AN: I have a confession to make…I have never beaten Final Fantasy X. I know…I know…how pathetic…I feel really bad about it, but I stopped playing when I got to the part where you fight Jecht. I got into the game once again and defeated Jecht and beat the game this afternoon. I cried at the end…especially when—well, you know what happens to Auron and you know what happens to…yeah… I really started bawling when Yuna started dancing after they beat Jecht… Well, things are going to get a lot more serious now, let me tell you! Auron's attitude may change a bit by the beginning of the next chapter. Also, for that Al Bhed translator I promised you! You're really gonna need it for Auron and Rikku's little speech! Have fun, reading, guys! Also, I got your picture of Auron and Rikku, and it's amazing! It's really beautiful!
albhed.netfirms.com
In Her Eyes – Part 8
"So…the love Braska have for his daughter isn't real, huh? Is that what you're telling me?"
"Why would you marry someone you don't love?"
"Yevon's unity…"
"Your friends died for a worthy cause. Your death will bring your salvation. Relax, and let me heal you…"
"Do you think it odd that I married an Al Bhed?"
"TIdus…he's my son. I want you to take care of him for me. Make sure…make sure he grows up big and strong, okay?"
"She may be joining you in death sooner than you think."
"Sir Auron? …Sir Auron? Wake up, Sir Auron, please…"
The haunting voices in my sleep were drowning out another…I couldn't have deciphered what was reality…and what was my past…
A warm and soft hand was lightly tapping my cheek, the other hand wiping the sweat from my brow. I groaned as I felt around helplessly, my eye fluttering open. My vision was blurry and a sudden throbbing sensation in the back of my head became apparent.
"I have some vials here for you…"
Ah…it was Lulu. The familiar voice of the black mage welcomed me, my ears basking in her words. She made a grab towards her leather pouch which held all of her healing items, but I grabbed her wrist roughly and jerked her up, forcing the woman to face me.
"Where's Yuna?" I whispered darkly.
Lulu's eyes widened and she blinked blankly, "You…you need to be healed first…"
"No. Is she alright?"
"She's fine, but—"
"Is something wrong?"
Lulu eyed me wearily and sighed. "Sir Auron, you're being absurd…Lady Yuna is fine…"
I closed my eye as the throbbing in my head increased, my whole body shivering. "Where…where…"
"Macalania Woods, Sir Auron," Lulu said reassuringly, applying a hot towel to my forehead. "Young Rikku saved your life, you realize."
My eye snapped open and I stared at Lulu in disbelief. "Did you…?"
Lulu nodded. "Lady Yuna taught the young girl to overcome the barrier of White Magic…"
"What…Lady Yuna…?" I couldn't find the words to make the sentence I needed to ask her my question, but Lulu only smiled warmly and stroked my head, continuing.
"We were ambushed by dozens. Wakka and Tidus took on a couple of Aerouges, but soon found themselves in need of help. I came in along with Valefor and took them out, but there were these other fiends…"
"Dogs…" I muttered darkly, "The dogs…out of nowhere…"
Lulu nodded, "Yes, yes…they attacked you, rendering you unconscious…"
I winced and cursed at myself mentally. Was I a fool? How could I have been taken out so easily? So quickly?
Suddenly, I remembered my katana. I had dropped it…
"My…the blade…"
Lulu frowned, "Half of your belongings were scattered about. We were unable to recover your sword or your cowl, for that matter,"
I closed my eye and felt the pain inside well up. I had lost my cowl…and my sword…
"My katana…" I breathed, "…traveled with me ever since the beginning of Lord Braska's pilgrimage…"
Lulu offered a look of sympathy. I felt so foolish…
"Tidus…he is alright?"
Lulu nodded as she pulled out a red oval shaped vial and twisted off the cap with ease. "He suffered minor injuries…but he remains strong willed and determined…"
"And Lady Yuna?"
