Disclaimer: Harry Potter is from the creative genius that is J.K. Rowling.
We are not her. This is merely a fan fiction to tide us over until Book 6.
A/N: Poor Ron. This pushes the boundries a little. Hope you enjoy!
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"Ron, I was thinking about movie night," Harry said as he sat down beside his best friend.
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Well, it's our turn to pick the movie?"
"Yes. Merlin! I thought I wouldn't survive that artsy crap Hermione picked last time. I can't believe I bloody wasted two hours watching that. Binns is more exciting," he said indicating his History of Magic homework.
"You don't have to watch, you know."
"I know, I know. But, she would just quiz me later just to see if I was paying attention. It's not like she watches our movies anyway," he said shoving his quill and parchment into his bag.
"Well, I was thinking it would be kind of nice for Alaire if we showed an American movie, a new one."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Name some movies with something American in them."
Ron shrugged, before leaning back in his chair and yelling to the rest of the Gryffindors in the common room. "Oi! Name some movies with something American in them!"
"An American Werewolf in London."
"American Beauty."
"Yankee Doodle."
"There's that one with that Costner guy where he's waltzing with dogs or wolves or something."
"Yeah, then there's that other one with that one kid. What is it — Home Malone?"
"How about an old one? 'A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.'"
"Nah, American Pie."
"The Patriot."
"Wait, go back!" Ron yelled. "What was the one with the food in it?"
"American Pie."
Setting his chair down, Ron looked at Harry. "What about that one? If it's about food, it can't be all bad."
"Sounds good," Harry said. "I'll talk to McGonagall about it but don't mention it to Alaire. I want it to be a surprise."
Ron lifted an eyebrow and gave his friend an appraising look. "We wouldn't be forming some sort of attachment here, would we?"
"What? No. I just thought it'd be more fun this way," Harry stammered.
"Can't fool me, mate," Ron told him as they walked out the door to class. "That's page 38 in the yellow book."
Friday night, Alaire came down into the common room to see it packed full of 6th and 7th years. Looking around the room, she saw Harry, Neville and Ron sitting on the couch talking. She noted that the only one doing any homework was Hermione.
"What's going on?" Alaire asked the three boys.
"Muggle movie night," Neville explained. "Every Friday night, the 6th and 7th years get to pick a movie."
"Really? I thought muggle electronics wouldn't work here?"
"It's a spell," Ron said, getting up. "McGonagall approves the movie then enchants a projector and screen. Pretty handy, actually. My dad loved the idea so much that we now one of those BVD's at our house."
At this, Alaire broke into such loud giggles that Hermione's head snapped up from her book.
"Oh, Ron! You mean DVD!"
She leaned over placing a hand on his shoulder to whisper quietly in his ear. "BVD is slang for tighty whities!"
"Huh?" Ron looked up confused.
Alaire leaned back. "You know."
She made a couple of gestures toward her hips. Ron sat clueless as ever.
Suddenly, she heard a shrill voice say, "She mean's Y-Fronts, you dolt!"
Alaire turned around to see Hermione slamming her books shut. "Seriously, I don't know how you expect anyone to get any work done with all that whispering going on!" Hermione continued to mutter under her breath as she gathered her materials and dumped them rather Ron-like into her bag. Ignoring the amazed stares of her fellow Gryffindors and Ron's bright red face, she turned and in a very, very un-Hermione like way flounced up the stairs to the girl's dormitory.
A few moments later, one could hear a collective release of air as the Gryffindors breathed again.
Alaire turned to the boys, "Once again, my work here is done. What are we watching?" Alaire asked as she bounced onto the couch between Neville and Harry.
"American Pie," said Harry.
"Really?" Alaire asked amazed as she turned to look at all three boys. "Wow. I didn't think that would be approved. I mean, it isn't really a tame movie."
"What are you going on about? McGonagall was so busy that she didn't get a chance to approve it." Ron snapped. "Besides, it's about food. How can food not be tame? I love food."
"Ron, you do know there is a difference between loving food and LOVING food right?" Alaire snickered.
"What are you going on about?" Ron asked
"You'll see," she said.
"Everyone ready?" Seamus asked as he stood at the projection table.
