Anyhoo (Cherice typing)

Elizabeth stood near the edge of the ship looking over the side, a tear rolling down her cheek. The new not-so-torn black sails flew endlessly in the wind as Cherice came above deck to just sit quietly for a moment and enjoy the peace of the sea. But Cherice couldn't be at peace, Elizabeth was hurt and it was all Cherice's fault. (I really am too nice. Really.) Cherice walked over to her a little disappointed in herself. "You know Elizabeth, when I first came aboard I had no idea you and Will were together (what a lie)… and I really had no intentions of taking him away from you… (Ha! Another lie!) Really, I didn't." "I know. (Uh oh, she's being honest!) It's just all my life Will and I had this, oh I don't know, a "connection". Somewhere along the way we knew we were meant for each other, ever since that first day we met. It just doesn't make sense that he can have a change of heart so quickly." "I know how you feel. But if Melissa and I are going to be here awhile, and I have a feeling we will, we're going to have to learn to get along. So, in other words, let's call it a truce. I'll stay away from Will, if you learn to at least tolerate me, I'm not saying you have to like me, you just have to put up with me." "I never said I didn't like you, I was just a little jealous. That's all. Well, we should go down and see what's going on." So together they walked as if they were best friends (which by all means Cherice did NOT want) to see what was happening.

Below deck……………

Anna Maria as usual was slapping someone across the face, not surprisingly it was Jack, still upset at the fact that she doesn't have her own ship. "Anna Maria! I promise you I will get you a ship, I'll even make you captain, savvy? Now, I'm off to do me captain stuff. So I'll be up!" Jack wanted to say or do anything to get away from her, and his usual slick way of words worked. Melissa slightly disappointed decided not to follow him and seem obsessive instead she walked her merry little way over to Cherice. "So I see you and Elizabeth are getting along better." "Yeah I guess. She said she's jealous. Which I really wouldn't doubt but anyway." "That won't last long." Melissa replied. Cherice looked a little puzzled. "Will's crazy about you. He would do anything for you…" Cherice cut her off, "Are you forgetting he also said he'd die for Elizabeth yet here he is crazy about me? So what happens when another woman comes into his life? Maybe he's better off with her. I don't know." "Cherice, don't say that! Push Elizabeth overboard! Get her out of the way, and take him for yourself!" "No, I couldn't do that. I'm too nice." "That you are, that you are." Said a voice from…..beyond… (Lol in the X Files are we?) And there Will stood from behind them. "I heard your entire conversation. Just so you know. You honestly don't want to do all that just to get with me. Let me take care of things, I can get Elizabeth out of the way." Somehow this didn't sound like the Will they knew. Cherice replied sarcastically, "What's your catch?" "Oh no catch really." He winked at her and walked away. "That was a little creepy." "Yeah I think he's going to rape you." Melissa said casually. "MELISSA!" Cherice started laughing, "I don't think I'd mind it THAT much… how often do you get raped by someone like that?" She laughed again. "So I wonder what Will's really going to do about her." "Well Melly Mel Mel, there's only one way to figure out… we could totally spy on him. Who wants to do a little snooping?" "No! No no no no no no no! Remember that one time, when we tried spying on the neighbors because you thought he was a mass murderer? And it turned out he was a butcher? Let's not make that mistake again…" "HEY! That was fun! We had an interesting story on that too… so we almost got caught, so we almost were put in jail… big deal. Oh fine, be that way. I'll do it myself." So Cherice got up and snuck ever so quietly into Will's room.

Cherice stood in Will's room, thinking he was the type of person to keep his room clean. Pft. She could barely move with all this crap on the ground. "Heh, heh." Cherice thought to herself as she looked upon a pair of underwear lying on the floor. Finally after climbing over everything she got to a small book. There was nothing written on the cover, no lock to keep it closed. So slowly she opened it. It was Will's journal. She flipped to the very last entry, the one about her. She read it in her head, tears filling her eyes in amazement that someone could like her so badly. "Me, how could anyone feel so strongly about me?" After all, Cherice though most people thought her physically attractive was usually the outcast, she was the "freak" of her high school and basically the all around loser. But Cherice took great pride in this even if she did love to fit in once in a while. Suddenly there was someone in the doorway. Cherice practically dropped the journal and jumped out of the chair in which she was sitting. "What are you doing in here?" Will said calmly looking at her in an odd way. "Me? Well. You really don't see me. I'm just a figment of your imagination. Just carry on with what you were doing. This figment is getting out of here." Will rolled his eyes. "Well ok figment, mind telling me what you were doing in my room, reading my journal." The "figment" stopped moving and stared. "That was a figment also. I have no reason to be snooping around your room. Now if you could let me out of the doorway…" She said trying to push her way through. "No, I don't think I'll let you." Will looked at her with pure lust in his eyes. "Hmm, I see we've had a bit too much rum, hanging out with Jack a little too often?" Cherice said coolly. As you see, Cherice was normally fearless. "Born without a fear gene." Her parents had always said. "You can never have enough rum." "Oh there is a line you can cross. I think you've crossed it. So, if you could please let me through, I promise never to go in here again and I will completely forget everything I've read in your journal."

