Author's Notes: Okay so I'm back again, with a relatively quick update. (Well, it is for me anyways.) They return from the future in this chapter! I figured I owed all you guys for being so freaking slow. Anyway, last time, Harri made the absurd suggestion that Fawkes was responsible for their trip to the past. Severus made it clear that he was very livid over the way he had been used by the Headmaster. Hermione became more determined to rescue them, and Ron missed his friend. Voldemort wanted a certain book stolen for sinister reasons. ::ominous music plays:: Thanks to the following for reviewing: Wytil, sab, AG the master, Shuki –aka- Quikjewel, Ganymede, ranchan17, and Lunawolf. Everyone gets a complimentary huggle.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. This honor goes to Ms. Rowling, who by the way is an amazing writer. But she knows that already.
More Than You Think You Are
Chapter Thirteen: Come and relax now, lay your troubles down—no need to bear the weight of your worries here let them all fall away…
Harri woke up earlier than normal today. She felt uneasy, and a bit depressed. Today was the last day that she would spend with her family. After this, she would never see her mother again, nor her father so happy. No longer would she be able to talk with them well into the night. She and her father had developed an understanding. Never had the discussed the topic of her mother and she was more than grateful for it. Instead, she learned about her past. She learned about her paternal grandparents, who according to her father were the worst kind of people. Occasionally, her paternal grandmother would have burst of compassion, but those were few and far between. Her mother still remained a mystery, and slowly she had begun to accept that they would never have those heart to heart talks as she got older. They were simply things she could not change.
She and Draco agreed that they would spend their last weeks with their parents alone. Harri never asked what Draco and his parents discussed if anything, but she trusted him enough to know that he wouldn't dare try to change the future. It would endanger everyone including their parents. Before they had immersed themselves in their families, both teens had researched their mysterious 'helper' and learned that Fawkes was indeed the most likely. As ludicrous as it sounded, they knew it was now a feasible possibility. The only person that would believe such a far fetched tale would be Dumbledore, and that was only because he and Fawkes were familiars. Since they now knew what had sent them to the past, and after practicing numerous times to successfully become animagi, they succeeded.
Neither knew what animal the other became and they both liked it that way. Perhaps this was because she didn't trust him enough. Trust was yet another boundary the two had yet to cross. Draco was understanding, and didn't press the issue any further. She wanted very much to trust him, but his father was the second in command of an entire lot Death Eaters. While she learned from her time spent in the past not to judge someone by their parents, Draco hadn't exactly refuted any of the claims. He remained stagnant as of late regarding verbal attacks to the muggle-born students. His ability to refrain from such bigotry was a wonder in itself. Harri would definitely be talking to him about that issue. She could not dwell on such thoughts for much longer however.
"Jayda, are you alright? You kind of spaced out there. Is everything okay?"
Lily asked her daughter with a concerned frown. Harri smiled at her mother's thoughtfulness. She was beautiful, but she didn't seem to see that in herself. Harri remembered talking to her mother when she had first arrived about that. In truth, Lily Evans was one of the most beautiful women Harri had ever seen. She only wished that when she returned back to the past, when her father could terminate the charm that she inherited even an ounce of her mother's good looks.
"Sorry Mum. I was just thinking about everything's that has happened is all."
Lily nodded, giving her a surreptitious look. Lily knew that what ever occupied her daughter's mind concerned her in some way. She had gotten used to the idea of waking up in the morning and seeing her child's face. She enjoyed talking with someone that understood her. Jayda was good at listening, and sometimes she seemed a bit too eager to hear what was going on in her life. Lily knew not to ask any questions. She herself had been plagued with nightmares yet again. This time, her visions were vivid. She saw her death yet again, and she heard the mysterious voices laughing at her sorrow. She clasped her daughter's hands gently, feeling the folds, and curves of her hand. She wanted to memorize very inch of Jayda because intrinsically, she knew her daughter was lying about their future lives to protect her feelings.
"Jayda, I just wanted to tell you it's been great having you here. And that—some might tell you there's no hope in hand, just because they feel hopeless. You don't have to be a thing like that. Whatever life has in store for you, face it head on."
