Disclaimer – I sadly don't own this… if I did, there would probably be plot changes and the actual monsters would show up instead of their holographic counterparts more often.

Summary – Yami, ashamed by his inability to master modern technology, discovers that it is perhaps better, when it comes to microwaves and sewing machines, to be less than proficient. One-shot.

This could be seen as a sequel to my other one-shot Opps… I just thought it would be really funny to write.

Same as a Thief

Yami followed Yugi into Ryou's house and was amazed by how spotless it was. The Mutou residence was clean, but nothing compared to this place.

"Wow, Ryou," Yugi raced into the living and leapt onto the couch, grabbing the Nintendo controller. "Tales of Symphonia! I've been begging Grandpa to let me have a copy."

"It's an awesome game…"

"Everyone except that Raine character," Bakura drawled as he walked out of the kitchen and headed towards the dining room. "She can't cook and won't admit it. And they call her smart."

"I see you're still here, Tomb Robber," Yami growled.

"I hear you blew up your kitchen… again." Bakura snickered and shut the door behind himself as he exited the room.

"Why that arrogant…"

"Yami, shut up and come play the game with us," Yugi directed.

"A game? Is it a new form of Shadow Game?" Yami sat down next to Yugi and listened to the ToS prologue. "Ah-ha! We must save the great world of Sylvarant from untimely disaster. Will we receive praise for directing these awe-inspiring avatars when the world is saved? Will we get letters in the mail?"

"Uh… no, Yami."

"The ungrateful public withholds it praises once more."

"They send email."

"Oh… well… I don't really want praise anyway."

Ryou looked across the shorter boy to give the Pharaoh an incredulous look. "After calling them ungrateful for not sending letters, I want to know what makes email so different?"

Yugi leaned over and whispered softly, "Yami tried playing Myst: Uru and the computer's graphics card wasn't good enough for it. He sent the computer to the Shadow Realm and, after I spent a week of searching to get it back, he's refused to have anything to do with it."

"Oh…"

------

About thirty minutes into the game, a strange chattering noise came from behind the dining room's doors.

"What is that!" Yami leapt up and stared at the door in surprise.

Ryou paused the game and stood up. "Well, Bakura has some… unique… er… habits that he's acquired with his body. There's the whole brilliant cook aspect, but he's responsible for the fact that the house is more sterile than a hospital. I miss the dust bunnies… there was Fred, George, and Bob, but my favorite was Alfalfa." Two identical gazes that clearly asked what in the name of Ra landed on the British boy. "Uh… anyway…" Ryou laughed nervously and continued. "Bakura does plan to leave, eventually. He want's to finish making his own special outfit first."

"Outfit? A tomb robbing outfit?" Yami walked forward and started to peek through the door when the noise abruptly stopped and evil laughter emanated from the room in its place.

The door swung open and there stood Bakura in torn jeans and a stripped sailor shirt with matching blue sandals. A stuffed parrot sat on his shoulder, obviously pinned in place, and an eye-patch obscured his right eye.

"Arrr, me matey's. I'm off to the dock to procure meself a boat and I'm off to Tortuga in the Caribbean for me crew," Bakura informed them all.

Yami looked the Tomb Robber up and down and then pursed his lips. "You're missing the peg-leg bit and the hooked hand, you know."

"Aye."

"Well, you've finally done it, Tomb Robber."

"Done what, me bucko?"

"I've been humbled by your awesome stupidity."

A/N Someone once told me to picture Bakura as a pirate and now I've shared that vision with the world in this lovely, nonsensical, out of character view of Yu-Gi-Oh. Please, imagine Bakura's reaction to Yami's final statement and mention what you think it might be in your reviews. It'll make me laugh.