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As Melissa and Jack walked down the street (actually, it's more like they were swerving, like drunken cows), they had a very meaningful conversation. "Now, what do you say love to a little more rum and the nice open sea air, savvy?" Melissa drunkenly replied, "Aye!" "Aye, now let's get back to that ship of mine." So they walked, arms linked together, back to the Black Pearl.
So as Cherice searched for Will….
Cherice walked down the streets, this town looking much like Tortuga, whores everywhere, along with of course the drunken men. After walking for a few blocks she came upon a blacksmith shop. "If Will was anywhere, this is where he would be." So Cherice walked in.
The blacksmith shop looked much like Will's, except in this one there was no passed out man sleeping in a chair, and no donkey. A little happy for this, Cherice looked around the shop, taking in the finely made swords and hatches, not to mention horseshoes. After a while, Cherice realized that Will wasn't in the main part of the shop, so she went to the large wooden door, and opened it.
:::writers block:::
Ah yes that's where I was…
(Melissa, he is not raping the donkey… so leave it.) Will was sitting in a chair, his head on the desk in front of him a tear rolling down his cheek. (Awwww you gotta love the sensitivity of this doode.) He immediately noticed someone walking in and sat up straight wiping his face free of the one lonely tear. "Oh. Hello, I didn't think anyone was here. Oh it's just you. Never mind." "Am I interrupting anything? If I am I'll just be on my way…" "No it's ok, you can stay. I don't mind." Actually Cherice felt a little uncomfortable… "Hmmm, is he still drunk? Is he gonna put the moves on me again? Hmmm…" "Sorry for the way I acted before," Will said. "I was a little…. Well, I just wasn't myself." "I'd say that you weren't yourself. You were drunk off of the rum…" "It's all right," Cherice said. "Well you seem pretty much sober now, so anyway…" The conversation went on.
As they continued talking, a door open. Seeing as how they were so caught up in the conversation, they didn't hear it. Only when a burly man with very little teeth walked in did they seem to realize that they were in trouble. BIG trouble. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SHOP?!" He shouted, his stained gums bared. "GET OUT! OR ELSE I'LL CALL THE CONSTABLES!" Cherice, having no idea what a constable was (it's a police officer, in case you didn't know), told the man hesitantly, "Now, this isn't what it looks like. We aren't having a midnight rendezvous." "Of course not," Will said, not totally sober; he DID drink a lot of rum. "It's not even midnight." Cherice shook her head at him, and was about to say something witty and incisive, when the man in front of her yelled, "I DON'T WANT WHORES IN MY PLACE OF BUSINESS!" This little line got Cherice a little peeved. Her, a WHORE? That just wasn't right. But before she could say anything, Will leapt up from the chair and gallantly, "You shall not call the lady a whore!" He then reached down for his sword, but soon found out that it wasn't there. "Well, ok, I can't really fight you but…. I shall win you over with my words! Aha!"
A few moments later…. (aka the lovers quarrel) ((Melissa typing now))
"Stupid girl got us in prison." Will muttered at the same time Cherice said "Stupid boy got us in prison." They both heard one another and defensively they said in unison, "I heard that!" They shot evil glares at each other for while but stopped when Jack and Melissa walked in, still obviously quite drunk. They were leaning on each other for support, and were singing loudly, "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!" They then lapsed into a fit of giggles, sounding like a bunch of school girls, Jack included. Soon enough, Melissa was on the floor, laughing her ass off, all the while muttering, "I like kinky sex with cows! They have sooooooooooooooo much milk!" After a while, they both composed themselves, Melissa dusting off her pants. She then looked over at the jail cell, and saw Cherice. "How the fuck did you get in there?" She asked, slurring her words. "Did you do something weird with a straw again?" Once again, she started giggling. "Ahahahahahahahahaha! Straw! It's sounds like SAW! Hahahaha! :::giggle:::."
