Sorry this is late guys. It's been rough until, about, last Thursday. And my writers block is insane. So, next chapter will be even later. I'm so very sorry. I'm working through it but this chapter is crap and the next will likely to be so, also.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and everything related to Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Goddess J.K.Rowling. Freesia op.2 belongs to my beloved Gackt-san. Aburey does belongs to me. Please don't steal him or he'll put up the kind of fight you won't like.
Warning: OOC!Draco. Will be Draco/Ron slash. A bit of naughty Draco towards the end of this chapter. Not too bad. Maybe you'll blush, but probably not.
And since I'm a copy/paste whore, I haven't forgotten this.
"blah" Regular speech
/blah/ Fwella speech.
"blah" Mermaid speech.
None of what I try to use to separate works! (Cries) (-) Will now be my lame separator.
Freesia op.2 by Aloh Dark
The rest of Draco's day brought him a massive head ache. He didn't feel up to dealing with the school during dinner so he snuck down to the kitchens and got food there. He brought his food with him outside the school. He walked over to the Quidditch Pitch and climbed the Hufflepuff tiers. He walked to the very top before dropping down.
He rested his back and head against the wall and closed his eyes. His hands fumbled slightly as he pulled out the food and drink blindly, but he managed to set them down next to him without much incident. He wasn't feeling hungry any more, though, so the food just sat there neglected.
He didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until a gentle hand was on his shoulders, shaking him slightly. Draco's eyes fluttered before they finally opened and stared into the blue depths above him. Draco had the sudden mental feeling of willingly drowning.
"You alive?" Ron asked softly.
Draco suddenly realized how dark it was and how cold he'd become. "No. Go away."
Ron sighed and removed his hands from Draco's shoulders. Draco shivered as cool air hit where Ron's warm hands had been. Ron stood next to the sitting Draco in silence, staring at Draco.
"You seem pretty alive to me." Ron said after long moments.
"So? I could be dead. You never really know, you know." Draco said, leaning back against the wall again. When he'd sat up straight, he didn't know.
"No, you're alive." Ron said, looking away from Draco and at the sky.
Draco stared at Ron's profile for a long moment. "If you say so."
"So," Ron said after the silence had become too long for him. "Did your father make you learn all those potions growing up?"
Draco cracked his neck. "Yes and no."
"How's that?" Ron asked, looking back at Draco.
"He arranged for me to learn some of them. I studied up on the rest." Draco said. "Thousands of books at the Manor. Nothing to do most of the time so I read them."
"Sounds lonely." Ron muttered, thinking of his own childhood.
Draco straightened and looked offended. "It wasn't." He lied. "I love to read and learn."
"So why aren't your grades better than Hermione's?" Ron asked.
Draco glared. "That isn't any of your business." Draco suddenly longed for the closed vial in his pocket but didn't dare reach for it.
Ron stared at him silently for another long moment. He was making Draco very uncomfortable with his long silences. "You're very tense today." He observed.
"Point? It's the first day back, anyone would be tense." Draco said.
"I'm not." Ron said. "Only you."
"It's only you and I here." Draco pointed out.
"And you're amazingly tense for it only being the first day." Ron pointed out.
Draco dug his fingers into his pockets, his right hand closing around the unbreakable vial. "I hate being here and I hate my classes."
"That doesn't mean you have to be this tense." Ron said. "Look, you're practically shaking because I'm making you face your tenseness."
"I'm practically shaking because I'm cold." Draco said, it only being a half truth.
Ron slipped out of his cloak and gave it to Draco. Draco was about to protest but stopped at the look in Ron eyes. He muttered a thanks as he slipped the cloak on. The lingering heat from Ron's body warmed his own body.
"Now, do you want to tell me why today's bitten you on the arse?" Ron asked.
Draco sighed. "No. I want to look at the stars with," He paused looking over Ron. "With a friend."
Draco saw the way Ron's eyes lit up at his statement and a small smile spread over his lips. Draco's own lips responded with a small smile. In the comfortable silence that fell between them they stared at the stars.
It didn't last long though since Ron was a creature of noise. He didn't feel comfortable in complete silence after growing up in a house with Fred and George Weasley. He broke the silence between them with a whispered question. "Truth or dare?"
