Chapter 17: Plans
"What!" Inuyasha yelped and leapt away from Kagome. "He's a girl?"
"And you are not gay," Bankotsu confirmed.
"I knew it," groaned Inuyasha. "I need to sit down… You mean the whole time we were looking for her, she was right under our noses?"
"Something like that…"
"Good lord," Miroku said, staring at Kagome.
"I can't believe it," moaned Inuyasha.
Bankotsu rolled his eyes. "Just in case you were wondering, while you're here sitting in shock or rolling on the floor sighing about it, someone over there is bleeding."
Inuyasha snapped up. "Ok, what do we do? What do we do?"
"What are you, a child? Clothes off, blood off, healing stuff on and bandages on."
"Right you are," Inuyasha said. "But – she's a girl…"
"Ok, you don't help then," Bankotsu said easily, starting to untie the blood-soaked fighting haori on her.
"Hey!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"And I got killed four times," bragged Jakotsu.
"So? I got killed five times, ha!" Sango said. "And escaped with nothing but a broken arm, too!"
"Ha, and I'm a demon, I heal way quicker."
"You do realize I'm not listening, right?" Bankotsu interrupted.
"We owned Kagemaru!" yelled Jakotsu, bouncing up and down.
"Where's Miroku and Inuyasha?"
"Ah. One's looking like his dream has come true and the other is wishing his dream would come true.
"Naraku ran away," Sango said mournfully. "He saw Kagemaru fall, and took off into the woods."
"Sesshoumaru said it would be foolish to try and enter the woods at night, so he sent us home like we were children," complained Jakotsu.
"Ever the hero, eh? Let me guess, he followed."
"Actually, no, he just disappeared off somewhere," Sango said.
"Probably to groom his fingernails or wash his hair," snorted Jakotsu.
"Like you don't groom your fingernails or wash your hair?" sniggered Bankotsu.
"Yeah, well, I'm not a fanatic like the guy is. Maybe he broke a claw fighting Naraku and couldn't bear to show his face to the world."
"Want to see Kagome?" Bankotsu asked Sango.
"Of course."
Bankotsu led them into the next room. "Hey, houshi, Inuyasha. You two have had enough gawking time. Move along a little."
"Hey! I'm family!" snapped Miroku.
"Fine, you stay. Sorry, Inuyasha, but lovesick suitors don't count."
"Did she wake up?" asked Sango, peering at her unconscious friend.
"Yeah, but she asked us what we were doing, and Inuyasha so smartly said he was taking off her clothes. And Kagome fainted."
"Idiot," Sango said, bopping Inuyasha on the head.
"That's another one who's unconscious now," Jakotsu said, clucking his tongue. "Can I please look after Inuyasha?"
"Heck no. Inuyasha has just discovered he doesn't quite swing that way," Bankotsu retorted.
The door snapped open.
"Just as I thought. None of you thought to call a miko or healing-woman?" asked Sesshoumaru. Kaede trotted in, followed by -
"Kagura! What are you doing here?" Miroku asked.
"Kaze to onna wa tojikome rarenai," quoted Kaede. "You can't lock in wind or woman. Kagura just happens to be both."
"What nonsense," scoffed Kagura. "It was nice of Sesshoumaru to get me out, though."
"So he wasn't taking a bath," sighed Jakotsu, looking dejected.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"What are you doing?" shrieked Sango.
"Be still," Kagura said sternly. She slapped some ground herb paste onto bandages, and proceeded to wrap the material around Sango's ribcage. She jerked the ends sharply, earning a gasp of pain from the girl.
"You suck," Jakotsu snorted.
"Your turn," Kaede said easily, finishing rinsing a cloth in hot water and an herbal antiseptic before dabbing vigorously at cuts across his back.
"You suck," Sango said.
"Where's Bankotsu?" Jakotsu asked, choosing to ignore her remark.
"Sleeping. Really, sleep is the only thing that can help when your soul nearly leaves you." Kaede lectured. "In fact, it's nearly the only thing that ever helps for any injury, so I expect to see you two sleeping. No wandering off, insisting you're alright to fight, or arguing about who has the more severe injuries."
"Damn, she just ruined all the fun of being an invalid," grumbled Sango.
