(Hi again. I hope this hasn't been too bad of a wait. Thank you all for your super cool reviews. I love to hear what you have to say. I'm hoping to end this story by 30 chapters. It will be sad to end, but I must move to other things. In this chapter, there is a term that will need a definition, you'll know when you see it. It will be provided at the bottom of the page. I hope you all will find the humor in it, but I dunno... It was a spur of the moment kind of thing on a trip with my friends. Ok, I'm rambling, READ NOW!))
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We find our brave yound heroine digging around the potions master's private potions storage. You see, she needed information. She needed to know what it would take to make him fall. A prank involving a childhood embarassment, or maybe something less cruel. But the only way to find out would be to question the man himself.
"Aha." Dark whispered to herself, closing her fingers around a small vial of Veritaserum she poured a small amount of the contents into one of her own vials, and quickly fled the scene of the crime.
It was a calm Friday afternoon, the springtime at it's warmest. Dakota Smith strolled the school's corridors. She was looking for a way to casually bump into Snape. She was on the second floor when she spotted him. He just turned into another corridor and Dark was not fast on his tail. She was just about to jump at him from behind, when he quickly turned around.
"Fancy seeing you here, Professor." Dark beamed at him.
"Indeed. may I ask what you want from me?"
"Ouch. I just wanted to hang out. Have a nice drink of tea or something." She said.
"Fine, would you like to join me in my office." He didn't trust her. If he was going "hang out" he wasn't going to let her handle anything he'd eat.
" Erm, I was thinking more like the kitchens. Ask the house elves. No offense Snape, but wouldn't drink anything you gave me." Dark said, formulating her plan in her head. Snape seemed to t hink this was a suitable plan, because he began to walk towards the kitchens. Dark followed. Soon, they were sitting at a small wooden table with three house elves grinning toothily at them.
"What can we get you, Professor Snape Sir and Miss Dakota?" One of them squeaked.
"I'll have a cup of tea. No sugar." Severus answered. So typical.
"Do you have Coca-cola?" Dark asked. She smiled when The little elf nodded enthusiastically. "I'll have some of that then, please." She said, giving a smug "Yeah, I'm more polite than you" look to Severus, who glared in return. " Sevvie dear, that's really not becoming of you." She informed him. A growl was her response. As soon as the mob of overly happy elves left, Dark stood up. "Oh! I forgot." She said.
"What?" Snape asked grumpily.
"We need pizza." She said in an obvious tone. She scurried out of site to where the house elves were cooking and Severus snorted. Pizza. Once out of earshot, she said to the elf that was getting their drinks. "Um, Professor Snape would like some of this in his tea." She took out the vial of stolen Veritaserum. "He's feeling under the weather and this will help. Don't mention it, though. He'd rather pretend he's invincible." She winked at the house elf, who in turn tapped the side of his little nose knowingly. "Oh, and would it be any trouble to ask for some pizza?"
"Of course not. What is it you wish to be on it?" He squeaked.
Dark thought for a second. "Um, mushrooms, sausage, bacon, and oh, green peppers." She hoped that wasn't too much, but the house elf looked happy still, so she thanked him and went to sit again.
"What took you so long? It's just pizza." Severus snorted.
"It needed toppings, Sevvie-kins." Dark loved to call him names. It made his eye twitch. She couldn't help but flash a heart melting smile. Wait, does that work on Snapes? Dark realized that it almost did. Wait, you! No fraternizing with the enemy! Dark was about to say something, when the drinks came. Dark grinned. Showtime!
Dark drained half of her Coke, while Severus was about to take his first sip. He put the teacup to his lips and took a long sip. Then he looked up at Dark with a spacey expression. "Dakota... did you..?" He asked, recognizing the symptoms as an effect of the truth potion.
"Sev. Tell me about your past. You know. Dumb mistakes." Time to get some dirt. There had to be some pranking material in there.
"I was young and foolish. It was a terrible decision. Dark times..." She droned, almost dramatically.Dark sighed.
"No! I know you were a Death Eater. I meant-..." She was cut off.
"No! Worse!" He exclaimed. "I got into the muggle sport of... Motorcycling."
"Motorcycling? You on a Harley?" Dark asked, dumbfounded.
"Yes. I went to Laconia New Hampshire's Bike Week. It was a - a leather nightmare!"
Dark gasped "No!"
