Author's Notes: I apologize for the lateness of this chapter, but I had writer's block. I was stuck, but I am now free again! I now shall right a terrible wrong! I forgot to thank BD for reviewing the last chapter. I apologize for my error. To make up for it, this chapter is especially long, and quickly updated! In the last chapter, Severus and Harri had a heart-to-heart, Draco went to Professor Lupin for help, Professor Umbridge made a grievous error, and Harri went to see her favorite dog-father! I want to thank the following for reviewing: BD, athenakitty, Chompekitas, Wyccegurl, Horsemaster1, Liviania, NeoAthena, Amy2k, sweetangel99, Mrs. Tom Riddle, Stefanorkle, and LyonsRoar! Once again, if apologies to BD. IF I miss your name let me know!
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter, but I'd like to see what's in Severus' potion stores!
More Than You Think You Are
Chapter Eighteen: Tell me why you gotta be so cold—How'd you get so high when you're keeping me low?!
If Pansy tried to kiss him one more time, Draco would have to do something drastic, like turn the girl into a hideous water sprite. He thought that the privacy of his single bedroom deep in the maze that made up the dungeons would offer him a respite from the annoying girl, but somehow she had wormed her way into his room. How had she managed that? Oh yes, she knocked on his door, visibly breathless mumbling some nonsense about missing him terribly, and that they never got any together time as of late. Before he could even slam the door against her face, she was already laying down on his bed. He didn't even bother asking her how she got into the boys dormitory. Pansy was Slytherin royalty and it didn't matter. Despite her personality, she was treated the same way he was. They were both worshipped, fending off offers to date students from rival houses. Things got annoying when she tried time and time again to seduce him. After the summer of their fourth year, she had gotten tired of 'waiting for him to come around' so she slept with Blaise Zabini.
Draco didn't really have anything against the Zabinis, but he got upset when the raven haired boy traipsed around the common room with the blond girl as if he were supposed to be jealous. As far as he was concerned, the two of them could have each other. She degraded herself before him, not caring that she was acting like a common trollop, and he ignored her advances, as usual. He was just fine ignoring the barely clad girl in his room, trying to read the books given to him by Lupin when suddenly she stopped her antics and snatched book from his hands. Normally, Draco considered himself to be a calm young man, hardly easy to rile up. In fact, there were only three people that could successfully get under his skin. His father, whom he disliked to no end, had the uncanny ability to degrade him and manage to compliment him at the same time. Draco had long since accepted that annoying habit. His mother, in all of her wise character could make him felt the guilt of his actions with ease. Potter, well she was just in a class of her own.
After a few more minutes of convincing the annoying girl to leave him alone, Draco escaped to his one refuge. The upscale guest prefect bedrooms that he and Potter slept in while in the past would provide privacy and elegance, a combination that he loved immensely. When he had finally been able to get a moment's peace, he jotted down the directions to the elusive hideaway. If there were a time that he needed to be alone and study, now was such a time. Pansy had lost track of him on the fourth moving stairwell. He now had a safe place to read without being discovered by anyone. Even Potter who was usually a welcome addition would be an unwanted distraction now. If he were going to protect himself and those around him, he needed to master the techniques in the books. The first book, although filled with the mundane diatribe of a textbook, was able to keep him interested because of the personal accounts found inside. Bestia Animus was very exhaustive in its exploration of a soul animal. Weighing in at over 1600 pages, the book had to be the definitive source on all things animagi related.
There was a section devoted completely to the dragon animagus, listing the various offshoots that the serpent belonged in. For instance, the breeds that he could transform into were all listed. The dragon he had become—a self containing strain was obviously not listed, but the only difference between his own dragon and more commonly found ones was that he happened to be pure white. His whiskers were silver, and his scales were silver. His eyes however, lost their silver hue to become a cerulean blue, that when exposed to light faded lighter. He could easily surmise that it was apart of his own defense mechanism. His ability to change his color, even slightly would be essential to his survival. So far, he had managed to drive away thoughts of bloodlust. Perhaps because it his first time transforming to protect life made him bloodthirsty. He could probably stave off bloodlust completely now that he knew what triggered his anger. The smell of other male dragons had angered him. He became protective of his belongings. This wasn't too surprising. Didn't all creatures protect what was rightfully theirs? Be it territory, children, or mates—no other creature was to threaten what was his.
