Mutsumi knows - Part 7. Floundering.
I'm lying on the deck of the ferry, recovering once again - but I don't understand. The fall that I remember should surely have been my last. Why am I still alive? The last time I saw this deck, it was from the other side of the ship's railing.
"Hmm? Wow, did I pass out again just now?"
"You were about to fall into the sea!"
Ara! That's Kei-kun's voice. He must have caught me somehow, but how?
"Oh goodness me! I think that would be quite dangerous!"
Why is that the best thing that I can come up with to say? My mind is in a turmoil. He saved my life! And how did he even manage to be close enough to catch me? Just a short while earlier he had been some distance away, with Naru. But never mind about that, how is not important, the important thing is, he saved my life! The enormity of that thought is so great, there's little room in my mind for anything else. He saved my life!
There's a critical part of my mind which complains whenever I have the same thought over and over, as often happens just before a blackout. I expect it to kick in now...
He saved your life! Don't just stand there, thank him for it. He saved your life! Thank him for it! He..
Oh.
"Thank you, Urashima! You saved my life! I owe you more than I could ever repay you!"
"Er, you aren't ... unhappy, that I stopped you?"
What? What can he mean? ... Oh, I see.
"No, I assure you that my fall was not deliberate, and I have never been more glad of anyone's intervention. Don't worry, I would never take my own life".
"But about the envelope in your bag! It had final testament written on it."
He saw that. Perhaps I should have pushed it down further into the bag - oh, but if he hadn't seen it then he probably wouldn't have been in a position to save me. Thinking about it, I'm really glad that he did see the envelope - and that he didn't get to read the contents. I thought my luck would desert me when my protectress disappeared, but obviously that hasn't happened. Maybe it's residual luck, still clinging to me now even in the absence of my protectress? If so, how long can it last?
But now, even though I really don't want Kei to know the full extent of my frailty, it seems there's no choice.
"Oh that. Well, since my body's so weak, There's no knowing when I might just, you know, croak. Just in case."
There were some doubts in my mind, once. Such as: What if Kei-kun has changed over the years? Why does Na-chan describe him as a pervert and an idiot? Could there be some grain of truth in what she says? Should I really be basing my life plan on promises I made as a child, fifteen years ago? But now all those doubts are gone. Naru is wrong. Keitaro is still the heroic and gentle Kei-kun that I know, and if there is any way that I can be his, then I will find that way. And if not, well... what matters is his happiness, and what he wants.
In our cabin, shortly afterwards, I lean over Kei-kun's shoulder to see what he is looking at (and, to be honest, because I just want to bask in his presence). It's an album of print club photos. And - I can't believe it - it's just like my own album.
"Would you like to see my album?" .. "Really? You like print club booths too?" ... "All of mine are by myself, see?" .. "Wow, just like me" ... "I can't resist the regional frames" ... "I found a Gamera-3 frame in Kyoto" ...
Once again we have a perfect meeting of minds. Our shared hobby gives us a topic of conversation that could keep us occupied and happy for a long time. Only ... I'm not sure that I'll ever want to take a photo of myself alone in the future. I have to ask:
"Would you like to take a print club picture with me tomorrow? In commemoration of our meeting?"
"Huh? I mean um m...of course."
He agreed! I can't believe it! When I have a picture of myself with him, I will treasure it so much. It will have pride of place, on a page all by itself. I'm thinking this as I turn the page of his album ...
Oh.
Oh...
How can one tiny print club picture be so devastating?
"Tell me the truth, you have a big crush on Naru, don't you?"
The redness of his face tells me all I need to know; as if I didn't know already.
"I knew it. I'll help you tell her".
And I did tell her, when I found her later in the showers. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I care too much about Kei-kun to allow him to just pine away with his thoughts kept to himself, and Naru is a friend too. I hope that she would do the same for me, if the roles were reversed. I hope I did the right thing; and I hope I can still win, despite doing the right thing. If only I could tell Kei how I feel about him. If only I wasn't bound by my childhood promise to Naru!
