Obi-wan must teach an abused padawan to trust him
AU: Pre clone war Obi-Wan is a Jedi Master, there is no Anakin, and Qui-Gon is dead
Rating: R for sexual content and mention of child molestation
Disclaimer: Naovi Redsun and Dal Bantalian are my creations. Everyone else belongs to George Lucas
krillball: I'm glad you liked Quest for Identity. I worked on that one for a long time. I started writing it just after I saw the Two Towers and finished it after I saw ROTK. You may have noticed that dialouge in the first part wastaken directly from FOTR, that's cause I had the DVD to go from, LOL after that I kind of had to go from memory. Anyway thanks for reading.
Chapter 20
The journey to Coruscant was only a few hours but it felt like years. Obi-Wan's thoughts were flying a mile a minute. What could have happened that would make Naovi run away from him? And the way she had run? Sneaking away like a thief in the night. He landed on Coruscant and went immediately to the Temple. He found Master Yoda and Master Windu were waiting for him. He did not pause as he hurried to Naovi's room. The masters had to rush to keep up with him.
"Obi-Wan wait," Master Yoda ordered. Obi-Wan slowed his pace but did not stop.
"Tell us what happened," Master Windu demanded.
"I don't know," Obi-Wan said helplessly. "Everything was going fine, the Sava Duez was completed last night, and then this morning she was gone. She snuck off the planet while I was still asleep. From there you will have to fill me in"
"Redsun arrived on the planet several hours ago. We sensed great distress from her the moment she landed but she would not speak to anyone. She went to her room and has not yet come out."
"Most disturbing this is," Master Yoda said.
"I must speak to Naovi," Obi-Wan said turning away. He hurried down the hall and took the quarters that he and Naovi shared whenever they were in the temple. He pushed open the doors to the living space and turned left to her room. At her door he hesitated. His padawan was on the other side and she was in distress. He could sense her turmoil. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
'Go away!' her voice shouted in his head.
"Naovi we have to talk," he shouted through the door.
"GO AWAY!" she screamed with her voice this time.
"I can't do that," he said. "I need to know why you left Java Cruz without telling me." There was silence on the other side of the door.
"Naovi, please talk to me. Why did you run away from me? What have I done that makes you unable to talk to me?" This time the door opened. She stared at him, her expression unreadable.
"You fell in love with me," she said flatly. Obi-Wan felt all the air rush out of his lungs. How could Naovi have know that? He'd been so careful to bury his feelings for her.
"I knew you were hiding something from me when we made love," she said. "It is my own fault really. I should not have probed into your mind if I wasn't prepared to deal with what I saw there"
"Naovi..." he didn't know what to say to her. He had never wanted her to find out, let alone to find out this way. "I did not want you to find out like this, Naovi. But I cannot deny my feelings. I am in love with you." Naovi shook her head and pushed past him.
"You don't love me," she said. "You are confused. You have misinterpreted the affection of a good friend and mentor as love. But what you feel is not real. It cannot be real. These feelings are forbidden..." He stood stock still as he listened to her ramble. Finally unable to hear more he grabbed her shoulders.
"Naovi," he said sharply. "Listen to me. I love you. I love everything about you. Your strength, your courage, the way you walk, the way you smile. The way your eyes get so dark that a man could drown in them. I love you." She shook her head.
"No," she said. "You cannot say this to me. You must not. If the council found out, you could be expelled from the order"
"I don't care about that," he said. With a start he realized that he meant it. He didn't care about the council. All he cared about was the young woman in his arms.
"Don't say that," she said. "I won't let you give up what you worked so hard for because of your delusions"
"My delusions!" he cried in disbelief. "Naovi, I love you"
"Love leads to attachment, attachment to jealousy, jealousy to anger, anger to the darkside. No, you cannot love me"
"You are afraid I will turn to the darkside. That I will try to take you with me? Naovi, don't you know me better than that?"
"I don't know anything anymore," she cried pulling away from him. Obi-Wan stared at her back as she moved to the window.
"Perhaps it is not my feelings you are afraid of, but your own," he said. He saw her spine stiffen.
"I do not know what you are talking about," she said softly, her back to him. Obi-Wan carefully moved closer, slowly as though approaching a wounded animal that would bolt if he approached too quickly.
"You forget my dear that during the Sava Duez your heart was not closed to me. I saw what was inside your heart. I know that you feel the same things for me that I do for you"
"NO!" she shouted bolting around. "No, that is not true"
"You cannot hide from this Naovi. You have feelings for me. You are afraid of them and therefore you reacted in the only you knew how. You ran away"
"You're wrong. I cannot be afraid of feelings that I do not have." Obi-Wan took her shoulders.
"Naovi, do not push me away. Not now. Trust me. Let us go through this together"
"There is nothing to go through," Naovi said pulling out of his grasp. "Please just leave me alone"
"I will not do that," he said.
"Please just go away," she begged him. He took her chin in his hand and turned her so that he was looking directly into her eyes.
"Tell me you don't love me," he demanded. "Tell me you don't love me and I will leave you alone and never speak of this again." She looked at him with her eyes wet with unshed tears and her lip quivering. She swallowed hard.
"I don't love you," she whispered. He felt as though his heart were being crushed as she said it. He searched her eyes desperate to find the lies in her words. She stared hard at him no trace of emotion in her face. He released her chin.
"I don't believe you," he said. With that he turned and left the room.