"All right then," Seamus said. "You know the rules. Only 6th and 7th years. The rest of you kiddies get upstairs or we'll give you to Fred and George Weasley for test subjects."
There was a yelp from the corner as two fourth-years made a mad dash to the dorms. Seamus smiled and yelled out "Cinema Octulus!"
For the next hour, one could hear a pin drop in the Gryffindor common room. The silence was punctuated by a few random giggles from the girls or appreciative grunts from the guys.
Alaire, who had watched the movie back in the States, was having more fun watching the faces of her classmates. Ron sat with his mouth open so often that she was tempted to reach over, grab his chin and close his mouth to stop the drooling. Harry kept squirming uncomfortably every time she got within six inches of him. Neville had turned every color in the rainbow within fifteen minutes into the movie. The only person who didn't seem embarassed was Seamus Finnegan. They traded glances once and, with a shiver, Alaire made a mental note to never be alone with him.
"Are you cold?" Harry asked her.
"Hmm. Just a bit, would you mind?" she asked as she placed her head on Neville's shoulder and her feet in Harry's lap. "This is more comfortable."
Neville tensed up as she laid her head down. Merlin, no one had done this before to him. It was weird, not as weird as the movie, but weird nonetheless.
Alaire turned her head to look up at him. "This isn't making you uncomfortable is it?" she asked, giving big puppy-dog eyes at him as she snuggled closer. "I'm just so cold and you and Harry are just so warm."
"No," Neville's voice cracked. "I'm fine," he said as he turned back to the movie.
Finally, it was time for the infamous pie scene. A few disgusted groans went up from the crowd as others cringed or laughed. However, one voice stood above them all. Quite a few heads turned away from the movie to see a distraught red-head near one of the chairs.
"Tell me he didn't!" Ron begged. "Merlin, tell me I didn't see that. I can't eat pie ever again."
"Ron, man, he did," Seamus said with a laugh.
"Someone obliviate me, please!" Ron whined.
"Shut up Ron!" Dean hissed, "We'll miss the rest of the movie."
"I don't want to see the rest of it. That was an injustice to pastry everywhere!"
By this time, Alaire was shaking uncontrollably with laughter. Loud guffaws accented with snorts filled the room. Neville turned to quiet her. "Shh."
Alaire attempted to breathe but the sight of Ron's amazed face set her off again. In desperation, Neville put his hand over her mouth and whispered, "If McGonagall comes in and finds this movie on, we'll be on detention for the rest of the year with no more movies."
Nodding, Alaire swallowed the last of her giggles. Grasping Neville's hand, she pulled it away from her mouth but didn't let it go.
"It's Okay. I'll be good. I promise," she whispered to him. Nodding Neville turned back to the screen while attempting to retrieve his hand only to find his fingers intertwined with Alaire's. Suddenly, the movie wasn't funny at all as his entire body broke into a sweat.
"Oh, no. She'll think I'm a slimy git," he thought as he felt beads break out on his forehead. At this point, Alaire let go of his hand and leaned forward to Harry to ask a question. Neville didn't know whether to feel relieved or hurt.
Eventually, Alaire leaned back on his shoulder and whispered, "If you think this was funny, wait until tomorrow at lunch."
Neville's eyes opened wide as he stared into her mischievous eyes. She gave him a smile then snuggled in to finish the movie with both hands in her lap.
Alaire had been hoping to sleep in the next day, but it wasn't meant to be. As the sun cracked through the window, she pulled the blankets closer to her and tried to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, those other two girls in the door room wouldn't shut up. They were talking very loudly right beside her partition just to irritate her, and it was working.
Grumbling to herself, Alaire formed a cocoon of blankets around her and made her way to the bathroom for her morning ablutions. It was still too early for any sane person to be awake in her opinion, but she managed to get herself out of her warm blankets and head downstairs to the common room. There wasn't anyone there yet, save the head girl who was still finishing homework.
"Morning Hermione," Alaire said sitting next to her. "Those girls won't be quiet. They keep yelling to see if I'm in the room."
"Well, that's what you get for putting that partition up. I do wish you would take it down."
