Mutsumi knows - Part 10. How did we get to be here?
Naru and Keitaro are on deck, talking.
"Remind me, Naru, how did we get to be here?"
"Well, Mutsumi did make a compelling case, about how beautiful Okinawa is at this time of year".
"Yes, but running away again, so soon after the the last time? The girls'll go ballistic! And Haruka! If she has to look after the Hinata-sou again because I'm away again ...".
"Well we did help her out an awful lot at the beach teahouse. We really need a holiday just to recover from that holiday! And Mutsumi did say there was a radio telephone on the trawler that we could use, so you can call Hinata-sou and tell everyone what we're doing. It's not as if they'll think we're eloping again."
"We'll have to telephone, yes ... but I'm not looking forward to that call. Like I said, the girls'll go ballistic. And another thing, we don't even have any of the items we'll need, like a change of clothes for instance."
"About that, Mutsumi did say it would be an all-expenses-paid holiday. I think that might be what swayed it for me ... I'll definitely need more than the clothes I'm standing up in, and it'll be nice to have a few new clothes at somebody else's expense."
"Naru! You aren't really Naru, are you? You're really Kitsune in disguise!"
"And when did y'all manage to work that out about little old me?"
"Ha ha. But that still doesn't really explain how we got to be here."
"I think it was the way Tama-chan flew to the top of the trawler's radio mast and wouldn't come down. We couldn't have gone home without Tama-chan. The other girls would really have gone ballistic in that case!"
"Yes, I think that's it. That's the reason!"
I've been listening in on this conversation. It can't be helped really, there aren't a lot of opportunities for privacy on the trawler. The night shift crew are asleep in the sleeping-cabins, and no matter where else you go somebody's likely to overhear what you say. I join in:
"Naru, Keitaro, I'm sorry about this trip being so spur-of-the-moment. I've had a word with Tama-chan, and she promises she won't be naughty like that again. We will be stopping at a port soon - my uncle did catch a few fish on the way up from Okinawa, and he needs to unload them. I can buy you some clothes and other essentials when we stop, or if you've changed your minds I'll give you your train fare home. I didn't mean to kidnap you and keep you aboard against your will!"
"No, it's all right Mutsumi", says Naru, "I'm glad to be on this trip really, and I'm sure Keitaro is too. And ignore what I said about you paying for me, I've got my credit card, I can afford to buy myself a few odds and ends."
"Ara, we'll have to argue about who foots the bill later, but for now, thank you both for coming. I really am very glad to have you both with me. And how about kicking off our first official ronins study group meeting? I don't have any textbooks, but I do have a test paper, and I can show you my secret method for multiple choice questions. I haven't shown it to anyone before!"
"You get a pencil, and you write the numbers one to six on it..."
"You're just rolling the pencil! Mutsumi, please don't tell me this is how you've gone through your entire education! It would explain how how your grades can be so bad."
"But I only roll the pencil if I've been looking at a question for an entire minute without getting an answer. And I always make a note of which questions I rolled the pencil on. If it's a two hour paper with sixty questions, at the end of one hour I've looked at every question, I've given an answer to every question, and I know that I've got a lot of the answers right. Even on the questions where I rolled the pencil it's a safe bet that some of my answers are right. That's a good position to be in. I can pass even if I collapse at that point, which has happened once, and if I don't collapse I have a whole hour to try to do even better! That hour is spent looking at questions that I've already had a good look at, and my subconscious has had plenty of time to sort them out. Questions that looked impossible first time around can seem easy when you tackle them a second time!"
"Compare that with where I'd be if I froze because I got stuck on the first question, or if I sank into despair because all of the first few questions were stinkers, or if on the other hand I went into a reverie because I'd looked at all the questions without answering any, and they all seemed too easy! Why, I might wake up from that reverie with only a minute of the exam left to go! Not that anyone'd ever really fall into any of those traps, of course, but my method did actually help me once because some of my answers were out by one. I mean, I knew the right answers, but I'd marked the wrong boxes by mistake. Having to go back over the paper meant that I spotted that error while there was still enough time to do something about it!"