"You know how old people are," Jakotsu sighed.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He looked up as the door slid open.
"I thought the old miko would have locked you in bed," Sesshoumaru said, eyeing his thoroughly bandaged visitor.
"Kaede? She's too busy telling Sango and Jakotsu not to sneak off, she forgets about me," Kagome said.
"It's not like any of you would sit quietly and heal, so you can't blame her, really."
"Like you would," snorted Kagome. "Talk about pot calling the kettle black."
"I don't put myself into situations where I have to waste time to recuperate," he said.
She rolled her eyes. "Well, sorry if some of us aren't strong, smart, and over-arrogant youkai."
He looked unfazed, merely ignoring her comment and switching the topic. "What do you suggest we do to counter the shogun?"
"Hmm… assassins?"
"Not too clever an idea. What do you take Naraku for, a defenceless child?"
"Fine, um… exile?"
"He won't back off so easily."
"You know, if you keep vetoing all my ideas you might as well save your breath asking me."
He looked at her, sarcasm dripping off his words. "Well, why didn't I think of that before?"
Kagome let loose a giggle. "You're out of ideas…"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Inuyasha paced back and forth nervously.
"What're you doing here?" asked Miroku suspiciously, eyeing the hanyou in the corridor.
"What, I'm not allowed to walk in the corridors?" Inuyasha shot loudly.
"No, I'm asking what you're doing wandering the corridor outside Kagome's room," Miroku said.
"Oh, buzz off, you lecher," grumbled Inuyasha.
"Hey! You're the one lurking outside a girl's room."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Intimidate him."
"Naraku doesn't intimidate very easily," noted Sesshoumaru.
"Well, infuriate him. Kick him out of Kyoto and Edo. He'll burst a blood vessel."
"And then wipe him out. Not bad."
"See? I'm so full of good ideas."
"Anyone ever tell you that you should be less loud in a man's presence?"
"Yeah, lots of people."
"It never hurts to follow advice."
"Indeed," Kagome snorted unbelievingly.
"I'll walk you back to your room."
"Oh, don't worry."
"Yet it's precisely when you tell me not worry that I feel the need to inquire in your affairs."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Leave me alone!" Kagome swore.
"So you go gallanting off somewhere else?"
"Come on, what's it to you?"
"I'll tell the miko Kaede you were out of bed," he threatened calmly.
"Now, shut up…" Muttering under her breath, Kagome shot Sesshoumaru dark looks. "God, he's so… annoyingly, that… jerk… why can't he even be half as patient or sweet as his brother?"
"I'm sorry, what were you mumbling about?"
She sniffed. "I was commenting to myself on your role as arrogant jerk and why couldn't you try and come of half as good as Inuyasha."
"Inuyasha?" The Emperor nearly halted.
"Yeah, Inuyasha. He's a nice guy."
"So you fancy my brother."
Her cheeks bloomed into bright pink roses. "I didn't say -"
He brushed it off. "About time you showed some modesty."
"I'm always modest!"
"Apparently not enough?" She followed his line of vision right towards Inuyasha and Miroku pacing the hall outside her room.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Sir, you have orders to leave Kyoto immediately, clear out your Edo home and return to the Northern Lands pending investigation of crimes."
"What crimes?" demanded Naraku.
"The Imperial orders do not state which crimes," the runner said pompously. "The Emperor gives you three days."
"Stripping me of everything but the shogun title?" snorted Naraku.
"That is pending the decision of the emperor."
"The emperor is a -'
"I would suggest you keep whatever the emperor is to yourself. You don't want to add high treason to your crimes."
"Ok, ok," Naraku snapped. "What am I being tried for?"
"You will be informed shortly."
As the messenger left, Kanna entered.
"What now?" demanded Naraku.
"He was here… he took Kagura."
"Who's 'he'?"
"The emperor."
"Stop bloody calling that bastard that!" screamed Naraku, before storming out the room in an angry rage.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"What the heck were you two doing outside my room?" asked Kagome.
"Well, I was looking for an earring… Inuyasha was trying to eavesdrop on you."
"Eavesdrop? Why the heck for?"
"Because he likes y-"
Miroku noted the look on Inuyasha's flushed face, before deciding to keep quiet if he wanted to carry on his family line.