"She was jolted a bit, but she will fine…"
"Magic element?" I pondered quietly, my eye gazing lazily at the ground as Lulu let three drops fall on my wound. Immediately, I clenched my teeth and groaned, ignoring the sick sizzling sound as my flesh prickled and burned.
"Yes, but Wakka and I quickly healed her and took care of the element. She keeps her head high, however, and is more concerned for your safety—as well as Wakka's—more than her own,"
"Wakka?"
"He, too, was knocked unconscious," Lulu said quietly, her sponge running up and down my arm. I formed a fist with my hand and breathed deeply, ignoring the throbbing sensation.
"And…the girl?"
Lulu laughed softly as she wrapped a bandage around my wound securely, "Ah, I was waiting for you to ask…"
"Just tell me," I breathed, meeting Lulu's eyes.
Lulu frowned and glanced back at my arm nervously, ignoring my glare. Hesitantly, she said, "She has been watching you ever since the attack, Sir Auron,"
According to Lulu, Lady Yuna insisted that we rest until Wakka and I had fully recovered from our injuries. We resided in our own secluded area in the forest, deep within the Macalania woods. We were hidden from many fiends, safe in our little haven. We set up camp, the others sprawled across the ground as Lady Yuna slept peacefully against Tidus' shoulder, to two young ones propped up against the back of a tree's trunk. At night, I strained my eyes to keep open in order to watch them all while they slept, weary of any clever fiends that might happen to stumble across us. As for myself, I rested during the day, dozing peacefully against a tree as well as most of the others. A complementary blanket from a previous inn served as a mat as another was draped over my lower body. From the waist up, I kept my jacket half off with nothing but my undershirt. My injured arm lay comfortably across my lap, my watchful eye keeping track of every single one of them.
They didn't realize it, but even as guardians, they were being guarded. I was not guarding just Lady Yuna, but her friends as well.
Every night, Lulu would soak my arm in a special liquid Lady Yuna had previously prepared. My arm no longer throbbed or burned—on the contrary, it did not irritate me in the least—but instead it was the helpless feeling I had, unable to protect Lady Yuna. I felt so horrible just sitting there and watching them. What pained me was various belongings of mine had gone missing after the attack.
Often, I often found myself debating at night while the others slept whether my infatuation with young Rikku was to blame for all of this mess. Maybe if I would've been more focused on my duty as a guardian instead of her blasted self…?
I eventually came to the conclusion that Rikku was not at all in the slightest guilty of any of the troubles Lady Yuna's party was going through, but myself instead. I bathed in my self-pity, angry with myself for being to vulnerable to attack that day… Every evening, I relived my fault; I watched myself slowly slip into unconsciousness as the fiend pounded into me relentlessly as the other guardians fell to attack, leaving Lady Yuna and Rikku open targets…
The nightmares…
Al Bhed eyes haunted my sleep, driving me into insomnia. I'd wake up at dawn and wipe the sweat from my brow, glancing anxiously at the sleeping form of Rikku. Then there was that time that night in the Macalania woods…
I still cringe at myself for succumbing to her…
"You should thank her," Lulu said one evening as she ran a warm cloth around my wound.
"Thank who?" I mused, closing my eyes and leaning against the tree as the mage continued to bath my arm in Lady Yuna's potion.
Lulu let her carelessness slip through, purposely letting a stinging gooey substance slip past my open flesh. I gasped and jerked forward, clutching my arm, biting my tongue to keep from whimpering. Once I recovered myself, I glared at Lulu, who was only smirking triumphantly.
"Think you know who I'm talking about." She said wryly, "After I clean your arm, I expect you to apologize to her,"
I didn't reply. Instead, my eyes skimmed over the tufts of grass that filled the ground, silently pondering why Lulu would think I had to apologize to Rikku.
Lulu heaved a sigh, "Sir Auron, I sincerely apologize, but I feel that you expressing your gratitude and asking for her forgiveness may cheer her up."
"Hn?"
"She hasn't spoken for days, you realize… She's been going out with Wakka and Tidus to collect firewood, and he, too, tells me she remains silent unless spoken to. She has barely spoken with Lady Yuna, for that matter. She has just been…keeping to herself…"
I grunted.
