A/N: Okay, this isn't really my favorite chapter at all, and isn't really very funny in my opinion but I was kind of in a hurry and wanted to get a chapter out to y'all. Anyways, much love and props to EeveeKitty85 for submitting a bad fanfic for me to use in this story. She is the author of the beautiful Pokemon crossover fic in here. Make sure to drop her a line in the comments to tell her how "good" it was. Please remember to read and review or elese I'll go blind or something.

Things could have gotten worse, and they just did because so far I have started every single chapter of this story by saying that. I'm kind of going for the whole "It's Harry's birthday on the first page of every single effing Harry Potter book ever written", thing. If you know what I mean, and if you don't can you really call yourself a fan, and still be able to sleep peacefully at night? Well? Can you? I didn't think so. Yeah, so anyways back to this really, really important story. Things were really coming to a head now, see what I did there? I made a funny! You should have laughed! Actually, I didn't really do anything, I just wanted to make sure you're all still paying attention. RON DANCING NAKED IN A TEA COZY WHICH BASICALLY MEANS HE'S NOT NAKED AT ALL. If that didn't get your attention, then you must be dead inside. Normally I would start this chapter with a little dialogue to let you know what our favorite characters have been up to for the last few hours, but instead I'm going straight into the dirty.

"Listen up bitches! Tee Hee Hee! Sorry to use such lewd language, but I just got a brand new Louis Vuitton handbag on sale, and I'm kind of giddy!" Vold(ie)ermort said as Harry shook his head in sorrow, Ginny pondered the best way to kill herself, Ron started singing a song from "The Little Shop of Horrors", Ron has never actually seen this movie, because the author hasn't either, but trust me it was one of the good ones. Hermione just kept muttering to herself and saying things like "Maybe if my boobs were bigger he'd like me better than Voldermort! Why did I let my mom talk me out of that boob job? WHY?"

"Anyways, I've got a real treat for you bitches today, I'm doing a two for one offer on bad fanfiction! First up is quite possibly the worst story ever! A crossover between Harry Potter and something called Pokemon, whatever the hell that is." Voldermort mumbled as the dreaded I-Mac came to life once more.

"I think I'd like to read...yes, maybe it will keep my mind off other things like my lack of mammary glands, and sleek hair." Hermione said shakily as she wiped a single tear out of her eye.

"Pokleomon n Herri Potter Likez Meets"

By: EeveeKitty85"

"Are you effing me? Did they actually just say that?...What does that even mean?" Ginny said shocked out of her mind by the horrible grammar and lack of any writing talent.

"I wish I was effing yo—I mean, yeah you're right it is kind of chilly in here." Harry stammered as Hermione cleared her throat loudly, and continued.

"Harri, Ron and Hermion wer walkin thru d Hogwarts grunds wen sudenly dey saw a pair of new pupils.

"Hello," sed Harri.

"Who r u?" "Hello," sed a boy with black hair and a small yello mouse. "My name is Ash + dis id Pikachu. I wanna b the world's gretest pokemon master!1111""

"Can someone tell me what the flying fuck a pokemon is?" Hermione said completely out of canon, which is to be expected in a bad fan fiction after all. So anyways she completely ignored the fact that not only did they use an addition sign, they actually spelled the word "said" with an e, and decided to continue. Effing amazing.

""I'm Sue-Marie," sed the girl next 2 him. She was v v pretty with v long blond hair + blu eyes + she was tall and thin wiv a v v v gorgus figur. Harri's hartgave a funnie flip + he new he wos fallin in lurv.

Hermion scowld at him becos secrtley she luved harri sinc the momnte dey had met she knew she she she wnated 2 hav his kids. Ron also luvd harri but pretnded 2 b intrested in Hermion becos he was afraid 2 tel harrrie his tru feelins."

"Oh God, I was afraid this might happen. GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEADS PEOPLE, I AM NEVER GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH RONALD WEASLEY. NEVER!" Harry exclaimed at the Mac.

"I should bloody well hope not mate." Ron said coming out of his stupor, and then yet again began singing a beautiful rendition of "All that Jazz"

""U must b harrri pottr i herd aout u" sed Sue-Marie."wow ur even more gud-lookig in

reel life!111"

harri blushd "can u ride a broomstick?"

"no but i want 2 lern can u teach me/"

"of cors cum wiv me"

"where r we nyway/" askd Ash. the pikachu Looked confused as well. dat was when dey got struk by lightnin

Hermion burst into tears oh no!" she sed! "ron, You hav to give him da kiss of Life!111"
ron lucked vvvvv happy.

THE END!"

Hermione was the first to recover after almost having a near cardiac arrest relapse. "Is "v." even an abbreviation? And what the hell is the kiss of life? And also, did that even have a plot? And seriously, what the hell is a pokemon? Seriously, I need to know." She asked quietly as the others just stared slack-jaw at the horrible piece of machinery in front of them, silence overcoming them.

"How did y'all like that sweeties? I like loved it. It was hot. That reminds me, I'm going to be late for my appointment at the salon for a manicure and a full body wax. You know what they say, "every time an evil wizard gets a full body wax, an angel rips it's wings off!". Anyways, I'm going to leave y'all with one of my personal favorites, another crossover fiction starring Harry, and Paris Hilton. And not only does it star this amazing who–celebrity, its also a songfic! Yes, that's right it also has all of the lyrics to Avril Lavigne's classic "Complicated for absolutely no reason at all! Isn't that bitchin'? Enjoy!" Voldie said as he quickly vacated the

premises.

"Oh Bloody hell, not another "Harry meets a random slut, and has wild sex with her on the frozen tundra while the penguins sit and watch," fic. I don't think I can take the shame." Harry said as he hung his head and prepared for the worst.

"Better to get it over with I guess" Hermione said sadly as she began to read.

"The Simple Life

By: HiltonSisterLurvesPotter101231242342932-84u308430-8

Harrie had like decided 2 take a break from the wizarding world, 4 after defeating Lord Voldermort, winning the Quiddicth final for a team he didn't even play for, and creating a toaster that sings "Mary Had A Little Lamb" every time your pop-tarts are nice and...toasted; things had gotten2 hectic for his tastes. Luckily he had found a really good deal on a fairly nice hotel in America. Some city called...Loz Angelis or something. Newayz it was a Hilton hotel which will be a v. subtle foreshadowing to what is going to happen v. v. soon. So newayz like when Harrie was like walking into the hotel this like totallie hawt babe wearing lyke absolutely nothing was singing in the hallway

Likez why you gotta make things so complicateeed?

Something, something fustrated!

You like try and you like lie, and something something

Like you falls and you crawls and uhh preppy clotheesss

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!

Harrie thought she like had like a beaUtiful voice, n she was so v. hawt. Harrie walked up to her and said "Like Hey sexi Mama, wanna make something go on?"

And she was all like "Yeah babesz, I'll show you what a real night in Paris is like:winkwinknudgenudgecoughcoughsneezesneeze:

THE END!"

"Holy Slut! I'll kill her! I WILL TOTALLY KILL HER. Doesn't she know that me and Harri..I mean Harry are meant to be together? Hasn't she read all of those fics that clearly describe the a prophecy that was made at our birth that clearly states that he and I will marry at age seventeen and then proceed to have a baby every single year for the rest of eternity?" Ginny said as she stood up in her chair and started waving her fists madly while pulling at her own hair.

"Someone shoot me, just shoot me now." Harry said as he buried his face in is crotch.