Home Sweet Home

XIII.

I turned off the faucet, ending my shower. It was sad how the shower had not been refreshing at all. I had been cold, wet, and muddy. A steaming hot shower is supposed to be the cure to warm the skin and mind. But my mind was still lost and confused due to the earlier events. One little shower wouldn't erase that.

Brago was just as dirty as I, so I sent him to the shower down the hall. He refused at first, but I wasn't about to let him walk all over my room, getting water and mud everywhere. Finally, he relented and took a shower.

Apparently it wasn't as long as mine, for whenever I stepped out of my bathroom and into my bedroom, he was once again sitting on the window seat.

He turned to me when I sat on the edge of my bed, "I was beginning to think you killed yourself in there."

I rolled my eyes, picking up a brush and running it through my hair, "Very funny…"

"No, it's not," he said lowly, glaring.

I realized it wasn't a joke. I supposed it was true that he had reason to suspect I would try to take my life behind closed doors. The thought did cross my mind. But his words from earlier continued to come back to haunt me. I was beginning to think that if I killed myself, he would find a way to bring me back and then kill me himself. Silly, yes, but my mind would believe anything at the moment.

I set down my brush, my fingers now gripping the side of the bed. Brago had bandaged my wrist earlier, even having the decency to snap it back in place without warning.

I could have sworn he ripped off my whole hand. The second he did it, it felt wonderful, but as soon as blood began to flow properly again, I couldn't hold back the unexpected scream.

"For someone who's attracted to Death, you sure do hate pain," he commented.

"Death gets rid of pain," I groaned through my teeth, not liking how rough he handled my wrist while bandaging it up.

"Funny," he grumbled, standing back after he was finished, "I was always told Hell was full of pain."

When he turned around to take that shower, I couldn't help but yell back, "So you're going to start preaching to me now?"

He didn't answer me.

His voice brought me back to the present moment, "We're going to have another battle tomorrow."

My eyes shot up to him, "What? How do you know? Maybe I don't want to leave the house tomorrow."

"That decision is not up to you. I was challenged and it takes place tomorrow," he said it with finality.

I drooped my shoulders. This was just wonderful…I was just thinking about how I didn't want to see another mamodo for at least three weeks. Looks like it was going to be cut down even shorter, "Who was it?"

I was shocked when he glared at me instantly, "I'm sure you'll recognize the name well. It's that kid you let get away all that time ago: Zatch Bell."

Of course, I never did forget the pairing of Zatch and Kiyo. They were something else, those two. They fought each other when they battled against an opponent. Though they were pretty weak at the time, they both held a strong determination I don't see in many. The odd thing was, their intentions seemed pure with no strings attached.

So when I heard the name, I almost slipped off the bed, "They're still around!"

"That's what I thought…" Brago grumbled, still glaring at me, "I still don't see why you didn't just burn their book then. It would have saved us a lot of trouble."

I gave him an odd look, "You know they're going to be trouble?"

He nodded once, "Almost positive."

"What makes you so sure?"

Brago blinked before looking back out the window. Though the day seemed like three days, it wasn't even half over. Though it was only four in the afternoon, the rain clouds continued to hide the sun, making it look much later. "They beat the Fire Mamodo."

One could say I was a little surprised. Even Brago and I had a tough time fighting him. But in the end, he must have been like all mamodo's. If someone fights him long enough, he'd bound to run out of energy sometime.

As if reading my thoughts, Brago added, "And the thing is, they didn't even look like they had been battling. They had no scratches, they weren't out of breath…nothing."

My eyes wandered down to the floor, feeling myself blush when I realized I was to blame for them posing a threat to us. To this day, I'm still slightly unsure why exactly I gave them another chance. It shouldn't have mattered whether they were less experienced than Brago and I. My motive was to end the battle as soon as possible. Every once in awhile, I would come up with some sort of reason as to why I did it, but they all sounded pathetic.

"I'm not sure how well I'll be able to battle tomorrow," I said softly.

"You'll battle with strength." The comment caused me to snap my head up to look at him. "You'll use your hatred toward all mamodo's and release it onto Zatch." He gazed at me again, "It should be strong enough to defeat him."

Though the speech was meant to encourage me, it only made me feel guilty. My eyes shook before I looked out the window, "Earlier…when I said…" I trailed off, "I didn't mean it. I don't hate you."

He gave me a certain look that said he didn't worry about it then and wasn't about to worry about it now, "Words are only words. You say a lot of things when you're angry."

Before I could respond, he continued, "Besides, it's best if you do hate me."

Words are only words. Even so, the words he just spoke shot straight through my heart. My chest became heavy and my nose stung, "How can you say something like that?"

"If it's not hate, then what is it, Sherry?" he asked demandingly.

"I…" My eyes widened when I couldn't think of how to respond, "I don't know. What kind of question is that anyway?"

"A realistic one," he answered, his voice somehow changing, "There's a very thin line, Sherry…a very thin line." I couldn't help but blush at his proclamation. Was he talking about what I think he was talking about, or were we on two different topics? I didn't have time to dwell on it, "It's a known fact you don't miss those you hate."

Sighing audibly, I forced myself to look at him, "I can't make myself hate you, Brago."

"Yes, you can," he said, a little more roughly than what I had expected. His eyes became a bloody red, attaining that insane look he gets to intimidate his enemies. He remained calm, however, and I didn't flinch, "I'm a mamodo."

I wanted to look away, but I caught myself, "You're different than the others…"

"How so? We've run into many benign mamodo's. I don't consider myself one of them."

"That's not how I meant it," I said, though not exactly sure how I did mean it. "You're different because…I know you."

He shook his head, "That has nothing to do with anything."