"Young Rikku has been stealing off into the forest and I'm too afraid to ask her what is wrong. If you would…"
"I will speak to her."
Lulu smiled appreciatively, "I'm just concerned for her, you realize. You know how Lady Yuna wants her journey to be full of laughter…"
I bit my tongue once again as Lulu finished dressing my wounds that night, unsure of what I was going to do.
I remained motionless until the night came. I watched idly from my resting spot until I saw her shift slightly to her side. A moment had passed, and I remember thinking that perhaps she was in fact asleep. However, she shifted again and slowly sat up on her knees, wearily looking from side to side. I was surprised to see her gaze fall upon me. Quickly, I closed my eye and loosened my muscles as she stealthily made her way towards me, careful as to not wake a soul.
I felt her smooth hand rest upon my rugged cheek, caressing me for a brief moment. I fought the urge to tense up and pull away. It seemed like an eternity to me, when in actuality it couldn't have been more than a few rare moments. I felt pressure on my chest. It must've been her head. She was leaning against my chest, motionless, her breathing slow and calm.
Finally, I heard Rikku whisper:
"E muja oui,"
Her warmth was taken away from me in a quick movement as she stole into the night, leaving me sitting there, staring at her longingly.
Cautiously, I sat up, groaning in pain as I bent more knees, pulling myself to my feet with the aid of an overhead branch.
My sword, my cowl, my glasses…
Everything—save my flask, jacket and hip flask—had been stolen from me. Even my pride…
She was sitting atop a log, very much like the first time I had spoken to her alone. Her hair was let loose, which was a rare sight for me. She was gazing out into the woods, deep in thought, apparently. It wasn't until later that I learned she was thinking about her home…and me…
Rikku didn't hear me as I approached her, slowly advancing upon the young Al Bhed stealthily. It wasn't as if I wanted to frighten her, but…I just wanted to appear less…intimidating, perhaps.
The pain in my arm—which had dwindled down to a nothing—was now steadily increasing, the fire growing immensely. I wanted to reach out and touch her, but something prevented me from doing so. Instead, I sat down beside her, staring out into the woods silently.
She didn't flinch, nor did she move.
"I could hear you, you know," she murmured. "You could try being a little less loud,"
"And you could be a little louder." I remarked, "Lulu's told me you have been…sulking, lately."
She managed a smile, but still she didn't move or make an effort to look at me. "I've just been thinking, lately…"
"About what?"
"Yunie, Home and…you…" She whispered hoarsely.
If pride had allowed me to look her in the eyes, I would've noticed that she was crying then, but it wasn't until later that I learned her quiet tears.
I didn't respond.
Rikku continued, her voice becoming more shaky and uneven with each syllable, "I want to understand why Spira is the way it is. I want to understand why they send Summoners after Sin when Sin cannot be vanquished forever, you know? I want to know what everyone else knows."
Clever little girl…
"No one knows, Rikku," I said, "No one knows—or understands—why Spira is the way it is. No one can tell you why they forbid certain machina and then permit the use of them for the Crusader's. No one can give you the answer to why Summoners are dying. Or perhaps it is no one wants to believe the answer as to why Summoners are dying for Spira's sake…"
Rikku turned to me curiously, "What do you mean?"
"Yevon…has always hidden its true face. Maybe later you will understand," I shifted uncomfortably. I felt so vulnerable with her gaze on me. "The answer to everything can be found within Yevon's teachings. But…you need to read between the lines. It can be complicated and it can be difficult to understand…but I don't think you're ready—or anyone of us, for that matter—for the truth."
"Not even you?"
"No."
"You know the truth, though, don't you?"
I smirked. "Perhaps."
The silence that suddenly followed soon after grew tiresome, until finally I heard her sniff as she stifled a whimper.
"Rikku?" I turned to face her and was shocked to see her crying.
"I'm sorry…I'm normally not like this…" She made a move to get up and leave, but I put a hand on her shoulder and held her down.