Will wouldn't let her through. So Cherice decided to have her fun and add a little humor. "Oh now you really don't want to be looking at me like that JUST yet. After all, we still have Elizabeth to deal with, after she's gone you can have all the fun you want with me. But until then keep your mind to yourself. Besides, once the rum has worn off you'll be back to normal. So, what are your plans with Elizabeth?" "I don't know yet. I'm thinking about marooning her on the same little island her and Jack were on last time. But that's well off the course. There's always getting her so drunk she doesn't know what she's doing and she "accidentally falls overboard into a pit of sharks. Though I don't know where to get sharks from." Will rambled on, and didn't even notice Cherice's cunning escape. She quietly slipped through the door, Will still unaware he was talking to himself.

"Ah, there you are." Cherice said pointing at Elizabeth. "You better go check out Will. He's a little too drunk for his own good." And Cherice ran off.

Meanwhile in Melissa's life……..

"So Jack. How much longer till we reach the port?" "Oh not long now, give it maybe 3 hours and you will see a large seaside city on the horizon." Jack said using the compass that doesn't point north. "Oh ok." Said Melissa who was studying the ship really hard trying to figure out exactly why someone could love this so much. "So honestly, how many times have you danced naked under the full moon?" Melissa said trying to be funny. "Well there was that one time, and then there was that other time where my ass got burned by a giant bonfire, and then there were those other times… well I don't exactly know how many, let's just say around 30 or so…so you've never danced naked under the full moon?" "No I can't say that I have." "When we reach the port…" :chuckles: "You know what we'll be doing eh?" :laughter: Melissa couldn't wait… no really. She really couldn't wait. Well, she sat in a chair, completely staring at Jack's ass. Which was really pretty funny.

Anyhoo

So there Elizabeth sat… a new entry in her diary now.

Middle of Day 85 of this madness…

Cherice and I called a truce. I think she had her fingers crossed behind her back. Anyway, I'm ok with her now. I think I'm fully ready to accept the fact that Will has moved on… Commodore Norrington is still waiting for me anyway. Well… It's about 3 in the afternoon and there's stuff to do. So I'll be writing later. Bye!

-Elizabeth SWANN (what kinda last name is Swann?)

So Will lay there on his bed, completely passed out from the rum when Elizabeth walked into his room. "Will?" She tapped him on the shoulder. "Will?" She said a little louder hitting him a littler harder also. "WILL!" She slapped him across the face. He still didn't move. "Fine then. When you wake up, you know where to find me." And she walked away, slowly at first just to make sure he was still passed out, and then faster up the stairs to find Anna Maria.

Anna Maria sat on her bed playing war (card game) with Melissa. "Ha! Look at that! My 7 beats your 6." Melissa said proud of herself. "Yeah well, go ahead and take the stupid 6, see if I care." Elizabeth laughed. "You guys are hilarious. Anyway, what's going on? Shouldn't we have been there by now?" Anna Maria answered, "Yeah of course we should have. You know Jack though, he probably took the longest ways there. But I really don't know. Why don't you go ask? Anyway, could you possibly leave now? This is war and I'm winning!" "You are not!" Melissa said defensively. "I am too!"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and went to the deck where Jack was studying his compass and singing to himself. "Yo ho, yo ho a pirates life for me… Why hello poppet. Came to see me did we?" "Well actually, I was wondering, shouldn't we have been there already?" "Well honestly yes, but we got thrown a little off course. Didn't want to run into another pirate ship…" "Oh. Right. So when will we be…" She stopped herself from finishing when all of a sudden a big port came into view. "Ahhh! Here we are! Arriving at the BEAUTIFUL Port Haven!" Jack, feeling very proud of himself said stressing the word 'beautiful'.

Port Haven really was beautiful, a busy little seaside town just off the coast Florida. The crew did their stuff, lowering the anchor, fixing the sails, raising the flag with skull and crossbones. You know, the usual pirate stuff. Finally Will awoke from his drunken-ness and came up to the deck to see what was going on. "Where are we?" He asked still a little drunk. "Welcome me boy to the one and only Port Haven, look to your left and you will see….erm… the ocean… now if you look to the right you will se this marvelous….city…..town……..thing. Anywho, enjoy! I'm off to go pillage, plunder, rifle and loot… and of course do all that other great pirate stuff!"