But he had no territory to speak of, nothing that he would be willing to fight to protect. So why had he gone so far as to kill the dragons that lived inside of that fake Hogwarts? He dropped the textbook, ignoring the sound of a thick tome falling to the wooden floor. His eyes, formerly calculating were now wide with shock. Draco was willing to take much of what he discovered or what was told to him on faith, but the implications of this was just too much. It was unacceptable. To think that he considered Potter to be his mate when he was in dragon form was crazy. She wasn't even the same animagus species as him. Wasn't there something sick and wrong with that? So they were going out, so what! Did that mean that they were bonded eternally for the rest of their lives? He picked the book up from the floor, returning it to the bookshelf in his private chambers. Amazingly, the rooms till responded to the passwords he had given. There had been other visitors here, since the twenty years they spent in the past. Perhaps the guestrooms would always recognize previous guests. The portrait of the dragon and phoenix were still present. He frowned, unhappy with where his mind had taken him. Now was neither the time nor the place to ponder the trivialities of securities in a centuries old guestroom. Somehow though, he felt as if he may have been neglecting something very significant.
Leaving the books in a safe removable panel under the bed, Draco left for his scheduled practice with Professor Lupin. He was excited, partially out of fear, but also at the idea of doing something so secretive and dangerous. He found the werewolf instructor in the unused classroom they had claimed as their official practice space. He was already waiting; sipping what looked like gillyweed and onion. Draco grimaced at the sight, wafting the pungent odor out from under his nose. They began their exercises, which were completely different from conventional terms. Instead of practicing wand movements, or doing a warm up of attacks using a few well aimed spells, they dived right in. Starting with prompting him to transform, three life-size stuffed dragons were placed in front of him, all three giving off different scents which he instantly recognized. Professor Lupin had charmed them to fly about the room, and act just like any real dragon would. The smallest began to attack him, biting into his left forearm.
The sharp teeth of the creature felt like a brush with tiny needles. The sensation didn't really hurt—it was more of an annoyance if anything. The little bugger grabbed on to his arm and wouldn't let go. He was now the personal chomping bag of a medium sized dragon. He really didn't want to hurt the creature, so instead he aimed his fire breath at the serpent, intending to scare the other males off. The only problem he seemed to have was the inability to speak in the human tongue. His vocal cords could rumble and croak, which his dragon brethren could easily understand. They knew he was really a human because he had his own particular smell. According to Daeryn, the largest of the animated creatures, he couldn't tell Draco much. Because the true nature of the dragons was as an inanimate object, there wasn't much to learn from them. He made quick work of them, and they were once again returned to their normal forms.
Collapsing on the floor, his breathing was ragged. He changed back, drenching in sweat. He cast an annoyed glare towards his professor. The man was a sadist in every sense of the word. He seemed to enjoy sending attack after attack at him. What kind of man was this? How could he have been so stupid? He wobbled to his feet with all the grace of a drunken monkey.
"Professor what does this have to do with survival? Battling fake dragons and being attacked in dragon form with spells like that doesn't seem useful."
Damn it all, his back hurt! Professor Lupin was a slave driver. Of course the mild mannered man had no idea that his young pupil felt this way. The Slytherin in question glared at the back of the sandy haired, newly appointed muggle studies teacher with unmatched malice. How was it that he was in the situation? Draco cursed his stupidity. He had willingly subjected himself to such torture for what would become a daily basis. He truly wondered if he had been in his right mind the day he asked for help. As much as Draco wanted to gripe and complain, he needed this. Pain in this case was a good thing. Pain meant that he was pushing his limits, going farther than he had ever had before. Soon his body would adjust to the pain of transformation, as he tried to squeeze his long, heavy monstrous body inside one of Hogwarts many unused classrooms. The sting of the bite marks he had on his flesh, given to him by Professor Lupin who had attacked him with every single conjured animal he could think of caused him to be attentive of his surrounding. He would not make the same mistakes twice. So far, they had gotten past the basics. He was quizzed on the books contents relentlessly. He knew much more than he had before he approached his teacher, but that was to be expected. The man was definitely one of the best teachers that he had ever had.
