The next morning, we headed out to the market.
All was well, I gave them the list and they went around, gathering tomatoes, lettuce, beef, etc.
All of a sudden, there was a sudden scream.
I hurried past a few carts and saw Violet, Klaus, and Sunny cowering away from a man wearing a sailor's cap, a black eye patch, and he had a peg leg.
"What's going on, children?" I cried.
"He's back!" Klaus shrieked.
"Count Olaf is back!" Violet cried.
"Venger!" Sunny exclaimed, which probably meant, "He wants to harm us!"
I realized there was no time to comment on Sunny's vocabulary and said, "Sir, what is the meaning of this?"
"I'll get the police!" Violet said, starting away. I stopped her.
"I'm Captain Sham," the man said, giving a little bow.
"No he's not!" Klaus protested. "He's Count Olaf!"
The man gave Klaus a brief scowl, and smiled at me. "I was just on my way to buy some food when I bumped into your sister," Captain Sham said, pointing at Violet.
"Lieurderer!" Sunny hollered.
I blushed. "I'm not her sister," I told the man. "I'm her legal guardian."
"Are you sure?" Captain Sham asked. "You look young enough to be her sister."
I blushed even harder, and the man kept grinning. "Here's my business card," he said, handing a rectangular piece of paper to me. "I own the Captain Sham's Sailboats on the east of Lake Lachrymose."
I noticed a grammatical mistake in his card. When I told it to him, his face contorted from scowl to smile.
He finally said, "Thank you for pointing that out. I'll make a point of it. Well, maybe sometime I can take you four for a boat ride on Lake Lachrymose."
"Ging!" Sunny said.
"No, no, Sunny," I said, frowning at her. "You're not supposed to say, 'ging.' You're supposed to say, 'that sounds lovely.' Well, it's nice to see you Captain Sham."
"You can call me Julio," he said, turning to walk off.
"Aunt Josephine!" Klaus said impatiently, "he's not Captain Sham. He's Count Olaf."
"Ridiculous!" I said. I showed them the business card. "Does it say Count Olaf's Sailboats? No. It says Captain Sham's Sailboats."
"That doesn't mean anything!" Violet cried.
I shook my head. "You said he had a tattoo of an eye on his left ankle, right?" I asked.
They nodded.
"Well, his left leg is a peg leg!"
"He could have just broken his leg and gotten a peg leg!" Klaus argued.
I shook my head again. "Why would a person even as villainous as this Count Olaf intentionally break his leg just to prove he has no tattoo?"
The children argued and protested and pleaded. I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't. But I should have had, which was what led to a lot of trouble.