And now we are finally on Okinawa island - in Naha, the main port, to be precise. I would like to show my friends the sights of the town, not least in the hope of passing a print club photo-booth, but Naru is eager to get me home and to get herself and Keitaro away as soon as possible, and she is effectively in charge. I take them in the direction of the local ferry terminal, explaining that I actually live on an island very close by, but Naru decides that she can't afford to spend any more. I tell her that it's just a short journey, and that I'll pay her back when I get home, but Naru is adamant. So another short hitch-hike puts us at the point on the main island which is closest to my island.
While Naru and Keitaro are admiring the beach and adjacent quay, I get the family's emergency inflatable raft out of our quayside locker. They are surprised to see me inflating the raft.
"Where did you get that from?"
"Oh it's just something I always keep on me in case of emergencies" I reply.
"Ara, just kidding. The family has a locker here, and this raft is kept in it for emergencies just like the one we're facing now."
"Are you sure it's safe to go into the open ocean on a thing like that?"
"Oh, I have done it before, with my father. It really isn't too far to our island".
Well, that was what I thought. But it doesn't take long for me to realise the importance of having a good rower. My strength is soon exhausted, and Kei-kun is not an expert in rowing, and Na-chan doesn't seem to want to try. This is turning into a very long day. And without my protectress (and I have tried several times now to see if I can contact her) I could even have put my friends and myself into danger, because of my moment's thoughtlessness. The thought of that makes me feel cold in the pit of my stomach.
"Ara, I see your point now! My bad!"
Still, we are together. I'm sure we'll be OK if we all support one another.
Kei tries to break through the feeling of depression that was settling over us, by changing the subject: "Mutsumi? This might seem like an odd thing to bring up at a time like this, but ... are you planning to go for Tokyo University next year?"
"Oh yes, I certainly intend to."
"Wow, that's amazing"
"What about you, Urashima?"
"Well I'm still debating what to do. I mean it'll be my third year"
Oh dear. You've been so determined, for fifteen years. Could the promise really be fading from your mind now, just as it is so close to being fulfilled?
There's no option now. I have to remind Kei-kun about the promise, which means I have to tell him and Na-chan about my part in it.
"Oh, I ..."
But Na-chan interrupts: "Not to be rude, but let's talk about things of a less pressing nature after we get out of this little predicament?"
She may have a point, but unfortunately this soon leads to another argument between her and Kei-kun.
" .. You don't have to be so snippy. The reason we're here in the first place is because you were too cheap to pay for a real boat."
"Oh, if we're playing the blame game, then you losing your wallet has just as much to do with this as me being cheap!"
"I didn't choose to lose my wallet!"
.. and so on, with enough animation to make me fear it would come to blows. And then "Oh my God! We're sinking!" "We must have sprung a leak!"
It's a good job we're so close to my island, Something must still be looking after me.
"We're gonna drown!"
"Noooo!"
"Ara, what do you mean? There's no need for panic. We're nearly there!"
But Na-chan and Kei-kun are floundering, and don't seem to notice what I'm saying. They fall overboard, and start flailing about in the water.
Ara, how can they not see? And then I realise ... Kei-kun, because he was rowing, was facing away from the direction we were going in. And Na-chan isn't wearing her glasses.
"Please, don't struggle in the water. Just hold on to the raft, and everything will be OK".
But they continue to struggle. "Kei-kun, Na-chan, please don't drown! I'm sorry that I did this to you. I promise it will never happen again!"
I dive off the raft and try to drag them to the shore. Fortunately the water is shallow enough so I can wade, I don't have to try to swim while dragging two struggling bodies. Even so, I do get hit a few times, and being on the receiving end of Naru-punches makes me understand for the first time what it must be like for Kei-kun. Finally I get them ashore, they're both alive, but they've both swallowed some water and are limp and unresponsive. I give them both CPR until they are breathing normally and have normal pulses. When I'm fairly sure that they're going to be OK, I wade out again and pull the waterlogged raft ashore.
"Hi mom! I'm back, but we're on the beach, and I'd like to stay there with my friends for a while. I've just come in to find two swimming costumes, one for me and one for Na-chan. And maybe a little dry firewood."
"Let me guess, Mu-chan. You think you have a better figure than Na-chan, and you want Kei-kun to notice? You really don't need to try so hard."