In the cell, Cherice looked over at Will, forgetting, at the moment, that she was very upset with him. "Why must I be cursed with THAT for a friend?" She looked up towards the ceiling. "Why do you hate me, God? WHY?!" Before God (or Will, for that matter) could answer, there was a smack, and Cherice turned her head quickly. What she saw was Melissa and Jack laughing, holding their stomachs, and a very angry police officer. Cherice wondered what was so funny, so she asked Melissa…… "………What is so funny?" In between fits of laughter she managed to get out, "I smacked his ass… :::laughter::: and it looked like :::laughter:::: JELLO!" :::laughter between Melissa and Jack::: "Could they be more perfect for each other?" Cherice asked Will as the two were rolling on the ground hysterically, "I don't know. They really couldn't be more different, they're just drunk, give it a week and they'll hate each other." Will said chuckling at the end of his sentence. "THAT IS ENOUGH! I should have you two locked up too. Now these two drunken people are here to bail you out, I don't know if that's humanly possible anymore… Anyway, 5 shillings for the whelp and the whore." "AGAIN WITH THE WHORE!!! SHEESH PEOPLE! I REPEAT I AM NOT A WHORE!" Cherice sat back against the wall, muttering things under her breath. Jack pulled out a small velvet pouch full of shillings. "Ok, you can take the five shillings, but I still get the whelp and the whore right?" "JACK! She is not a whore, and I'd prefer if everyone stopped calling her that." Will jumped to her defense. Cherice looked at him, oddly touched by his words. But she was still mad at him for getting them put in jail. She told him as much. Well, not about the part about her being touched by him (hehehehe!). "I got us put in here?!" Will cried incredulously. "You were the one that said he should use a TicTac, what ever that is, because he smelled so bad." "Yes, so? You were the one that said he looked like a pig, and that it was easier to count what teeth he had left, instead of how much were gone." "Yes, well," Will shot back. "You were the one that…." He was cut off by Jack. "Mate, it doesn't really matter WHO got you in here, it's who's going to get you out. I should know; I've been in here enough. Well, not this exact one, but…" "Can you just get us out of here?" Cherice asked, slightly annoyed. "There's something very foul coming off from over by Will's end, and I don't want to know what it is." Jack stared at her blankly for a while, shocked that someone cut him off. After a moment, he shook his head, ridding himself of such thoughts, and said, "Uh……. Yea." He then took out five shillings and handed them to the officer. "Thanks," The constable said as Jack put the coins in his hand.
After the officer let Cherice and Will out of the jail cell, they all walked out of the building, Melissa and Jack, once again, leaning on each other for support. As they walked towards the Black Pearl, there was a silence. Well, at least until Melissa and Jack started singing, "Da da da da da da da da da da ("Batman!" Melissa yelled), And REALLY BAD EGGS!" The only thing that they heard was the laughter of Jack and Melissa as they walked raucously towards the boat.
On the Black Pearl…… ( Melissa/Cherice typing. We're formed at the HIP!!!) (aka the sharing is for fuckers paragraph)
:::writers block::: "Did you really call that man a pig, Will?" Jack asked once they were on the ship. They were sitting at the table that they ate… food, and Jack had a piece of meat over his left eye, seeing as he, somehow, managed to hit himself in the head; there was a bruise forming. "Jack, why in the whole fricken world do you have a fricken piece of fricken meat over your fricken left eye?" Cherice asked proud of herself for swearing J. "I like the way it feels." Jack said pushing the piece of meat further into his eye. Melissa sat there hysterically laughing. "How :::laughter::: does that :::laughter::: feel :::harder laughter::: good?" Melissa spat out in between spurts of laughter. "Would you like to feel for yourself?" Jack asked, suddenly in a very seductive voice. (Melissa: I don't know why I put that…) "Uh…." Melissa said uncertainly, looking from the seductively looking Jack and the intently staring Cherice and Will. "Sure…." And with those words, Jack shoved the piece of meat in Melissa's face. "Oooo that does feel good." Melissa said shoving the piece of meat in Cherice's face. "Get that away from me!" "You know Cherice, sharing is caring!" "Sharing is for fuckers!" Cherice said throwing it across the table to Elizabeth who then threw it to Anna Maria who then threw it to Will. Then Will, scooping up some of the tomato-y mixture sitting in a bowl and putting it on the piece of meat threw it across the table to Jack. "Tastes like rum!" Jack said right before he actually tasted the tomato-y mixtured piece of meat. "Oh ok, not really." So, Jack threw it to the midget. Who in a squeaky voice replied with, "So I guess this is the start of another gooooood food fight. ARRGH!" He threw it randomly across the room. It hit the floor.
