A/N: Jesus Christ! It's been 2-3 weeks since I last updated! Gomen Nasai minna! Man I've been caught up with school and reading people's entries. I seem to have lacked inspiration and ideas during the little break. And for that I apologize. To show how sorry I am I'm gonna give u a nice juicy long chapter! How's that sound?

Hmm….wondering why now I get the hint of this over due update? Well let's just say a friend of my nii-sans is a fan of this and keeps pestering me to update. That and I felt really guilty. So without further ado let's get chap. 16 going!

Disclaimer: To relieve reviewer SomeoneInThePastOfEarth…. I don't own anyone or anything ok! Geez make me mad! This is why I don't put this shit…gets me annoyed!

Ch. 16

Rin slept soundly in the warmth of Sesshomaru's body around her. She snuggled and fell into a peaceful dream. She dreamt her and Sesshomaru sitting like they were at the park. Yet he held her close to him protectively in his lap, his arms around her and his head down whispering how much he loved her.

It was something she wished that she could pause and keep it like that for as long as she lived. Ever since her accident with her memory loss, Sesshomaru has always been there to comfort her and help her when needed. Friends like Kagome, Inuyasha, and such were there too, but she felt more comfortable and better in the arms of her best friend. He claims that are best friends, but to her she has stronger feelings for him than just a best friend. Yes, Rin had come to have fallen in love with her best friend through this trauma. Though deep inside it hurt her to think he didn't feel the same way. How she wished she had her memories back so she could recall more times with him than just going places now and then right now so he could tell her the great times they had together in the past. It saddens her to know those memories he claims that happened were just a faded blur to her. If only I had my memories….if only I never gotten in that accident…if only fate wasn't so cruel to bestow me such cruelty…maybe I could remember something…

Her thoughts were interrupted by a rumble against her. Rin waited for that vibrate to her stomach to go away and let her resume her dreams, but it wouldn't. Is that me…or Sesshomaru?

Her answers were answered when he heard the voice of Sesshomaru's cold angry voice.

Feet away from Sesshomaru and Rin stood a woman grinning behind her fan. Sesshomaru sniffed the air and his eyes flared with anger when he recognized the fowl scent.

From a good evening to a day in hell, everything was going nice and smooth for Sesshomaru, but she had to come and ruin it. There in the darkness of the night, stood his ex-assistant and demon wind sorceress, wearing a black and red yukata. Covering half her face she held her fan ready to strike with the scent of anger and revenge.

"What are you doing here Kagura" Sesshomaru growled at her with Rin still in his arms. He glared angrily to know she was out and was seeking revenge.

Of course Kagura was not that stupid to challenge Sesshomaru into a fight, for she knew he was stronger than her. So why fight when she could mess with the mind and heart of the one she hated dearly. The heart was such fragile things and minds were easy to toy with, effects from that cut deeper than using fists any day.

Kagura chuckled in delight. "Why Sesshomaru, not pleased to see your "favorite" assistant out from the hell place you sent me and ready to go back to serve under you?"

She stepped out of the dark into the moonlighted area. She closed her fan with a snap, revealing her pale face and bloody crimson eyes.

"Not even a welcome back? How rude" she teased.

Sesshomaru regain posture and narrowed his eyes on her. "Why would I want to welcome back such a poor excuse of demon under my feet who dares betray me in daring to take over my company?" He sneered

Kagura shook her head and grinned. "Ah Sesshomaru …such a simple minded fool, so obsessed and concerned about your little company, that your little wench there nearly died, or so I was told" she chuckled at Sesshomaru's blank face showed nothing but his eyes flared in anger. No response of him denying it, she presumed she heard right.

"So it's true? From what I heard when I was away, your business cost you your love's memories and past. You should be grateful she doesn't remember the things you did" she laughed.

Sesshomaru hadn't realized Rin was awake, yet her eyes were closed but her ears were wide open listening in curiosity. Her heart beat slowly from what the woman who called herself, Kagura, had to say. By the way Sesshomaru's growling rumbled his chest, which caused her to wake; it showed he did not approve of her. Yet when she mentioned the reason of her near death and loss of her past memories her heart stopped. Many questions arose from her head. What was the reason for the car incident? Why is Kagura saying Sesshomaru should be happy I don't remember my past? Is better I don't remember anything? Did something bad happen in the past between me and Sesshomaru that he hasn't told me?

