The Logic of a Child
Chapter 5: Flowers by the Flagpole
IMBSA: Sorry that this chapter is later than it should be. We had a HUGE thunderstorm and the Internet went out and you know what that means. I couldn't send or receive e-mails, I couldn't even go on the Net, and it sucked. :sigh: Anyway, sorry again for the wait.
Disclaimer: "He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news."
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Roy assigned Ed, Al and Armstrong to pick something healthy up in the mess hall for the two little ones and take it back to his office. He expressly ordered them to steer clear from the salads, or anything resembling leafy greens. On the way, Ed asked Armstrong what he thought: whether they should continue with the experiment or just totally scrap it (which was impossible, considering the Fuhrer's orders.) At the mess hall, the three had trouble deciding what meal would be appropriate for the youngsters.
"How about some greens?" Armstrong recommended, "Chock full of nutrition. Vitamins, minerals, everything you need to get big and strong----like ME!" He whipped off his shirt and commenced flexing his arms and pecs showing off his chiseled torso, random sparkles seeming to increase in number.
Ed, leaning on one crutch and holding the other, managed to cover his eyes in disbelief, or disdain at Armstrong's seemingly insatiable need to share the view of his well developed torso.
"Did you NOT hear what Mustang said? Nothing that looks, smells, tastes, feels or sounds like a salad," Ed disparagingly shared.
"How about fruit salad?" Alphonse cheerily suggested. Ed was quieted by the proposal trying to find his happy place, shaking his head in disbelief.
"A fruit salad is still a SALAD!"
"But brother, a fruit salad has fruit in it…." Al argued.
"It has the word salad in it! You want Mustang to kick our asses because we disobeyed him? A salad got us into this mess, and it's not about to get us out!"
"Technically, brother it was a head of lettuce, not a salad," Al corrected.
"I don't care if it was the head of Mustang!"
"Besides, I thought you weren't afraid of him," Al challenged.
Pause. "I'M NOT AFRAID OF HIM! GIVE ME TWO FRUIT SALADS!"
If Al could have smiled, he would have.
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"I thought I specifically said…'no salads'." Roy was not very happy at Ed's choice of food. "Take it back."
"But—it's a fruit salad!" Ed yelled in response. "It's not a greens salad!"
"I don't care; it's still a salad. Take it back."
"….You should take it back."
"Excuse me?"
"You're the one who wants it back, so you take it back. I mean, I hobbled all the way over there and all the way back here. I'm not goin' back again."
"You didn't carry the food either. You just walked, excuse me, hobbled. Alphonse and Major Armstrong helped you. Now, they're not here. You take it back."
"How am I supposed to carry the trays back when I have to use crutches, genius?"
"That's not my problem."
"Yeah, your problem is that you're an arrogant, pompous, horse's a—"
Suddenly, a shout of "FOOD!" coupled with another one of "Stwawbewwies!" went up as two, waist-high (for Ed, at least) people collided with him, tackling him to the ground, making the trays of fruit salad fly into the air before falling to the floor with a splat. Ed was immediately abandoned in favor of the delicious treats on the ground.
Much like chipmunks, the two four year olds stuffed the fruit into their mouths, some of the juices running unchecked down their chins. Ed propped himself up to look at them. "Well….At least they're quiet." He tried to push himself to his feet, forgetting that his foot was no longer there. "What the—" Crash! "Um….A little help here?"
Roy sighed. What else could he do? They were hungry; they needed to eat. And besides…Ed was…right. Of course, Roy would not admit it aloud. Ed's head was big enough in his opinion. Sometimes, it was bigger than Ed himself.
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Fury was glad that the girls were finally fed something other than candy, although Riza's promised chocolate bar was still in his drawer ready to be given out at a moment's notice. For some reason, feeding something so cute and playful made Fury think about Black Hayate---Black Hayate! Surely the kids wouldn't mind another playmate. He requested to get Riza's dog and bring him back to the office, "for the kids," Fury explained to Roy. With Fury gone, Havoc taking extended "'coffee breaks," Ed with a screwed up foot, and there was no convincing Falman for more help after the heavy duty clean up and apprehension of the "vandals," Roy turned his stern attention to "Uncle Heymans".
"Breda, weren't you watching them?" Roy asked.
"Yes sir, but I figured that Ed—Major Elric was taking care of them." Breda looked over his shoulder at where Ed, who had been helped up by Falman, was busy entertaining Winry. He noticed that the boy had a look rarely seen on the FullMetal Alchemist's face: a smile that genuinely looked happy. Even Alphonse's treat to the expression was occasional at best. Breda's attention retuned to Roy with the Colonel's next words.
"So you thought you could neglect your duties."