Below Deck (Melissa typing)

"I'm telling you, that's a nine!" Anna Maria yelled, throwing her hands up in the air. "No, you idiot!" Melissa yelled back, throwing cards down. "It's a six! It may look like a nine to you, but notice the fact that there are SIX hearts. Six, six, SIX!" After a blank stare from Anna Maria, Melissa shook her head and said gallantly, "I forfeit. You suck." Before Anna Maria could answer, the boat come to a sudden stop, and Melissa, standing up as she was, fell down and hit her head on the table. "Oh, crap monkeys and their nickel dicks," she yelled, her hand on her head. "That hurt like a mother!" "Uh………" Anna Maria said. "Suuuuuuuuuure, whatever you say about monkeys…… and their nickel dicks. Oh, you wouldn't happen to be talking about a little monkey named JACK, would you?" Melissa stared blankly at her. "No…. I just think that monkeys and their nickel dicks are all the same." After that, Melissa got up and dusted off her pants from the dirt….. grim…. Stuff that was on her pants. Once she was done, she got up and, leaving Anna Maria behind her, left to find out why they stopped.

Jack…… Enough said

Jack walked around the cobbled streets of Port Haven, his hips moving in a gyrating sort of way. After a while, he came across a little…. Tavern that was called The Layer. Now, OF COURSE this couldn't be anything…… untowardly. After all, it sounded so docile and sweet, and oh so fun. So why there was a half naked woman standing against the door was beyond Jack. But still, just to be polite, Jack stepped into the tavern and looked around in amazement. :writers block:

Well since Melissa has writers block time for Cherice's brilliant idears to come out. So continuing her paragraph…

RUM RUM RUM RUM RUM! There was so much RUM! To Jack's pure delight, there was every kind of rum imaginable, regular rum, Puerto Rican rum, Mexican rum… heck even English rum he was oh so tempted to try. So as he sat in this tavern taking in the sights, the brawls, the women… ah yes… the women. Yes… Jack's second favorite thing (next to rum of course) was women. Fat ones, skinny ones, big boobed ones, small boobed ones, he didn't really care as long as she liked rum and of course if he could get laid.

Melissa and Cherice….

Melissa and Cherice got off the Black Pearl and took a walk to the same little tavern that Jack was in. Jack spotted them immediately and ran behind a bottle of rum. (don't ask how it's possible, because anything's possible when you're drunk on rum…or at least when Jack's drunk on rum.) Jack looked through the bottle of rum and watched them walk in. Of course a drunken pirate greeted them at the door. "Welcome to The Layer!" :hiccup: The drunken pirate passed out and Cherice, reacting on her instincts put her arms out to catch him. But given the weight of this large man she fell over landing on top of him. She quickly got up. "This is NOT what it looks like! Ok everyone, I repeat I'M NOT SCREWING HIM MADLY LIKE A COW!" And under her breath she muttered, "Yeah go animal porn!" "What in all of the seas name?" Jack said listening in to what they were saying. But, just as he was saying this, Melissa assured every one of the pirates in the building, "Yes, she IS humping him like there is no tomorrow. Any takers?" "This is why I hate you. And as you mutter something about Pippin and Legolas under your breath you should know, that we're in the 17th century…sorry no Lord Of The Rings…but if there was Lord Of The rings now… Legolas would still be mine! BAH HA HA HA HA! But for now, I'm off to find Will." And so with that she left Melissa alone in the tavern.

Jack came out from his hiding place and greeted Melissa with a friendly :hic: and a friendly :cup:. (yes Melissa I am an idiot.) "Welcome to The Layer, love. Have some rum with me!" Melissa gladly accepted the offer and without saying a word joined him at the table where he was sitting. Three bottles of rum sat on the table and Melissa took one, and Jack took one. "I propose a toast!" Said Jack in a drunken sort of way. "To drunken love and getting laid!" Melissa looked at him oddly…but all the same she knew she would enjoy it. So without further ado, she raised the bottle and said, "To drunken love and getting laid…by you." Jack looked at her… but didn't disagree with her decision. So with a ding of the bottles hitting one another they chugged away, and soon enough they were drunk and well on their way back to the Black Pearl.

Ewwwwwww god no offense but picturing one of my best friends screwing like a mad cow doesn't turn me on. Sorry Mel. Jack Sparrow screwing does a little something to me… but hey… I'm after Will here!

Melissa's authors note:

Sure, ok, fine then. Be that way, Cherice. I think that you are just jealous of my sexy and oh so suave Jack Sparrow. You are just upset that they didn't feature Will with eyeliner and coolio hand movements. All her had was good hair and a sexy ass! He's nothing but a gay… man. There ya go! HAHAHAHAHAHA :maniacal laughter sounds in the background, as does lightning: Anyhoo, I'm gonna wrap this up.

Peace,

Melly Mel-Mel (First of the Geeks)