"What are you working on?" Alaire asked leaning over and looking at Hermione's parchment. Instead of seeing notes on various astronomy maters, she saw a little heart with RW + HG in it. "It's nothing," Hermione snapped putting the parchment away.
"Oh," Alaire said smiling. "You know what? I just might be convinced to take that partition down."
"Really?"
"Maybe, but I'd like to do it in a sporting manner. I bet you that I can get Ron to say he won't eat something. If I lose I'll take the partition down, if I win you owe me a favor."
"You mean 'something' as in some American spicy Cajun or Creole food you've concocted?"
"No. We'll go down to the kitchens and politely ask the house elves to make or give us a pie."
"A pie?" Hermione snorted. "You're betting me that Ron Weasley will turn down pie?"
"Yes," Alaire said grinning.
Hermione smiled. "Normally, I don't approve of gambling, however I think it best for that partition to be down so I accept your bet, on the condition that Ron is presented the pie right before lunch, that way I know he's hungry."
"Agreed," Alaire said extending her hand for Hermione to shake. Hopefully this little scheme would get Ron and Hermione together, she thought.
Right before lunch Alaire grinned evilly as she thought about her plan. So far Hermione hadn't heard anything about the movie. The head girl kept telling people haughtily that she didn't want to hear about that "ridiculous film."
It was a half hour before lunch time when Alaire asked Hermione to come to the kitchen with her.
"Hermione, we don't have house elves in the States, so do you mind talking to them for me?"
"You talk to them like anyone else," Hermione said huffily. "They're not slaves or serfs."
Alaire stopped dead in her tracks. "Excuse me?"
"Look, I'm simply saying that you should be more aware of the plight of the house elf. Its very difficult to get anyone to listen to their cause."
"Have you tried suing someone for their release?"
Hermione shook her head.
"Oh. Well, in that case, I'll contact my mother for any legal action you can take. She does stuff like that all the time." "Thank you. It will be nice to have an ally finally." The two girls looked at each other warily neither quite trusting the other, yet. "Now, I believe we are here for a pie?" asked Alaire.
She motioned for Hermione to walk ahead of her. The pie was procured and they returned to the common room. Smiling, Alaire motioned to Hermione that Ron and Harry were sitting at the table. Hermione grinned. There was no way Ron Weasley would turn down pie, she thought as she set the desert down on the table.
The smell of food automatically attracted Ron's attention away from the game of chess that he and Harry were playing while Neville, Seamus, and Dean offered suggestions that Harry knowingly ignored.
"What's that?" Ron asked as his stomach growled.
"A freshly baked pie, just for you," Hermione said handing him a fork.
Harry arched his eyebrow and looked over at Alaire, who was holding back a laugh. The remaining boys just stared at her in bemusement. "
Who baked the pie?" Harry asked cautiously.
"The house elves," Alaire answered. "Its apple pie, Ron."
She grinned conspiratorially at the boys. "You know. It's considered to be the All-AMERICAN PIE."
Ron who was about to take a bite suddenly dropped the fork and looked in horror at Hermione, who had been trying to get him to eat the pie.
"I can't eat this!" he exclaimed.
Hermione's face fell. "What in the world do you mean?"
Shaking his head, Ron just repeated himself, "I can't eat it."
"We didn't do anything to it! Right, Hermione?" Alaire said slyly.
"That's right, Ron."
Ron just continued to shake his head and moved a little further away from the offending pie.
"Honestly!" said Hermione getting flustered. "Don't you believe us? Here look."
Swiftly, Hermione picked up the fork from the table and stuck it into the pie, pulling our a bite from it. She put the end of the fork into her mouth and ate the piece of pie.
"Umm. Good. See Ron," she said as she took another bite of the pie. Juice ran down her chin and bits of crust stuck to her lips. Ron watched as Hermione licked her lips. By this time, Ron was sweating as his eyes darted back and forth between Hermione and the pie.
"Hermione, please stop," he pleaded.
"Why? This is delicious. Come on, Ron, just one bite?" Hermione poured every bit of her charm into the request as she dug her fork into the desert then slowly ate the pie filling off the utensil. Ron's eyes darted back and forth between Hermione, the pie and then Harry. His eyes pleaded for help. Harry just shrugged.