" Yes, but that's not all! I wore...I wore these leather chaps." He looked down at the table "Chaps? That's it? Well, that's not too bad. I mean I'd like to see your ass in a pair of chaps." Dark started, but saw the look on Snape's face. He looked ashamed. "Wait. Sev. Tell me you followed the 'Chap Rule' (A/N)" Severus said nothing. He had a pained look in his dark eyes. "You didn't!" Dark was bewildered. "You can't wear chaps without followng the 'Chap Rule'! I mean. You have the ass for them! WHY! You could have..Should have!" Dark was almost yelling.
The pizza was on the table, now. Dark sympathetically handed Severus a slice. He took it, and Dark ate one as well. She spent the rest of the time that the potion was still in effect to ask silly question that Snape had to answer. Didn't have the heart to use the chap info against him... No. He was young and stupid. The poor miserable creature.
"Sev? Am I cuuuute?"
"I think so... DAMNIT!"
"Hehehe. Do you like bunnie rabbits?"
"Deep down inside of me, I really do. I like their twitchy noses."
Dark nearly choked on her pizza, but at least it was worth it. Severus however, was now determined that she would not pull the ultimate prank. No matter what it took. He had a plan, for he knew a weakness. Erm, other than himself, that was. It was: Ninjas. The bane of her existance.
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The next day at breakfast, Dark sat at the Gryffindor table looking a bit distressed. What could she do for the best prank? The choices on the list now looked dumb and futile. Not worthy enough to be crowned the master prank. Harry looked at her, knowing of her information hunt.
"Find anything?" He asked.
"Nothing that I have the heart to use on him. The poor thing." She sighed. Harry thought this had something to do with the Death Eaters. If only he knew the true horrors. Bike Week. It made Dark shudder. Especially the sad condition of poor young Severus's behind.
The day went by with lots of N.E.W.T.s review. It was only two weeks away. The last class of the day was potions. Dark felt worried, knowing that she was coming up with no plans of prank action. She had been too busy with studying, and now she needed a miracle, or she'd face defeat. She knew that Snape would do anything to keep her from pulling said prank. She wondered how drastic his actions would be. He was definately set to stop her. He couldn't lie under the potion, and she did ask:
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"So, the ultimate prank. You think ou stand a chance."
"Dakota, you should know that I won't be made a fool of again. You won't win. It's about victory to me, not pranks."
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And so, as the flashback shows, Dark had reason to worry. She sat in the back of the class, and pulled on her pirate bandanna and tri-cornered hat. She also wore brown leather boots. She looked like a pirate in a school uniform, or better put, a weirdo. She didn't care, though. She wanted to at least try to distract Snape. She had just finished tying a red fringed sash to her waste when the Professor slammed the doors to the room and lept in. Dressed like a...ninja!
Dark's eyes narrowed dangerously as soon as she saw him. "Avast, ye scurvy ninja scum!" She cried, jumping onto her desk. she held her wand in one hand as if it were her cutlass. Severus pulled out his wand (no, not that one! ERLACK!) And held it over his head with two hands as he charged at his pirate foe.
"Hiiiiiiyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaahhh!" He leaped into the air, and onto the desk next to Dark's, sending some unfortunate loser toppling out of his seat. Dark launched into attack, and started a sword fight. There was a lot of jumping from desk to desk, and Dark had just about defested Snape, when the doors to the room opened. Standing in the doorway was none other than Albus Dumbledore himself. And there was a lack of twinkle involved.
Uh, oh...
((A/N CHAP RULE: To wear chaps, you must have a) An arse to fill said chaps and b) Pants that give form to aforementioned arse, because you can't go around with a flat flap of jeans just hanging there! Well, unless you have a rather unsightly bottom...then wait, why would you wear chaps? It's just a given that you need an arse to wear chaps.
This rule was mde on the trip I mentioned. We were on Lake Winnapasaukee (spelling!) on bike week. We saw this guy that looked like Snape! It was messed up, so of course we needed a background story. Oh, and he broke the chap rule... Yep, keep reading, please!))
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(Ok, my loveley readers, tell me what you think! It seems our Dark might be in some trouble. Hm... Oh, I think that you should check this author out. She's my pal and she is tres funny!
Jilene Marr has a new HP story, it's pretty origional. She also has a POTC, Edward Scissorhands, Secter Window, Village. Gee, am I forgetting any? Well, check her out. Oh, and check out my other stories if you havent. There aren't too many, but I'm working on it.
Thank you! Love, Mole)