She said solemnly, hoping her message was getting through. Lily knew she'd never know what was in store for her, and the visions that she did have, she wished could be erased. Everyday that they ha spent together was wonderful, and she didn't want to tarnish Jayda's memory of her by revealing information about the prophetic dreams she was subject to have. She looked back at Harri, and frowned when she saw the tears fall from her eyes. Harri wiped them away quickly. She didn't want to look like a weakling in front of her mother.
"It's alright. Nothing is here to stay Jayda. Everything has to begin and end. We both knew this time was coming. I'm just glad I got to meet you, and see the young woman you'd become."
"Thanks Mum. I'm sorry that you have to forget me, but I'll never forget you."
Lily smiled wistfully, her mind drifting to the conversations they had before. Those were good times, and she found herself wishing she could capture them forever. She didn't want to forget anything about Jayda. There was no way for her to remember her daughter because she would just be a vague memory, treated like a rumor and just as easily dismissed. Deep down in her heart, Lily felt that even if she was obliviated, there would be remnants of Jayda's visit to the past. Jayda didn't know, but Lily had secretly taken a picture of Jayda while she was playing in the exhibition Quidditch game, before she had fallen. There was the picture she, Severus, and Jayda had taken. She didn't have that picture, but she did have her own picture of Jayda soaring through the air. Though she wasn't supposed to, Lily had written on the back on the photo. She simply wrote the date the photo was taken, and of course, her relationship to Jayda. No one would ever find it, and she would make sure no one saw anything of it.
They said nothing more, just simply enjoying each other's companionship. They both liked the silence, for it was comfortable, without being imposing. No longer was there any degree of awkwardness about forbidden subjects. There were certain things her mother didn't want to divulge, and Harri respected that. Gradually, Lily didn't question why Harri walked around so down hearted despite the fact she was in her last week at Hogwarts. They absorbed everything about one another in without being too obvious about it. Before her daughter did leave, there was something Lily wanted to ask her.
"Jayda, what's going on with you and that Draco boy?"
Harri froze, turning slowly to meet her mother's gaze. Had she heard correctly? Did her mother just ask her what was going on between her and Malfoy? If her mother saw… what if someone else saw? Harri's mind drifted back to her first meeting with him. He had been rude and pompous, a thinner, more handsome reminder of Dudley's cruel personality. There relationship through the years could be best described as a rollercoaster of emotions. The last time they had remotely gotten along had been before she boarded the Hogwarts Express. When she met Hermione, and Ron, it had been like power, compassion, and loyalty meeting all at once. When Draco had later offered his hand of friendship, she refused to accept it. He had been nothing but rude, and cruel.
As the years grew on, and they matured but her feelings for him had been of resentment. Now that they had the chance to get to know each other on a more personal level, slowly walls were being broken. Her feelings for him were changing, through a slow and gradual process. Harri could almost pin point the moment when she stopped looking at him like a Death Eater's son, or a Slytherin, or her archenemy. She questioned why she allowed herself to get so flustered over him. Hadn't he taunted her for five years, quite relentlessly? She in turn, had hated him, and reciprocated the feeling with pranks, fights (both verbally and physically to some degree) but now her hatred of him had ebbed away. There were only three people she had despised, and now she couldn't bring herself to say that she still hated her professor, nor Draco, who as far she knew didn't really hate her.
"We're classmates Mum. I don't think that there is any else there."
Lily studied her daughter's face pensively. They both knew that what she and just said was a lie. Lily nodded, choosing not to press the issue. If Jayda wanted to talk, she knew that Lily would be there. She just wished that she knew what was going on in her life. Her mother had always been open with her, and had been ecstatic at the thought of having a witch in her family. Had she failed Jayda in some way that she couldn't talk with her? Harri sighed, running her hands through her wavy hair. It had grown more, losing the infamous wisps that it was known for. It would need cutting again, not that it did much good, and her hair would continue to grow unruly. Now that she knew James Potter was not her father, would her genes from Severus finally show?
His hair was long, and wavy. Her hair was now much like his. Did this mean she would now have to develop an affinity for grease? He used too much oil on his hair, and perhaps if he washed it, and wear his hair without gels, or grease it could be very attractive. Did this mean that she would become better at potions? No, she thought with a slight smile. It was foolish to think that just because her father was Severus that it meant she would automatically be great at potions. If anything like that were possible that would mean there was hope for Neville yet. One day he might inherit his parents' bravery, and become more adjusted. Her friend frequently reminded her of someone that would not be comfortable even in their own clothing.