"Yes, it does!" I said a little more loudly, finding myself become increasingly annoyed with the conversation, "Why do you want me to hate you anyway?"

The question shut him up for a moment. I watched as he thought the question over, thinking of the best way to respond. I was holding my breath in anticipation, hoping it wasn't something personal that I wouldn't be able to counter.

The minutes dragged on. I heard the continuous ticking of my clock and the wind blowing heavily outside. I began to worry so much, I got myself dizzy and had to close my eyes. This is when he finally decided to respond.

"It would make it easier for me to hate you."

My eyes snapped open. For a moment, I thought his response was all in my head. He was still in the same position with the same look in his eyes. The clock was still ticking away and the wind continued to howl.

Slowly, I felt my lips pull up into a smile. Then I told him what he always tells me, "You're an idiot."

His head turned toward me, obviously not liking the insult thrown back at him.

I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't want to hate you, and I don't want you to hate me. So why can't we just say we don't hate each other and be happy?"

"It's not that simple," he said dryly.

"Or maybe it is that simple, but you just don't want to believe it," I opposed.

He stared at me for a long moment, "I hate humans."

I shrugged again, "I hate mamodo's."

"So what makes me an exception?"

"The same thing that makes me an exception."

"And what do you suppose that is?"

I thought about it, putting a finger to my chin, "Well…despite our differences, we're very much alike." I couldn't help but laugh gently at how badly I contradicted myself.

His look didn't change, "That made no sense."

"Actually, it made very good sense. I believe this is the definition of irony."

"What is?"

I stood up from my bed and walked toward the window seat to sit across from him like before. I looked out the window, staring at his reflection, "The fact that we both hate each other's breed and yet we don't hate each other."

He didn't respond and I didn't continue to say more. I could see him staring at my reflection also, allowing each other to stare into the others eyes indirectly. I reached my hand up and gently touched the glass with my fingertips, "Want to hear something else?"

I saw him slightly nod his head.

"I hate humans, also," though it shouldn't have been that big of a surprise, it felt strange saying it, "They're cruel in their own way as well. They make fun of those who are less fortunate, they kill for their own pleasure, and talk behind each other's backs. They hate those who have more than them, and yet feel envious at the same time. They love to hear about other peoples misery and feel disgust to those who look different." I felt tears come to my eyes when I realized how horrible the world really was, "No one's happy unless everyone's depressed."

I watched as Brago closed his eyes. Though it was probably only my imagination, I pictured him feeling what I was feeling. My hurt entered into him, releasing some of the stress I continuously built up since childhood.

"So why do you hate mamodo's?" he asked in a much softer voice than I ever remembered him using.

I sucked in a deep breath, releasing it when I spoke, "Because they came here."

"That was not our choice," he said, opening his eyes and looking back at my reflection.

"I know…" I whispered, beginning to feel frustrated over my emotions. All this time I've been complaining about how much I hated the mamodo's, when they were only doing what they were assigned to do. Most of them didn't try to kill humans anyway…they were just there to battle against another mamodo because that's what they did. I thought of it as instinct…like when an animal hunts for its prey.

Humans, on the other hand…have no reason to act the way they do.

In spite of myself, I smirked. That's irony all right…so who's the bad guy here?

Finally, I looked across the seat at him, not relying on his reflection anymore. The next words slipped out of my mouth involuntarily, "I don't want to stay here any longer, Brago…" I rested the side of my head against the cool glass, "I don't like it here."

He turned to face me directly also, our eyes locking together. Suddenly, I had the urge to throw myself against him and hold him exactly as I did the night before. Funny to think how it wasn't even twenty-four hours ago. He sensed what I was thinking and stood up quickly to avoid it.

My eyes saddened when I realized that he didn't want us to be that way. I raised my feet to the window seat also and pulled my knees up to my chest. I wrapped my arms around my legs, curling up into a ball at the corner of the seat.

I stared at my own reflection now, spotting the dark bags beneath my eyes. I looked and felt exhausted, my body not being able to keep up with the chain of events. I knew that if I fell asleep now, I would be able to sleep for the rest of the day and all night.

Closing my eyes, I felt myself already begin to drift off.

Right away, my mind flashed images of the earlier battle between Koko and Zophise. It was a terrifying slideshow, going from start to finish. I dreamed of when I was about to jump off the bridge, the railing slipping through my fingers. I spread my arms out and fell forward, not being able to close my eyes as the rushing water came closer and closer.

My body jerked awake when I hit the water. I was shivering and I saw that my lips were actually a little blue. Probably just got a small cold from being out in the rain for so long…

I realized it probably wasn't healthy for me to sleep by the cold window with only a light nightgown on. I lowered my feet to the floor, the cool air rushing to my bare feet instantly. I turned and walked quickly over to my bed, stopping abruptly at the side, however.

At first, I thought my eyes were deceiving me. Was I still dreaming? As truth would have it, I was very much awake.

Brago was lying on the other side of my bed, his back toward me. I couldn't tell if he was asleep, meditating, or just laying there, but it was still…different.

I smiled gently when I realized he had left the other half of the bed for me. He didn't mind if I laid beside him. I climbed into bed, the cold in my feet making the rest of my body cold. I reached down and pulled up the blankets to cover myself. It couldn't be helped that Brago got covered also.

Resting my head down on the pillow, I couldn't help but stare at the back of his head. Kami help me, but I couldn't help myself when I rolled onto my side until I was directly behind him. I didn't wrap my arm around him, but I did have our bodies touch before I pressed my forehead against the back of his neck and closed my eyes, breathing in his scent.

At that moment, I was glad I was alive. Life could, in fact, grant simple little pleasures.