So many questions yet very few answers, all this time she had been with Sesshomaru, she realized he spoke so much of the good and nothing of the bad times that had happened other than the time they first met because of the gang of boys that were about to pound her into a pulp and getting hit by a car resulting in giving her amnesia,. Other than that, nothing, he didn't even speak about what happened before that. Why hadn't he told me? Would he think I would be mad and knows that since I don't have full memories of my past he should take an advantage over me? Fill my mind with the good times and none of the bad….how could he? I wish to know what happened in my past good and bad! If he thinks I can have a past life that is all A's and B's then he's sadly mistaken! Rin silently fumed in her head and listened closely to the conversation.

"Tell me Sesshomaru….from all this time spending with her, recalling all the good times with her...I'm sure that really makes her happy doesn't it? Now would she be happy when she was to know that you were the one that caused her to get into that car accident… hmm?" Kagura said viciously.

Sesshomaru looked down at Rin with sad eyes. I'm so sorry Rin, I never meant to hurt you.

But little did he know that inside Rin, her heart shook from the broken heart to know that her best friend, or so he told her, the one she fallen in loved with, was the cause of her loss of memory. Because of him she could not remember who and what her parents looked like, and how they acted toward her. She could not remember what it was like to be a kid with no worries or problems in the world, just a carefree mind. Things like where she grew up at and how. Or what were her favorite things and hobbies back then. So many things lost because somehow he was the reason for it. Sure he and friends like Kagome helped her rekindle most of those favorite things, memories, and personalities. But there were things that they couldn't remind her of that she only did when she had her memories. Things like her feelings and emotions.

They couldn't remind her simple things like how she felt when she passed a test or a challenge, reactions to scary movies or being scared from being surprise, how she felt when things went wrong but she stood tall til she made things right. And then things like feelings she used to have backed then for her friend and family that she can now not remember. Sure they can remind her events like going out and having fun at an amusement park. But they couldn't remind the feelings she felt while she was there experiencing for herself. Rin trembled inside, but didn't show it she just listened on.

"How could you break her little witty heart because you chose your "endangered" company over her like you did 10 years ago, which you happened to have done the same thing leaving her heart broken."

Sesshomaru placed Rin down on the ground as his fists clutch in anger. Rin felt tears brewing in her eyes.

"And because of YOUR company and YOUR actions, after 10 years she was left with loneliness and sadness over her to deal with by herself. But as she come to get over it, you come back into her life and bring her more sadness which lead to a mishap with a drunken driver happened to cross between your love and you not being there like you say you would" "Am I right?" her eyes gleamed evilly at Sesshomaru's reaction, he was shaking in anger, trying not to be violent with Rin around. She was getting her revenge and she loved every bit of it.

"Now" she laughed "Now that she has no memory of what so ever you claim to love her now that you realize your mistake all these years and want to make up for it!"

Sesshomaru growled loudly not wanting to remember such fowl memories let alone her get the best of him. He used his demon speed over to her and came from behind. He held her neck with his arm in choking her. He growled angrily and whispered in her ear.

"If you know what's good for you, I suggest you keep you and your big mouth out of other people's business"

She laughed at the threat. "Yet you can't deny that happened and now it's in the past, unable to change it"

Sesshomaru tightened his grip and growled louder.

"Wench I'm warning you! Don't mess with this Sesshomaru"

She laughed and used her wind to release Sesshomaru's grip on her. Sesshomaru jumped back as Kagura landed lightly on the ground.

She did not stop the torment and continued to anger him further. "Sesshomaru" she laughed as he charged at her. She jumped into the air and floated down 5 feet from him. "If she would have heard your little speech of how you loved her earlier, but heard your admittance having to be involved with the cause of her memory loss, how would you feel?" she smirked and glared happily at his response when his poison whipped came forth and flew to hit her.

She dodged it and quirked an eyebrow. "How would she feel?" she cackled once more.

That was the last straw. Sesshomaru speed over to her and clawed her with his dokkasou. He succeeded in slashing her pale face, thus leaving 4 green scratches on her cheek and red blood spurring out and in with the green poison.