Harri's reverie would not go any further however, when Dumbledore decided upon that time to enter their common room. He smiled at the two young Gryffindors, while his eyes sparkled with delight. Harri was not pleased with him still, but he had gone out of the way to be accommodating to she and Draco.
"Just the two young ladies I have been looking for. We have finally harvested enough sand to send you and young Draco back to the future. Now, if you'll be so kind as to come with me, we may begin."
"Alright sir, it'll just be a moment. I wanted to gather the things my Mum gave me. Will that be alright?"
He smiled at them once more, before sweeping out of the room as silently as he came. Lily took Harri's hand, and led her to the fifth year dorms she shared with her peers. Lily peeked through the room, performing spells that had silencing charms, and sneak-o-scopes about. When she felt sure that they were truly alone, she plopped on her bed with a sigh of relief. Harri sat across from her, on another student's bed, gazing at her mother concernedly.
"Mum? Are you okay? What are we doing up here?"
Lily smiled, bringing out a wooden chest the size of a small desk. She lifted it upon the bed, and began rummaging through it hurriedly. After a few moments, she pulled out something fuzzy and oddly shaped. Smiling she laid it upon the bed next to her. She pulled out several more trinkets in a flurry. The last thing she pulled out was a small vial filled with red liquid.
"This everything that I've been meaning to give you since you arrived. I know it's not much, but I figured you could use something nice. After all, you deserve it."
She said placing the stuffed fuzzy bear into a small sack, which she then shrunk. Harri didn't know why her mother was acting this way, but it was beginning to make her very nervous.
"Mum, what's going on? Why are you acting like this?"
"Like what Jayda?"
"You're acting as if you'll-"
"Never see you again?"
Harri's eyes bulged. Had her mother found anything out? She had better school her face, and feign ignorance. She stared her mother in the eye, with renewed courage. She couldn't afford for her mother to learn the awful truth.
"N-No of course not Mum. I just wanted to know why you're giving me all these things. I don't need them when I have them at home."
Lily frowned, as her deep green eyes became misty. She felt a glowing feeling of pride swell within at her, at her daughter's own bravery. Lily knew Jayda wouldn't want for her to know of her future, and Lily didn't know much but she knew enough to know when her feelings were being spared.
"You don't have to pretend anymore Jayda. I don't know everything, but I know I'll die."
"W-What makes you think that Mum?"
"I've seen it myself, although I am confident that we'll be together again. I just wanted you to have a few things of mine so you won't feel completely alone. Don't ask me how I know all this, because I myself am not exactly clear. I do have one request though…"
"Anything."
Harri said, willing to agree to whatever her mother asked of her right then.
"I want you to keep this vial. It may come in handy one day. The contents could one day very well save your life, or that of a loved one. Just remember as long as you have this vial you have a part of me. Inside I cut a lock of my hair, but it is a red as the blood, so you probably can't see it."
"I don't understand."
Harri said quietly. Lily smiled at her gently.
"I know you don't, but you one day you will. You'll know when it must be used."
"I love you Mum."
"I love you too, Jayda."
They exited the room together, with bright smiles upon their faces.
********
Severus felt his body relax as he sank into a plush chair. Today had been a grueling day, and he knew that if he continued to push himself this way, he would eventually burn out. Swallowing his cognac slowly, he thought about his current predicament. Harri had yet to return to the present, and he felt as if he'd never see her again. Never had he imagined that there would come a day when he would actually miss her. Over the years she had become more of a nuisance. She had been nothing to him but a painful reminder of his lost love, but now instead of her presence making him feel sorrow, the idea of her gave him hope. Hope now came in the form of a newly improved form of the Time-Warp Potion that he had developed with Lupin and Black. Severus knew the danger he faced traveling backwards through time, but he could not allow students he were responsible for be lost forever.
