I am no J.K.Rowling as i am very proudly The J! This stroy was inspired by a tale i told my friends

It is a wonderful story however i will warn you now that it dose have the death on some people, manly Cho, And i do feel it is my duty to warn people that this story has some quite... deathly bits, moose and some rather random bits.

the next chapter of this story is, i must say, even better so be sure to read on even if you don't like this one, which of course you will!

So i introduce to you...

101 ways to kill

a Cho Chang

Way number 1 ----It started with a flock of owls…

Cho Chang stood on top of the tallest tower at Hogwarts crying (as usual). It was the third day of the first term and already she couldn't take it. Cedric was still gone, and as hard as she had looked and experimented, she couldn't bring him back from the dead. And now back at school she saw Harry didn't want her. He wouldn't even talk to her with out his… posse. She had comforted herself with the though that if Harry didn't want her then he must be gay. She looked up and over the turret, and crept closer to the edge. Tears stained her face literally. She had cried so much that even when she wasn't, it looked like she had tears running down her face. 'No one likes me,' she thought, and she was absolutely right. Except maybe Victor. Over the holidays Hermione had given her his address hoping it would cheer her up. Cho loved him like no one else (just like Harry and Cedric) but Victor was still obsessed with HER. She climbed up and sat on the turret, loving the feel of the wind in her tangled mess of hair. She closed her eyes and after a few minutes she herd a swish of wings and opened her eyes just in time to see the flock of school owls flying staring for her. The owls had a crazed look in their big glossy eyes. The head owl gave a mad, evil hoot and commanded the owls to swoop. You see, the new head owl was in charge of ridding the school of all those who were unworthy of living or who were just a pain in the butt. They swooped, all 346.89 of them. Cho screamed but there was no escape. The evil eyed owl's swooshed her of the tallest tower and she fell…..

And fell……

And fell……

And fell……

And fell……

And hit a conveniently placed spiking thing that spears her through. (She is at this stage still alive)

She fell some more…….

More ….

More ….

More ….

More ….

And more…..

…..Another convenient spiky thing and she hit the ground.

Still alive, but not a sight for the faint hearted. She was torn and bloodied. Her hair had actually turned a nice deep red colour and in any other circumstances would have been very attractive, her back was broken but she was still alive. She was Picked up by the evil eyed owls and carried into the Forbidden Forest. She lifted her ruined head again, just in time to see a heard of hippogriffs charging at her.

The hippogriffs weren't actually charging at her, but they were charging at the evil eyed owls, trying to save the moose that the owls were now swooping at. The herd was about 12.456 in numbers so it took a while, but eventually they had all trampled her, but she was of course still alive.

She then did a thing that shook the world. She managed to stop crying! (This was only because her tear glands were broken in the stampeding but it still shook the world) She lay face down in the mud, contemplating her new hair colour. About 3 and ¾ hours later a Hippogriff who was a kind soul found her lying there and decided to take her to Hagrid's hut. Hagrid was at the moment very busy with making his newest pet, a Bemae, comfortable. The kind hearted hippogriff who I shall call Kiny decided to take his "lump of something" to his other master in Australia, she is still alive bear in mind. Kiny grabbed his live lump in his claws and carried her off.

Unfortunately for dear Cho, Kiny was not the brightest chap and he ended up, after 4.7 days of flying, dropping her into an anti-witch protest in Texas. Now after 4.7 days of being clasped in a Hippogriffs claws, our dear Cho had managed to wheedle up some strength. About 1.2 oz of it to be precise. So when she was dropped in what she though was anti-politician rally, she took out her wand and started to blast people, which they didn't really appreciate. Soon her strength was all gone and the personages grabbed her and tried her by the old and never failing witch test discovered so long ago by Arthur King of the Britons who was so wise about Sparrows.

Witches burn and so does wood, wood floats and so do moose, so if she weighed as much as a moose she must be a witch. She was placed on the hi-tech scales and was pronounced the same weight as a moose. The crowd cheered as they tied Cho to the stake in the middle of the place they were. As the flames licked at her feet, she tried to put a shield around her but was too weak. So with nothing else to do she managed to do the thing she did best, she managed to cry.

When she was little she had a spell cast on her, the thing she wanted to do the most she would always be able to do. She cried better then she had ever cried before but it was too late to save her when the fire had totally consumed her body. Only her bones were left and everybody left, talking about what a great day it had been. They had never expected to see a real burning. Cho at this stage was naturally still alive.

Summoning her strength she rolled her bones into the sewers, not knowing that they had just been contaminated with hydrochloric acid. Her bones were slowly disintegrated into milliscopic bits and gradually washed out to sea. Strangely as her "bits" washed out into the ocean, all her possessions (even her pet Iguana and fish Blinkly) spontaneously combusted in a puff of teal and kaki coloured smoke.

And so it was that every trace of Cho was erased from the face of the earth and everything was safe from her influence. But can anything really be destroyed? You can never be too sure at what might happen next in this fanatical world we call our home

As the last "bit" of Cho fled to the comfort of the sea, a Girl all in black faced the horizon and gave a faint nod. She tossed her sleek deep reddish black hair over her shoulder and headed up the beach and disappeared…

And so it was that every trace of Cho was erased from the face of earth and safe from her influence. But can anything really be destroyed? You can never be to sure at what might happen next in this fanatical world we call our home. who knows what could happen next?

I do.

Writen By The One and Only --- The J