Mutsumi knows - Part 2. A testing time.
After fifteen years, today is finally the day, the last day of the Tokyo U entrance exams, perhaps a good day for the keeping of promises. I haven't dared to allow it to sink in before now, but in just a few short hours I could be reacquainting myself with my old friends, celebrating with them, singing songs just like we used to (maybe not about Liddo-kun this time, or maybe - why not? They were good songs, especially when we changed the words around like kids always do), and then we could be catching up with all the news of fifteen years of life, and talking about the dreams and promises of future happiness at the university. What fun it all could be!
Just one slight worry: I know I'm as ready as I'll ever be, but what about Kei-kun and Na-chan? Are they ready? My protectress said that I'd know when the time came, but surely now is the time, and if there has been a sign, I've missed it! How can that be? Ara, but maybe that moment in the first exam session was the sign and I didn't realise it. The moment when Kei-Kun had almost given up and was leaving early, but Na-Chan stopped him with a shout. Yes, now I think about it, it makes sense. I remember how I felt sure that Na-chan's words had given Kei-kun the confidence to go on and do well. And his reply to her, about how he would keep his promise and get into Tokyo U with her, and how they'd both live happily ever after - that must surely have filled her with just as much confidence and happiness! All I have to do is keep an eye out for them, and see if they still look happy and confident today. If they do, then surely we will all pass together.
So, I'm standing in the corridor outside the exam hall, ready to walk in and give it my best, but first I'm watching the people as they go in, looking out for my old friends. I've made sure I'm in plenty of time today, and I'm tucked away in a corner where nobody's likely to run into me. And I've forced myself to be relaxed, or as relaxed as I can be. Mustn't take any chances! Not today!
Not that I need to worry too much, with my protectress here. I close my eyes for an instant, just to reassure myself of her presence, and yes, there she is, filling me with calmness and reassurance. She smiles but says nothing. Instead she makes a sign, a motion indicating that I should open my eyes again. I do, and I see Na-Chan, showing her entrance card to the man at the hall door. She indeed looks full of happiness and confidence as she sweeps through into the exam hall, and this makes her look prettier than ever. But once again Kei-Kun is not with her. Why? I feel my faint hope returning, that they are just study-buddies, nothing more. Oh Kei-kun, if you are truly free, if you could be mine ... but where are you?
Perhaps my eyes had been closed for longer than I thought. Perhaps Kei has entered the hall while my eyes were closed. But I poke my head through the door and glance around, and all I see is Na-chan and a crowd of strangers. So I settle down again and continue to wait.
But now it's almost time for the exam to start, and I'm starting to get worried. Where is he? I mustn't get worried. Perhaps he has got lost on his way to the hall. Perhaps he has dropped his pass and is looking for it in the flower beds. I decide to look for him, and so I walk out of the building and towards the campus entrance. Surely, if he is on his way, then I will see him coming the other way, towards me. And yes, there he is. But ... oh dear! What has happened to my Kei-kun?
He looks like a picture of devastation. His face - I can hardly bear to look at it, he seems so dispirited. I can see the tracks that tears have been making down his unnaturally pale cheeks. And he is moving, but ever so slowly, shuffling his feet along, not quite in the right direction, as if he is in a daze. Oh, Kei-kun! My mind goes back to an earlier time, when he would get into scrapes and I would make things better for him. Usually it was his knee that he would scrape, and the grown-ups would let me put the band-aid on him, and they would praise me for being a good little nurse. I have a packet of band-aids in my bag now. If only they could make things better!
Then I remember the other thing I used to do, the special magic that could take away any pain. I have to try it now. "Kei-kun", I say to him as I rest my hands gently on his shoulders. "You probably don't remember my face, but please trust me. I am an old friend, and I want what is best for you. I don't know what has just happened to you, but I can see that you are hurt. There's another friend waiting for you in the exam hall, and a promise to keep, so please feel better!" And with that I wrap my arms around his neck, and gently kiss his cheek. It's what I used to do when we were children, but somehow it feels different now, even better than it used to. I feel all warm and comfortable inside. I want to be able to kiss him forever.
But there's still an exam to do, an exam hall to get to! I step back and take another look at his face, and I see with dismay that it hasn't changed. And then I realise what is happening. Somehow, he is sleepwalking. Well, at least this is something I know a bit about, though usually it's me who is doing the sleepwalking and others who are telling me about it afterwards. I know, or at least I've always been told, that it's a bad idea to wake up a sleepwalker, that it can be dangerous, even. So, I'll just have to hope he wakes up soon. In the meantime: "Please hold my hand and walk with me", I say, though I don't think now that my words are registering with him. I take his hand, and gently lead him towards the hall.
I'm at the entrance to the hall. The man sat behind the check-in desk is wanting Kei-kun's pass card, so I look in his bag. Fortunately it's on top of everything else, so I don't have to invade his privacy too much. Keitaro Urashima. So that is his full name. I'll have to remember that. Mutsumi Urashima - wouldn't that be a nice name? Ara. But the man behind the desk interrupts my brief reverie. "Excuse me miss, but there's something strange going on here. If he's taking this exam, shouldn't he be able to do things for himself? And he looks nothing like the photo on the passcard".
I look at the passcard and see that the man is right. But - there is a resemblance. Somehow I feel sure that this is a picture of Kei-kun. Then I see what the problem is, and I turn to Kei. "Smile", I say. ""Please, for me, and for Na-chan, and for your parents, and for any other friends who are counting on you today, please smile". And, amazingly, he does. It is the strangest smile I have ever seen; a smile that somehow seems to be filled with pain, but still it is a smile. And he looks exactly like he does in the photo.