"Tell me what's wrong,"
Rikku wiped away her tears. "Everything…"
"Everything?" I tilted my head to the side to get a better look of her, but she only buried her face into her hands and let her tears fall. She nodded through her hands.
"I can't let Yunie die…Tidus and I can't let that happen, you know?" She sobbed, "And…I haven't seen my father and now you hate me…"
She fell into me, her sobs escaping her throat in a short whimpers. I remember not being able to find the words to console her and being absolutely horrified at her remark. She thought I hated her? I didn't know how to react to her, now, as she lay into my chest, shaking.
I just sat there, holding her, letting her cry into me. I wanted to dry each tear and let her know that I loved her just the same…that never would I hate her…
"You hate me…"
An overpowering sense of guilt washed over me, causing me to let go of her in surprise. This only made her tears fall harder as she whispered in Al Bhed:
"E muja oui, Auron…E uhmo fecr oui fuimt yo dra cysa vun sa…pid E ghuf oui ryda sa. Oui dumt sa ouincamv eh dra Drihtan Bmyehc…pid…E tuh'd ghuf ruf E lyh lryhka dryd. E tuh'd ghuf fryd E lyh tu…syopa ev E luimt zicd damm oui…pid E lyh'd. E lyh'd ajah cbayg du oui fedruid lnoehk yhosuna…"
I blinked. This…was unreal. It had to be. I frowned and turned to her, my mind racing with questions. My arm was throbbing again, the pain shooting up into my neck. I paid no heed, however.
What if?
What if?
What if?
What if she really did mean what she was saying? What if I had misunderstood her? What if this was nothing but a dream? What…if?
I stood there, facing her, and suddenly, it was as if my heart had shattered. My angel was standing here before me…crying…and I was just watching her!
"E lyh'd cdyht drec…drec ujanbufanehk cahca uv asudeuh dryd E'ja ryt vun oui." I said, my words spilling out of my mouth as I tried desperately to remember the Al Bhed language I had learned so many years ago, "Hu uha, eh ymm so oaync, ryc banbmaqat sa yc oui ryja. E ryda drec…E ryda vaamehk drec…E ryda paehk hayn oui…yht oad…Rikku, oui yna mega y linca dryd E tuh'd fyhd du pa mevdat."
Rikku stared at me in horror, her mouth agape. She blinked, the silence clouding around us with each passing minute. My heart pounded wildly, almost threatening to burst through my rib cage. Finally, she spoke.
"Since when did you learn Al Bhed?"
"Lord Braska's wife."
Rikku forced a smile and wiped the tears from her eyes, her sniffles stopping gradually.
"You…love me?" She asked hopefully. "But…you told me you hated me at the Thunder Plains…?"
I shook my head. "No. I said I hated love." I stepped towards her, my rough hand cupping her cheek as she did mine moments ago. She gazed into my eyes, transfixed with my every movement. I tilted my head to the side, examining her features. Every little shadow along her face…every little tear that clung to her eyelash… "But I love you."
She smiled; my heart lightening. I leaned forward, brushing my lips across hers as I did many days ago. The fire pulsating in my arm grew nearly unbearable…
I felt dizzy…I remember struggling to feel her arms that were wrapped around my neck…I remember fighting to stay conscious…desperate to hear her heart…
That…was when everything went black.
"That's why you hat e me…" Rikku whispered.
I pulled away roughly and faced about, not able to look her in the eye any longer.
"Auron?" She asked cautiously, "Auron, are you angry with me?"
No. Why would I have reason to be angry with you?
"No. Leave me."
She stepped forward, paying no attention to my words and placing a hand on my shoulder. I jerked away and growled.
"You do hate me, then?"
"I hate love. I hate this. I hate death."
Yes, I hated so many things… When I turned, I saw that Rikku had retreated back to the Inn, the thunder roaring across the skies angrily while the lightning flashed once again, clashing into the clouds.