"Ara, you know me too well, mom! Actually Na-chan has a very good-looking body, especially her legs, but my waist is narrower than hers and my boobs are bigger. I hope Kei-kun appreciates an hour-glass figure."
"By the way, Mu-chan, there's a letter for you just arrived today that might be interesting. It's postmarked Hinata. You never told me if you got to see Granny Hina there."
"Oh, sorry mom, I forgot. Granny Hina isn't there any more, and the place is an all-girl's dormitory instead of an inn."
I read the letter:
"Dear Ms Otohime,
I'm the woman who runs the tea-house near Hinata-sou. I'm sorry that I didn't get to see you when you were here, but I was actually in the Hinata-sou, trying to keep the old place in order. It's amazing that our paths didn't cross.
I vaguely remember an Otohime family from Okinawa that stayed at the inn when I was younger. Are you their daughter? If so, please give my regards to your family. It is my nephew Keitaro who you really wanted to see, because he is the kanrinin now, but he wasn't well when you called. He has since recovered, but he has disappeared on a trip so in his absence I am dealing with the Hinata-sou's correspondence.
I'm afraid I can't help you at all with your inquiry, because although I do have some registers they are for an annex that was boarded up years before the time that you are interested in. If there are any registers for the main Hinata inn, then only Granny Hina knows where they are, and she hasn't left a forwarding address. Sorry about that. I hope you find what you are looking for anyway.
Sincerely,
Haruka Urashima"
Wow. You have helped me more than you could ever realise, Haruka-san. Thank you.
I pass the letter to my mother, because I know she will be curious about it, and I go to find the things I need before returning to the beach.
Back on the beach, I see that Naru is up and about already, so I explain to her that I've been to gather some firewood, and together we build a fire near Keitaro, so he won't get a chill. Then I tell her that I just happen to have a spare bathing costume, and after checking that Kei is genuinely still out and not peeking she hides behind a rock (just in case) and changes. And then we have a really fun time, playing on the beach and splashing about in the water. All we really need now is for Kei to join us, and I think my happiness will be complete. And now, Kei is awake and sitting up.
"Hey! How About it? Keitaro, why don't you come and join me for a swim?" I shout.
It's really going to happen! All three of us together, playing and having fun. I'm so excited. And, during a very long day, I've managed to do some strenous rowing, and to rescue my friends, without collapsing. Maybe even my health is on the mend! Things are really looking up. But in that case, why is everything turning grey? Oh.
Once again I'm lying down, recovering from a collapse. But this time I nearly drowned; and the same is true of yesterday's collapse. And it's happening at least once a day now. In Kyoto it was three times in the space of just a few minutes. And I no longer have a protectress. Where are you, protectress? Did I say or do something wrong, to make you go away? The way things are going, I'll have to stay at home for my own safety. But what then about Tokyo U? What about my promises? What about all the things that I wanted? And, even if I could get everything else that I wanted, would I want my Kei-kun to marry an invalid?
But I don't want to upset my friends with thoughts like that, so I say: "I'm sorry. I guess that I just overdid it again."
"I'm gonna go get some more water" Says Naru.
"Good Idea. Thanks Naru" replies Kei, and Naru goes off on her quest.
"Are you cold Mutsumi? Is there anything I could do?"
"Thanks Keitaro. I'm fine now".
Just your presence here is enough to make me feel better.
But Naru is gone for a while, and as the minutes pass I think about what Kei-kun has said. Is there anything he could do? "Keitaro", I say. Once again I reach up and remove the glasses from his face. Once again time melts away, and we are five-year-olds making a fateful promise, a promise that is to be sealed with a kiss. He seems to be transfixed, but I am not holding him. He could break away easily at any time, but he does not. I lean forwards ...
No! What about the promise to Naru?
But this could be my last chance! If my failing health keeps me here. If my dreams die here, I won't have even a print club sticker to remind me of what might have been. Naru will have him for the rest of her life! All I want is this one moment to treasure... and so my lips meet his, and he does blush just like that first time, fifteen years ago. This is .. what .. my third kiss? Not counting family and Tama-chan, of course. First was with Kei-kun, second was with Na-chan. No, I realise, this is a continuation of my first kiss. In this timeless moment, a single kiss that spans fifteen years and will be remembered in the decades to come.
