So that's how it started. It was awkward at first, Gunn's friends giving her dirty looks, muttering comments under their breath. The first time they saw her fight, things changed. And every time she saved one of their lives, they changed a little more. Buffy didn't kid herself. She knew she'd never really be a part of the group. At the end of every night, every fight, she'd climb into Gunn's truck and he'd drive over to the part of town with neighborhood watch and Jacuzzi bathtubs. Nobody else got out there. They all stayed in the truck and drove right back where they came from. And then the next night, they'd be comparing bruises, cuts, and sometimes even broken bones, while she never had much more than a papercut. But despite all this, Buffy was happy. Even if these people weren't too fond of her, they respected her and they understood the work she had to do. And somehow, this made her feel more normal than she had in a long time. She had even stopped having nightmares about the Master.

And then there was Gunn. At first she found him incredibly annoying. He was always trying to be macho, always running out into the fight even when he was barely conscious. Always trying to shove her out of the way to take the blow. The others seemed to take it for granted that he'd do this. He was the leader, not to mention the best fighter. Or at least he had been until Buffy showed up. The first few times he tried to play the hero, she let it go. It was kind of sweet, actually. She noticed he only did it for certain people. Mostly girls, but also his closest friends among the guys. Plus the really young kids. She kind of felt good that she was part of this elite group of people that he cared about. But it became a pain really fast. She tried to talk to him about it, but he always played dumb, claiming he had no idea what she was talking about.

One night about three weeks after they had met, they were patrolling the area right around Juice. There had been a pretty brutal fight the night before, so most of the team was recuperating. Buffy said she was going to patrol alone, so of course Gunn, who was still pretty beat up from the night before, insisted on coming along. Buffy didn't resist since they had killed most of the vampires and demons in the area the previous night. Plus (and she would never admit this to him) she liked his company. He was a smart guy, especially for someone who had dropped out of school so early. And he was funny and unlike most of his friends, he didn't make her feel guilty for having money and both parents (even if her dad only counted as maybe half a parent these days). He even let her go on about Willow and Xander and Giles. Buffy had never been able to talk about her Sunnydale friends with Tiffani and Farrah. She knew they wouldn't get them. And even though Gunn came from such a different world, he never made fun. They talked about every demon that she had ever faced, but they never talked about the Master.

This particular night, she was telling him about Sid the dummy when they were attacked by two vampires. Instead of letting her take care of one while he dealt with the other, he attempted to herd both vampires to his side of the alley. Every time Buffy attempted to get in to help him, he blocked her with his body. An observer would have thought it was just clumsiness on his part. Buffy knew better. When Gunn finally got beaten down enough that he was unable to keep pushing her, she staked the two vamps, then immediately turned around and punched Gunn in the face.

"What the hell are you doing?" he yelled, clutching his nose.

"What the hell am I doing? You're the one who's trying to get yourself killed! I don't know what it is with men, but I am stronger than you and you'd better get used to it. Maybe my strength intimidates you, but I can't help that and your macho attitude isn't helping anyone!"

"Intimidates me? God Buffy, your strength is one of the things I like most about you. There's not much room for machismo when we're fighting for our lives."

Buffy didn't know why, but hearing him say that meant a lot. Not a lot of guys would not only tolerate the strength but like it. She wanted to ask him what the other things he liked about her were, but then realized he was probably just trying to change the subject again. "So what's your problem then? Why won't you let me fight?"

Gunn looked as though he was going to walk away, but he suddenly turned back. "Come on Buffy, isn't it obvious? You have so much to live for. You have this amazing life and personality and family and friends and this destiny. You shouldn't have to die at sixteen."

Buffy was stunned. This wasn't what she expected. "And you should?"

"I'm not sixteen."

"That's not the point," she retorted, "and you know it."

"I'm not going to live very long. Around here, you learn not to have expectations. Aspirations. We fight. We die. You're going to go home at the end of the summer and you're going to keep living. Because you have something to live for. I never did, so it doesn't matter if I die. And since I have to die anyway, it may as well be saving you."

Gunn was standing in a defensive posture, almost like he was waiting for an attack, but his face was…his face was scared. "Gunn," Buffy started angrily, "you are such an idiot."

"Wow, thanks."

"How dare you think the only thing you have to offer is your death? You are one of the greatest people I know. You're brave and you're strong and smart and funny and sweet. And you've got a sister who's crazy about you and a whole community of people who look up to you." Gunn made a move like he was going to say something, but Buffy wouldn't let him interject. "How dare you give that up? You might not have a choice about dying, but you have a choice about how to live your life. And thinking the only important thing you'll ever do is dying is just…you're such a bastard." Buffy was crying now and Gunn only hesitated a moment before pulling her into his arms.

"Buffy, I'm sorry. I don't, I don't know what to say."

She looked up at him with tear-stained eyes and quietly said "I died."

"What?"

"In June. There was this prophecy that this master vampire was going to kill me and unleash hell on earth. The first part happened, but Xander gave me CPR. I was dead for a while though, and let me tell you, not in a rush to see that happen to anyone I care about. You never know how much time you have, so you've really got to take advantage of it. I know that sounds totally Lifetime movie, but dying kind of makes you think big thoughts like that."

"I guess it would," replied Gunn, still absorbing the information. So the whole slayer gig doesn't come with a very long lifespan either then, does it?"

"Not so much. Giles didn't want to tell me how old the oldest slayer lived to be, so I snuck into his office and looked it up."

"And?"

"Twenty-two."

"Whoa."

"Pretty much sums it up." Now that the anger had died down, Buffy suddenly became aware of the fact that she was pressed against Gunn's chest, her hand pressed against his heartbeat. Slowly she looked up at him only to see him looking back at her. Before she could say anything, he bent down and kissed her. It wasn't like kissing Angel, that feeling that she was meant to be there and that she couldn't pull away if she wanted to. It was a kiss that was just about kissing and about living, and that was all she wanted.

After a minute, they pulled apart. Gunn smiled. "Seize the moment, right?"

"Good to know you were listening to my little pep talk. So no more trying to be the hero, right?"

"Just one of many."

"Me too," said Buffy realizing for the first time that maybe she was.

The pair walked out of the alley, each holding the other's hand in one hand and a stake in the other. "So you really mean all that stuff you said about me before?" Gunn asked teasingly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I believe it was something along the lines of brave, smart, strong, funny and sweet."

Buffy rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "Yeah, yeah. Well don't go getting a big head or anything."