"Wow Mutsumi", says Keitaro, "you really have given this some thought! Okay, I'll try it, just to see how it goes."
"Right. You have to be sure you have a good eraser. And it helps if your watch has timer and stopwatch functions, but you can use an ordinary watch "
-
"Okay, Mutsumi, I'm stuck on question one, and a minute has passed. so I suppose it's time to roll the pencil ... four."
But Naru has been looking at the question too. "You dummy Keitaro", she says, "how can you get stuck on such an easy question? It's obvious that five is the right answer."
At this point a big wave hits the boat. the deck tilts, and the pencil starts rolling again. When it stops, five is uppermost.
But I've been looking at the question too. "Are you sure, Naru? Don't you have to divide by the square of the hypotenuse?"
Naru looks again at the question, and her face turns red. "You're right! Er, so that means ... the fourth answer is the right one."
The boat tilts again, and the pencil rolls again until four is uppermost.
"Please stop that!" I shout.
"Who are you shouting at, Mutsumi?"
"Nobody. I'm sorry, this method doesn't actually work very well on a moving boat. Let me show you another of my secret techniques instead..."
We're in the changing rooms at a clothes shop, near a harbour, where we have stopped on our way to Okinawa. This is the first chance I've had to talk to Naru without the possibility of Keitaro overhearing.
"Naru, you look really cute in that outfit. Please let me buy these things for you - I've been feeling guilty about the way I've treated you, and I want to make it up to you if I can."
"Feeling guilty? What about? If it's about that bowling game, I don't see how you could have cheated, and anyway it was only a game."
"It isn't just that game. In fact it's ... everything. I have a confession to make, but I don't even know where to start. Maybe when you've heard what I have to say you'll want to take a train home after all, and take Keitaro with you, but I have to get this off my chest anyway. Do you remember, six months ago, I told you that Keitaro had feelings for you?"
"Er, yes" says Naru. She sounds a bit worried, as if she's wondering where this is going.
"I still think that's true, but at the bowling alley I found myself hoping that his feelings for you are just lust, not true love."
"Of course his feelings are lust. He's a pervert, and an idiot, and he has no redeeming features whatsoever! But why would you hope for something like that?"
"Because I like him."
"What?"
"But don't worry, Naru, I would never steal him away from you, not if you really love each other! You're my friend too, and I want what's best for both of you."
"Oh. Mutsumi, there really is nothing between me and Keitaro. He's looking for his 'promise girl', that he made a promise with many years ago, and he thought that I was the one, that's all. If you want to go after him then that's up to you, but I really think a girl like you could do better. Anyway, having thoughts about Keitaro isn't the same thing as treating me badly. What makes you think that you have treated me badly?"
I say: "Naru, I can't help feeling that despite your protestations there's something between you and Keitaro, maybe something that you don't realise is there. And even if you're absolutely sure that there's nothing there right now, I still believe that a beautiful relationship could blossom between the two of you, given time. I can't step in between you without feeling some guilt, because of that. A part of me hopes that the feelings between you will deepen, even while another part hopes that he will notice me."
"That's ridiculous." replies Naru. And maybe it is.
Why can't I bring myself to talk about the promises? I must force myself. I must.
"Naru, it isn't a coincidence that we met last night, or even that we met in Kyoto six months ago. I think you had your suspicions about me right from the start, and wanted to challenge me, but you were too polite, or too unsure, to say anything. Your suspicions were actually well founded, though. There's a lot that I should have told you and Keitaro, but I didn't. Like, for instance, who Keitaro's promise girl really is."
"Whaaat?"
"I'm sorry, I really intended for this to come out gradually, because I was afraid of how you'd react if I said it all at once; but I've learned a few lessons recently, and one of the lessons is that I have to be totally honest with my friends, no matter what. You and Keitaro are my childhood friends, from more than fifteen years ago. We used to have a really happy time together, the three of us!"
