Mutsumi knows - Part 4. Results.
I'm the ever-smiling, ever-happy Mutsumi Otohime. At least, that's what my friends always say. but my friends aren't here with me right now.
"Myuh".
"Oh Tama-chan, I know you're my friend, and you do cheer me up. But, I'm missing my family and my friends in Okinawa. And there are two friends here that I'm missing too. Am I destined always to miss them?"
I'm at the results centre, where all the Tokyo University entrance exam results have been posted up. Just for the exercise, I check first in the place where my name would be if I had passed. It isn't there, just as I knew it wouldn't be. Without knowing Na-chan's or Kei-kun's exam entry numbers I can't do a similar check for their names, except perhaps by scanning the entire list, but I know anyway that this would be a futile exercise. I am more concerned to scan the crowds, looking for their faces. The problem is that the small trickle of people that was here at first really is turning into a crowd now. It would be so easy to miss two people, in so many.
I look at the faces of the people who are looking at the list; in every case, I am hoping to see a smile break out, to be followed by wild jubilation. But for about half of them there is something else - sometimes resignation, sometimes despair, sometimes disgust. I watch them slinking away, disappearing quietly into the background. If I don't catch them at the right moment, that is what Na-chan and Kei-kun will probably be doing soon. I have to catch them!
So much sadness. And now I'm feeling my share of it. Not, though, because my name isn't up there on the wall. Of all the people here, I'm perhaps the one most able to face that situation with equanimity. And it isn't the sadness of the failed applicants that is having an infectious effect on me either. On the contrary, it's the sight of the joyful victors that is getting to me. Part of me, the part which is willing them on to succeed, is happy along with them when they do. But, so many of them are with their friends, and their joy is shared. So many people are being tossed up in the air, or swung around in impromptu dances. The success is so much more visible than the failure, it would be so easy to look and see only the success, and imagine that the whole world is getting into Tokyo U, with their friends cheering them on. Part of me is wishing that I could be with my friends now, ideally to share success with them, but to share anything with them would be nice.
Thinking about sharing anything brings me on to thoughts about food. Unfortunately, I only brought a small packed lunch of home-made sushi and watermelon, and that was eaten quite a while ago. If only there was a shop or cafe here! But, even if there was, I don't think I could afford to take the time needed to buy something. Just one glance in the wrong direction, and I might miss them!
I still feel sure that Kei-kun and Na-chan will come - or maybe just one of them. But I had expected they would be here earlier. And all this looking, and looking, at all these faces of strangers, is getting to be too much. I'm aware of how slim the thread is that I'm pinning my hopes on. With my constitution, it would be so easy for me to black out now, and miss them. And, to top it all, I'm beginning to have doubts about what I should say to them when I do finally meet them. I know I'll want to cheer them up - but how will I do that if I'm not cheerful myself?
"Myuh".
I thought at first that Tama-chan was trying to cheer me up again, but she was pointing a flipper. I looked in the direction she was pointing, and saw Na-Chan and Kei-kun, together, both looking at the wall. Either their results are located close together, or they are both looking for the same result. I hurry towards them, this is one encounter I really don't want to miss. But Na-chan starts walking away, and after a second or so Kei starts after her. It's still possible for me to catch up to them, but then Na-chan breaks into a brisk run, and Kei-kun speeds up to match.
"Kei-kun! Keitaro! Na-chan! Naru!" I shout, but if either of them hears me, they show no sign. Probably they don't hear - there is so much sound of celebration going on all around, and Kei is shouting to Naru, and he is preoccupied with catching up to her, and she seems to be preoccupied with escaping from him.