She hissed and held her face. "You'll pay for that!" she screamed and unfolded her fan. She launched her dance of blades on Sesshomaru, who dodged them gracefully. He formed a whip and striked the fan out of her hands. She hissed at him and went to retrieve it. But only came to stop when a foot stepped upon it.

"Die wench" he growled raising his glowing green claws above her.

He was about to strike when he was stopped by a cry.

"Stop!" Rin yelled over in the other side.

She had heard enough and when she opened her eyes to see the fight going on, she couldn't take it. There she stood facing the 2 demons. The female trying to retrieve her weapon and poison and blood oozing out of her face, while the male attempted to kill the female as fast as he can with the tint of redness in his eyes.

Rin was shaking in anger, fright, and sadness. All this time he had kept it to himself, all this time it was a fake façade to get her to love him and forget about the past, all this time she thought it was fate who decided to get her memories washed away by some accident and bring her closer to her best friend. Now she could see the truth, and heard the truth with her own eyes and ears.

"No more lies, no more lies" she whispered with her head down, her brown bangs covering her eyes, and tears streaming down her cheeks.

Sesshomaru stopped his attack and the poison streaming down his hand. His eyes returned back to golden and softened when he turned to Rin. Kagura smirked, retrieving her fan, and taking off into the darkness, her revenge was complete.

Sesshomaru went over to Rin and whispered sadly "Rin"

"Stop!" she yelled to him.

Sesshomaru stopped his advances toward Rin. He hoped he never had to tell her about this, let alone have to hear it in such a hard way. But he had no choice, she had heard and now he was gonna pay the price.

"Tell me this isn't true, tell me this isn't what I think I heard from her true!" she yelled facing him with her puffy red eyes.

"……"

"Sesshomaru….tell me the truth…what happened on the night of my accident and why" she shouted. "I want everything, good and bad!"

Sesshomaru sighed and walked over to her. He held out a hand over her shoulder, but she flinched away. Sesshomaru felt a little hurt from that gesture, yet he started his story.

"10 years ago, when I met you, you're aware that I saved you have those swine of humans I told you that were going to attack you, yes?"

Rin nodded dumbly, not sure what that has to do with the car accident.

"Well, were friends since then and I guess inseparable as you would say" he chuckled at the thought.

Rin's eye twitched in annoyance that he was prolonging the story, with pass memories.

"You were an orphan child back then, due to the death of your parents, too in a car accident, I'm sorry to say, so I have taken the charge of caring for you see"

Rin's eyes watered to hear that, but nodded for him to continue. Sesshomaru looked out to the moon as he sighed and continued.

"But on my 18th birthday, my father had passed away forcing me to inherit his company. Apparently I had no choice but to move from Japan to China, therefore coming to the choice of leaving you" his eyes saddened with guilt.

"From what I recall you telling me, before your incident when you had your memories, we were sharing our 10 year away life, you said you had lived with a family friend named Kaede."

Rin gasped, she recalled hearing a name like that, but it was still blurry.

He cleared his throat and continued. "After she shortly passed away you had to bear the life of caring for yourself at such a young age, job, shelter, food, school, that sort of thing" he glanced over to Rin who looked down at the ground momentarily before looking over to him once again.

"I-I was afraid to see your reaction after what I did, so I didn't bother to hear what had happened to you since"

Rin's eyes glared angrily at that selfish remark.

"So when I returned back to Japan to extend my business, I happened to come across you in a ….situation." he said slowly

She tapped her foot and crossed her arms waiting to hear what the situation was.

"Which was?" she gritted her teeth. So far she didn't like how the truth was coming out. It seems there were as many bad times as good times…or possibly more.

"You were close to being rapped by some thugs" he recalled sad to tell her and mad at those humans for dong such a thing to a sweet girl like Rin.

Rin's eyes widen and trembled at the thought.

As if reading her mind Sesshomaru answered "I came in time before they could do anything to you" He then received a grateful sigh before resuming his story.

"It was then I recognized your necklace that you have given me a decade ago that I knew that was you. We then spent as much time to catch up in each other's lives" he smiled at the thought.

Rin smiled too. Now the story was getting a little better.

But his smile turned to frown, which Rin noticed therefore knew something had gone wrong. She knew she was gonna get her answer now.

"One of those days we went out with Inuyasha and Kagome to a restaurant. Being childish as they are, you and I left them there and we went out to spend alone time…But…during that time I-I had to take care of some business for my company…urgent." He frowned.

