He thinks he might go blind. There must be thousands. Hundreds of thousands of flowers. White flowers, to be exact. They're everywhere. He sits off to the side, in the groom's tent. It's nearly two hours until she commits herself to the death sentence. He, himself, is contemplating suicide. Derek and the 2 other groomsmen, Dumb and Dumber, are desperately hung over. Dumb is eating every piece of food in sight, Jess thinks he soon might start eating the flowers, there's enough to go around. While Dumber looks like he's ready to heave at any time. Jess thanks God he doesn't drink in-groups otherwise he'd be worse off than all three of them.
The tuxes are handmade, stitched from the finest materials imported from Italy. He finds them uncomfortable. It's humid out, and he can almost feel himself melting. The bridesmaids rush in and out helping the men look their best. They seem ditzy, he thinks Rory's kicked them out, that's why they're not helping her instead. Finally he has enough of it and leaves the tent. Guests are arriving. He sees a few familiar faces but no one he wants to give the time of day. He finds his best friend: the bartender. He figures he should start early anyway. There's no point in staying sober during the whole ceremony. But something stops him. Something she said. "I care about you". God damn it, Rory. Why does she always do this to him, he thinks. Oh ya, because he loves her.
x . . x
She has a horrible headache. She can barely remember last night, only bits and pieces. Mostly she remembers the pieces she's likely to want to forget. There's perhaps half an hour before she has to walk down the aisle. Her dress feels like poison seeping into her skin. She doesn't care that it cost almost as much as her Yale tuition. She can't even believe something so stupid could cost that much. She looks in the mirror and she hates herself. She finds herself particularly ugly. The first thing she'll do is get a nose job. Just a small change. The thoughts flood her head. Then she laughs at her insane visions. Unfortunately it's only the beginning.
She turns around as she hears the tent flap open. She covers herself quickly. It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. They don't need any more bad luck. But it's not the groom.
"Are you lost?" she asks him.
Her bitterness bites at him, but then he smirks, and then he looks at the look of genuine disgust on her face and frowns.
"No, I…well…Rory…" he starts.
"Jess, look in about 20 minutes you and I are just going to become a distance memory. Anything you said last night or even last year isn't going to matter. So unless it's an emergency situation I think you should just either wait or let it go."
He looks down at his shoes. She makes him nervous. She's growing up, without him. He realizes for the first time when he looks up that she's in her wedding dress. Her hair is in curls pulled back in a loose bun that hangs low by her neck. A few strategically placed curls fall gently on her soft skin and entwined into her hair are small pink rose buds. He thinks he's in heaven and she's his angel. Her dress hugs her chest and stomach tightly and eventually puffs out. Her shoulders are bare and her dress shimmers in the dim lighting. He knows right then that he will never be able to be with her. He can't, he thinks to himself. She's letting go he might as well. Any reconciliation would be useless. He turns to leave.
"Jess?"
He turns back towards her.
"Ya?"
"I meant everything I said last night. And I just hope that one day you'll forgive me for putting you in a situation like that. I know it was very inappropriate."
His heart breaks. He wants her so badly. Doesn't she realize she's the only thing that makes him work. The only thing he has ever really wanted. He hates her all of the sudden. She's playing games with him, he thinks. It's not very funny. He doesn't say anything to her, part of him doesn't want to give her the satisfaction and part of him just doesn't know what to say. He regrets what he said yesterday. Maybe if he had said the right thing they wouldn't be here right now. They could be together, alone. Forever. Stupid ass hole, he thinks to himself. Why do you always have to fuck everything up? She watches his eyes. Go from her to his hands to the ground. And again. And again. He turns to leave again. But something instead him, stops his feet from moving any father. He turns towards her again.
"Your eyes glitter when you know something someone else doesn't, but you're too nice to point it out. "
Her eyes stare at him intently.
"Jess, don't…"
"Your voice gets high when you're mad," he says over her.
She feels her stomach drop.
"Your right eye twitches when you're telling a big lie."
"Jess, stop…"
"You can't cook and you're happiest with a burger and a cup of coffee."
"Jess!"
"You let your hair fall into your eyes just so that I can push it back."
"I do not –"
"You can't stand in when I fall asleep first."
"Well I –"
"You can't stand my grammar and when I write something you always correct it."
"I am not-"
"You try to pick fights with me over the simplest things."
"That's not –"
"And you wanna know the real reason why I love you? Rory, damn, you make me the happiest guy in the whole freakin world."
"Jess, Stop!" she says to him as tears flood from her eyes. "I swear to god if you say anything else…"
"You'll what? Hurt me? You've done enough of that."
Suddenly the flap of the tent opens again and Ditzy Bridesmaid #2 enters.
"Uh – Rory, it's time," she says looking questioningly at the suspicious duo.
"Thanks Katherine, just give me a minute," she replies.
The tent closes and they are left alone again.
"Jess, you had your chance. I had my chance. We just never want the same thing at the same time. Please, do not make this any harder for me than it already is."
He shakes his head, disgusted at her, himself. He wants to rip her wedding dress off of her right now. He can't though and it's killing him.
"So, if you'll excuse me I have to get married."
A/N: Sorry that was utterly and completely fluffy! And no worries, there will not be any cheesy "I object" scenes, those are so cliché. I'll update this weekend I promise, updates weren't coming because I had a HUGE AP history test but I'm done and can spend more time on my story. Thank you to all of you who reviewed.