Hermione was getting fed up with everything. "Look, there is nothing the matter with this pie. Do I need to take another bite to prove it to you?"
"No!" Ron said panicking. "I mean . . . bloody hell!"
Quickly he sprang up from his chair and raced as fast as he could up the stairs to the boys' dormitory, leaving a very confused Hermione behind.
"Ron, what in the world is the matter with you?" Hermione yelled as she started up the stairs behind him, only to be stopped by Harry.
"Let Ron calm himself down, Hermione," Harry said as Hermione cast a worried look up the stairs.
"Would he use his right hand or left hand for that," Alaire whispered into Neville's ear before he elbowed her in the ribs.
"Are you sure he'll be all right. I mean I've never seen Ron like that," Hermione said worrying. "Maybe he should go see Madam Pomfrey."
"No," Harry said stifling a laugh. "I'm sure he'll be fine in about five . . . I mean," he coughed to cover up his laughter. "I'm sure he'll all right in time for dinner."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
"Well, I guess I'll just go upstairs and study," Hermione said still looking up the stairs to the boys dormitory. "But if he comes down, you will come and get me, won't you?"
Alaire let out another snicker, which was met with another elbow this time from Dean.
"Yes ''Mione," Harry said as he watched his friend go up the stairs. As soon as he heard her door close, he fell on the floor laughing with the others. Quickly he turned to Alaire. "That was evil."
"A necessary evil?"
"No, just evil. Funny as hell, but evil," he said smiling before erupting into laughter.
"Sorry, but you're the ones that picked the movie."
"We picked it so you'd have something American to watch," Harry said gasping for breath.
"How about I'll pick the next movie? Not that I didn't enjoy watching Ron's reaction or this little spectacle, because it was just hilarious."
The group sat on the couches reliving the moment. The giggles had just died down for the third time when the grandfather clock chimed noon.
"As much fun as this is, my stomach calls. I think I'd like some lunch," Alaire said standing up. "Anyone else hungry?" she asked with a laugh.
She stood and offered her hands to Neville and Harry. Linking arms with them, they headed down to the Great Hall.
Dean turned to Seamus as they watched them leave, "Wow. If she's having lunch, I wonder which one of them will end up being dessert."
A/N: Poor Ron. This pushes the boundries a little. Hope you enjoy!
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"Ron, I was thinking about movie night," Harry said as he sat down beside his best friend.
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Well, it's our turn to pick the movie?"
"Yes. Merlin! I thought I wouldn't survive that artsy crap Hermione picked last time. I can't believe I bloody wasted two hours watching that. Binns is more exciting," he said indicating his History of Magic homework.
"You don't have to watch, you know."
"I know, I know. But, she would just quiz me later just to see if I was paying attention. It's not like she watches our movies anyway," he said shoving his quill and parchment into his bag.
"Well, I was thinking it would be kind of nice for Alaire if we showed an American movie, a new one."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Name some movies with something American in them."
Ron shrugged, before leaning back in his chair and yelling to the rest of the Gryffindors in the common room. "Oi! Name some movies with something American in them!"
"An American Werewolf in London."
"American Beauty."
"Yankee Doodle."
"There's that one with that Costner guy where he's waltzing with dogs or wolves or something."
"Yeah, then there's that other one with that one kid. What is it — Home Malone?"
"How about an old one? 'A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.'"
"Nah, American Pie."
"The Patriot."
"Wait, go back!" Ron yelled. "What was the one with the food in it?"
"American Pie."
Setting his chair down, Ron looked at Harry. "What about that one? If it's about food, it can't be all bad."
"Sounds good," Harry said. "I'll talk to McGonagall about it but don't mention it to Alaire. I want it to be a surprise."
Ron lifted an eyebrow and gave his friend an appraising look. "We wouldn't be forming some sort of attachment here, would we?"
"What? No. I just thought it'd be more fun this way," Harry stammered.
"Can't fool me, mate," Ron told him as they walked out the door to class. "That's page 38 in the yellow book."
Friday night, Alaire came down into the common room to see it packed full of 6th and 7th years. Looking around the room, she saw Harry, Neville and Ron sitting on the couch talking. She noted that the only one doing any homework was Hermione.
"What's going on?" Alaire asked the three boys.