"You need to be prepared young man. Be grateful I didn't use more painful curses. The bad news is that you are slow to react. Your body hasn't adjusted to the weight of its transformed self therefore you move ungracefully. Your attack style while crude, is not lacking in strength, you have an immensely powerful body, with few areas of weakness. Once you conquer the body you possess, you will move with elegant fluidity."
He turned to his pupil then, staring into his eyes. He silently wondered if what he just said had gotten through to the boy. It was imperative that the boy master his physique. He was dangerous with uncontrolled powers, even more so than Harri because his animal could be manipulated. Dragons were simple creatures when it came to the routine of their lives. Eat, sleep, mate, reproduce. Such was the life of the flying beasts. Draco needed to be taught to recognize his peers. He needed to be able to tell friend from foe. In his current condition, his training had barely broken the surface. Lupin wouldn't dare cross him when he was in angry in Dragon form. If someone was able to administer the Imperius curse on a dangerous animagus, he didn't dare think of what might happen.
"We will continue this practice later. You've had quite enough for one day. Why don't you give write me a report on the weaknesses of dragons, and their respective breeds. I think a foot and a half should do it."
Lupin enjoyed the incredulous look he received from his pupil. The silly boy was really naïve to not expect any homework out of him. Draco nodded meekly, obviously biting his tongue. He escorted Draco from the classroom, proud of his blonde student nevertheless. All the boy really needed was encouragement. Perhaps then he would be more accepting of his teaching techniques.
"I enjoyed spending time with you there Sirius. You were a different person then—not that I don't love the person you are now. It's just seeing you so happy, made me in turn."
Harri said shyly, fiddling with the lapels of her robe. For some reason she was slightly embarrassed recalling events from the past. She was nervous for some ridiculous reason or another. She really didn't know why, but she felt awkward discussing his teenage behavior with her. He would remember certain things, but when trying to recall her presence his mind fogged. Of one thing she was certain. Fawkes had done an excellent job oblivating everyone.
"I wish I could say that I remember it all, but I am glad that you had fun. I just wish that I could share those memories with you, Harri. It would have been nice to have known you in my youth."
Sirius said smiling down at his goddaughter. They had escaped to Remus' private chambers so that he could be freed, if momentarily from his canine form. Sitting in comfortable silence, they enjoyed each other's company. The routine was an old one, but they both performed it diligently none the less. Harri would simply sit with him, saying nothing but enjoying his presence anyway. It wasn't until they both were perfectly comfortable would their conversation truly begin. She turned to her godfather, passing him a chocolate frog. As they chewed in silence, both thought of what to say next. Suddenly, Harri smiled.
"It's my turn. It's my turn to say something. You flirted with my mother constantly. Although everybody knows that you had a crush on Molly Weasley!"
Sirius suddenly turned red in the face, from either shock or anger, perhaps both. He jumped from his seat, pointing a bony finger at her accusingly. She bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing too loudly. He stomped around the living room, kicking at the carpet in annoyance. Suddenly her turned to face is goddaughter with a smug, triumphant look.
"M-Molly Weasley was already married and pregnant with Bill Weasley when I was fifteen! That's like saying that I liked my cousin or something. Gross, Harri, simply gross."
Harri nudged her godfather playfully, showing that she was just kidding around. Sirius however, was not about to let a deed such as hers go unpunished. He grabbed her head, giving her already wild hair a horrible cause of bed-head. Not only that, but he also gave her one heck of a noogie.
"I am sorry dogfather. I promise to never go against the family again."
Sirius frowned at her poorly performed imitation of Marlon Brando. The girl must have seen the film at Hermione's house or something. He also didn't like that she had just called him the same annoying name that Snape tended to use. Was he losing her already? Perhaps there was more for him to learn concerning his only goddaughter. He hopped upon the desk again, crossing his arms in anticipation of what she would say next. Hopefully she didn't have anything too embarrassing about him, or else he'd have to do something to silence. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. The very thought of bribing Harri was ridiculous.