"N-no, sir, I just—"
"Never mind that I specifically told you that it is your turn to look after the girls, you just decided that, since there was another person staying with them that relieved you of your responsibilities?" Breda felt something tug at his pants, but ignored it for fear of angering the Colonel more. "That is not what a good caretaker does." Another tug, a little more insistent. Once again, it was brushed aside. "A good caretaker stays by the side of their charge, no matter the circumstances, something that you, might I add, have not done. Even Havoc paid better attention to the girls." One more tug, and then the presence was gone. "You should take a lesson from 1st Lieutenant Hawkeye in that respect."
A confused Breda timidly asked, "So, sir, do you mean to say that you want me to scribble on the desks, throw temper tantrums, and shoot unsuspecting bystanders with water pistols?"
"No, I'm saying—" he was distracted when there was a tug at the material at his knee. Looking down, Roy saw a sad-looking Riza with part of his uniform gathered in her tiny hand.
"I'm still hungry, Uncle Roy." She piteously half-moaned, the look in her eyes painful to see on anyone, and especially on Riza. She sniffed.
"Breda. Get some food for the girls." Roy commanded after a moment of gazing at Riza's pathetic expression.
"But sir—"
"Now, Lieutenant Breda."
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"C'mon girls, you'll love this!" Breda tried to build up the late lunch he bought for the two who waited anxiously for their meal. "I got you some milk and some really, delicious, scrumptious, gruel!" Breda tried in earnest to make their meal so much more appealing than it looked.
"What's that grey stuff?" Riza inquired.
"It's a really healthy meal called gruel."
"I'm allergic to gruel," Riza decided.
"No you're not," Breda argued.
"Yes I am," she retorted.
"You don't even know what gruel is."
"Yes I do," Riza corrected.
"Well, you might Riza, but not Winry."
"What are you doing?" Ed asked. Breda looked up as the boy made his way over to the trio, struggling slightly with his crutches..
"Trying to feed them." The red-haired man answered. "What does it look like
I'm doing?"
"I meant what are you trying to feed them?"
"It's gruel. Soldiers eat it all the time. It's a highly nutrious meal," Breda explained.
"Was that even on the menu?" Ed sarcastically asked.
Ed suspiciously picked up the dish in front of Winry, smelled it and immediately pulled back. "Is that stuff even edible? What's in it, horse meat? Sorry Mustang. Oh, wait, on second thought I take that back. It must be horse meat."
"Ew!" Riza and Winry chorused.
"I don't wanna eat howse meat!" Winry cried.
Breda was placed on the spot. "You really need to eat it. You're both hungry aren't you?"
"But not for that." Riza wrinkled her nose in the direction of the gruel.
"At least drink the milk," Breda coaxed. He did not want his money to go to waste.
"Don't force that on them either!" Ed exclaimed as though scandalized by the mere thought of anyone being subjected to drinking milk.
"Now what's wrong with milk. It's a healthy drink," Breda defended looking Ed in the eye.
"I don't care if it's the healthiest drink in the world, that stuff tastes like swill!"
"Oh—and you know what swill tastes like---sounds like the voice of experience to me," Breda accused. He was getting tired of Ed's comments about the food and drink he had bought for the two.
"Oh so you wanna get personal with me, chubby?"
"I wouldn't wanna get personal with you, small fry,"
"Who are you calling so short that the head of a pin is larger than his universe!"
"What? I didn't say anything like that!"
"You really did it this time, fat-ass!"
"You wanna take this outside, buddy?"
"Hey—I don't really care where we fight! And I'm not your buddy. All I know is that you'll get an ass kicking you'll never forget!"
"Ass-kicking? Well, bring it on!" Breda's fingers beckoning Ed.
"Gentlemen," Roy's voice stopped any further escalation of tensions. "Where are the girls?" he asked. The two combatants stopped and looked quickly around the room. No girls were to be found, but an open office door told where they had possibly gone.
"Oh shit!" Ed cursed as he, Breda, and Roy ran (or in Ed's case hobble) out the open door to search for the wayward four year olds.
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Master Sergeant Cain Fury smiled to himself as he carried Black Hayate into the office. He couldn't wait to see the look on the girls' faces. Would Black Hayate recognize Riza? It would be fun to see them interact with the roly-poly pup. But as he entered, he noticed the office was too quiet. Sensing something amiss Fury asked, "Where are the girls?" as he scratched the puppy behind the ears. The dog instinctively licked his fingers.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Falman commented sarcastically looking at yet another article in the paper," They apparently got lost."
"Where? Under whose charge? Are they ok, do you know? Where is everybody? Why aren't you out there looking for them?"
"Well, somebody had to hold down the fort," Falman explained.
For the third time that day Colonel Roy Mustang's office door flew open to smack the wall loudly.
"Look what beautiful flowers I found blooming outside by the flagpole," Armstrong announced holding Winry in one arm and Riza in the other random sparkles glistening around Armstrong's head. Fury immediately put Black Hayate down to take a slightly apprehensive Riza from Armstrong.