"Muggle movie night," Neville explained. "Every Friday night, the 6th and 7th years get to pick a movie."
"Really? I thought muggle electronics wouldn't work here?"
"It's a spell," Ron said, getting up. "McGonagall approves the movie then enchants a projector and screen. Pretty handy, actually. My dad loved the idea so much that we now one of those BVD's at our house."
At this, Alaire broke into such loud giggles that Hermione's head snapped up from her book.
"Oh, Ron! You mean DVD!"
She leaned over placing a hand on his shoulder to whisper quietly in his ear. "BVD is slang for tighty whities!"
"Huh?" Ron looked up confused.
Alaire leaned back. "You know."
She made a couple of gestures toward her hips. Ron sat clueless as ever.
Suddenly, she heard a shrill voice say, "She mean's Y-Fronts, you dolt!"
Alaire turned around to see Hermione slamming her books shut. "Seriously, I don't know how you expect anyone to get any work done with all that whispering going on!" Hermione continued to mutter under her breath as she gathered her materials and dumped them rather Ron-like into her bag. Ignoring the amazed stares of her fellow Gryffindors and Ron's bright red face, she turned and in a very, very un-Hermione like way flounced up the stairs to the girl's dormitory.
A few moments later, one could hear a collective release of air as the Gryffindors breathed again.
Alaire turned to the boys, "Once again, my work here is done. What are we watching?" Alaire asked as she bounced onto the couch between Neville and Harry.
"American Pie," said Harry.
"Really?" Alaire asked amazed as she turned to look at all three boys. "Wow. I didn't think that would be approved. I mean, it isn't really a tame movie."
"What are you going on about? McGonagall was so busy that she didn't get a chance to approve it." Ron snapped. "Besides, it's about food. How can food not be tame? I love food."
"Ron, you do know there is a difference between loving food and LOVING food right?" Alaire snickered.
"What are you going on about?" Ron asked
"You'll see," she said.
"Everyone ready?" Seamus asked as he stood at the projection table.
"All right then," Seamus said. "You know the rules. Only 6th and 7th years. The rest of you kiddies get upstairs or we'll give you to Fred and George Weasley for test subjects."
There was a yelp from the corner as two fourth-years made a mad dash to the dorms. Seamus smiled and yelled out "Cinema Octulus!"
For the next hour, one could hear a pin drop in the Gryffindor common room. The silence was punctuated by a few random giggles from the girls or appreciative grunts from the guys.
Alaire, who had watched the movie back in the States, was having more fun watching the faces of her classmates. Ron sat with his mouth open so often that she was tempted to reach over, grab his chin and close his mouth to stop the drooling. Harry kept squirming uncomfortably every time she got within six inches of him. Neville had turned every color in the rainbow within fifteen minutes into the movie. The only person who didn't seem embarassed was Seamus Finnegan. They traded glances once and, with a shiver, Alaire made a mental note to never be alone with him.
"Are you cold?" Harry asked her.
"Hmm. Just a bit, would you mind?" she asked as she placed her head on Neville's shoulder and her feet in Harry's lap. "This is more comfortable."
Neville tensed up as she laid her head down. Merlin, no one had done this before to him. It was weird, not as weird as the movie, but weird nonetheless.
Alaire turned her head to look up at him. "This isn't making you uncomfortable is it?" she asked, giving big puppy-dog eyes at him as she snuggled closer. "I'm just so cold and you and Harry are just so warm."
"No," Neville's voice cracked. "I'm fine," he said as he turned back to the movie.
Finally, it was time for the infamous pie scene. A few disgusted groans went up from the crowd as others cringed or laughed. However, one voice stood above them all. Quite a few heads turned away from the movie to see a distraught red-head near one of the chairs.
"Tell me he didn't!" Ron begged. "Merlin, tell me I didn't see that. I can't eat pie ever again."
"Ron, man, he did," Seamus said with a laugh.
"Someone obliviate me, please!" Ron whined.
"Shut up Ron!" Dean hissed, "We'll miss the rest of the movie."
"I don't want to see the rest of it. That was an injustice to pastry everywhere!"