"Kagura was my assistant and had gone to such low intentions of bringing down my company…so I had left you, to take care of it…" he strained the guilt and pain he was now inflecting on Rin.

Rin felt her heart rip out for his selfishness.

"Then what-"she choked, half of her didn't want to her it, the other got the best of her curiosity.

Sesshomaru inhaled a lot of air before answering. "Witnesses say that a drunken driver had come upon the street you were walking and had-"

Before he could finish Rin was on the ground sobbing. She had fallen to her knees and her hands were to her face as the tears flowed continuously.

Sesshomaru bent down and hugged the girl. He rubbed her back and felt his cold heart break in two to see her like this.

How could he? And to think I was in love with him!

"I'm sorry Rin, truly I am" he whispered.

Rin didn't want to hear this anymore. She was tired, exhausted and her heart couldn't take it anymore.

"Take me home" was all she whispered.

Sesshomaru hesitantly thought it would be good idea for them, after this long night and nodded.

He picked up the still crying Rin and took her to his car.

Sesshomaru drove back to his mansion. He looked at the time to see it was 3 in the morning, so his brother and Kagome went back home back now. When he arrived he looked over to Rin who was fast asleep, which relieved him. He couldn't take one more minute of her crying knowing it's because of him that had caused it. So he picked her up and headed into his mansion.

Once inside, he went to the guest room Rin had been using and laid her there. He sighed looking down at the exhausted girl. Her eyes were puffy from all that crying and her face streaked from dry tears.

Sesshomaru headed out the door taking one more glance at Rin before he closed it.

Rin then snapped her eyes back open. She had been fake sleeping through out the whole ride back. She sighed sitting up and pulling her legs to her chest as she hugged them. In her mind and heart she was confused.

I love Sesshomaru….don't I? From what his story tells me he saved me twice. But then he hurt me twice too. But he was sweet trying to make up for his mistakes. Yet later it just gets worst and I end up hurt….oh this is so confusing! Love or not…trust him or not….he lied to me, trying to forget everything that was his mistakes that caused me pain. But he did that to protect me from getting hurt, yet it hurts him and I even more.

Rin groaned as she let go of her legs and fell back on her bed. She closed her eyes and thought back to what Kagura said.

"Because of your company and your actions, after 10 years she was left with loneliness and sadness over her to deal with by herself. But as she comes to get over it, you come back into her life and bring her more sadness."

Was I happier when Sesshomaru wasn't there in my life? Is better for me and my heart if he never came at all? What do I say? What do I do?

Rin thought back to the sadness and hurt Sesshomaru looked at her when he told the truth. She wanted Sesshomaru to be happy, but if she caused him that much sadness in his eyes….she wasn't gonna be there to do it.

Rin sat up and thought about her decision. Yes, I'll leave out of Sesshomaru's life forever. It's best if I don't cause him so much sadness to his life….and for me…. He can go back to his company he cares so much about and I can move on with my life with a fresh new memories. No memories of the past to haunt me now!

With that decided Rin got up and got a backpack. She stuffed some clothing and pants in it. She took $500 with her. (Ok last time I tried to do yen, I failed miserably so I'm just gonna stick to US ok?) She silently opened the window and looked out into the dark night. Lucky for her, there was a tree right by her window, letting her down easily. She climbed down the tree and landed on the ground softly. She ran to the gates of the mansion before stopping to look at the mansion once more. She wiped any tears that started to form in her eyes before she turned and ran off into the other direction.

"Goodbye….Fluffy" she whispered.

She didn't know where she was going, but she was gonna let her feet take her there, taking her and her heart broken heart for Sesshomaru with her.

A/N: Voila! How's that for a chap 16? Eh, not my best work but I'm rushing here to update! Ooo I hope that was enough to keep you satisfied and happy. OooO I got some ideas from my niisan's friend about coming chap and I don't know if I want to do that….let see umm…I think I'm gonna stick to my original plan. Yea, I think that's better! Neeway! Gomen for the long update, I'm trying to make chap 17 now so WAIT!

Note I got a lot of responses for lemon. Geez I never knew there were so many perverts! Well…not really there was one that didn't want so…since majority rules…I'll make one! Gomen those who don't want, but like I said I'll warn you when I come to it, kay? Now RR!