AN: (meekly) I'm sorry! I meant to get this here sooner, I really did! It's just…life is so…intrusive! I haven't really had the time or the (dare I say it) will gasp to write in a while. Somehow, I got this chapter done. Believe me, I haven't given up on this story. I'm constantly thinking about new plot direction. I have not forgotten about you! (hugs readers)

Oh, by the way, you can search for this story on under 'elvendiaries'. Just so you know. (grin)

So without further ado….Oh! before I forget: Amber Rose, PLEASE e-mail me! pouts

Okay. Story. shakes head Poor Ameron…poor poor Ameron…

Chapter Twelve:

Current Mood: Confused

Current Music: Why- Annie Lennox

What is it about me that Mirien dislikes so much? I have tried to be a good husband to her; how have I failed? Was I too possessive and needy? Not enough? How can one just grow out of love with another, one who they claimed held their heart?

Perhaps this is all for the best. Father taught me that all things happen for a reason, according to the plan of Illuvatar. Perhaps in his plan we were never meant to be? I must accept this- I must let her go.

Ameron stood at attention at the foot of the Great Stair leading up to the dwelling of the Lord and Lady of the Wood. Beside him, also on guard stood Tamar, one of his peers under Haldir's command. Ameron liked him, although Tamar was generally a quiet elf who kept to himself and never socialized with the others off duty. As they now stood guard together he realized how little he actually knew about him.

"Tamar," he whispered. The meadow around them was still and quiet, and he did not wish to break the calm. The other elf looked over at him questioningly. "Do you have any family?" he asked. Tamar looked almost unsettled at the question, but calm quickly replaced it.

"Yes," he replied softly, "my mother and father, they live in the north." He paused, and Ameron thought he had finished, but Tamar continued. "and my sister, she is here with me, but she has a family of her own." He smiled when he said this, his face almost glowing. In that moment he looked infinitely beautiful to Ameron.

"And you, are you married?" Ameron asked. The smile became softer, warmer at this question.

"Yes," he responded. "She is my life; as one of the Maiar to me. We love each other with all of our being but," he paused briefly and lowered his head slightly. "The Valar have not yet blessed us with a child," he finished softly. Ameron nodded his understanding.

"I have heard," he said, "that it is impossible to know or understand the ways of Eru or the Holy Ones, but they do know and understand us. Perhaps they only wait for the right time for that gift?" Tamar looked him in the eye and gifted him with a small smile.

"You comfort me, mellon," he said. There was a pause, as if the conversation had finished. Ameron resumed his watch duty, when Tamar spoke again. "And you- are you also married?" he asked. Ameron avoided the other's gaze, looking to the ground benieth his feet, but nodded. "Why do you seem ashamed? Do you not love your wife?" Ameron looked up at this comment almost in shock.

"Of course I do," he said defensively. He then caught himself and paused, taking a deep breath before continuing in a softer voice. "I lover her perhaps too much." There was a long length of silence between them as the words seemed to hang in the air and taunt their speaker. Tamar, like Ameron earlier, accepted that the conversation had finished and resumed his guard duty, when the other elf spoke again. "My wife," he began slowly, "has decided that we need some time apart." Tamar considered his words for a moment before responding.

"It is common that some couples need time apart if they spend too many years together," he said gently. Ameron shook his head.

"No, you do not understand," he corrected. "My wife wishes that we separate. She wants to end our marriage." Silence followed, and this time deepened.

"End?" Tamar said the word as if it were of a foreign tongue. "Elven marriages do not 'end'," he said. "It is the binding of fea to fea, they cannot be separated!" Ameron bowed his head again and sighed.

"You are right, Tamar, but that does not change the fact that we feel like strangers to each other. Perhaps our souls never bonded?" His voice had a defeated tone to it that made Tamar's heart ache.

"I do not believe that," he prodded. "You married. There must have been some time when you loved her and she returned that love."

"I thought so," Ameron replied dejectedly, "now I doubt even those feelings." He paused and looked into the other elf's eyes, unafraid now to show his pain. "I do not know what I will do without her," he whispered. Tamar sighed and considered for a long time his next words.

"I cannot imagine having to deal with what you face," he said, "but if I were in your position, I would make every effort to win back her love. Do not accept defeat. Every relationship waxes and wanes with time." Tamar moved closer and took the other elf gently by the shoulders, emphasizing his next words with a light squeeze. "Do not let yours fade completely."

Ameron nodded mutely as he listened. He was still lost in thought as Tamar let go of his shoulders and they resumed their watch in silence. As time passed he pondered the advice given. He thought long and hard about what he should do. When dawn began to break several hours later, and their replacements came to relieve them, Ameron had made his decision. He would go to Mirkwood. He would go as soon as he was able and attempt to win back the love of his wife. He would not fail.