"Well, I didn't find anything too juicy, but why didn't you tell me that Mom was a rabid Beatles fan? I swear my mother continuously played I Want to Hold Your Hand every time I visited her. But you were even worse, Sirius."
Harri smirked when she saw the red hot blush grace his lips.
"Well back then, the Beatles and just about every cool rock group were huge then! What do you expect anyway, after the band's breakup Lily remained loyal till the end! Besides, how could not like Hendrix is beyond me. Music was different then. Muggle music was much better than the magical bands during the seventies."
Harri shrugged agreeing silently. It really was a moot point. Music appealed to different audiences, and perhaps she should listen to this Hendrix person. Maybe Hermione could get her the record or something. Shaking her head to clear her mind of such frivolous thoughts, her mind drifted back to the issue at hand. Wasn't she supposed to be cheering him up, reminding him of the good times that she had shared with him? They had bonded well enough, but the younger Sirius had treated her more like a temporary crush, who flirted shamelessly. Thankfully, her mother had stopped that behavior quickly enough. Still though, it was always nice to know someone thought you were beautiful, even if it was her future godfather.
"I still don't understand something, Sirius. Why didn't anyone you tell me about my mother and Professor Snape? I know you knew they were married. Were you trying to protect me? I know that there wasn't much you could have done while you were in Azkaban, and the you probably didn't want me to get my feelings hurt if you would have told me in third year—but you didn't say anything when my true parentage was revealed. You wanted to deny it."
Sirius' smile immediately turned sour. Harri sighed deeply, hoping that she hadn't offended her godfather, but she wanted to know why everyone was keeping things from her. She could see his shoulder slump, and his demeanor was noticeably depressed. She didn't want to share negative memories with him, but she couldn't think of a way to broach the subject. She loved Sirius very much, but even he had kept something she had a right to know about for years. Of course, in her mind she had failed to consider that perhaps Sirius thought that James really was her father. They looked just alike due to the glamour. Was it really fair for her to be so upset with him?
At the time, she and her father had not gotten along. They both practically despised one another. So even if he did know, why would he want to subject her to such heartbreak? Would Harri have believed him anyway? She probably would have hated him for even suggesting such a thing. Rather, she would have at least been very offended. She felt like such a heel. To trample on the feelings of someone who clearly loved her so much made her feel like the worst git in the world. Tears began to streak down her face. Here she had come to him; in hopes of cheering him up, keeping him out of a depressing stupor when all she had managed to accomplish was make them both feel worse.
Harri wanted to reach out to him, to take his hand in her own and apologize immensely. His expression was blank, but she could tell because of his eyes that her words wounded him. Oh, if only she could go back and stop herself from saying such a careless thing. How could she be so self centered. Sure, she wanted to be treated with respect, but wasn't she? Wasn't she revered by a nation? She realized that her selfish blunder may have cost her the love and respect of a godfather. Afraid to look him in the eye, Harri backed away. How could she face him now? Would Sirius still care about her now? Would he continue to be a champion of her feelings now that she had trampled over his?
"I'm s-sorry Sirius. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it! Please don't hate me."
Harri fervently stressed as she clung to his hand as if it were a sacred lifeline. Sirius' breath drew in so deeply Harri could have sworn he was having a panic attack. He swept her in his arms, patting her hair gently. He shook his head furiously as he pulled from their embrace. His hands her arms in place, as he looked down at the girl he viewed as his own flesh and blood. How could she be so blind? Had years of living with the Dursleys really destroy her self esteem to this extent?
"Never say that. You are my goddaughter, and you do have a right to know. I forgive that you hadn't really thought about the implications of what you've said. It's understandable, but I don't want you to ever assume that I'll hate you—no matter what you ask me. I didn't say anything because I could have been wrong, and I didn't want to hurt you because I love you."