That was the nightmare I continued to have in my sleep…what I said to her many days ago back at the Thunder Plains after I had kissed her…
I remember when I woke up in the middle of the night; my eyes were greeted by a beautiful field of orange-blonde hair. My chin was resting atop her head, my arms wrapped around her protectively in a tight embrace. She lay facing away fro me, her legs entangled with mine.
Gradually, as not to stir her, I sat up, brushing a stray wisp of hair out of her face. The throbbing in my head had lessened considerably, I noted. I glanced around and breathed a sigh when I saw we were still near camp. Lady Yuna was resting in Lulu's lap; Tidus was propped up against a fallen tree, his head leaned back and his hand still gripped tightly around his sword; Wakka was resting in the middle with his arms behind his head; and Kimahri, too, had dozed off standing up, leaning against the tree nearby, his arms crossed and his spear in hand. I glanced back at Rikku and chuckled as she curled up in the a ball, her knees brought up to her chest as she shivered.
I shrugged off my coat and draped it over her trembling form. A faint sparkle to my left caught my eye. Immediately, my head jerked towards that direction.
Nothing.
Perhaps I was too tired…perhaps I was far too exhausted from lack of rest to even see clearly…I knew these woods all too well and I had heard stories of pyreflies and their little mind games.
As I tried to lay back and drift back into my blanket of sleep, a flash illuminated my eyelid, causing to jerk up quickly. Rikku stirred slightly, but otherwise settled into my chest, her soft breaths on my neck. Curious now, I followed where the glow originally appeared, searching for any sign. Searching for anything that could be making such a light…
Again, the light glittered, but deeper within the forest.
Hesitantly, I followed, eager to see where exactly this was coming from. It seemed with each brief flash of light, I was being pulled out of my camp, lured into some sort of place… It wasn't long until I found my surrounding unrecognizable and I lost myself within the trees, but that didn't seem to matter to me. I kept pushing myself onward, determined to capture that light, willing myself onward…further and further…just a little further…
I kept telling myself to keep going, convincing myself that I would find my way back eventually. I began running frantically, pushing the branches out of my way and panting heavily. I seemed to lose myself then, my mind had been set on nothing but the glow that mocked me, laughing at my lack of speed. If only I could move a little more swiftly…a little faster…
Suddenly, as I pushed myself through the trees, I found myself in a clearing, breathing heavily. Everything was dark now, no glow nor light anyway. I couldn't see the trees, I couldn't see my hands. It was as if the moonlight, too, had been banned from this place. I remember panicking and feeling a sudden sense of anger and disappointment.
What was I expecting?
To this day, I couldn't tell you. I don't know what took over me that evening, but it was for a good reason—though the reason remained in the shadows.
I stood there anxiously, staring into the darkness, half expecting something to happen. I planted my feet firmly into the ground, still pondering what I wanted and what I expected. I remember refusing to leave. The stubborn ox within me wouldn't turn away now, as I had already come this far.
"Auron, the Legendary Guardian," A chuckle, "How is my daughter?"
The calm, quiet voice sliced through the calm atmosphere suddenly, causing me to turn around in shock. As soon as I made a move, the entire forest seemed to just light up, brilliant sparkles and shines filling my eyes. But…the most disturbing sight was standing right before me…
"Lord Braska?" I whispered hoarsely.
He was standing before me, his eyes twinkling and a weary smile on his face. His hands were folded across his chest and his robe was the same one he wore when he had summoned his final aeon...Jecht.
"How is she? How is my Yunie?"
I don't know why, but suddenly I was reminded of Rikku. The way she, too, had called Lady Yuna "Yunie".
"Pyreflies…" I muttered, "They're playing with me…"
Lord Braska only closed his eyes and laughed faintly, heaving a sigh. "Ah, Auron, always finding some state of mind to stay in, always finding some way to look past what you see…"
I smirked, "You know me all too well, milord,"
In my heart—if the dead have hearts—I knew it was impossible for my Lord, my friend, to be standing before me. I knew he couldn't be here…Lady Yuna had seen him herself in the Farplane, according to Tidus and Lulu. But then again, a faint ray of hope in me still wanted this to be real…still wanted my Lord to be standing before me…
Whatever Gods, whatever power…whatever force had permitted him to be here…even if my Lord was just a creation of the pyreflies or perhaps a product of a dream and lack of sleep, I was going to take full advantage of this. He was here, before me, and I chose not to question this blessing.
