Disclaimer: Checks his bank account, sees it hasn't increased that much, so he concludes he doesn't have the rights of Harry Potter"

Chapter 2: Musings

14th august 2004

I have been here for more then a year , I know because every day I made a scratch in the wall, tough it isn't completely accurate, because there was a while when I was close to take a long walk of the short pier of sanity , al the while hearing my mother's pleas,

seeing my parents die, Cedric die, the farce of my trial,

the destruction of my possessions and the betrayal of my friends.

Or at least that's what they think, what they didn't know was

that I had found some interesting books on magical theory in the library

while looking for a book on how to become animagi, when I found this peculiar book tough, the book about animagi was completely forgotten.

This book discussed the possibility of forcing one's magic to do

his will, while using pure will instead of a wand to do it,

but one needed a strong mind and enough magical power.

I found out I had both, at the I only studied and tried it for a bit, because it was

slow and very tiring to perform, and I still had the illusion then that I'd always have a wand for hand; the book also talked about mind techniques like

occlumency, legimency, telepathy and such things.

The first months of Azkaban were hell, I have no idea I how long it was before I regained my senses, but after a few months something inside me died me, I think it was

my innocence and happy character, and I came to the conclusion

that I wouldn't, I COULDN'T give up, I WOULDN'T give them the pleasure!

After I came to that conclusion I first trained occlumency, in the hopes of

getting rid of the dementor's effects on me.

It was a slow and tiring thing to train, but I knew it was needed,

not having the book at hand or anyone who could help me didn't help me either,

but after a while my occlumency was strong enough to decrease the screams

to whispers in the back of my head and block the visions, both dementor

and Voldemort induced; tough it only blocked them fully when he was awake,

when he was asleep tough, he still was troubled by visions, not as hefty

as before he trained his occlumency but still strong enough to make his sleep almost restless.

After that I had trained my magical abilities, seeing as I didn't have a wand and it seemed unlikely that if I asked a dementor I'd get one I was forced to train my wandless abilities,

at first it was extremely draining, but after a lot of practice and patience I could do it faster and faster, I started with simple spells like Lumos and slowly built up the spells difficulty and power usage.

While he was training his magical powers he also train his physique, because he know that otherwise his muscles would weaken over time, and it wasn't like he had

anything better to do, he also wanted to try to become an animagus but he didn't have the needed ingredients to make the potion.

When he wasn't training he was rethinking about all his life, he had come to some rather disturbing conclusions about his life, he thought it was needed for some reason to stay at the Dursley's, for the protection, but he knew this wasn't true, since he had done his first accidental magic he had been able to see magic, only faintly then but the stronger he became magically the stronger his magical sense became, and the wards around the Dursley's weren't strong at all.

He had his own suspicions that the wards were powered by his mothers love for him and his family's love for him, explaining why the wards were so weak.

And why was he kept in the dark about the wizarding opinion till he really had to learn about it, while it was his birth right? Probably to make sure he didn't meet people who were not dark, but not loyal to Dumbledore either, so he wouldn't be able to form an opinion for himself…

When he thought further about it, he came to the conclusion that he would see the one who freed him from the Dursley's as a hero and would be forever loyal to him, then there was Hagrid, he knew that Hagrid realized that he was innocent, but he knew that it wasn't coincidental that it was Hagrid who got him, as much Pro Gryffindor and Pro Dumbledore as they get, instead of professor Sprout or professor Snape or Professor Flitwick, who could have influenced his choice of house.

Then there was Mrs. Weasley, he hadn't realized it then, but now he thought about it, it made no sense that she was asking her sons, quite loudly, which platform they had to take, while she herself had gone to school and she had seen her sons of many times, she was clearly she was waiting for someone, maybe she didn't know on who she was waiting but she was waiting for someone for sure.

Then these were his school years, now he thought about it, Dumbledore had never battled Voldemort instead, he didn't stop Harry from facing Voldemort, he was even encouraging him!

Then his friends, was it coincidental that the first people he met were a son of a family loyal to Gryffindor and Dumbledore and a girl who would report everything to the teachers if asked? now he thought about it, he saw it wasn't coincidental, they may not have known it then, but they were almost forced to become friends with him.

Just thinking about it all made him realize how foolish he had been, but, regret would do him no good here, so instead he used it to fuel his determination to become stronger, he knew that he could probably just blast a wall out of the prison, but that it would do him no good, because then he would be hunted both by the Dark and Light.

Well….the light and dark was said much, Voldemort was the leader of the dark, most of the "dark" creatures and people sided by him, some by force, some because they believed his views and some because they had no choice.

Dumbledore was the leader of a faction of "light" fighters, but if you thought about it, they were no more then mere terrorists, sure, people may say they fight for the good cause, but they use illegal spells and devices to reach their goal, unlawful force people to do their willing, like Dumbledore forcing Sirius to give Harry to him while Dumbledore had no legal custody over Harry while Sirius did.

He knew that if they would treat the non humans or werewolves, veela's and the like more equally they would never side with the dark lords, or at least not such a big part of them, but by making their lives so hard with all the decree's and law's they left them with little choice of what to do!

He knew Dumbledore would come to realize his error, he knew that soon Dumbledore would realize his innocence after interrogating some death eaters, with (illegally made and distributed) veritaserum, or Voldemort would attack Azkaban, the order would come to defend Azkaban and they would find out. (here Harry knows the global lines of the order, but no concrete information like it's location, members and such)

So now he only had to train and wait….

The reviews

Pussin Boots: Hmmm, I'm not a good writer, and I fear that if I make it detailed I will make the story worse then it already is.

Quillian: I'm glad you remember the story, and I'm looking for the best way to separate it, by the way, how is 'the number of fools' coming along?

athenakitty: Yes, it will most likely be amusing and o.O what other stories?

methoslover: Yes he'll go back to Hogwarts but it's needed, note the revenge part in the title, and what fun would revenge be if you wouldn't be there to enjoy it?

Weirkat: Ewww, them betraying him and him just forgiving him? The idea alone makes me sick, and in what stories does he do that? I can't think of any, and I've read, slings and arrows and such stories

DJ Rodriguez: I started it again in a move to counter the attack of the fluff story ( I got nothing against fluff stories, but as the mean theme? shudders in horror).

And revenge and forgiveness don't go well together now do they?

And now the AN: Before I continue with writing and posting I'd like to know what you want to happen after Harry goes back to Hogwarts and he already has had some revenge.

I myself usually don't review that often, though I'm starting to review more, but though this is a bit odd

You are on the favorites list of 9 members.
You are on the author alert watch list of 46 members.

and only six reviews?