All of this looks like it's too much for Naru - there are so many conflicting emotions flitting across her face. One hand is balled into a fist, but there's no Kei-kun around for her to hit. I hope she won't hit me, but I think she's so worked up that anything could happen. Then:
"I don't believe you! You're just making this up! You want to fool Keitaro, to make him think that you're his promise girl. Well, I won't stand for it!"
"It isn't like that Naru! Let me explain, please!"
"Okay, I'll let you have one minute. That's all."
"Naru, when I was a little girl, about five or six years old, somebody told me that when two people who love each other get into Tokyo U together, they will live happily ever after."
"'Somebody' told you? Do you remember who this 'somebody' was?"
"Yes, in a way. My original intention was to tell you that I forgot his name and his face. That would be true, but it would only be part of the story. I still don't remember his given name, or his face, but I do know that his family name was Narusegawa, and that he was your father."
Again Naru's face is a collection of conflicting emotions. She looks like she is about to explode. I press on quickly:
"I passed this story on to a boy who was my closest friend, and we made a promise that when we were grown up we would go to Tokyo U together. Again, my original intention was to tell you that I forgot this boy's name and face, and again that would be the truth, but only part of the story. In fact I never knew his full name, I only ever called him Kei-kun or Kei-Kei. And I did almost forget his face. I thought it wouldn't matter whether I remembered his face or not, because he would have changed. But then I saw him again at the Toudai examination hall, and he hadn't changed at all, and everything came flooding back."
"I was right!" replies Naru, "You are planning to fool Keitaro, to make him think that you are his promise girl! You might have managed to fool me, too, if you had stuck to your original plan, but for some reason you made the mistake of trying to drag my father into your story. My original parents did go to Tokyo U together, that's true, and somehow you've managed to find it out. But what you didn't know is that they definitely didn't live happily ever after. My mother died shortly after I was born, so why on earth would my father tell you a story about living happily ever after? And, my father was a no-good waster who didn't die but maybe he should have done."
I am taken aback by the real bitterness in Naru's voice. She continues:
"Instead, he remarried and then he ran away, abandoning me and my new mother. And he never came back, or phoned, or wrote, or anything! Even if your promise did come from him, tell me why I should care about a lying story or a promise that was told to you by a no-good home wrecker!"
"Because he did care about you! But he died, and that's why he couldn't write or phone."
Ara, I've said too much! Naru is shaking with emotion, and there are tears in her eyes. She says "I'm going to pay for these items now", and stalks away from the changing room. I follow her, to the till, and then back to the harbour. She boards the boat, but she turns away when I try to talk to her. It's obvious that she doesn't want to talk any more.
There isn't another chance to try to talk with Naru privately until it's time for bed. The night shift crewmen have vacated the sleeping cabin, and for a few minutes there's just the two of us there. Finally, our conversation continues.
"Mutsumi, did you really know my father?"
"Yes, and he wasn't as bad as you imagine. In fact, he was a really nice person. Has your mother ... I mean, your stepmother ... has she ever said that your father wasn't a good father?"
"No, she always avoids discussing the matter. But I was able to put two and two together. And I'm on my second set of parents now, and I don't even get along all that well with them sometimes. So I'm always suspicious of getting involved with people. I don't think I could ever commit myself fully to a relationship. At school there were lots of boys interested in me, but I always blew them off. And then I had a great tutor, and I had a real crush on him, but there was no way I could ever say anything to him... and now ... Keitaro..."
And she breaks down, sobbing. I put my arm around her shoulder. Finally she continues:
"Please tell me about my father".
So I tell her what I can remember. It isn't much, but I hope it is enough to convince her that her father loved her very much. And, I tell her, he passed on the promise to me because he wanted others to share what he had shared with the first Mrs. Narusegawa. What he always will share with her, despite everything.
Naru is still sobbing, a little, but when I tell her about her father's idea to make a time capsule, and about some of the things that we put into the capsule, a smile starts to appear on her face.