Draco looked over at the red head confused. "What?" He asked just as softly.
"Truth or dare?" Ron asked again. "You do know that game, don't you?"
"Is it the game where if I choose truth I have to honestly answer one of your questions and if I take a dare I have to do something you want me to." Draco said.
"Yeah. Truth or dare?"
Draco sighed. "I've no wish to move. Truth."
"Why do you hate being at Hogwarts?" Ron asked without skipping a second.
Draco sighed again. "You have to ask that? Couldn't you ask something inane like how many girls I've shagged or something?"
"You're avoiding the question." Ron said.
"Fine, fine." Draco said. "I hate this school because I have to pretend to be someone I'm not. Because I can't be who I want to be without fear of mass hatred. Because I have a reputation that makes me sick. Because this is the place where I made a complete fool of myself here and the memories of that idiocy are everywhere."
Ron was silent at the bitter tone in Draco's voice. Draco wasn't looking at him but was looking straight ahead. Ron cleared his throat uncomfortable. "I choose truth."
Draco was silent for another moment. "How does it feel to be living a life in the shadows of everyone else and not living up to them?" He asked, intentionally trying to hurt him.
Ron was quiet for so long that Draco became worried and was about to take back what he said and maybe apologize. Ron spoke before he could and shocked Draco.
"It feels like hell most of the time." Ron said. "At home I'm just the last of the Weasley boys, not even the last of the Weasley's. I'm not funny like the twins, I'm not a girl like Ginny, I'm not smart like Percy, I'm not cool like Bill and I'm not talented like Charlie. I'm just the last of the boys and another Weasley." His voice was soft.
"At school I'm in other people's shadows too. I'm the best friend and side kick of the Harry Potter, world saver extraordinaire. It's always his drama and his problems and his achievements and his talents and it's always all about him." Ron had gotten enthusiastic by that point. He was gesturing with his hands and talking loudly, staring deep into Draco's eyes. "And then there's Hermione who's always good at everything! Gets all her homework done the day it's assigned. Best in the year. Prefect to the extreme. She's going to be Head Girl seventh year, I swear it. She's a snitch and thinks she's better than everyone else. She's always ragging on me because I don't do as well as her. She even got bloody Viktor Krum as a date." Ron said bitterly. "Everyone expects me to suddenly be like my brothers all the sudden too. Be like Percy and get good grades. Or suddenly be as funny as the twins. I can't be my brothers! I don't want to be like them! I'm me and no one seems to like that fact."
Silence reigned between the two as Ron breathed heavily after his tirade. Draco found his heart pumping three times its normal speed as he stared into Ron's eyes.
"I don't even like me." Ron said in a voice barely above a whisper.
"I like you for you." Draco said softly. He was suddenly aware of how little space there was between them but didn't care.
Ron stared silently at him for a moment. His eyes were over bright and open for all to see what he was feeling. Something flickered in them and they were shuddered close. Ron stood up and turned his back on Draco.
"Thanks." He said softly before he walked down the stairs of the tier.
Draco watched him go in confusion. He sat by himself for a long time after Ron left, thinking of nothing. When he finally decided to head inside, he was cold all the way through even with Ron's cloak.
(-)
Draco walked into his dorm feeling guilty. He knew what was going on in his head and he didn't want it to happen. It wasn't allowed to happen. But it was and he couldn't stop it now that it had started.
Draco stripped at his bedside and didn't bother putting clothes on. He knew that it was too dark for anyone to see him even if anyone was awake, which no one was. He walked over to his trunk in his naked state.
He unlatched the hidden catch and opened up a smaller lid in the lid. He pulled out the bottle Aburey had given him. He uncapped it and took a few swallows. The liquid burned his mouth but froze his throat. A numb, calmness settled over him a little after the liquid hit his stomach. He recapped the bottle, put it back in its hiding place and reconciled the lid.
He walked to his bedside and collapsed onto it. He pulled his legs into his chest as the sedative took effect. With the amount he kept in the vial he'd just be calmed, but the amount he'd just drank he was going to be put asleep quickly. That was especially true since he hadn't eaten since lunch. He laid on top of his cover naked, his arms holding himself and his legs pulled to his chest as the drugged sleep shut the world out.