"Auugh! What are you doing?"
says Keitaro, as he leaps up. And suddenly Naru is back and she drops the bottle of water that she is carrying.
"Naru! It's not what you think!" wails Keitaro, as Naru runs and he chases after her.
And I am alone.
"Guess I messed things up again" I say, to no-one.
I suppose I had been hoping that he would return the passion: embrace me, prolong the kiss, or something. That's what happens in the films, and the romantic novels. I might have settled for anything except "Auugh! What are you doing?" - but perhaps the response I got was no more than what I deserved. I was breaking my promise to Naru, after all. I wasn't stepping aside and letting her win. What a promise to be saddled with.
I have to talk to Naru about that promise! I have to ask her to nullify it!
But, judging by Keitaro's response just now, I'll have a real mountain to climb if I want to win him. Judging by my state of health, I won't live long enough anyway. It does seem to be Naru and Kei that are destined for one another. Perhaps I should leave it at that.
My train of thought is disturbed by a shout of "Keitaro", in an unfamiliar voice. There's a boat just offshore. I recognise two of the girls on deck as ones that I met when I visited Hinata-sou, so presumably the others are from there too. Will the ones who have seen me before recognise me? But they don't seem to notice me, their attention is focused only on Naru and Keitaro.
They're telling Naru and Keitaro not to commit a love-pact suicide. Good advice, I suppose. I can't imagine Na-chan and Kei-kun needing it, but it works wonders for my depressed state of mind. Na-chan and Kei-kun must both be special people, to have such special friends who will seek them out through thick and thin - and how did they find them? It seems impossible.
And now, because surprises never come singly, I see also my uncle's trawler, hoving around the headland at the end of the beach, just offshore. He's waving to me, and his dog is on deck too, tail wagging. I'm reminded of all the family and friends I have here, and suddenly I feel much better.
"Uncle! Pochi!" I wave to them.
"Mutsumi, it's good to see you! I didn't think you'd be back yet!"
"Nice to see you too" I shout, as the trawler continues into the distance. It's a pity we can't have a longer conversation, but obviously there are fish that have to be caught.
"Back?" says Naru.
I've been rumbled.
"Oh, I thought this place looked familiar! It isn't really a deserted island. It's really the back of my own island. My house must be just over that ridge! Sorry about that."
Naru is very eager to leave, and wants to swim out to the boat where her friends are aboard. I only just manage to persuade Naru and Kei that my family's house has a couple of very nice guest rooms, and that they should sleep in a comfortable bed for once. The boat can moor up in the harbour just around the headland, and they can board it tomorrow without having to get wet. And I ask them when they will be departing, so I can set my alarm for before then. I wouldn't want to miss their departure!
House. Sleep. Alarm. They are so eager to leave. Dawn has only just broken, but they are up and ready to go.
I have to give my friends something, a gift which they will keep and treasure, and which will remind them of me and of this island. The gift of the princess to Taro in the fairy story was special, but it wasn't enough to entice him back to her. But what can I give, that would be better?
And then I remember, the ending of the fairy story may have been sad, but the rest of it was happy. And, it was a turtle who led Taro to the Princess in the first place.
"Tama-chan, you are my friend, and I won't do this unless you agree; I want to give you to Kei-kun and Na-chan, so you can help them like you've helped me."
"Myuh"
"Tama-chan, I know you will enjoy life with my friends. They have their very own hot spring for you to play in, and they will look after you and love you just as much as I do. Please, Tama-chan, look after them and their friends. They are your family now. And I will try to get to Hinata and visit you just as soon as I can. Goodbye."
Then the Lady Otohime gave Urashima Taro a beautiful Tamate-box and said, "Please accept this gift as a token of farewell. It will bring you great luck, if you keep it unopened."
Ara, those are words from the fairy tale! But my words to Kei-kun are similar, only this is a box to be opened, and no misfortune can befall from the opening of it. I pray that this makes it a better gift than the one in the story.
And then, for Na-chan, to make up for all the pain I have caused her, a kiss.
And then it's goodbye.
As I walk back from the harbour to my house, I wonder if I have done the right thing. I've given a special gift, but is that enough? And if it isn't ...