Narcissa would never forgive him if he did nothing. Though she liked to pretend that she was loyal to the Dark side, and that she would serve her Lord Voldemort, Severus knew that the choice had never been given to her. She like many others had been forced into servitude simply because of their families. How Narcissa, someone he would even venture to call a friend could be led astray by Lucius, he'd never understand. Nothing worthwhile came from their union with the exception of Draco. Though he was forced to favor the boy, and the fact that Draco was spoiled, he still knew the boy could be saved yet. Perhaps, Harri would be the one to do so. Though the young man might not realize it, there were choices available to him.
Draco was forced into a life of believing he was better than others. After years of soaking that information up, of being conditioned to believe that anyone different than he was below him, Severus knew that if somehow he could be shown the truth of such matters, there would still be a long road ahead of him. He relaxed against the stiff back of the chair, thinking of them both. What would become of them? Could they possibly work together, without harming the other? He frowned harshly, disgusted with the thoughts of his daughter were leading him. He went to his private stores, taking out a book that had been plaguing his mind for sometime.
Somewhere, hidden in the texts of the Gnostics of the Light and Dark Magics he could find the secret answers to his troublesome questions. Though he hadn't had a private meeting with his former master, through Narcissa he knew that Lucius would come looking for the book. For the life of him, he couldn't discern what made this book so different from any other knowledgeable. It gave information about the various ways to implement hexes, be they dark or light. Now that he had researched the book thoroughly, Severus had discovered why Voldemort coveted Harri's power so much. It was because of her providential conception that she possessed desirable powers. No one knew the extent these powers reached, but he knew it was enough to have the girl killed.
Yet, if Voldemort were planning a new scheme to have her killed, Severus would have been in the thick of things. As it were, he had not been privy to such knowledge as of late. Now he was only left to conclude that Voldemort wanted her for more sinister purposes. He wanted to use her for something, to bring about something but what? Gnostics of the Light and Dark Magic was a very general book that did not go into detailed description. Severus slammed his fist against the table, allowing his forgotten glass to fall. He searched the book for any reference to familial heritage. He found nothing, but consulted the one person he knew that could make use of what he had been reading. Severus headed for Sybil Trelawney's tower.
Though he had never outright despised the woman like McGonagall had, he still wanted to consult her. Everyone knew the women was a genuine hack, and on the few occasions that she had a prophecy occur in her favor. Given the information he planned to provide, he hoped he could somehow jar her mind to awake at what he would present. He walked briskly through the darkened hallways. It was late, and he knew he'd find no students out of bed now that the Weasley twins were up in their own tower. Sybil wasn't known for leaving her tower, save for the necessity of food and drink. He only hoped that somehow he could induce her 'sight'.
By the time he arrived at her tower, he hadn't realized how late it was. Had he really been walking that slowly? Clearing his throat, he knocked once, arms crossed, with the book in his left hand. She answered the door with a bewildered look. Her eyes were slightly gazed, but she opened the door for him, yawning tiredly as she did so. Gesturing for him to take a seat, he sat rather uncomfortably, upon a paisley loveseat. He crossed his legs, giving her his best no-nonsense glare, before speaking in the deepest gravelly voice he could muster. Conjuring up a bit of tea, he drank from it slowly, watching her quietly. She looked upset at being awaken at an ungodly hour.
"Sybil, I have come to request your assistance. I was wondering if you could look at a particular passage in a book I am about to show you. I realize that the time is rather inconvenient but this is a pressing matter."
Sybil gave Severus a hard pensive look, wondering why the devil he would come to her of all people. A sour face marred her wrinkled features, while began making a glass of tea for herself, and following his suit, drank from it unhurriedly.
"Pray tell what would I receive for offering my services Severus?"
So the game began. Among the staff this was a common game to play. He liked to call it Hogwarts Poker, in honor of the muggle card game. Whenever a favor was offered between the staff, the few less reputable took it upon themselves to charge a fee of sorts for help. They both knew that he had helped her many times when she had been called upon for her serious lacking in her level of expertise. She had come many times asking for his help, and he did so, because he knew that one day, on the slight chance he may need it, her help would be given. He had brewed on more than one occasion a potion that gave her brief glimpses of multiple futures yet to pass. It had been enough to sustain her employment. The only reason she was even still a member of the staff was because Dumbledore took pity upon the great Cassandra Trelawney's grandniece. She had managed to accurately prophesize on a few occasions.
