My life was meant to be like this.Pushed away,held at arm's length.Not letting anyone get close.If they get close,they get hurt.So it's simple.I hide from the world.But whenever I do,someone tries to save me.I don't want saving.I don't need saving.But everytime it happens,I can't help it.I'm sucked in.And then they forget me,and I go back into hiding with a fresh wound that won't heal.
Chapter 5----Confessions
Inuyasha sat on the low tree branch,feet swinging in the wind.Sango and Miroku both lay stretched out on straw mats below him.Kohaku had gone with his asshole inuyoukai brother.Something about a friend for Rin.Whatever.Any dolt could see young love blossoming between the two children.
Inuyasha shifted his eyes to the side.Kagome sat there on the other side of the fire,helping Kouga to sip water.The ookamiyoukai had lost all reason.He just sat there,and looked at where his foot used to be.But Kagome kept at him,trying to stop the asshole from falling into depression,and helping him recover from shock.
Kagome was perfect like that.Everything about her drove him crazy,the way her hair glinted in the moonlight,her soft skin glowing in the silver light.So many times he had been on the brink of snatching her up and just stealing a lifetime's worth of kisses.But he knew, more than anything now, that she despised him,even if she had saved his life.She thought of him as an annoyance, nothing more.Now that this was over,she would return to her own time, seal the well and live the rest of her life.His heart was in so many pieces now that retreiving them would take twice as long as it ever had to retrieve the Shikon no Tama,which sat around Kagome's neck once again.
His thoughts wandered as he gazed at the moon.Nearly full.Good,his human night wasn't for a while now.
Thinking of humans,he thought of Kikyou.There was one human he didn't want to see again.Now,it seemed impossible that he ever loved her.Yet still,he felt sorry for the woman who had refused to die to steal his heart.But his heart had already been stolen.He whispered her name quietly to the night sky,a sort of apology to her departed conciousness.
Kagome gazed at Inuyasha,who stood lost in thought,staring at the nearly full moon.She watched as a tear travelled down his sooty cheek.She guessed who he was thinking of,hoping she wasn't right.But her heart plummetted as she heard him whisper that cursed woman's name.She blinked back tears, knowing Inuyasha would smell them,and looked across the fire to where Miroku and Sango slept.She looked away quickly,wishing she hadn't.They had somehow moved in their sleep,and now slept snuggled up close together,the flames' light dancing on their faces.She knew it wouldn't last long.Sango was bound to wake up soon and notice the hand on her butt.But it still broke her heart, knowing they would soon be married,and knowing she would never share the same luxury with Inuyasha.She felt selfish,but she couldn't help it.
She quickly hurried her mind away from that line of thought,turning her head to look at Shippou, snuggled up on Kouga's lap.He slept soundly,barely moving except to readjust himself so his quickly-healing wounds didn't get bumped.Kouga hardly noticed him,continually staring at where his foot used to be.He didn't even blink.Maybe he would take her in,she half wished.But no, that wasn't going to happen, because she could never love him while Inuyasha lived.Even if Inuyasha died, she would probably never give up on her emotions.Love is forever.True love lasts longer.Even if it's unrequited.
Even though she struggled to hold them in,the tears flowed down her cheeks.
Inuyasha quickly looked down from the stars, smelling Kagome's salty tears pour down her gorgeous face.He was horrified to find her weeping into her hands,drops falling onto the dirt.He hated it when anyone cried, but let Kagome cry and he'd grab the moon from the sky to stop her tears flowing.He jumped from the tree and grabbed her shoulders to turn her to face him, but she just looked back towards the fire.Noting Kouga's angry eyes on his back,he blushed a little.But he pushed it back, and calmly asked Kagome what was troubling her.
"What the hell is wrong bitch?" Well :that: came out wrong, Inuyasha thought bitterly.
Kagome just looked up at his sooty face and looked back down at her feet.At least she had managed to stop the tears."I-I know that you love her...even though she's dead now...and I just want to let you know that you're free to do so now and I'm sorry I thought you loved me and I'm sorry for loving you when you obviously wanted to be with someone else."She choked back another rush of tears.
Inuyasha felt like yelling.So he yelled."You idiot!How could I love anyone else but you?"
Kagome looked up in wide-eyed suprise,only having time to register his proclamation before he pulled her off the ground,squeezing her body against his.His face was so close.She felt the breath catch in her throat.He was leaning closer,closer.She licked her suddenly dry lips.
But he was looking away,and she felt his hold on her loosen.She pushed herself back from his chest and tried to look him in the eye.But he turned his head back.His arms dropped to his side.
Mentally,he was kicking himself.Idiot!Letting yourself get so close to her!You know what her scent does to you!Asshole!She could never love you that way!You're friends,get it friends.You're barely that.No-one could love a hanyou.You're not even supposed to exist!
He smelt her dejection.Heard her step away.He barely had time to register his suprise when his automatic reflexes kicked in,and grabbed her fainting form.He held her bridal style,her eyes rolled up into her head.
Okay.I promised myself no Authors Notes in this,but I am officially pissed.Do I have to post a reminder for you people to review?And here I was thinking that people simply hated my story.But no.I get plenty of hits,but no fucking reviews!
I need reviews to tell me whether or not to continue.So come on.I'll give you a cookie!I baked them myself!
Disclaimer:Jaede holds no responsibility for cookies lost in the mail/eaten before they're even put in the envelope.
What can I say?I'm hungry.