Sirius cooed trying to soothe the girl. Of one thing he was certain; by sending Harri to live with those awful muggles her sense of value and self worth were nearly destroyed. Just when he began to think that perhaps she could finally see what a wonderful young woman she was, revelations of her own destiny and heritage hit her right in the face. No one should have to deal with that, especially someone so young. How could she believe that something so trivial would destroy the relationship they had built as family? If he was having this many problems in dealing with her, for once in his life, Sirius felt sympathy for Snape. How would he deal with the angst of a teenage girl, when he barely survived being a teenager? He was going to have to speak with Snape eventually so that they could discuss what could be done to cheer the girl up. Lately, her moodiness had made her uncertain of herself. Her confidence appeared to be on the wane, despite the new powers she had received. His goddaughter was quite the enigma indeed.
"I apologize for my behavior, Sirius. Lately, I've been so wound up about everything. I still haven't caught up in Potions and Professor Umbridge seems to hate me. I also haven't begun practicing with Fawkes on controlling my magical aura, although Fawkes said he was sending for help. I'm having weird dreams, Ron's ignoring me, and Hermione doesn't understand. The only thing that seems to being going right in my life is my relationships with you, Dad, Professor Lupin, and Dr—"
Harri stopped herself, nearly biting her lower lip in half in the process. Did she just almost blab about her secret relationship with Draco in front of Sirius?! Ignoring the pain of her bleeding lip, she looked at him through lidded eyes. If the situation had been different, she might have found Sirius' facial expression funny, if not amusing. The shock of such an admission was clearly on his face. He looked in between hurt, and disappointed. She couldn't afford to have him go ballistic at a time like this. She suspected that her father had an inkling of a notion that she was in fact seeing her rival. To Sirius this would probably be seen as traitorous; both to Gryffindors and to him.
"Did you just admit to seeing Malfoy? Harri, whatever little fascination that you have with Malfoy is just that: a fascination. Don't be fooled into thinking that Malfoys are trustworthy. Like father like son."
He said crossing his arms irritably as if to signal the end of that conversation. Harri rolled her eyes at his adamant prejudice. If she based her principles on such loose logic as that, the same could be said about him. Hadn't he been the bad seed in his family? Their eventual alienation of him was because he went against the status quo. Draco wasn't exactly a saint, but he was trying to change. He was still an elitist, but she hadn't heard him refer to Hermione a mud-blood in weeks! Surely he his willingness to change at such lengths was worthy of something wasn't it?
"That's not very fair is it Sirius? You were judged the same way by Bellatrix and the rest of your cousins. Don't you think it is unfair to make generalizations like that? You know firsthand that to do so is far from fair. I think I might like Draco. Do you think that you could refrain from attacking him?"
Sirius bellowed a hearty laugh, shaking the hand of the girl before him.
"I think we can work something out. Besides, Snuffles might not be so forgiving."
After careful research, Severus managed to decipher some of the prophecy that Trelawney had made. Harri's best friends, Weasley and Granger were major players in the divination instructor's prediction. He started his search by figuring out that the two closest people to Harri would be the second to last, while the messenger of luck and speed was a reference to the Greek God Hermes. The name Hermione was a feminine form of Hermes. He knew enough about Greek mythology to know that the messenger God Hermes was cunning and Granger was exceptionally so. The second to last seemed to be a reference to the Weasley clan. Ron Weasley was the sixth of seven children, and if what Trelawney said rang true, he would most definitely have to watch the boy cautiously. What possess the boy to be swayed, even if temporarily to the path of evil? Trelawney also said that when the moon bleeds crimson, the Dragon would wound its mate. The dragon was a reference to Draco, obviously, but who was the boy's mate? He had his suspicions but he was not yet ready to address them. The part about wounding the dragon wounding his mate is very vague. Wounding could mean hurt feelings, or harsh words. The term wounding didn't necessarily pertain to physical injury. Still, he would need to remain alert if he were going to solve this conundrum. The entire message was highly suspect, but it was his closest lead. Severus would not tell the Headmaster his doubts. Harri was more of a means to an end to the old man, far from being an actual person with feelings. He couldn't just keep this information to himself either. Granted, he would need help if he was going to prevent any of this from happening, but he was smart enough to realize that prophecies couldn't be altered.