"Let's just say that I have come to hold you to one of your promises made to me. I'd like for you to just read this passage, and let me know if you can see a glimpse..."
She sat her tea down, and drumming her long thin fingers against the plush cushions of her couch.
"Are you going to tell me what I am supposed to be looking for?"
Severus smirked knowingly. He placed the book in front of her, on the exact page, with the passage highlighted. She flipped the cover over to see the name of the book, he had already charmed the cover and the other passages of the book to be blank, incase she stumbled upon something she had no business knowing. He had taken a risk by letting her view the material at all, but if his suspicions were correct then visiting her would have been worth the risk.
"That's your job Sybil."
He sat back down, watching her silently, as she read the passage quietly. When it looked as if she had finished, he reached for the book, and she in turn reached for his hand. Her eyes were glassy now, and she looked to be in a catatonic trance. With a deep scratchy voice, that did not belong to her she spoke barely above a whisper. Next to him, he had a piece of parchment, with a Qwik Quotes quill ready to copy down whatever she spoke.
"Who hath discovered seers' secrets? Many answers that thou seek lie not in the body of this mortal's flesh. Thou shall know what may be revealed. When the moon bleeds crimson, the Dragon shall wound its mate. On the eleventh new moon the Seventh shall die but be reborn. The second to last may wallow thither in dark magic, lest the myth of a female courier of luck and speed intercede. The canine brethren shall defend those not worthy to be peasants, but 'tis for naught. A mother's sacrifice shall be rewarded. Beware those of with hair spun golden."
Severus watched shocked, as he eyes returned to normal, and her usual odd grin returned to her face. She was out of sorts, and then he knew she had no idea that she had just prophesized. She looked to her hand, still firmly attached to his arm, and at the book resting in her lap. Cocking her head to side bewilderedly she handed the book back to him. He took it, averting his eyes from her piercing gaze.
"I don't sense anything from
this artifact. Are you this is the right book you wanted me to take a look at?"
"That's fine. I don't think that I shall need your services any longer Sybil. Goodnight."
He said ushering himself out of her rooms. He clutched the book in his hands tightly. He was astonished at the power bestowed upon that book. Never in all his life had heard that even those with the barest traces of sight see into a glimpse of a future yet to come. How potent the spells must be inside that book! What could what she said possibly mean? The Seventh was obviously Harri, and Draco was of course the Dragon, but who was the second to last? Who were the canine brethren, the peasants, and whose mother would make a sacrifice? There were so many people with golden hair, that it might take awhile to narrow his search.
He returned to his won chambers, and prepared for bed. He said a silent prayer to whatever god would have him for the safe return of his students. So far he knew that something would happen as the moon lost its silver shade, and turned red. On this night, Draco, or (perhaps there was more than one Draco in the wizard community) would hurt its mate. Of course that idea didn't float too well. Maybe he was taking what Trelawney said out of context. Quite possibly a live dragon would wound its mate. He had read the Qwik Quotes five times already, and the d in dragon had been capitalized. Had Trelawney been referring to an animal, the word would have been lowercase. This word was meant to be used as a nickname.
With Severus' own experience with prophecies, he knew that they weren't meant to be too revealing nor too mysterious. Whoever authored the book to charm Trelawney had meant to make it a riddle for the persons listening to solve. Figuratively, whomever Draco considered to be his mate would be injured by his hand. So far the riddle was unraveling. An eleventh moon meant the new moon in November, Harri—the Seventh would die, but be reborn. He shuddered at the thought of her death. Some of the riddle was figurative, and some parts were literal that he wanted to be exactly right so he didn't make any mistakes. Who was second to last? He didn't understand that portion of the riddle at all because he had no idea who the courier of luck and speed was. He would need to research further into myths. There was something odd about the last bit, and he and a feeling he wouldn't like the connection.
**********
Draco watched as Harri entered Dumbledore's office with her mother in tow. She gave him a slight smile, which did not go unnoticed by Lucius or Severus. She wondered why no one questioned her father's presence. Surely they would realize that she never told them that she was related to Severus in anyway. Perhaps they believed he was there to witness their spectacular departure. Harri gave her father a slight nod, as they had said their proper goodbyes the night before. Dumbledore instructed them to stand side by side, with the hourglasses held upright. They would have to flip them over at the exact same time. Around them, a chain was wrapped. If Harri didn't know better, she'd say this was nothing short of a primitive time turner. The two artifacts looked very much alike. Harri avoided Draco's gaze, and instead focused her attention on the others in the room.