Am I destined to give away all of my friends, one after another? First Liddo-kun, and then kei-kun, and today Tama-chan, and who-knows-what tomorrow?
I know, I know, a Liddo-kun doll isn't a friend, but it was to a five-year-old girl who watched all the episodes and sang all the songs. Na-chan was The Professor, and I was Big Dummy, and Kei-kun was Liddo-kun, and the doll was Liddo-kun too. And in the end I gave away not just one Liddo-kun, but two. I never realised it before, but maybe the name of my Liddo-kun cartoon character persona was/is too accurate as a description of me.
I get back to the house and mom is there, smiling.
"I'm sorry you didn't get to see my friends, mom. They were so eager to leave, they got up almost before dawn".
"Oh but I did get to see them, silly! You didn't think I could resist taking a peek, knowing they were on the beach?"
"Does that mean you saw ... everything?"
"Of course. That's why I wasn't at home when you took your friends to the guest rooms. You beat me home. By the way, was that our emergency raft that I saw on the beach?"
"Yes"
"Oh, but nobody has used that since the road bridge was completed, so nobody has checked it out for leaks for at least a couple of years. It could have been dangerous! I hope you won't do that again!"
"Ara, I'm sorry mom".
"And why did you use it anyway? Oh, I can guess .. you didn't tell them about the road bridge, did you?"
"Ara, I suppose it just slipped my mind. Er, what did you think of Na-chan and Kei-kun anyway?" I ask, trying desperately to change the subject.
"I think I can see now what has been driving you, and also why you have been holding yourself back in your exams. You have made a good choice, I think, but I suspect that Na-chan will provide you with stiff competition. And if he is kanrinin of a girl's dorm, who can say what other competition there will be, that you don't know about yet? I think that even though you've only just got home, you need to visit Hinata soon."
"Thanks mum. I'm so glad that you always understand. But, my health has been bad, especially over the last few days. I may not be well enough to go anywhere for a while."
"Then you'd better have a lie down, and rest. I think you push yourself too hard, and people don't realise because of your happy-go-lucky appearance. You've just had a tough journey! Relax!"
And so I'm lying on my bed, trying to feel the calmness at my centre. I visualise the changes of fortune that have been buffeting me as a thunderstorm. The flashes of lightning are bright, but they cannot harm me; and as I get closer to the centre of the cloud it becomes lighter and fluffier. I pass through the silver lining, and I am in a brightly-lit multi-coloured cotton-wool landscape where everything is calm. I recline and stretch my arms until my body is totally comfortable, all the while letting fresh waves of calm sweep over me.
"Nice here, isn't it?"
The soft clouds around me may be beautiful, but they are nothing compared to the radiant being which is resting beside me.
"Protectress! I missed you!"
"I have told you before, I'm not a guardian angel and I won't always be with you. You should understand that."
"But why are you here now, and why weren't you here when I felt I needed you?"
"You were mistaken about needing me. On each of the occasions when you sought me and I wasn't there, you were safe in the presence of a powerful protector. Keitaro was near, and looking in your direction, and he would not have allowed any harm to befall you."
"But .. when I ran in a panic through the train station, it was because I thought I was unprotected and in danger .. you allowed me to think that, didn't you? Because you knew that I would eventually run into Keitaro?"
"I'm not a guardian angel, and strictly speaking I'm not a goddess either, though some would describe me in such terms. But I do sometimes move in mysterious ways, though I say so myself."
"I see .. I think. So, why are you back now?"
"As I said, this is a nice place you've built, in this cloud. I like it. Actually I shouldn't say this, because as the protectress of twenty-five worlds I'm not supposed to have favourites, or to form attachments of any kind. But I made an exception for Tama-chan, and I'd like to make another exception for you. Mutsumi, can I call you Mu-chan?"
Thanks again for the positive reviews. Please continue to let me know what you think, whether good or bad. In an attempt to forestall one possible criticism: I really do intend to deviate significantly from canon, probably fairly soon. This is not intended to be just a retelling of the canon story from a different perspective.
One question: I'm not sure about what is an ideal chapter length. I think my chapters have been getting gradually longer, and I have a feeling that this one is maybe too long.. Is it, or is it just right, or should it be longer still? Thanks for your opinions.