His mind stopped functioning as he fell into a deep sleep.
(-)
Draco slowly awoke with a groan. He pushed his hips deeper into his bed and groaned again. He moved his hips faster and with more force until, with a moan, he climaxed. He slowly came to his senses, reliving his dream. His eyes went wide and he forced himself onto his elbows. He rolled over and sat up. He put his head in his hands with a miserable groan. He's just had a wet dream about Ron.
Draco cursed himself for being twenty times a fool and pulled on the extra pair of boxers he always kept beneath his pillow for when things like that happened. He opened his bed hangings and looked out into the dorm. No one else was around, for which he was thankful. The clock next to his bed claimed it to be just a little after when his dorm mates normally woke up.
He got out of bed and itched his left shoulder blade as he looked at the evidence of him losing his mind. He quickly flipped the sheets over. He grabbed everything he'd need for his morning cleaning and walked to the bathroom. Blaise was standing at the large mirror shaving. He looked over at Draco when he walked in.
"Don't you prefects get to use a special bathroom?" Blaise asked.
"Don't feel like walking all the way there." Draco muttered as he walked into a shower stall.
"Is something up Draco?" Blaise asked as Draco put his boxers on top of his towel. He turned the water on.
"Why would you think something's up?" Draco asked, stepping beneath the burning water.
"Well, I was up late and you came in after I fell asleep and you slept in a lot later than you usually do." Blaise said, leaning against the wall that divided the stall Draco was in from the stall next to it. "Those are two things you don't usually do. Just wondering if everything's okay."
Draco sighed but wasn't heard over the running water. "Ever want something you just knew you could never have?"
"What's her name?" Blaise asked after a moment.
Draco smiled at the assumption of the gender. "Veronica. And I'm not telling you anything more than that."
"Well, I know you're lying about the name but I'll let it slip." Blaise said with a small laugh. "So, why can't you have her? She have a boyfriend?"
"No." Draco said. "No boyfriend."
"Girlfriend then?" Blaise ask with a laugh. "You crushing on a lesbian?"
"No. No girlfriend either. Think they're straight at least." Draco said.
"Well then, what's the problem?" Blaise asked.
"Father." Draco said. "Society. Houses. Financial status. Take your pick of the four."
Blaise sucked in air through his teeth. "Wow, that's a lot to go against you." He said.
"I know." Draco mutter back, shampooing his hair. "Trust me, I know."
"Well, does she like you back?" Blaise asked.
"As a friend." Draco said. "I don't think she likes me as anything more."
"Well, if she only likes you as a friend, don't ruin the friendship by saying or doing anything." Blaise said. "But do you like her?"
"I think I'm falling for her." Draco said.
"You only think you are?" Blaise asked. "Figure your own feelings out before you worry about hers. If it turns out you like her and she likes you, go for it. Does anything but love really matter? Love's love. Screw your father if he doesn't approve."
Draco nodded as he washed the shampoo from his hair. "You're right Blaise. Thanks a lot. You really are right."
"No problem. I'm just the advice machine." Blaise said.
"Whatever." Draco said. He finished up with his shower, knowing that he had a lot of thinking he had to do. He was glad he had a free period that morning before Care of Magical Creatures.
Draco walked with Blaise down to the Great Hall for breakfast after collecting their things. Goyle and Crabbe were already seated and eating eggs. Marianna was talking with her new friends and looked all of the leader of the group which she undoubtedly was. Blaise and Draco joked the morning meal away and when it came time for them to separate, Draco was in a much better mood.
He grabbed some toast and made his way outside. He grinned to himself as he realized his feet had led him to the Hufflepuff tiers once again. He resigned to fate and walked to the very top. He sat down and began to nibble on his pilfered toast. He looked at the space around him as he thought.
One thing he knew for sure was that he was gay. That he hadn't doubted since he'd figured it out back in third year and accepted it during the summer between fourth and fifth year. So that was one hurdle he'd already jumped and didn't bare any more thinking about. So he thought instead about what was going on between him and Ron.
