Fat, heavy clouds hung menacingly over Konoha's dark landscape, blotting out the dim light of the moon and threatening to pour their contents at any second. Sasuke watched their reflections pass by on the water's surface with eyes half-closed, pupils staring at some unseen point deep down past visibility. His feet, naked of their usual rubber black sandals, created ripples with their rhythmic, swirling patterns. He noted dully that his toenails were still black. The aluminum dock just outside the Uchiha Compound was bitterly cold and wet with early morning dew, but Sasuke let his clothes absorb the moisture, only faintly aware that his skin was growing goosebumps.
The sun would rise in about an hour, but so far there wasn't any sign of it. Not that Sasuke would have noticed. He was preoccupied with the all-too-familiar face staring up at him: long, greasy black hair shrouded a face of deathly pale like a cloak to offset the pair of murderous eyes. Stress lines and a fixed frown, hard jaw that was nonetheless smooth and round. A beautiful face, just like any Uchiha should have.
"Hate me." It whispered, though its lips never moved. "Loathe me. If you want to survive…" The reflection blinked and tilted its head to one side. "Cling to life, like the coward you are." It hissed bitterly through a choke of tears. A drop of salt water trailed down his face and through his parted lips, from which malicious curses and threats were pouring out, and Sasuke realized he was talking to himself.
The reflection wavered slightly to reveal what he had feared. The face he thought was his brother's was actually his own; tear-stained and filthy, with bags under the eyes and a scowl painted on just below the nose.
Sasuke kicked the water violently, tensing his arms and pushing himself forward slightly, as if he actually planned on jumping in. It was the same as when he was young. The face on the water, Itachi's words, the feeling of betrayal, resentment, and finally, revenge. It was sad, that a child so young could understand these emotions. One moment feeling safe and secure, the next empty and defenseless. It would have been the same if he had achieved his childhood dream of becoming a police officer, only to find the station had closed down in favor of regular ninja.
His dreams were so silly back then. Just a little pup, fresh out of the mint, innocent to the world and its torments. Now they were more practical, he was sure. Revenge and Rebirth. It would happen, too. Not like that police crap. It had to. Without it, he had no drive, no motivation. Without it, he was just a clever little asshole.
He did push himself off the dock, not even realizing at first and finding himself gasping for air. He steadied, and lie back on the icy water. Pretty little lights danced before his eyes, twinkling on and off under the sky with playful ease. Sasuke wanted to reach out and touch one, but his hand had lost the will to move, and lie motionless next to him.
"Firefly." He burst out, louder than he knew. The little yellow light went out, and the boy's eyes floated past to the clouds above. Clouds. It would rain again soon. Sasuke hated rain. He hated all weather. It could be the perfect temperature, but after training it would be too hot, and if it was too hot to begin with then there wasn't any hope of it getting better. When it was too cold, at least it would warm up if he moved around, but when it rained, he couldn't do anything. It was hard to work when it was wet. He sat at the temple when it rained, to listen to the bamboo chutes tap against each other in the garden. But nothing was ever accomplished on rainy days. He supposed he would never kill anyone on a rainy day. He hated them, just as much as he hated the sun for being so warm, and the moon for not giving off enough light. He hated them all.
One hand mindlessly paddled back and forth, spinning his body round in circles. Water filled Sasuke's ears, and he could hear the blood pounding inside his head. Short black hair, meticulously kept, spread about his head and mixed with the darkness of the water so it looked like he was growing out of it, or being pulled in.
The painted black toenails curled and uncurled themselves under the surface, afraid that they might perhaps turn blue.
What would they think of you? The harsh voice echoed in his ears, distorted and muffled by the water. Sitting in a puddle of your brother's cosmetics? What would they think of you? And the thing was, he was actually concerned. But why should he care about what other's thought of him? He ignored girls' ridiculous attempts to flirt with him, he shied away from conversation, and made sure to point out the short-comings of others, so what should their opinions mean to him? Was it… something deeper?
"Father?" Sasuke stepped cautiously into the room where his father stood, smoothing the wrinkles on his stiff police uniform.
"Yes, Sasuke?" He didn't bother to look away from the mirror.
"Um… all our family are ninja, right?"
"Not all Uchiha are, no, but you will be." He said so dispassionately, not encouraging, but more as an obvious fact. Like it was fate, and there was no way to escape.
"Will… will I be as good as Itachi?" The little boy looked up at his father, wide-eyed and full of hope. Fugaku turned to his son for the first time. His face was stern. The deep-set lines around the corners of his mouth dug further into his face. He looked almost disgusted.
"You're still too young to know yet."
"I hope I am!" The boy smiled, following his father out of the room.
"I hope," Fugaku grabbed his coat and headed for the door. "You become a fine ninja, Sasuke."
Sasuke stuck his tummy back up, the rush of memory nearly causing him to forget he was floating. Floating. It felt good. He wished he could do it all the time. He wished he didn't have to deal with people, with memories, none of that. He wished that if something started to bother him, he could just float on up to the clouds. Those big, stupid clouds above the weather of the world.
"Will I be as good as Itachi?" He muttered to himself as the first drops of rain splashed against the water. One got in his eye, and he pulled a hand out of the icy pond to rub at it. It was weird. From where he was, looking up at the bluish gray sky of dawn, it didn't look like the rain would hit him. It looked like it started from the sky and spread out, just to avoid his pretty face. Sasuke stuck out his tongue and waited for a drop to land there. He wondered if Kakashi would still come if it was raining. Then again, maybe he'd imagined the note, like he'd been doing a lot of things lately. He was losing his mind, after all. He'd have to keep an eye on that. It could be dangerous.
Sasuke's tongue flinched as the soft 'pat' of moisture fell against it, and he immediately drew it in to find a taste. It tasted bland, like it was clear, almost. It was that taste you get in your mouth after sucking in a big gust of wind, or when you stand with it open during a real storm. Sasuke imagined it was what the sky tasted like. Maybe the rain took little pieces of the sky with it as it fell. So then the sky was falling. How long could this go on before the whole thing collapsed? How much time did he really have? Would he…die before he was finished? He didn't want to die, not ever. He would live: He had to.
"Swimming, Sasuke?" Sasuke pulled his head out of the water and whirled around to face the voice. His teacher stood at the end of the dock, one hand in his pocket and the other holding an umbrella over his head. "That's probably not a good idea. I heard there was supposed to be lightning."