"Teddy-sama saved us," Winry mentioned. Fury, giving Riza his promised chocolate bar, sat with her on his lap, placing the bowls of gruel on the floor for Black Hayate's reach. He gave Riza the container of milk, but she quickly shook her head and instead happily ripped open the Hershey bar.
"They were in search of the mess hall, when they saw Alphonse coming in their direction. They ran back from where they came, but in their state of panic they took the turn into the courtyard instead. Fortunately, I happened to see them and scooped them both up before they were noticed. I gave them some gumdrops to help sate their hunger, but they may need more sustenance."
"Someone needs to inform the Colonel that we found them," Fury suggested.
Just then, Havoc returned and immediately had the urge to walk back out; seeing the two girls gave Havoc the craving for another cigarette. "Have you seen the Colonel, sir?" Fury asked.
" No, but if you'd like for me to fetch him, I'd be more than happy to---anything is better than subjecting myself to more hopscotch and chase games," and with that he was gone.
Approximately, half an hour passed, and the girls were engaged with Black Hayate, under Fury's watchful eye. The office door slowly opened; Roy was the first to enter, head sullenly faced down, asking himself, "Where could they…be," he trailed off as he saw the two girls playing with Black Hayate.
"Sir?" Fury questioned seeing the slightly angered, yet relieved look upon the Colonel's face. Roy wanted to run to Riza; after all, he had spent so much time searching for her, but he dismissed that thought and deliberately placed himself in commanding officer mode, something he often had to do when dealing with his soldiers. And no matter how old she looked or whatever angle he viewed, the Riza in his office was still his subordinate.
Then she saw him.
Riza smiled and ran to him; her arms were outstretched and she attached herself to his boot, as she often seemed to be doing in her regressed state. Roy looked down and everything, his promise to himself not to be so physically close to her, especially with her age, seemed empty and cold. He couldn't help it. Reaching down, the Colonel lifted her up and into his arms, holding her tightly against his chest. His eyes were scrunched closed as he put his forehead to her shoulder. He came so close to losing her; he did not want it to happen again.
Ed hobbled in, scathing, slightly psychotic look in his eye as he pushed through the doorway, not wanting to be anywhere near Breda. He was slightly apprehensive of what he would do to the barrel-chested red-head. He felt responsible for losing the girl that so much reminded him of Nina. It was like having to relive the tragedy. And that wasn't the end of it. For all that Winry did (i.e. annoy or insult him or dismantle his foot), she still had a very special place in his heart. Maybe that was why Ed almost lost his footing when he saw Winry playing with Black Hayate. Struggling to hobble faster, Ed exclaimed, "Winry!" Relief flooded his voice.
The little girl turned to see him. "Tall tall Ed!" She squealed, running to him and wrapping her arms around his leg, making him, once again, fall to the floor. Yet Ed didn't seem to mind. In fact, he returned her embrace, not even trusting himself to speak.
The reunion seemed to bring Roy to his senses. He smiled, ever so slightly at Riza, and then placed her back on the ground. She ran directly to the black and white pup who was her "new" friend. Suddenly, she stopped.
"There's something wrong with Black Hayate." Everyone turned to look towards the sound of Riza's worried voice. She was staring at Black Hayate with her hands covering her mouth in horror. The dog's head began to lurch forward in a rhythmic motion, as though it were trying to force something out of its mouth. His back arched, one last time before a glob of residual gruel came pouring from the poor canine's mouth. "Oh no! I told you that gruel was nasty!" Her eyes were once again full of tears as she ran to hug Black Hayate around the middle. "Black Hayate's gonna die!" She wailed, not responding to Fury's attempts to calm her down.
"Wait, how did he get gruel? Was it the gruel on the table?" Breda asked, the last to enter the room, but in time to see the unfortunate spectacle. "Who fed him gruel?"
Winry gave Fury a glance before innocently replying, "I don't know…." in an annoying sing-song voice.
Breda gave her a glare, as if knowing she was lying.
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IMBSA: Poor, poor Black Hayate. And we tried to put some non-obvious Royai and EdWin in there for you people. R&R!
Camille: We try to make them that way in spite of Riza's brattiness.
DarkHeartKeyblade: Well, go ahead, if you want her to scream and yell for "Uncle Roy" and then risk getting your head shot off if/when she returns to her normal state. But sure. 'S your funeral. I still want to adopt Emily too...
Az4ever: It's more like she was disappointed in herself. To be sure, she was sad, but we just thought that even at that age she wouldn't be womanly emotional. Too much, anyway. If it had been me, I would've probably cried.