Just then, though, Naru starts to look panic-stricken. "Oh my God!" she says, "You really are Keitaro's promise girl, aren't you?"
"Yes, but you are too! You saw us making the promise, and you wanted to be a part of it, so we repeated it with you joining in. You could only say "Toudai 'mise", but I'm sure you knew what it meant. And you were just as much a part of the promise as I was, because I know Kei-kun loved you just as much as he loved me, and I love you just as much as I love Kei-kun. And a year later, when you could talk a bit better, we repeated the promise, just you and me, because I wanted to be sure you would remember. Please search your memory. It will come back to you eventually, I'm sure! And I don't know how it will work, but we'll all get into Toudai together, and we'll all be happy ever after."
And she puts her arm around my shoulder and says: "Thank you, Mutsumi. I feel so much better. And I think I will be different in the future, not so quick to judge Keitaro, for instance."
I feel like an exorcist must feel after banishing a troublesome demon. But I'm saddened, too, by the thought that this probably means I'll be cheering Keitaro and Naru on from the sidelines. Still, it had to be done, and I'm sure that whatever happens will be for the best.
"Just one more thing, though", Naru adds. "Why did you only tell me this? Why not share it with Keitaro?"
"Because there was another promise I made, the only one that I regret ..."
But at this point the cabin door opens.
"How much longer will you two ... Ack! I didn't mean to .. I thought you'd have finished changing!"
"Keitaro, you pervert!"
Thwack!
"Man overboard!"
Hi all. Sorry it's taking so long for the story to develop, but at least it's definitely going in a different direction from the canon now.
Trent Easton: in the notes at the end of the last chapter I said that Keitaro was the one and only true focus of Mutsumi's desire. Then I picked up vol 10 of the manga, and I read where Mutsumi says to Naru "I love Kei-kun, but I love you just as much as I love him". I reckon I could still be right, though, in a sense, because love and desire aren't necessarily the same thing. But I realised that my Mutsumi wasn't caring enough about Naru's feelings. She was single-mindedly focussing on trying to develop a relationship with Keitaro, without worrying about how this would affect Naru. I've tried to correct that in this chapter, at the cost of having another slow chapter with lots of talk but not much action.
It's very tricky: I don't want Mutsumi to be too assertive, or even slightly uncaring, because then she wouldn't be Mutsumi, but I do want her to end up with Keitaro. The good news is that this is going to happen. I have enough of the rest of the story worked out in rough to be sure that Mutsumi will win Keitaro this time. I hope any Mutsumi fans reading this will be happy about that.
Mantis man: A few chapters ago you made the point that your impression was that Mutsumi, "like Keitaro, didn't remember the name of the person she'd made the promise with". I only gave a partial answer then, but I hope things have become clearer now. Mutsumi makes statements which, while they are stricly speaking true, aren't the whole story or anything like it. She knows more than she is telling, but she has good reasons for keeping her secrets, or she thinks she does. She knows she will have to tell the full story eventually, but she keeps putting it off. She suspects that Naru will pursue Keitaro with renewed vigour once she realises that she is one of his promise girls (and Mutsumi won't be able to compete with Naru when that happens, because of the outcome of a certain game of janken). Also, Mutsumi can't suddenly admit the truth without also admitting that she has made a lot of misleading statements in the past. The longer she follows this path, of trying to mislead, the harder it is to get away from that path. But her tales become so elaborate that eventually she is unable to keep her story consistent. E.g. at first she remembers clearly that her promise was with a boy (even if she did forget his name and face), but later she has to insist that it was with a girl. In fact the promise was with both a boy and girl, as is made clear in vol. 10, but when Mutsumi is finally ready to tell the whole truth (near the end of volume 8) she is silenced by Keitaro with an "I think we should let the past rest, don't you". She has left it far too late, and pays the consequences.
Are people still reading this? If you are, but you're finding it too slow, or too repetitive, or too complicated, or whatever, and you're thinking of giving up because of that, please let me know with a review before you do give up. I will try to adjust future output in the light of any valid criticism. Thanks.