Title:
The Goblet of Love
Author:
Hila
Pairing:
SS/HP (duh)
Category:
Humor, fluff
Rating:
PG13 (I guess, I'm so sorry but I just can't write lemons!)
Summary:
Harry and Snape are destined for each other, didn't you
know?
well, they didn't know either (see posted plot bunny for
details)
Disclaimers:
not mine, JK's, 'm just having fun.
Notes: this story
resulted from a plot bunny that was posted on the
Afterclass ML
The
Goblet of Love
Chapter
1
People called it the Goblet of Love. This wasn't its real name, of course, but since its real name was unpronounceably long and meant something along the lines of the match-making cup', it didn't mind being called the Goblet of Love.
The Goblet's work was very intricate: it had a list of all living and unmarried witches and wizards and had to match between them according to the nature of their magical signature, their personality, their preferences and a dozen other criteria. The Goblet did this based on various statistics and a very complicated network of spells which enabled it to think' and to feel' (as much as a goblet can think or feel, in any case) and which were strong and permanent enough to register it as a high class magical artifact and place it under the careful care of the Ministry.
The
Goblet usually liked its work; after all, it is very rewarding
to
be responsible for every successful marriage in wizarding England
for
the last two or so thousand years. Things were different back
then;
when the magical community had smaller, each marriage had been
a
celebration of the entire community. The wedded couple's family
and
friends would all gather around the goblet to ask if the match
was
a good one. If the goblet approved then the soon to be wedded's
names
would magically appear in pink letters above the goblet. By
the
time the names faded the couple was officially married.
Such
was the power that it held back then, it was responsible for
each
and every marriage. Now things were different: with the growth
of
the wizarding community, consulting the goblet has become a mere
formality.
Usually one person would come before the wedding
ceremony
to ask for the Goblet's advice as it was considered good
luck
if the goblet approved. If the Goblet didn't approve of the
match
then the ceremony was usually held off for a few months, even
years.
After a certain delay, where the rejected fiancé's lived
together
then they would come consult the Goblet again. This
usually
worked because people living together usually ended up
changing
each other and, more often than not, two people would be
better
suited to be married after a few years of living together
rather
than a few months.
The growth of the community also had another effect on the Goblet.
It
still held the name of every non-married witch and wizard but it
was
a lot harder to select the perfect match. The Goblet found one
of
theses perfect matches about every ten years. This meant that,
when
the Goblet did come across a perfect match, it was
very
impatient
to see it turned into a marriage.
Right
at this moment though, the goblet was extremely irritated with its
latest
pair. Oh, he'd seen them coming for over eight years. Ever
since
the boy had come to Hogwarts their names had resonated, for
lack
of a better term, and each year the resonance was growing
stronger.
But since the second removal of Tom Riddle's name, the
resonance
had been replaced by pure attraction between the two names…
and
there weren't any signs that the people involved were getting
any
closer to coming infront of the Goblet.
Well, the Goblet technically could force a marriage, and it already did so not very long ago, but it had certain standards. The most important of which being that the people involved had to be living together for over five years without pursuing a deeper relationship.
This
made the Goblet think about the last two times that it had
issued
warnings. The first, quite a while ago, was for Arthur and
Molly
Weasley. Oh, they had been together all right, but neither
had
yet made a move towards engagement and the Goblet had felt
obliged
to act. They had come to it barely a day later and were
proclaimed
husband and wife within the week.
A glaring success.
The second, and more recent case, was that of James and Lily Potter. Those two had been destined for each other ever since the day they met, in a rather similar fashion to its current case if it thought about it, but they had been a nightmare to get together.
Usually
a pair that received the Goblet's warning (which literally
asked
them to get married in the following seven days or come to
negotiate
with the Goblet itself) was given, after ample
negotiation,
a few months to get used to living together and to the
idea
of getting married to each other.
But those couples at least showed some good will! The Potters (Potter and Evans at the time) had ignored their warning. This meant extra work for the Goblet since it meant that, on the seventh day, it had to use its magic to force them to consummate their marriage (after the warning's expiration the couple was legally married).