Heart of Flame: Did you? I'm not sure. I doubt it, otherwise I would have responded. If you did and I was just really tired, then might not have noticed your review, in which case I apologize heartily. I like to promptly respond to my reviewers. But I'm looking over the reviews in my Inbox, and I can't find any earlier one by you. Oh well. You reviewed now. I'm not gonna carry a grudge like that to my death or anything. Yeah, we meant to make her a strong-willed child, 'cause really, she's gotta have strength to put up with Roy, to protect him as she does, though it's very muted in the series. You kind of have to think on it a bit. Believe me, I know the feeling about not wanting children. But it seems to go away and come back every so often. But I think that it's worth it.
Camryn: Doesn't she seem a little too mature for her age even as an adult? She's what, late 20s, early 30s? And she barely seems to have a youthful personality to suit her youthful age. She has the enormous pressure of protecting Roy as well as the others, so she seems to have to be the parent of the lot. Because of this, I imagined Riza as a take-charge, precocious young girl different from her peers in that she was a bit more intelligent than they were. That's the way she is in adulthood. Why should it be any different in her childhood? And she doesn't understand what "traumatic instance" means; she's just repeating it. It's the same thing about the "pisperturbed" joke. She didn't know what he meant, but she made her own assumptions about the word. And if it seems like I'm lecturing you, I'm sorry. My mom tells me that I was one of those 4-year-olds—not necessarily a brat, mind you, but in the sense that I used long-ass words, whether or not they were in the right context. See, we do exist!
The Celestial Tiger: :gasps: Hold on::runs out of room and returns with a collection of stuffed plushie FullMetal Alchemist dolls, all holding 'Get Well Soon' cards. Hands them to The Celestial Tiger: Here's to a speedy recovery! I hope everything went well. I'm glad it was able to make your day! Have fun with your new plushies!
Kyia Star: You're just gonna hafta wait and find out, aren'tcha?
Maylin-chan: Riza is, but if you read my response to Camryn, there's a reason I made her that way. I think she's fine if you don't cross her and if you stay involved with her. She wouldn't be such a nightmare if Roy were baby-sitting her or if she were the center of attention, which is typical for a four-year-old. I speak from experience. Winry would have to be on Ritalin, wouldn't she::sighs: ADD, ADD.
Pichu172B: Well, that's Falman's problem. Serves him right. Maybe next time he'll pay attention and not be so engrossed in his paper. Thanks. We thought it was funny too.
Chibijac: We just liked the image of Ed staggering around on crutches while missing a foot. Wires hanging down and everything. Breda has his turn in this chapter. We loved Havoc's shift too. It was fun to write.
Tsunade-chan: My mom and I were talking about our reactions if we were part of Mustang's group. I said that, no matter what age, I would scream, "Teddy-sama!" and myself to Armstrong's leg whenever I saw him, which would probably get inconvenient since one usually needs one's legs to walk. Haven't they always been each other's weakness? Hughes is mine too. He and I are so much alike: maniacally obsessed with certain things, the joking one, the dorky but oh-so-lovable member of the group. It's just funny.
C.A.M.E.O. 1 and Only: No, I didn't realize that. But I kinda meant…little girls, like Samara, from "The Ring" (I don't care what anybody said, that thing scared me pantless), and that other little girl from "Dark Water". And Chuckie, who isn't a girl, but reminds me of one anyway. I've had my share of freaky stuff, and I'm a girl too. So, I guess we're all freaks together? Where do you live, so I can dispose of these little Roy-haters. J/K. As you can tell, I'm obsessed with Roy. We're planning on a smidgeon of fluff at the end, nothing too serious. And we tried the latter part of that request without actually going through and stating that. I would think by now it's obvious that they're all in love, but hey, with some things I need to be hit over the head with a brick in order to get it, but, whatever.
Runa: Thanks. I find that I love it when he's around too because writing his reactions is just so fun. We're not planning on doing a sequel like that, but that would be funny. You're welcome for the treat. We're just good like that.
Darkone & angelneko: Thanks for the review!
Scathach: Thank you also for the review! Well, my mom is a teacher and she's taught almost every grade in Elementary school. Plus she was in a family of 10 kids, and she had to take care of me. Also, I baby-sit a couple of foru-year-olds (or five).
invisible johnny: No problem! I deserve them::blushes: Wow, thanks! We figured that Armstrong would be that way with any kid, never mind Riza and Winry. We had fun writing him too. They make your world go 'round::blushes again: W-wow….
Fireblazie: Thanks for the review! Personally, I think Roy'd get his head shot off if Riza (real Riza, not Little Riza) woke up at his place without an explanation. While this would be extremely funny, we'd have to deal with the fact that Roy would be dead. Oh the sacrifices for humor.
Candidus-lupus-full Moon: Good to see you're enjoying! Believe me, you'll know when it's over.
aNiMe-AzN-aNgEl: We enjoyed writing all those characters' parts, and it's good to see fans enjoying them too.