"Please, Auron," Lord Braska said quietly, "how many times must I ask you to call me Braska?"
"You are a High Summoner. You are my Lord, no matter how many years have past, I will remain loyal to you," I said, "and I must repay you—even in the slightest way—for your noble sacrifice,"
Lord Braska frowned, "Noble…noble….but in vain…"
I hovered side to side uncertainly, not quiet sure of what to say to him, though I had been dreaming of what I would say to him for ten years, I couldn't find the words…
"But you…" Lord Braska looked up at me curiously, "…you died for no apparent reason, Auron. Why would you attack Lady Yunalesca?"
"Revenge,"
Lord Braska sighed. "Revenge is very rash and very reckless…"
I didn't reply. Yes, I had been a fool. Didn't he know that I had been regretting it for ten years? Didn't he know that not a day went by without the stinging memory of myself crawling—half dead—through Gagazet Mountain passing through my mind?
"But I suppose Mistress Fate has it's strange ways," Lord Braska said quietly, "If you had not died…you would not have been able to ride Jecht to his Zanarkand…you would not have met young Tidus…you probably would not be watching over my daughter at this moment, now, so for you sacrifice, I am grateful."
He bowed to me, but I stepped towards him in one stride and touched his shoulder, stopping him.
"Lord Braska," I said quietly, "Why are you here?"
"Save her," Lord Braska whispered, "Please don't let her be so passive and let her marry. No, you promised this to me. Honor me and do not let her condemn herself to such vermin,"
I stared at him in horror, "You know of Lord Seymour?"
Lord Braska merely nodded, "And I know of my niece, who is traveling with you."
I stiffened absentmindedly.
"Jecht would be amused."
"Jecht is Sin,"
Lord Braska only smiled and nodded, "Yes. I'm asking you to watch over them, Auron. Watch over my Yunie and Rikku, and Jecht's son. He has grown stronger, both physically and emotionally."
"He loves your daughter." I remarked.
"You love my neice,"
My eyes widened in shock at his words, but otherwise I laughed softly. "You always knew me, Braska."
"Whatever brings you happiness, Auron. I encourage it. Be happy and do not bask in these horrible times." Lord Braska said quietly, "Remember Jecht's sphere. Nearby, just ahead, he left one for young Tidus,"
I nodded, "I remember all too well."
"Then you should have no problem finding it," Lord Braska said, "I bid you farewell, Auron, and may you find your happiness as well as my Yunie and Tidus,"
"I have found it alright, Lord Braska," I said, bowing to him, "I have found what makes me happy, but I am afraid she will only bring trouble,"
"Do not look upon her as a curse, but a gift, instead." Braska whispered, "But…please, don't let Yuna do this."
"You know I'd never."
Lord Braska chuckled, "I suppose I'm just being a concerned father."
"You know of Tidus' origins and his future, do you not?" I asked.
My Lord smiled and nodded. Same old weary smile he used to wear on our journey…how I longed for death.
"Braska," I breathed, "what is the end of my story?"
Braska smiled, "I don't think the Fayth themselves know what the future will bring, Auron. Patience, my friend. We await you in the Farplane,"
"And…what is the end of her story?"
"I cannot say. Just protect them. Watch over them for as long as you can, Auron." Braska murmured, "Jecht wanted me to tell you…love is real, Auron."
"I think I understand everything, now, My Lord." I muttered, "I think everything is coming together."
"Just remember," Braska said as he waved his staff, causing a nearby caved in crevice open, "Jecht's sphere. And remember, I am but a dream."
I don't know what happened then. All I know, is I woke up in a cold sweat with Rikku holding me.