By this time, Alaire was shaking uncontrollably with laughter. Loud guffaws accented with snorts filled the room. Neville turned to quiet her. "Shh."
Alaire attempted to breathe but the sight of Ron's amazed face set her off again. In desperation, Neville put his hand over her mouth and whispered, "If McGonagall comes in and finds this movie on, we'll be on detention for the rest of the year with no more movies."
Nodding, Alaire swallowed the last of her giggles. Grasping Neville's hand, she pulled it away from her mouth but didn't let it go.
"It's Okay. I'll be good. I promise," she whispered to him. Nodding Neville turned back to the screen while attempting to retrieve his hand only to find his fingers intertwined with Alaire's. Suddenly, the movie wasn't funny at all as his entire body broke into a sweat.
"Oh, no. She'll think I'm a slimy git," he thought as he felt beads break out on his forehead. At this point, Alaire let go of his hand and leaned forward to Harry to ask a question. Neville didn't know whether to feel relieved or hurt.
Eventually, Alaire leaned back on his shoulder and whispered, "If you think this was funny, wait until tomorrow at lunch."
Neville's eyes opened wide as he stared into her mischievous eyes. She gave him a smile then snuggled in to finish the movie with both hands in her lap.
Alaire had been hoping to sleep in the next day, but it wasn't meant to be. As the sun cracked through the window, she pulled the blankets closer to her and tried to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, those other two girls in the door room wouldn't shut up. They were talking very loudly right beside her partition just to irritate her, and it was working.
Grumbling to herself, Alaire formed a cocoon of blankets around her and made her way to the bathroom for her morning ablutions. It was still too early for any sane person to be awake in her opinion, but she managed to get herself out of her warm blankets and head downstairs to the common room. There wasn't anyone there yet, save the head girl who was still finishing homework.
"Morning Hermione," Alaire said sitting next to her. "Those girls won't be quiet. They keep yelling to see if I'm in the room."
"Well, that's what you get for putting that partition up. I do wish you would take it down."
"What are you working on?" Alaire asked leaning over and looking at Hermione's parchment. Instead of seeing notes on various astronomy maters, she saw a little heart with RW + HG in it. "It's nothing," Hermione snapped putting the parchment away.
"Oh," Alaire said smiling. "You know what? I just might be convinced to take that partition down."
"Really?"
"Maybe, but I'd like to do it in a sporting manner. I bet you that I can get Ron to say he won't eat something. If I lose I'll take the partition down, if I win you owe me a favor."
"You mean 'something' as in some American spicy Cajun or Creole food you've concocted?"
"No. We'll go down to the kitchens and politely ask the house elves to make or give us a pie."
"A pie?" Hermione snorted. "You're betting me that Ron Weasley will turn down pie?"
"Yes," Alaire said grinning.
Hermione smiled. "Normally, I don't approve of gambling, however I think it best for that partition to be down so I accept your bet, on the condition that Ron is presented the pie right before lunch, that way I know he's hungry."
"Agreed," Alaire said extending her hand for Hermione to shake. Hopefully this little scheme would get Ron and Hermione together, she thought.
Right before lunch Alaire grinned evilly as she thought about her plan. So far Hermione hadn't heard anything about the movie. The head girl kept telling people haughtily that she didn't want to hear about that "ridiculous film."
It was a half hour before lunch time when Alaire asked Hermione to come to the kitchen with her.
"Hermione, we don't have house elves in the States, so do you mind talking to them for me?"
"You talk to them like anyone else," Hermione said huffily. "They're not slaves or serfs."
Alaire stopped dead in her tracks. "Excuse me?"
"Look, I'm simply saying that you should be more aware of the plight of the house elf. Its very difficult to get anyone to listen to their cause."
"Have you tried suing someone for their release?"
Hermione shook her head.
"Oh. Well, in that case, I'll contact my mother for any legal action you can take. She does stuff like that all the time." "Thank you. It will be nice to have an ally finally." The two girls looked at each other warily neither quite trusting the other, yet. "Now, I believe we are here for a pie?" asked Alaire.
She motioned for Hermione to walk ahead of her. The pie was procured and they returned to the common room. Smiling, Alaire motioned to Hermione that Ron and Harry were sitting at the table. Hermione grinned. There was no way Ron Weasley would turn down pie, she thought as she set the desert down on the table.
