.
"Yeah…I guess we do make a pretty terrific team."