"Oh!" I say to myself, as I slump to a halt. Spots are starting to appear before my eyes. But there has to be more - I can't let today end like this! Fortunately I am prepared though - I had anticipated that something like this might happen. I hold Tama-chan up in front of my face, and kiss her lightly on the snout. "It's up to you now Tama-chan! Please don't lose sight of them! I'll wait here, so you can find me afterwards and tell me where they have gone to!" And Tama-chan, with a reassuring "myuh" and a wave of her flipper, flies off after them. I notice a few people staring after her, and rubbing their eyes. I know there'll be stories in the paper tomorrow, but that can't be helped.
I manage to find a bench, and sit down. I know I have to rest and calm myself, or I'll have another blackout. So I close my eyes, and breathe deeply but gently, and think calming thoughts about rainbows, and fields full of flowers.
"Hello!" says my protectress. I look at her. She is sat at the other end of the bench, which is now in a field full of flowers, with a beautiful rainbow sky overhead, and she is utterly beautiful, and glowing like the sun. "Don't worry" she says. "Yes, this is a blackout, but it is only a brief one, and nobody will notice that you are unconscious. They will see you sat at this bench with your eyes closed, and they will think that you are just resting. I know you don't want to get taken to the hospital today. But, you don't make it easy for me! You should have brought more than a little sushi and a slice of watermelon."
I want to apologise to her, and thank her, but I can't make words come. She is literally too beautiful for words.
"Now, you know why I am here: to protect you; but not from physical danger this time. You are safely seated on a bench, but still you are deeply worried. Please tell me why!"
In the face of her gentle request, I finally find a voice.
"It's about my friends. It's so long since I've spoken with them. I don't think the meeting with Kei-kun when he was sleepwalking counts".
"You will meet them soon, and have a real conversation with them. You can rely on Tama-chan. And your friendship with them will be resumed."
"Thank you, thank you! But what should I say to them? Should I reintroduce myself to them, as the girl they made the promise with so many years ago?"
"The promise?"
At first I'm taken aback. I'm sure my protectress knows all about the promise. But then I realise what she means.
"You're trying to remind me, that there was more than one promise?"
"Yes."
"And I can't pick and choose between childhood promises? I'm here now because I take one promise seriously. But I have to take my other promises equally seriously, even the one that I'd rather forget?"
"Yes."
"Na-chan gets to marry Kei-kun? I have to completely give up on him?"
"That is what you promised Naru."
"But - what if she doesn't remember that promise? And what if she and Kei-kun are just good friends?"
"Then you can remind her about the promise, and she can say that you are no longer held to it. But, the promise still applies, until Naru tells you otherwise."
"I don't know if I dare to remind Na-chan that I made that promise!"
"If you can't remind her, then you should completely give up on Keitaro."
"You're my protectress! Shouldn't you be telling me comforting things?"
"No, that would make me a comforter, not a protectress. My task is to guide you to safety, when you are lost and in danger."
"Oh."
"By the way, Tama-chan has some news for you."
"Myuh!"
I'm still sat on the bench, but now it is in the results centre, and the other end of it is unoccupied. Tama-chan is on my shoulder.
"Myuh!"
"They're in a bar?"
"Myuh!"
"Yes, I can understand that. Ara, I think I'd like to be in a bar too. Please lead me there, Tama-chan! And quickly, I don't want us to lose them!"
"Myuh!"
"Don't worry, I will eat something before I drink!"
"Myuh!"
To the reviewers:
Mantis Man: I think there is evidence in the canon, especially in the Manga, that Mutsumi's memories are a lot clearer than she will admit, and that her mental faculties in general are very sharp indeed. I can't go into this evidence in detail now though without giving spoilers about the probable future direction of this story. Sorry. Also, I'll try to work on the inner dialogue, to make it a bit less like an inner diary. This is all a new departure for me, but hopefully it will improve with practice.
Shinji: Thanks for the very nice jig.
Baka-Tenshi: My intention is to parallel the events of the canon, either Manga or Anime or a mixture of both, for as long as I can. I want to see how much I can stretch this thing before it breaks. But I think I will have to deviate significantly from canon eventually and then, who knows, maybe it will be a KeixMut.