The smell of food automatically attracted Ron's attention away from the game of chess that he and Harry were playing while Neville, Seamus, and Dean offered suggestions that Harry knowingly ignored.
"What's that?" Ron asked as his stomach growled.
"A freshly baked pie, just for you," Hermione said handing him a fork.
Harry arched his eyebrow and looked over at Alaire, who was holding back a laugh. The remaining boys just stared at her in bemusement. "
Who baked the pie?" Harry asked cautiously.
"The house elves," Alaire answered. "Its apple pie, Ron."
She grinned conspiratorially at the boys. "You know. It's considered to be the All-AMERICAN PIE."
Ron who was about to take a bite suddenly dropped the fork and looked in horror at Hermione, who had been trying to get him to eat the pie.
"I can't eat this!" he exclaimed.
Hermione's face fell. "What in the world do you mean?"
Shaking his head, Ron just repeated himself, "I can't eat it."
"We didn't do anything to it! Right, Hermione?" Alaire said slyly.
"That's right, Ron."
Ron just continued to shake his head and moved a little further away from the offending pie.
"Honestly!" said Hermione getting flustered. "Don't you believe us? Here look."
Swiftly, Hermione picked up the fork from the table and stuck it into the pie, pulling our a bite from it. She put the end of the fork into her mouth and ate the piece of pie.
"Umm. Good. See Ron," she said as she took another bite of the pie. Juice ran down her chin and bits of crust stuck to her lips. Ron watched as Hermione licked her lips. By this time, Ron was sweating as his eyes darted back and forth between Hermione and the pie.
"Hermione, please stop," he pleaded.
"Why? This is delicious. Come on, Ron, just one bite?" Hermione poured every bit of her charm into the request as she dug her fork into the desert then slowly ate the pie filling off the utensil. Ron's eyes darted back and forth between Hermione, the pie and then Harry. His eyes pleaded for help. Harry just shrugged.
Hermione was getting fed up with everything. "Look, there is nothing the matter with this pie. Do I need to take another bite to prove it to you?"
"No!" Ron said panicking. "I mean . . . bloody hell!"
Quickly he sprang up from his chair and raced as fast as he could up the stairs to the boys' dormitory, leaving a very confused Hermione behind.
"Ron, what in the world is the matter with you?" Hermione yelled as she started up the stairs behind him, only to be stopped by Harry.
"Let Ron calm himself down, Hermione," Harry said as Hermione cast a worried look up the stairs.
"Would he use his right hand or left hand for that," Alaire whispered into Neville's ear before he elbowed her in the ribs.
"Are you sure he'll be all right. I mean I've never seen Ron like that," Hermione said worrying. "Maybe he should go see Madam Pomfrey."
"No," Harry said stifling a laugh. "I'm sure he'll be fine in about five . . . I mean," he coughed to cover up his laughter. "I'm sure he'll all right in time for dinner."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
"Well, I guess I'll just go upstairs and study," Hermione said still looking up the stairs to the boys dormitory. "But if he comes down, you will come and get me, won't you?"
Alaire let out another snicker, which was met with another elbow this time from Dean.
"Yes ''Mione," Harry said as he watched his friend go up the stairs. As soon as he heard her door close, he fell on the floor laughing with the others. Quickly he turned to Alaire. "That was evil."
"A necessary evil?"
"No, just evil. Funny as hell, but evil," he said smiling before erupting into laughter.
"Sorry, but you're the ones that picked the movie."
"We picked it so you'd have something American to watch," Harry said gasping for breath.
"How about I'll pick the next movie? Not that I didn't enjoy watching Ron's reaction or this little spectacle, because it was just hilarious."
The group sat on the couches reliving the moment. The giggles had just died down for the third time when the grandfather clock chimed noon.
"As much fun as this is, my stomach calls. I think I'd like some lunch," Alaire said standing up. "Anyone else hungry?" she asked with a laugh.
She stood and offered her hands to Neville and Harry. Linking arms with them, they headed down to the Great Hall.
Dean turned to Seamus as they watched them leave, "Wow. If she's having lunch, I wonder which one of them will end up being dessert."