Severus was stuck at an impasse. No one could alter fate, but that didn't mean he couldn't save the people he knew where in danger. What kind of man would he be if he couldn't even do what was right? As much as Severus liked to think so, he was not an amoral man. Inside his soul there was a heart that bled, like everyone else. To sit back and watch people's lives being destroyed was heinous. No man could believe himself to be invincible from retribution. He had benefited from the kindness of others, and to remain in the good graces of whatever deity created man was not something he wished to stray from. When Trelawney's prophecy came down to the gist of things, everything was a matter of interpretation. According to her, Ron would be tempted to follow the path of darkness—of evil, unless Hermione intervened. Yet, what was she expected to do exactly? Who were canine brethren? The most likely suspects were Lupin and Black. Both could change into members of the canine family. Yet, who would they defend that was not worthy to even be a peasant? Moreover, even if they do defend such a person, it will be futile, according to what he recorded. Also what mother's sacrifice would be rewarded? What was done to warrant recompense? Lastly, those with hair spun golden did nothing but broaden his search? There were many untrustworthy blondes that Severus suspected. Lucius Malfoy and Peter Pettigrew were at the top of his list, and he didn't count Draco because he trusted the boy. Or perhaps the message was a warning to suspect all blondes, whether they were in his confidence or not. He would need to take this information to Lupin and Black, though he'd rather not tell them at all. However all of this information would have to be kept from Harri. She was unstable emotionally at the moment, and anymore news of prophecies surrounding her life would do nothing but depress the girl further.
So what did all of this mean? Sometime later in the month, the moon would be as red as blood. During this time all that was prophesied would come into play. What would happen first? Was there a particular order in which things would fall apart? Was there some organization to the chaos that would befall them all? Severus frowned, disliking how quickly his mind could wander. He would simply have to take a set path and follow it. There could be no second guessing himself this late in the game.
"Whatever happens shall happen."
He muttered aloud with the reserve of man who was decided about the decisions he made in his life. There were only two people he could trust this information with. Two people, one which he could barely tolerate, and the other whom he loathed were his only options at the moment. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were his obvious choices because of their closeness with Harri, and the willingness they had in protecting the girl. They would both go as far as to keep secrets from Dumbledore if it was in the name of the girl's safety. He admired that trait in both men though he would never admit it to either of them.
Black, in his mutt form could keep a close eye on the Weasley boy. He would feel much safer if he knew that there were steps being taken to ensure his daughter's safety. Dumbledore was useless in that effect. The old man insisted on 'staying the course' as opposed to preparing the girl for real world battle experience. A wizard is nothing if he is defenseless. So far, she could barley hide the mysterious multicolored aura that was her magical signature. Severus neglected to tell her that she melted all of the candles in his room, and caused the fresh juice he had to sour. When she had been yelling at him, he also noticed that her camouflage fell. Apparently, whenever Harri became angry or scared; when she was at her most emotional, her magic was uncontrollable. The very heat that emanated from her body had caused burns in his shag carpet. Her gifts, while exceptional were nevertheless dangerous in the body of a wild, moody, teenage girl. She needed to learn to keep herself in check, or others would face the consequences.
"The bloody girl will be killed with that kind of power. I can't believe Dumbledore wants to use her for the Mother Root spell. This is clearly the work of a man that has succumbed to senility."
Severus opined while mixing the ingredients for Lupin's monthly Wolf's Bane potion. He neglected to close his classroom door, which allowed his comment to filter out into the hallway.
"I hadn't realized that I have been the subject of your thoughts most recently."
The headmaster replied, ignoring the annoyed glare his Potions Master sent his way. Severus resisted the urge to say something bitingly rude in retort. This man was his employer, and he'd kept him out of Azkaban. Even if they could not presently see eye to eye, he would attempt cordiality.
"Severus I am come to ask if you've made any progress with Harri as of late?"
