AU: Pre clone war Obi-Wan is a Jedi Master, there is no Anakin, and Qui-Gon is dead Rating: R for sexual content and mention of child molestation
Disclaimer: Naovi Redsun and Dal Bantalian are my creations. Everyone else belongs to George Lucas
Chapter 9
Obi-Wan hated feeling so helpless. Somewhere out there his padawan, no not just his padawan his friend, was alone and angry and feeling betrayed. How had everything gone so wrong? He lay back on the bed, trying to clear his mind. His senses were immediatly filled with her. Her scent was on the pillow, in the room, in his mind, and no matter how he tried to ignore it it refused to go away. He knew her so well, her scent, the way her eyes flashed when she was engaged in battle, the way her left brow would raise slightly when she was deep in thought, the way she tucked that one strand of hair behind her ear because it always came loose from the braid she always wore her hair in, the way she put all her weight on her right leg and crossed the other leg over it unless they were in front of the council. He knew her every look, every guesture, every move she made. Knew them all and loved them all. He shot straight up as it hit him. He loved Naovi! Not as his padawan, or as his sister, or even as his friend. He loved her as a man loved a woman. How could he feel this way? Jedi were forbidden to love. 'But,' he thought 'if you think about it, can anyone really be forbidden to love. Can we keep anyone, even Jedi from falling in love.' His thoughts were interrupted as he sensed her. He knew it was her, but she was different than when she'd run out. He sensed no anger only raw nervous energy. The door opened and she entered. She looked awful. Her gold jumpsuit stuck to her skin as it had been at the lake. He couldn't fail to notice the way her nipples stuck out, just as he'd been unable to ignore it at the lake. Her braid had come loose and her hair hung in wet strands. Her eyes were red and puffy. She'd been crying. He'd made her cry and it tore him up inside. She looked at the floor refusing to meet his eye.
"I have thought about what you did," she said.
"Naovi I..." she held up a hand to silence him. "What you did was wrong, but I know why you did it. I forgive you, Obi-Wan." Obi-Wan felt a small weight lift from the pit of his stomach.
"Thank you Naovi," he said.
"As for the Sava Duez," she said crossing the room. "I know what it entails. After Bantalion was discovered to be a Sith, I was so confused and I didn't know what to do. I was too ashamed to let any of the council know. I didn't want anyone to know. I hated my body, so I hid in my robes. I hated looking at myself in the mirror. Bantalian used to tell me I was so pretty right before he would...I hated looking at my face. I wanted to claw my face to shreds so I wouldn't be pretty anymore. I didn't know what to do. So I went to the archives, to try to find out if other padawans had gone through this and what they did to get over it. As you can imagine the results were not very inspiring. Most turned to dark side, some left the order all together living in seclusion. Very little was written about recovery. Then I came across the story of Lia Tal-Dien. She was kidnapped at the age of fifteen by a sith lord. Her master Eal Tamun searched for her for over a year." Obi-Wan knew all of this already from his research on the Sava Duez but he was not about to interrupt. Naovi seemed to need to say what she was saying and he was going to listen.
"When he finally found her she was in such a state. They knew she had been raped many times, but she would not speak of her experience. So Master Tamun took her away to a secluded planet. After several months of being together just the two of them Lia began to open up and she told her master everything. Speaking about her experience cleansed her mentally, but she still could not shake off her physical fear. To help her see that there was nothing to fear Master Tamun made love to her. When their bodies joined it was as though their hearts, minds, and souls became one so the Jedi council named this the Sava Duez or the Great Joining. Lia Tal-Dien was able to complete her training and became one of the most powerful Jedi Masters in history." She paused to look up at him. Tears fell from her eyes. He wanted desperately to wipe them away but he feared touching her for fear of spooking her.
"Master," she said. "I don't know if I can do what is required. I don't know if I can let you make love to me. But I do know I don't want to feel this way anymore. So whatever you ask of me, I will do." Obi-Wan felt his spirits lift. The way Naovi looked at him right now melted his heart. She looked so young, so scared, and was looking to him to take away her pain. He knew at that moment that Naovi would be all right.
"I am happy that you have agreed Naovi," he said trying to keep the emotion out of his voice. "Let me first tell you that I shall do nothing without your consent. We shall take this very slowly. If at anytime you want to stop what we are doing you have but to say so and it is done"
"It may take a very long time," Naovi said softly.
"As long as it takes," Obi-Wan said. "We have all the time in the world." Naovi took a deep breath, brushed the tears from her eyes and stood up.
"Where shall we begin?" she said her voice trembling.
"Well, it is rather late, we should probably get some sleep. Perhaps we could start by sharing the bed. Nothing else, just sleeping beside each other in the bed"
"I think I can do that," Naovi said.
"You will probably want to shower before bed. You are soaked to the skin." She nodded and went to the closet and removed her nightgown. She disappeared into the bathroom. Obi-Wan took a deep breath and began to get ready for bed. He opted to wear a tunic to bed so as not to frighten Naovi. She reappeared dressed in her thin white nightgown. He let her crawl into bed first and then crawled in beside her. He felt her stiffen beside him and shift onto her side until she was practically falling off the bed. He gently laid his hand on her shoulder and turned her until she was on her back. She gazed up at him nervously as he leaned over her.
"There's nothing to be frightened of, Naovi. I would never ever hurt you"
"I know, Obi-Wan," she whispered. "Good night." She closed her eyes and after a few minutes was fast asleep. "Good night, Naovi," he whispered kissing her forehead. She was so beautiful. Everything was going to be all right. He was going to get Naovi through this. Now if he could just keep his feelings for her under control, everything would be well.
That's all for now. More coming soon I promise.