Wow it sure has been a long while since I have been here. I just hope there are people out there who can still recall the happiness and wonderful feelings that So Weird brought us all. The show might be dead, but I know it shall live on in my heart forever (long with some a few eps saved on video tape). I hope it lives on in your hearts, as well. Now join me on a journey down memory lane. But please stay on the path it can be a bit dangerous out there. Oh yeah it should go without saying that I don't own the right to any of the characters or the show itself (because if I did it would still be airing)
"Good night Annie have pleasant dreams." I whisper to my blond headed charge in the hallway of our unfashionable bus; careful not to disturb Jack who is sleeping in the room my back is against. The show tonight was good in a few aspects and bad a few others. The good part was that the performance went well, no foul up were made by anyone. The response we received from the audience was quite heartwarming and generous. The bad element it was the size of the audience. Ticket sales aren't what had estimated or hoped it would be. It's a double-edged sword, we can't get more tickets sold unless we adverse more of this tour; and we can't do this unless we have the money do so; and that comes from ticket revenue. A vicious perfectly drawn circle and the eraser to make a new path is missing.
I retreat into my miniature haven of escape also known as my room, the Sandman tapping me on the shoulder to inform me that sleep would be more than wonderful. Locking the door behind me, a habit that is completely unnecessary, but it's called a habit for a reason. I remove my shirt and toss it on to the foot of the bed, if I caught either Jack or Fiona, and Annie as well doing the same with their clothes I would of have scolded them and insist that they find a more suitable place to put it. Being an adult the rules sometimes don't apply to you in same level. My glance falls onto the head of the bed on top of the pillow to be more accurate, to find a letter with my name written on it, waiting to be read.
Picking it up wondering why the author didn't just talk to me face to face; there are only few people who could have placed this here. I slide my finger underneath the sealed flap to open up the mystery awaiting me. A letter, I sit down on the bed and start to read the words.
Dear Molly,
As I write these words I am well aware of the unchangeable mistake I am about to make. With these words all will change for me in sadly not a good way. For I am aware you will regard me as a foolish child still trying to learn the difference between infatuation and love. I am not a child. I do understand the difference, and with that I have to inform you that I am in love with you. I tried to ignore this for the longest time, tried to convince myself it wasn't true; though the harder I fight it the more intense the feelings become. I can't count the moments I wanted to touch you, hold you, and kiss you. It takes all my control not to every moment you appear in my sights. I would dart in front of a bullet, jump off a cliff, anything for you no matter the pain or even death it could bring to me. I understand that you don't feel the same for me. I have already accepted that. But I had to tell you. I had to let my feelings out in some form or another before I went completely mad. Just do me a favor, and don't break my soul. Don't mention this letter to me, don't tell me. "That's sweet but I don't feel the same." because I know I couldn't take the pain. And to make things easier for myself soon as the tour has ended I will resign as your guitarist.
Sincerely with all my love Carey.
I reread the words over and over. Unsure if they are really here placed on my hand. Carey? In love with me? A mix match of emotions floods my mind each trying to compete with the other. Pity for him to feel this way; touched because he does care; excitement for a situation so unexpected; anger towards him for telling me this; and happiness. The last one I am unable to explain still there it is. I am happy because he loves me? Happy because though misguided as his thoughts might be he followed his heart? I sigh stand and finish changing into my clothes for sleep, still trying to make an understanding of this all.
He's too young. He's one of Jack's best friends. He is my daughter's secret crush. He is the son of two of my closet friends. I keep repeating all of that to myself. More than enough reason to know that this entire situation is more than foolish it's nearly insane. I smile at the darkened ceiling of thoughts I know aren't right and should be stopped instantly. He's sweet. He's generous. He is also one hell of a musician. He has an ability to make me smile without even trying. He is damn good looking to boot.
"Damn you Carey." I listen to my words filling the room. Now here comes another emotion, rage. How dare he tell me this! I can't do a blessed damn thing. I can't tell him he's a foolish little boy; nor would I want to. I can't tell him I feel the same because I don't… I can't. Does he have any idea what is letter would have done to me? With his peace of mind comes the slow destruction of my own. I need to get out of here. For a walk perhaps to clear my mind from all of this. Not bothering to put something more appropriate on for an outside venture, I decide my robe will be more than enough.
Slowly I slide open the door to make sure it's old standard sweak doesn't fill the narrow hallway and awake anybody. Still remaining quiet as possible I make my way to the main area of the bus, my eyes falling upon the back of his head. I can't tell if he's asleep or not. It's a common occurrence for Carey to fall asleep on the couch while reading through one of his musician magazines. I am unsure of what direction to continue walking in. If I keep on going forward there is a chance I'd have to face him. I am not prepared to pretend nothing was said or in this case written. I could return to my room, than my nervous energy will be unable to have an opportunity to escape.
"How long are you going to stand there?" I jump and let a yelp fall from my mouth at the sound of Carey's voice. I suppose I wasn't as quiet as I thought I had been. He turns to face me staring at me in a way I have never experienced before. Not even sure if it's good or bad. I smile sincerely as I can manage, my heart pounding as my mind still wonders what is going to be said or done.
"I was trying to decide if I wanted to take a walk or not." I tell him as I step forward.
"It's a bit late don't you think?"
"Not that late plus I was planning on sticking close to the bus." Wait why in the hell am I explaining myself to him? It shouldn't be any of his business of when, where, or why I go somewhere.
"Fine, but you should at least put something on your feet, pink fussy slippers perhaps." I drop my head down to discover my completely bare feet I feel my face change hues in embarrassment.
"Damn I think I left those in Texas last month, I do have a pair with Kermit the Frog, would those work?" He laughs softly and shrugs his shoulders in a response of sorts. I almost forgot how heart warming his laugh could be. What? It was becoming difficult to comprehend the thoughts that kept spinning around. Without saying a word I return to the room and slide my feet into the amphibians giant head.
"Now is this more suitable?" I ask softly as I reappear in his line of vision. He looks me up and down and nods his approval.
"Hopefully you won't be arrested for strange and suspicious behavior. Just one look at that um…wonderful outfit they'll throw you straight into the looney bin." Carey informs me as he walks towards the cupboard only to open it, stare at the various bags of treats, and close it without selecting one.
"You should get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning." With those words I walk off the bus into the hot summer night, listening to an owl hoot in the near by distance.