Onto chapter 2, if you need a reminder of the disclaimer please direct your attention to chapter 1, thank you.
I begin to slam my head against the cabinet door as she departs from the bus. I just had to do it didn't I? I couldn't be one of those people who successfully bottle up their feelings for years and sometimes even an entire lifetime. No I just had to write to that stupid letter and place it on her pillow earlier this evening as she talked to my mom. I had several chances to sneak in there and remove it, to save me from the embarrassment. Atlas I didn't, frankly I have no idea why. Nor do I know what I was excepting to hear from her in response. Was it her laughter filling the bus? Her rushing towards me declaring she felt the same? Or worse of all the thing I had mentioned that would scar me more than it all, pity? I just don't know.
Now would begin awkward silences, staring at each other afraid of what the other might be thinking, or not thinking about. She would soon start avoiding me afraid I might do. How could she not! Dear God she used to baby-sit me! If anyone needs to take up resistance in a mental home it should be me. For the thoughts and the ability of not being able to keep my damn mouth closed. "Way to go Carey." I say to the wall as I sink down into the chair, staring at the closed window blinds.
I am not sure at what moment my feelings turned into love, it just happened without my permission or even knowledge. Just one day it was no longer Molly Phillips wonderful musician whom I have a crush on, it became Molly Phillips the wonderful woman I loved and would kill for. I tried to ignore the feelings, attempted to bury them deep in the ground in hopes they had never really been there to begin with. It didn't help, if anything it made the emotion grow. Along with anguish of knowing nothing could ever come to be. Only in my dreams.
Glancing at my watch I discover it's 11:48 if I know my mother as well as I think I do she'll have us up at 6:30 to start traveling. Whenever my dad isn't here to drive the bus our timetable schedule does a near 360-degree change. She being an early riser and traveler, while he prefers to cover more traveling at night and rest during the morning and early afternoon. Remembering Molly's words to get some sleep a true and logical statement to make, but how can I sleep after what I did? It will be a miracle if I ever sleep again.
I can't remain here forever I think to myself, it would be too uneasy for her to find me waiting as she returns from her walk. Gingerly I get up and make my way to mine and Jack's room sliding the door open careful not awaken him. A smile comes to face when I think of what his reaction could possibly be if he ever found out about the letter and all of my feelings. None of the scenarios are good. Nothing of this is good, and it's all of my fault.