The
Goblet was forced to repeat the process several times, which, it
has
to be noted, the then future Potters resisted, until they
finally
gave in and agreed to sleep together after three whole
months.
And even then it was sleep and nothing more, remembered the
Goblet
while gritting its proverbial molars. It took another six
months
of the Goblet's prodding for the two stubborn brats to agree
that
they might be able to see something worthwhile in each other
and
another year (in which the Goblet had said to hell with it' and
abandoned
them as a lost cause) before they came to stand infront of
the
Goblet, awaiting its agreement to their marriage.
When, nine months later, the name Harry Potter' was added to the Goblet's list, it had seriously considered to go on strike until that generation died, for fear of going through the same headache again.
And
now here it was, with Harry Potter having turned nineteen last
summer
and seriously considering sending the boy a warning. Well,
the
boy had been living with his match for over five years (eight
years to be exact, even though the Goblet usually didn't
consider
years
in Hogwarts as living together', but this boy, like his
parents,
was a special case) and dealing with his match on adult
terms
for about two years.
The names had started to attract, for lack of a better word, each other after Tom Riddle's second removal which was soon after the boy's seventeenth birthday (probably had something to do with the change in the boy's magical energy signature as well) and the boy had been on the Hogwarts staff since his eighteenth birthday.
Now, as a general rule, the Goblet tended not to interfere with the Hogwarts staff. That is, mainly because Albus Dumbledore (bless his beard) liked playing match-maker with his staff and, with about a ninety-nine percent rate of success, was rendering the Goblet's work much easier. So they had a tacit agreement: Hogwarts was Albus' private playground.
But the Potter boy had to be different, didn't he? Well, not that his match was that much better. The Goblet had been trying to find someone for that man for years! At least when Potter's name had reacted to him, the Goblet had let out a proverbial sigh of relief, thinking that its job had been done for it. But noooo, it couldn't be that simple, could it?
Actually, the Goblet had decided to give the couple a few more years before sending them a formal warning (if just to save it the headache of extra work), but now that the Herthya girl had brought it up, the Goblet could not let go of the subject.
To
be totally fair, the girl hadn't done it purposefully. Mona
Herthya
had come to consult the Goblet about a marriage that her
parents
had arranged for her. She herself could not see how she was
supposed
to match the man she was promised to in any way, shape, or
form.
Once she had given the names, the Goblet could not agree more. Nothing positive would come of a union between these two.
The
Goblet indicated so by making the two names appear in black.
The
girl sighed in relief. Then she had started talking to the
Goblet,
telling him that she wanted to try another name, one that
she
had dreamed about for a long time. The Goblet didn't mind, the
worst
that could happen was the disappointment that the girl
might
feel.
Then the girl had said that name: Harry Potter.
The Goblet immediately expressed its disapproval and the girl left with her shoulders slightly slumped. But the Goblet was left in an extremely irritated state. And now it was on the verge of sending a warning.
The decision to actually send the warning was, in the end, a quite simple one: since both people in this union were male they technically couldn't reproduce (although with these two one could never be sure) and therefore dealing with the mess now will leave the Goblet a longer time to recuperate before the next perfect match was brought to its attention.
And so it was decided: Harry Potter and Severus Snape were to be married, whether they liked it to or not.
to be continued
A/N:
hey guys! here's the reason for some of the modifications made
to
the original plot bunny. well, when I read the bunny it kinda
stuck
in my head and wouldn't leave...now, the problem is that I
thought
that it was posted on the MoM list and therefore planned the
whole
thing with Harry teaching DADA as Ash (would have been
hilarious,
don't you think? "err war mage? was that owl for you?")
anyway,
this is why Harry is older in this fic and why he's a teacher
at
Hogwarts of course, after the 5th book I'm quite convinced
that
he's gonna become anyway so it works
C&C greatly appreciated!
Ja
Hila