The Power of a Dustpan

by: Sinead Usagi

----------------- Chapter Three: Coming Out of the Closet ---------------------

"They're in here Moony!"

"Prongs, that's a closet."

"I'm telling you, they're in here! Just look at the map, if you don't believe me!"

The crinkling of parchment.

"Oh, I see..."

"WHY ARE LILY AND SIRIUS TOGETHER IN A BROOM CLOSET?"

James sounds furious, I thought to myself as I was rudely awoken. What's he on about?

"Er- I'm sure there is a logical explanation, Prongs, just calm down."

Ah, Moony, always the level-headed one.

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! I WANT AN EXPLANATION!" In my mind I could see a stress vein popping out of his forehead. Behind me, Lily sat up, completely awake.

"Well, why don't we ask them?" Remus again.

"FINE!"

The doorknob jerked back and forth for a moment before James was able to push the door in. Of course, this story wouldn't be complete without me getting walloped with the door again. This time it hit me in the head, and hard.

"Why does the door open inward?" I heard Remus wonder out loud. I saw Lily get up with some difficulty, and stretch out her stiff legs. Then, she helped me up and we both got out of that closet as fast as we could.

"I SEE THE LIGHT!" I said joyously and did as good of a jig as my aching legs would allow. Then, I caught sight of James's face and any feeling of happiness was replaced with the utmost terror.

"Eek!" I hid behind Remus and held him by the shoulders, prepared to use him as a human shield.

"Sirius Black..." he began in a low voice, taking a menacing step forward.

"Yes?" I asked as meekly as I could. I'll admit, the situation did look bad, but he should have some faith in me!

"Explain. This. Now."

He was so upset he couldn't speak in proper sentences. His face was beet red, and yes, the vein was popping.

"Well, you see, the thing is... I was, you know, there for my... you know. Date. And well, you know... she didn't come..." I was feeling a bit overwhelmed, what having just woken up and the light blinding my eyes. I started to feel light headed.

"I was running away from Peeves and he locked me in there, Potter." Lily stepped forward and spoke up. I smiled at her gratefully from behind Remus.

"Oh," James said, starting to look relieved.

Lily smiled at him pleasantly. "We had a lot of fun last night, didn't we Sirius, love?" She gave me what was most definitely a seductive look and there was one thought in my mind.

I am going to die.

Thank you Lily, you'd better throw me an expensive funeral.

James is going to kill me.

James, in the midst of his anger, made a sound like he was about to cry. Then Lily spoke again.

"And as a result, I have decided that I will go on one date with you James Potter."

James stopped approaching me, wand raised, torn between anger and tears, and froze. Then, he turned around slowly to look at Lily, his face mirroring his complete and utter shock. I heard Remus gasp slightly.

"Wha- what... what did you say?" James wasn't sure if he had heard correctly.

There was a pink tinge to her cheeks as she was forced to repeat herself.

"I said, I am willing to give you a chance, Potter."

My grip on Remus's shoulders tightened and we both leaned forward anxiously to see what James would do.

Well, if you are expecting something romantic and spectacular (part of me was, I'll admit) like him bringing her into a Casanova embrace and kissing her- well, you are going to be sorely disappointed. He just sort of... stood there and wobbled back and forth on the spot for a while. It was kind of embarrassing, especially since I had spent the whole night telling Lily how great he is. Even Lily was looking at him expectantly. I sent him mental messages of DO SOMETHING YOU PRAT, but it wasn't working. He eventually blinked, pushed up his glasses and tried to speak.

"O--" his voice came out all crackled and high-pitched. He cleared his throat and tried again. I was squeezing Remus's shoulders so hard that I'm sure he must have been in pain. But I didn't care, no, not me. This was my moment, too!

"Okay."

Just, okay?

"Great."

No way. Now I'm going to kill him. This is the most unromantic reception I have ever witnessed. I glanced at Lily and she was looking at James disappointedly. I saw his hands were balled and he was knocking them against his sides nervously.

Lily, stuck in an awkward situation, bit her bottom lip.

"Okay," she said. "Hogsmeade weekend, then?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. I mean, great. It sounds great. It's really super."

That was too much for me. I had to interfere. I let go of Remus and jumped forward.

"Great, super, good, nice! Everyone is happy now!" I cried, breaking the tension. I leant into the closet and pulled out the dustpan.

"Let this be an eternal reminder of this groundbreaking occasion," I proclaimed, holding it up. I then, ceremoniously tapped each of them on the head with it (I may have hit James a little harder than necessary).

While still, no one said anything, I spoke again: "I think I'll put this on the mantle in our dorm room. What do you say, Moony?"

"I think maybe that should stay here for Filch's custodial duties," he said dryly. "And, we have to go to class. Peter is saving some seats at the lunch table for us, but I imagine you may want to take a shower and change first," he said, and crinkled his nose at me. Darn his superhuman sense of smell!

Remus and I started to walk away, but realized that James was still standing there in front of the closet, staring dreamily at Lily as she walked away. So, each of us took one of James's arms and dragged him away. Once we were a considerable distance from Lily, he snapped out of his daze.

"She finally had a change of heart!" he cried with glee and started skipping down the corridor, rather than walking like a sane person.

"You have me to thank for that, mate." I told him with a knowing nod. "I spent the whole night convincing her what a great guy you are." He laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, right, Sirius. She was probably so sick of your, um, coquetry, that she realized how great I am and how much was missing from her life without me."

James Potter has got to be the most arrogant prat I have ever known. I can't believe he doesn't believe me!

I chose to humour him rather than argue. How great am I? "Ha, I suppose you're right Prongsie! Now what were you thinking of doing for the date?"

"Well, Padfoot, I was thinking..."

As James babbled on and on, I realized that it would take a lot more than actually getting Lily's co-operation to get them together. A lot more. But, hey, that's what I'm here for!

And I'm sure you know that it ends in all extremities. Lily and James fall extremely in love. I get extremely annoyed with myself for setting them up, because I never get to see my best friend anymore. Remus is extremely relieved that I forgot about our bet (which I didn't). And Peter is sitting at the breakfast table, extremely hungry and extremely forgotten.

I guess swearing oaths over a dustpan was pretty extreme too.

FIN.

A/N: Yes! It is now over! I think this is the first time I have finished a story (not for school) that wasn't a one-shot, so this is a pretty big deal for me. Thanks again to all those who reviewed, you make my life so much happier I hope you all have a wonderful summer and go and get Half-Blood Prince!

Oh, and don't forget to review!

Ieyre: I'm glad you thought they were cute. I never really see any fanfics detailing their relationship and I wanted to try it for myself. I imagine they would have grown very close, and had an amusing friendship. Thanks for the review!

Bailz: Thank you so much for reading this chapter in advance for me. Ah, you are so cool! Hope you enjoyed it!

Ginny 424: I thought you said you liked that Sirius was arrogant. I got the impression from the books that both James and Sirius were very conceited, but I think Sirius is aware of it while James isn't. That's just what I thought, anyway ;; thanks so much for reviewing again, I am SO glad to hear you've enjoyed it so far, I hope this last chapter is to your liking as well! Please tell me what you think!

Shub: I've always pictured Sirius (in his good years) as an eccentric oddball, hee hee! Thanks for your review!

Sparkle E. Slugg: omg, I love your name. And all your lovely adjectives fill my heart with happiness! Thank you!

Andrea: Thank you for reading my fanfic! lol, sorry for badgering you so much!