Sorry it has taken so long. I'll be honest I just haven't felt like writing..lol. Anyway hope you enjoy this chapter..lots of angst in this one.

View of Sirius- #3

Sirius grasped the edge of the table trying to regain his balance. He shook from head to toe as he made his way to the bathroom. He sat down on the toilet and took hold of a small vial of clear liquid, or more accurately, an abortion potion.

Sirius uncorked it and drowned it. He prepared himself for immense pain, after all the wizard he had gotten it from told him exactly what was to happen: extreme pain, nausea, possibly vomiting, headache and fever.

Sirius felt a tear escape. He was killing his and Remus' child but he knew it was for the best. There was a traitor among them and Remus was always here and there and Sirius thought it to be..

Sirius tore himself on the toilet to put his heads in it as he vomited. After a few minutes he was able to regain his breath and sat back. He felt horrible inside and out, emotionally and physically. The pressure and tension that had been among them for the past months was trying and Sirius didn't know how much longer he could take.

He got up and moaned. He walked half bent over to the library where his red book sat. He wrote for a couple minutes until he couldn't stand sitting anymore. He went to the den, which was much closer than the bedroom, and fell on the couch curled up in a ball. He put his face in a pillow and screamed. He screamed until his throat hurt. He sat up and grabbed the nearest trashcan and prepared for another vomit fest. During the middle of it Remus walked in.

"Sirius!" Remus ran over there. "Oh god why didn't you owl me? I would've come home if I knew you were ill!"

Sirius shook his head and put the trashcan down. Remus' worried face looked into his feverish one and Sirius broke down. Remus gathered him up into his arms.

"I'm so sorry..so damn sorry Remus. I had to..I couldn't.."

Remus stroked Sirius' head confused and worried. He hadn't seen Sirius this..emotional since the Willow incident. He got scared.

"Sirius, please love. Calm down, I'm sure whatever you..did wasn't that bad."

Sirius shook his head. "It was..Remus it is," Sirius nearly yelled hysterically.

Remus sat Sirius up and looked at him. "Sirius stop it, I mean it stop!" Remus said forcefully," Calm down. I know everything's been hard with Voldemort and all but.."

Sirius looked at the wall breathing raggedly. Only if Remus knew, only if he could tell Remus what he did. Sirius scooted a little from Remus.

Remus looked at Sirius hurt but he quickly dismissed the feeling. "Remember Albus talked about the Fidelus charm?" At Sirius nod he continued, "Well I talked to James and he wants you to be the secret keeper."

Sirius' eyes went wide and he looked at Remus. "What? No, no he can't."

"He loves and trusts you Sirius like a brother. Besides if anyone is prefect for the idea, it's you."

Sirius stood up and grabbed Remus' hand. "No come on."

"Where are we going?"

"James."

They flooed there and was met by a very surprised Lily and baby Harry.

"Padfoo! Mooey!"

Sirius stopped for a brief moment to smile and give Harry a hug. Then he turned to Lily seriously.

"Where's James?"

Lily pointed to the figure that was coming out of the kitchen. James glanced at Lily and gave her a baby cup for Harry. James frowned.

"What is Sirius? What's wrong?"

"The Fidelus Charm and me."

James sat down on the love seat. "What do you mean? You're perfect for the job."

Sirius shook his and began to pace. "No, you see I've been thinking ever since Albus presented the idea. You should make Peter the secret keeper."

James stood up quickly and yelled, "WHAT!"

Harry jumped and began to cry. Lily glared at James and picked up Harry, who instantly quieted after seeing everything was okay. James looked at Sirius strangely and Remus looked down shaking his head.

"Yes Peter. Voldemort wouldn't dream coming after him. After all Peter isn't the strongest or brightest of wizards and he would be of no use to Voldemort. It's perfect!"

James looked Sirius over and glanced at Lily. She shrugged and sat down holding Harry tightly. Remus sat down and put his head in his hands. Sirius looked at James trying to get him to understand his meaning with his eyes. James closed his eyes and looked away. When he opened them he looked back at Sirius.

"Alright," James nodded, "We'll choose Peter."

Sirius nodded. "I'll get Albus and Peter."

Within the next hour or so Peter was made the secret keeper and the lives of the Potters were now safe, or so everyone thought. While Sirius stayed up late writing Remus tossed and turned. While James and Lily stayed in the comfort of each other's arms little Harry slept. While the rest of the world muggles and wizards alike slept or went on with their business Peter, quiet as a mouse, told his master of the plans.

Voldemort planned his attack and made it. Harry lived while his parents died. Sirius learned that Peter was the traitor and tried to kill him and got sent to Azkaban. Remus was left thinking Sirius was the traitor and a murderer. He had packed up all of Sirius' things and out them in a vault, including Sirius' red book.

There you go. That's all for now, enjoy.