After the check-in man's jaw hits the floor, he says "OK, we just need his signature here in this register, and then he can go in". So I try to get Keitaro to sign in the right spot, but he just scrawls a few random lines all over the page. Fortunately one of the marks he makes is in about the right place. "That's the most illegible signature I've ever seen", the check-in man says. "Is he studying to be a doctor"?
"I'm not sure", I say, "but please - I'm taking the test too, but before you check me in, please make sure that my friend is properly seated at a desk, ready for the exam. I'll be very grateful" And the man does lead Kei-kun into the hall, muttering something under his breath about strange goings-on, while I whisper "please wake up soon Kei-kun, and do your best!" Then I fish out my own card.
What to do? Na-chan looks confident, but Kei-kun looks a wreck, and is sleepwalking. That doesn't necessarily mean he'll do badly, though. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I sleepwalked through the practice tests, and I still got 50 percent. There aren't many people who can do exams in their sleep like I can, but maybe Kei is one of them. I hope he is.
What to do? We're supposed to all pass, or none of us. The promise was that we'd all pass together. Maybe not this year, but sometime, we all have to pass together. So - Na-chan looks confident. I think she can pass. I know I can, if I try hard. So maybe, if I do my very best, my protectress will have to help Kei-Kun. She won't allow Kei to fail, while Na-chan and I pass. She can't! She knows how much that promise means to me. But ...
As the check-in man returns, I hold out my card, but it falls out of my hand. I'd pick it up, but my hand won't move. My whole body won't move. So, why is the man getting further away? Why are the walls and ceiling getting further away? Why is the floor coming closer? As everything goes grey I realise, just a second too late, that I should never deliberately try to force my protectress into any course of action, and I should never even think of doing such a thing.
I wake up to find myself tucked into a bed, with the familiar antiseptic smell of a hospital ward in my nostrils. I turn my head slightly, to see the face of a familiar doctor. He looks concerned and upset.
"Ara, it happened again, didn't it?"
"I'm afraid so, Otohime-san. Kame, I'm sorry! If only I was a better doctor, if only I could find what it is that ails you, and how to cure it, this wouldn't have to happen!"
"But you are a better doctor, silly! You're one of the best there is, and I know you've asked lots of other really good doctors, and none of them can say what the problem is either. So, don't let it worry you. I know you're doing your very best! That's what counts."
"But I feel so helpless! I'm a doctor because I want to help people. And I know you must have really wanted to pass that exam. If you like, I'll explain your case very carefully to the examining board, and maybe ..."
"No. I understand now that I wasn't meant to pass that exam. I have two friends who also took the exam, and I'm sure now that they failed too. I'd prefer to try again next year, and maybe get in together with them. And you do help people, even when it's just by being there for them and doing your best for them. And I know how much you want to find a cure for my condition, and the good news is - you will! I have a protectress who has never been wrong about things like that, and she assures me that you will find a cure eventually. So cheer up!"
And he does cheer up. "Thank you Otohime-san. I think you could be a very good doctor yourself, one day, if you aren't one already!" he says. "Now, we can't hold you here against your will. The exams won't quite have finished yet, and we could perhaps get you there for the last five minutes of them, and then you could maybe check with your friends to see if they really have failed; but I strongly recommend that you rest here for now, and get in touch with them later. Whatever the problem is, it's really something quite serious, not just anemia or spells of faintness. I want to check you over very thoroughly in a short while, to see if there's something we could have missed, so please stay. Rest now, and I'll be with you again in a short time".
So - it would have been nice to chat with Na-chan and Kei-kun today, but I wouldn't be a good patient if I didn't do what the doctor asks. Oh well. Now I have Kei-kun's full name, perhaps I can look him up in the phone book. If not, well I'm sure both he and Na-Chan will want to know as soon as possible how they did, so they'll go to the results centre to see the results soon after they are posted up. I'll just have to turn up there early, before the first results go up, and be ready and waiting for them.
Poor Kei-kun. I suspect he already has an inkling that he failed. I wonder what could have happened to him this morning, to leave him so devastated? Perhaps he had a premonition, which told him he was doomed to fail this year because the conditions weren't right yet. Yes, that might explain it.
Poor Na-chan. Does she know that she has failed? If so, she must be feeling sad now. I wish I could be with her to comfort her, like I was when we were children. Still, she has Kei-kun, and he'll be able to tell her that there's always next year. But what if she doesn't know? What if she knows that Kei has failed, but she thinks that she has passed? She might be blaming herself for messing up the promise by jumping the gun, for passing when Kei-kun wasn't ready to pass along with her! I really will have to try to find them soon, and give them both some reassurance.
To the reviewers: Thanks for the kind words. I'll try to review your works soon.
TornadoReviewer: Since you're a big Mutsumi fan, I'll try not to mess this one up. As for the fic being first person Mutsumi POV - that's something that can be restrictive, but I'll keep it going for as long as I can. That's because I'm trying to put across the notion that there's a lot more to Mutsumi than meets the eye, a lot of hidden depths. The best way to do that seems to me to be to present her innermost thoughts, or at least try to. My plan is for much of the action to dovetail with the established canon (mostly the manga, but with bits borrowed from the anime where they suit my purposes) so if I don't stick to the one POV and to action that is mostly "offstage", there's a danger that I'll end up just retelling the canon story.
Liber Logaeth: I think you're a Mutsumi fan too. I like your notion that her family is actually quite well off. That's the impression I have too, so there'll be elements of that in this story.