"I'm going to use the obliviate in a moment. Why don't the two of you say your goodbyes first?"
He asked them considerately. Harri wondered if Fawkes had begun his machinations of Headmaster yet. The last time she saw McGonagall, the older woman appeared and acted as normal. Would everything be the way it once was when she and Draco returned? She looked at Draco who looked to be nonplussed. Then again, he could more to lose than she when they returned from the past, and Draco's father learned that she was still alive. He would be disappointed that Draco hadn't killed when he had first chance. Instead, he had saved her life on two separate occasions.
"It has already been taken care of Professor."
Draco said, smiling warmly at his mother. Harri and Draco shared a pointed look as if they were half expecting Fawkes to start squawking, and begin explain everything that had happened in time. They finally agreed it was the bird's doing, and vowed to communicate with Dumbledore's familiar as soon as they got back from the past. Fawkes had done very well by sending them to the past to learn of the animagi. Harri felt confident in her ability to transform into an animagus at will. They had been forbidden to discuss the creatures that they changed into, but they had the power now. A flicker of worry passed through her. What if Draco sold her out to Voldemort? Although he had no idea what she could change into, he could still sell her down the river by telling Voldemort that she was one now. After all they had been through together, he wouldn't dare betray her would he? She felt guilty for thinking of him like that, but he was still a Slytherin. She knew better than to judge, but from past experiences with him in particular, he had never proven worthy of her trust.
Suddenly, Harri felt nervous and self conscious. Why had these emotions decided to evoke themselves now, when she was ready to feel good about leaving the past? While she had been happy, out of the blue, she felt as if when she was returned the world would be watching. She would be denied her privacy yet again, and she and Draco would probably never be able to enjoy the pleasures of seclusion. Though they had spent most of their time talking, or simply doing what young men and women their ages did, they never approached issue of his father, or Sirius, Hermione, and Ron. If they did mention them, it was a casual reference. Their inability to talk about such things out in the open made her feel pathetic. Yet, it was because of their tendency to wander away from such awkward topics, that they were able to get along anyway. Perhaps there was more to their strange rapport than meaningful conversations. Fawkes' confidence in Draco made things about him easier to accept.
Dumbledore waved his wand confidently. Draco watched transfixed as beautiful colors of the four houses of Hogwarts escaped from his wand, floating over to their hourglasses. She felt what could only be described as an electric shock pulse around her. She smiled at her mother for what she believed would be the last time, despite her mother's confession. Instinctively she reached for Draco's hand, causing her nervousness to crumble only slightly. The warmth that emanated from his hand brought a smile upon her face. The confidence she felt around him gave her hope as well. They would return safely, she was sure of it. She was strong, but lately she felt as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. Being fifteen years old, and under the constant scrutiny of a corrupt ministry made her angry. Why couldn't she be normal like everyone else?
Once again, the familiar feeling of being ripped into tiny pieces and put back together again emerged. She was disappearing again, just like before. Locking eyes with Draco, she prayed they returned safely. Harri wondered if Draco could see anything. They were no longer in a room, as they had now been surrounded by nothing. She couldn't feel him next to her anymore. Her body felt hot, but she was so cold. Neither had expected their return to be so painful. Soon the fragmented particles that were once her flesh dissipated, while Harri succumbed to darkness again. The last thing she felt was searing pain against her right arm, before blissful oblivion took over.
Footnotes: That is all. I hope you all enjoyed this installment. I'm trying to do my best, and the feedback has been phenomenal. You guys rock my socks! In the next chapter, Harri and Draco's triumphant (or not) return. Remus finds a valuable document that James left, Sirius meets an old friend, and Narcissa Malfoy has had enough! I don't wan to give too much away, but things will begin to look up for Harri and Severus. Also, enter brooding!Hagrid, and elated!Hermione, and bittertruth!Ron. One more thing, do you all think I stop at their fifth year, or write through their last year and/or beyond? That's all the previews I have for this chapter. Now could I have the honor of your reviews?
-Shanni