So, Jack loaded it into one of the canons. He lit the cannon and it hit the neighboring ship of Captain Feathersword! (wiggles loooooooooool) So captain Feathersword loaded a frozen chicken into one of his own canons and it hit Jack in the face. So Jack ate it, right after he said, "That feels goooooooooooooood." Then he loaded the cannon with a rooster, that flew across the sea into the ship. "::Insert Rooster sound here.::" The rooster yelled, running around. "GIVE ME THAT ROOSTER!" The freaky parrot said, still standing on that dude's shoulder. "I'm cannibalistic!" So, after that, they shoved the parrot into the cannon, and it flew across the sea to Captain Feathersword's ship.
So after the parrot/rooster/meat war with Captain Feathersword, Captain Feathersword decided to come over to Jack's ship and talk to him. Instead, he burst into song! "That's what they teach me at my pirate school!" Then… he left. So as the crew steadily cleaned and scrubbed the ship, Jack was serenading Melissa with some stupid pirate song that he made up while he was drunk… no wait… he's still drunk. So as Melissa sat there listening intently… she realized she was staring straight into his black rimmed eyes. "Yes, love?" Jack asked politely. "Oh nothing…it's just that…your eyes are so….dark…and mysterious." Jack curled his moustache and replied with, "I know. Why don't you take this here bottle of rum." Jack handed her the bottle. She took it into her own hands. "I propose a toast." Melissa said eyeing Jack's hands as they slowly moved towards her butt. Melissa shifted slightly so that she was out of his reach. "To rum!" "To rum." Jack chugged it down as Melissa left the room. She could hear from in the hall, Jack's head hit the floor as he passed out.
Meanwhile in Will's room…..
Cherice sat in Will's arms, wrapped up in his embrace, enjoying the moment. Will turned (hahahaha Will turned…Will Turner…lol ok im done.) Ok well…. Will turned Cherice over so that she was laying almost on top of him but slightly beside him. The candles lit in the room gave it a romantic glow as Will leaned in towards her ear. His lips were against the side of her face as he whispered romantic-like things into her ear. (Unsure of what he was saying EXACTLY. But you can imagine… J) Melissa, suddenly very happy, picked the lock on the door to Will's room and burst into the room where Cherice and Will were leaning in, just about to passionately kiss. "Oh well I see how it goes." Melissa said sarcastically. " 'Let's make-out without Melissa!' Pft." Melissa said mocking the two. Cherice rolled over away from Will as his hand slid off her waist. "Can we ever have privacy?" Cherice said to no one in particular even though she was looking at Will. "Never." Will responded. "Oh well if you guys want privacy why didn't you ask? Sheesh! Or lock the door or something!" Melissa stormed out of the room. "Anyway…" Cherice said seductively moving back towards Will. Will's hands once again found her waist as he pulled her even closer. This time they leaned in, undisturbed, and shared a very passionate kiss. So passionate in fact that this could probably go down in the Guinness Book Of World Records. :::and this is where we leave the two…for now at least….and no…for all you perverts they did NOT have sex!:::
Authors notes
Cherice: Seriously guys…me and will didn't have sex (I only wish!) lol but hope you enjoyed the 3rd chapter…yes I makes slightly less sense then the others but oh well. Have a marshmallow!
Melissa: 'So yea. Another chappy has ended, and I know that you are all very upset. Probably most of you just because Cherice didn't screw Will into a coma, but hey. Life sucks. Anyhoo, half of that is mine, and the other half belongs to some dude named Alex who bought it from me from some weird website. But shhhh... Cherice doesn't know yet. Author's Notes suck! Peace, Melissa