He admitted to himself readily that Ron was attractive. There was no doubt that he found Ron sexually attractive for a while but he found a lot of guys at school attractive so he'd never really thought a lot about it. But then the past summer had happened and yesterday too had changed everything.
Ronald Weasley was more than just Harry Potter's side kick, Hermione Granger's friend and another Weasley. He was more than that now, and that was scaring Draco. He'd become a friend that Draco very much wanted to have. Draco also found himself feeling what he thought were more than friendly feelings. He doubted himself though, claiming that he'd never really had a friend like Ron so he didn't have anything to compare with.
His mind argued that his feelings for Ron would only stay elevated for a little while. Soon he'd get off the high of making a new, very close friend. He'd realize that Ron was just that, a friend. His heart wasn't so sure about that though, and squeezed itself to disagree. Besides, he didn't even know how Ron still felt after what happened yesterday. He didn't even know what had really taken place in the small amount of time between Ron's rant and Ron's leaving.
Draco glared up at the sky. "That's why I hate this place." He told the clouds. "Nothing's clear here and I'm always doubting myself. I think too much when I'm here and there's never anyone to hash things out with." He sighed and looked down after he closed his eyes. "Why can't you be here Fwella? I need you more than ever."
Draco opened his eyes and pulled his bag to him. He pulled out the box of orbs he rarely was without anymore and searched through them. He pulled out a crystal clear orb and let it hang in the air. He set the box down next to him and leaned back.
"Modern rock, punk and alternative. Ignore any results from within five feet." He told the orb. That particular orb didn't have any music programmed into it but was designed to search for songs on cd's, radio waves, and other orbs within a two thousand mile radius. It had cost him a few galleons of his Christmas money.
Draco spent the next five minutes shifting through thousands of songs. He began to listen to some before changing the song and looking through the rest. Eventually he found a song he wanted. Give It Up by Midtown. He'd never heard of that group before but he liked the song. He set the search on pause and the song on repeat.
Draco's fingers itched for a cigarette. It was a nasty habit he'd picked up from when he was trying to quit the potion Aburey gave him. It lasted a good half year in which he picked up smoking. The good thing about magical smokes was that they had all the addiction and nearly none of the toxins. There were still a few toxins but most were gone so they were a lot healthier than anything a muggle would ever wrap their lips around. He'd gave into the lull of the potion, though, and still occasionally smoked when he didn't have any potion left. Smoking didn't give him any of the numbing effect but it did calm him down.
Draco thought a lot more on the subject of wanting Ron. He enjoyed their friendship, no matter how weird and short it's been. In the short time they'd been friends, they'd become really close. Draco needed that. He had his Slytherin friends but he just needed the difference of Ron.
By the time Care of Magical Creatures was due to start, Draco wasn't any more settled on his feelings but he felt a lot better about them. He didn't know if he liked Ron as more than a friend or just as a friend but he felt confident that everything would smooth out.
He walked by himself to the class and walked over to Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle.
Thanks to!
Faint Hate! I do like your name, and that's an interesting way to make on up. Thanks for the review! I'm glad that my Draco is actually acting like a real person! He's fun to write but I'm always afraid I'm not making him real. And that's not sad at all.
Red-Chan! Ah! hands over boxes of tissues Don't cry! I'm sorry! huggles
I Heart DM 11! Thank you! And my Snape's are never bad. I like the whole "I'm just misunderstood and enjoy tormenting my students" Snape. Ah sigh young gay love. So cute!
Yuuri Asakura! YAY! Very little mistakes in the last one. Can promise you, though, that there were a ton in this one. Lol, you can choose if you suffer or not! Lol, and no, the isn't under any periods. But it was fun trying to figure out what that meant.
Meirta! Yes, my chapters are getting shorter, I believe. You've learned a bit more about it, but that's not all. There's a little bit more to it. And sorry but no Fwella yet. Ah! Can I still have the cookies when she does show up? And yes, Narcissa will show up again. But not for a bit. Can't at school. Ah, thank you! I like creating original characters in my head so they're pretty developed when I finally have time to use them.