11 o'clock Saturday morning she lay squished up on her mattress in a
heap. A loud knocking sent her flailing out of bed and she scrambled
around, disoriented. Grumbling and tripping across the floor, she pulled
open her duplex door. "What?!" she muttered, her eyes half open, her hair
ratted out in a tangled mass. Matthews stood before her, smiling, his hair,
of course, as usual, perfect to the last strand.
"Well hello to you too, Sunshine," he said, waving a bag of donuts in front of her nose and stepping inside. She greeted him with a look of half- asleep suspicion, but her eyes followed the donuts.
"Mornin' Eric," she yawned, and he kissed her on the cheek, wrapping his arms around her waist,"But what the hell are you doing here? Not that I mind or anything," she snatched the donuts from him and stalked off into the kitchen. Shoving a pile of "National Enquirer"'s off the kitchen chair, she made a place for Matthews to sit, she flopped into a chair. He scooped up one of the issues and skimmed it, while she munched on a Boston Creme.
"Keepin' a close eye on Bat Boy, I see."
"I'm tellin' you, that kid is Public Enemy #1, but you still haven't told me what you're doing here."
"Can't a guy just want to spend time with his girlfriend?"
"A guy like you?"
"I'm hurt!" he clutched his chest in mock offense.
"What's the real reason Matthews?"
"Well, uh, Beth the..."
"Girl scout?" Hart offered.
"...the undergrad," Matthews continued,"Keeps callin' and stoppin' by."
"Revenge of the Sorority Girl," Hart mused,"Wasn't that a horror movie?"
"...so I'm hidin' out here 'til she goes away."
"Can't you just wave you gun around? You know they gave us those things for a reason."
"Well unlike you, Gracie, some people don't like to come off as gun- toting anti-socials, right off the bat."
"Hey, I'm not anti-social. I spent a week in a hotel with America's bubbliest, shining beauty queens - I am not anti-social."
"'Course you're not," Matthews conceded, kissing her powder-sugar coated lips.
"Damn right I'm not, " she re-affirmed, stuffing down the rest of a jelly-filled and standing up, stretching her arms. "Well Eric, if you're going to stick around, you're in for the ride of your life - it's laundry day."
"Aw, Hart, don't you have something a little more interesting to do?"
"Hey, you're usin' my house to hide from the kindergardener..."
"College student!"
"Whatever, you're hidin' out here, you can help me." She disappeared into her bedroom for a moment and returned with a bulging laundry bag. Heading for the door, she grabbed Matthews' arm,"Off to the laundry mat."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." he protested,"Hart, you just got up, you're gonna walk outta the house like that?" She looked herself over. Clean sweatpants, clean t-shirt, and her socks even matched. She shrugged and he raised an eyebrow. Throwing her arms up in defeat, she retreated back into her bedroom. Re-emerging ten minutes later in jeans and a new top, her hair pulled back in a decent ponytail, she held up her arms and turned in a circle for his approval.
"Looookin' good, Hart!" Matthews whistled. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the laundry bag. He held the door open for her as they exited. Out on her front porch, starting down the steps, Gracie's neighbor stucker her head out her window, between her potted plants.
"Mornin' Gracie, see you've got a gentleman caller."
"Mornin' Mrs. Katsopolis - he's just a friend."
"Is that all I am, huh?" Eric whispered into her ear, kissing it softly. He grabbed the laundry bag from her, wrapped his free arm around her waist, and pulled her close.
Mrs. Katsopolis pulled her head back in the window and smiled,"Wish I had a couple friends like that..."
"Well hello to you too, Sunshine," he said, waving a bag of donuts in front of her nose and stepping inside. She greeted him with a look of half- asleep suspicion, but her eyes followed the donuts.
"Mornin' Eric," she yawned, and he kissed her on the cheek, wrapping his arms around her waist,"But what the hell are you doing here? Not that I mind or anything," she snatched the donuts from him and stalked off into the kitchen. Shoving a pile of "National Enquirer"'s off the kitchen chair, she made a place for Matthews to sit, she flopped into a chair. He scooped up one of the issues and skimmed it, while she munched on a Boston Creme.
"Keepin' a close eye on Bat Boy, I see."
"I'm tellin' you, that kid is Public Enemy #1, but you still haven't told me what you're doing here."
"Can't a guy just want to spend time with his girlfriend?"
"A guy like you?"
"I'm hurt!" he clutched his chest in mock offense.
"What's the real reason Matthews?"
"Well, uh, Beth the..."
"Girl scout?" Hart offered.
"...the undergrad," Matthews continued,"Keeps callin' and stoppin' by."
"Revenge of the Sorority Girl," Hart mused,"Wasn't that a horror movie?"
"...so I'm hidin' out here 'til she goes away."
"Can't you just wave you gun around? You know they gave us those things for a reason."
"Well unlike you, Gracie, some people don't like to come off as gun- toting anti-socials, right off the bat."
"Hey, I'm not anti-social. I spent a week in a hotel with America's bubbliest, shining beauty queens - I am not anti-social."
"'Course you're not," Matthews conceded, kissing her powder-sugar coated lips.
"Damn right I'm not, " she re-affirmed, stuffing down the rest of a jelly-filled and standing up, stretching her arms. "Well Eric, if you're going to stick around, you're in for the ride of your life - it's laundry day."
"Aw, Hart, don't you have something a little more interesting to do?"
"Hey, you're usin' my house to hide from the kindergardener..."
"College student!"
"Whatever, you're hidin' out here, you can help me." She disappeared into her bedroom for a moment and returned with a bulging laundry bag. Heading for the door, she grabbed Matthews' arm,"Off to the laundry mat."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." he protested,"Hart, you just got up, you're gonna walk outta the house like that?" She looked herself over. Clean sweatpants, clean t-shirt, and her socks even matched. She shrugged and he raised an eyebrow. Throwing her arms up in defeat, she retreated back into her bedroom. Re-emerging ten minutes later in jeans and a new top, her hair pulled back in a decent ponytail, she held up her arms and turned in a circle for his approval.
"Looookin' good, Hart!" Matthews whistled. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the laundry bag. He held the door open for her as they exited. Out on her front porch, starting down the steps, Gracie's neighbor stucker her head out her window, between her potted plants.
"Mornin' Gracie, see you've got a gentleman caller."
"Mornin' Mrs. Katsopolis - he's just a friend."
"Is that all I am, huh?" Eric whispered into her ear, kissing it softly. He grabbed the laundry bag from her, wrapped his free arm around her waist, and pulled her close.
Mrs. Katsopolis pulled her head back in the window and smiled,"Wish I had a couple friends like that..."