She's late. He knows, he's been watching the clock. A little too intently. She said she was going to do it tonight, after the party. He thinks she'll come in; crying and he'll comfort her. She's too nice sometimes; she'll probably go on about how she ruined his life by breaking up with him and how much he resents her now. And all the while Jess will smirk. He smiles just picturing Rory deserting Derek.
He thinks everything will be easier now. He hopes it will. He loves her. He thinks it's the fact that she can make him feel so extraordinary. She can make him feel a million different emotions at the same time.
She breaks his thoughts by walking in solemnly. He looks at her and he wants to comfort her.
"Hi," she says.
"Hey," he replies.
She looks at her feet. She doesn't even know why she's there. Oh yea, she's supposed to come back to say that now they can be together. He bounces almost happily off the couch and reaches out for her. His arms encircle her waist and he kisses her gently on her forehead. Then his lips run across hers. He steps back from her.
"I guess I can do that now," he says to her smiling.
She smiles timidly. She's holding back and he knows it. He reaches out for her hand. And then he notices it. It's actually hard not to. He feels it on her hand and then looks at it. He stares at it. He looks at her, and the tears start flowing.
"I'm sorry," she says to him.
He drops her hand. He's disgusted.
"No you're not," he says calmly.
She buries her head in her hands.
"You don't' understand," she says to him. Almost yelling.
The anger rises in him.
"So when's the date? Ole' Derek boy probably wants a nice fall wedding maybe late summer?" he says sarcastically.
"Stop it," she whispers.
"Oh come on Rory, you knew this was coming. You're a big girl now. You've got the ring on your finger you obviously want this. It is your life; you can say no if you want to. But you don't," he says angrily.
The tears keep falling from her beautiful eyes and he wants to reach out and take all the pain away, but he won't.
"Jess, I'm sorry," she says.
It's all she can say.
"Rory, I think you should go," he says.
She looks at him carefully and he looks at her tear-stained cheeks and still finds her gorgeous. He has to turn his back to her, just so he won't break down in front of her.
"Jess…" she starts.
"Rory, don't," he says, finality in his tone.
She turns on her heel, sniffling as she reaches for the door and slams it hard behind her.
He's left alone, not just for today, or tomorrow. The rest of his life will be lonely. The thought of it kills him. Tonight he'll drink, until he forgets all about her.
x.x.x
She thinks she's dead. Her whole existence is a joke. This isn't her life. Oh, but it is. They plan for a summer wedding. She likes flowers; he just wants to get it over with. His firm has already accepted him as a new partner. The house, excuse me – mansion, has been bought. Her grandparents can't stop smiling. And yet she isn't the least bit happy. She makes due with what little happiness she does have. She has her books. Though most of the good ones are still at Jess's apartment. Somehow she just can't bring herself to go back there. She's almost sure he doesn't want to see her face again.
She stays in a small apartment in Hartford until the wedding. Not that she hasn't been intimate with Derek. She has, it's just she'd rather not have her grandparents think she's been living in sin. He visits her every night after work. They sit together in silence, as she thinks this is the rest of her life. A lifetime of awkward silence and now, regret.
x.x.x
She waits for his arrival one night, almost agonizing at the thought that she would have to do this every day of her life. He knocks on the door and she opens it. Only she doesn't find him.
"Jess," she says, stating the obvious.
"Hi," he says to her.
He's carrying a box. She motions for him to come in and he does. She shuts the door behind him and he places the box on the bed.
"I…uh…I just came by to drop off some of your stuff," he says.
"How did you know I was here?" she asks him.
"Derek."
"Oh."
"He, uh, came by the apartment the other day and gave me an invitation; he said that he didn't know if you had already given me one. I guess he doesn't know about us –"
"No, he doesn't know."
He nods his head.
"Ok well here's your stuff if there's anything missing you know where to find me," he says.
He moves to leave, but she stops him with a hug. She wraps her arms around him and he doesn't shake her off. She pulls back from him.
"I don't want things to end this way for us," she says.
He just looks down, not knowing exactly what to say.
"Can we be friends? At least?"
He looks back up at her and sighs ,"Of course."
"Then Jess, please promise me you'll be at the wedding."
He stares at her intently. He hates himself right now.
"I'll be there."
She hugs him again, taking in his cologne. He leaves and for once, when Derek's there, she smiles.