Severus' back became stiffly straight. He knew damn well why the old man came. As much as he wanted to tell Dumbledore that it wasn't any of his business what kind of progress he was making with Harri. This was a family matter, and Dumbledore did not qualify as family at all. He was intruding upon their private and daily lives, and despite being a member of the Order, he was entitled to privacy. Smirking at the older man, he through politeness to the wind.
"Not that it's any of your business, but yes I have. Harri isn't enthusiastic about the Mother Root Spell either."
He lied smoothly, with practiced ease he had developed over the years due to his frequent espionage. Dumbledore couldn't know what he had planned, or he'd use Harri. He would have to keep Lily's return clandestine. Only Lupin, Black, he, and Harri would be privy to such information. He couldn't allow Dumbledore's machination to prevent his family from finally being whole. For now, it was best to let Dumbledore believe that the Mother Root Spell required the caster to be a direct descendent of Godric Gryffindor. Harri was not anyone heir, at least not to his knowledge.
"I do wonder if wonder if the young lady is ready for such an endeavor. I would hate to have her hopes rise, only to have the spell fail. Although, if Lily predicted her own resurrection than I must trust in her judgment. I just wish this wasn't such a strain on Harri. She still needs to be trained to go against Voldemort."
Severus gripped his wand stiffly until his knuckles were white. Though he had been in service to the Dark Lord for decades now, hearing the tyrants name still caused a shiver to run down his back. The Dark Lord hadn't called him in nearly a month, and this caused him to worry. The last time he had spoken with anyone in the inner circle was when Lucius attempted to pilfer one of the copies of Gnostics of the Light and Dark. Severus had been unable to attain it, (or so he told Lucius) and he wondered what happened after that. Narcissa could possibly give him information about it, but he had to be careful. She may hate Lucius, but he still wasn't sure if she was a neutral party in war against Voldemort. He jarred his mind from such wanderings.
"One is never ready for war sir, as you are well aware. All we can do is try our best to properly train ourselves in these uncertain times, Headmaster. Black and I are trying to set aside our differences so that she will be well prepared. I'm sure while in the past they discovered their abilities, but Harri is too headstrong, and Draco needs to learn the virtues of patience. I fear upon her eventual meeting with Voldemort, she will lose her calm."
Dumbledore nodded, stroking his beard in concentration. He turned to his former pupil, and looked at him like a grandfather looks upon a wayward son. He looked into his eyes, finally seeing something he thought that had all but disappeared from the man's eyes: hope. Hope that seemed to have left his heart must have returned now that he had someone to fight for. Though he didn't always agree with the Potions Master, he was happy to see hope alive in his heart once more.
"You know Severus; I once asked a young Lily why she chose you over James. She had been insulted at first, but she responded with a coy smile, that she had loved you. She said she saw you for the man that you're, and the man that you wanted to be. I understand her choice immensely."
Not knowing whether to be offended or flattered, he remained silent. Why was the old man drudging up painful memories he'd rather have kept buried? He recalled Lily telling him about that private conversation she once had with Dumbledore. He wanted to erase the whole thing from his mind. He remembered telling her that Dumbledore had basically said that she had faith in a bad guy. He marveled at her ability to trust him so easily. That she trusted him even until her death was amazing.
"Lily was always the most intuitive. I never once doubted her judgment of character. Well, except for Potter and his gang, but that of course, is understandable."
What the old man lacked in tact, he made up tenfold in honesty. Perhaps Dumbledore believed that after years of having a working relationship with him, he could say whatever the hell he wanted. If only his headmaster would wake up and realize that things between them had changed dramatically. He would forgive Dumbledore's gross disregard for his own personal feelings this time, and remember that he too committed the act daily to his hundreds of students. Payback really was a bitch.
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Footnotes: That's it for now. Don't worry. Despite having severe writer's block, I have already begun chapter nineteen. In the next chapter, Pansy and Ron unite… o.O Hermione begins to have weird dreams, Fawkes contacts his brethren, help arrives, and Voldemort learns what Harri really has the potential for. Someone resonates with Sirius, and Lupin and Draco bond! Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time! Please review, pretty please with a grape on top? (I hate cherries.) Peace!
-Shanni