A/N: Yet another chapter! Woohoo! Sorry this one took a while, I had finals and drama, and a new job. And lots of stuff. I also started a new fic "Fly On The Wall" So check that out yo. This chapter is pretty long I think. I think this story is winding down, and should only last for another chapter or two, maybe three. I'm thinking about doing a sequel with minor charachters from the Harry Potter universe, with the main trio showing up every once in a while. Tell me what you think.. Also the bad fic in this chapter is actually based on the worst fic ever written, that I accidently stumbled upon a few days ago. It was dreadful I can't copy and paste so I tried to write something nearly as bad. I also read one about Draco being pregnant with Harry's baby. If you comment (which you better) drop me a line about the worst fic you've written recently, I'll see if I can work it into the story yo. Anyways, shout outs!
TicTacTurtle- Thanks for the reviews from every chapter, you are the bomb yo. The likez, I just think they're funny. They don't mean anything, trust me on this one.
eeveekitty85- I misspell VoldeRmort on purpose to show my extreme disrespect for him. And also, because I just forget.
tweeny-weeny- Your fic from last chapter was truly awesome. Thanks a million for that again. Hope you enjoy the new chapter.
L. Spencer1153-A night in Paris was my idea. I liked that one too, thanks for reviewing bud.
sandiwandi- A new reviewer! I love it. The bad fan fics used are mostly written by me unless otherwise stated. I realize that they're horrible, I dont' actually write like that. Hope you enjoy the new chapter!
Since we last left our "heros" very few things had actually happened. Oh, Ginny and Harry had decided their true and everlasting love for each other. So they basically spent all of their time making out. Hermione was still obsessed with finding a way out. Ron was still doing God only knows what with Voldie. Things were just beginning to get bad. Really bad.
"Is it kind of strange, that I actually miss Voldemort?" Harry asked suddenly while he and Ginny were making out (Who says snogging..seriously? Except for that time I heard Scary Spice say it in Spice World. )
"Food for thought, next time you bring up Voldemort, don't do it while we're making out okay/" Ginny said as she ran her fingers through her hair, to make it look as if she didn't just have sex, not that she did or anything. This fiction is rated PG. THAT MEANS NO SEXUAL SITUATIONS WHATSOEVER. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT.
"I miss Ronald." Hermione said sadly as she walked around the room still looking for an escape route.
Suddenly, as if by magic that is (You know it was) Dobby popped out of a magical toilet in the middle of the room.
"Sirs and Misses! The Great, Good, Sexy, Generous, Good in Bed, Harry Potter! I have come to tell you of grave danger! Of a prophecy!" Dobby said as he began to bang his head up against Hermione's copy of "Hogwarts: A History", as Hermione burst into tears as she saw her precious book being dented to shreds by Dobby's pointy elf ears.
"A toilet!" Harry exclaimed as he bum (Ha Ha, bum) rushed Dobby, pushed him off of the toilet, and hastily unzipped his pants, and began to scream.
"I can't go if you're all watching me! Turn around!" Harry yelled frantically as the others began to all turn their faces away. Harry proceeded to pee for approximately six hours.
After he was finally done, the silence was finally broken, as Harry turned around and zipped his pants (not in that order), and said. "A prophecy? What are you talking about? It isn't the prophecy that states that I am to become a homosexual by the age of twenty four, and run away with Draco Malfoy is it?" Harry questioned wildy.
"Oh, no sir. Not that one. Although I'm sure that one exists as well. No this prophecy is much, much worse. Trust me."
"Well out with it Elf. What does it say?" Hermione asked rudely forgetting that she is supposed to be an advocate for elfish welfare, all because of her mental anguish due to the loss of her beloved book.
This is right around the time when Dobby ripped off his tea cozy, and began to sing loudly in a tune of his own creation.
"Dark days will pass
You'll be forced to kiss some ass
If you read you better review
Or maybe a plague of a millions fleas infesting your nether regions will happen to you
So sad but true"
As he finished the final few notes sadly, he hopped on his toilet and suddenly disappeared.
"What the hell did that mean?" Ginny asked inquisitively.
"I think it was the author's subtle way of saying IF YOU'RE READING YOU BEST BE REVIEWING. SERIOUSLY HE SITS ALL DAY OVER A HOT KEYBOARD, AND THE VERY LEAST YOU CAN DO IS TO SHOW HIM SOME LOVE! Well, I guess that's what he means anyway, how would I know I'm just a character in a story after all.
"Yeah, well whatever. Hermione have you figured a way to get us out of here? You know Voldemort and Ron could be coming back any second now." Harry asked as he sat down next to
Ginny very much glad his bladder was evacuated thoroughly.
"Yeah, you're right Harry. I just hope my brother is still a virgin by the time he comes back." Ginny said hopefully.
"Well we don't have time for to think about that right now anyway. The author is telling me that the Mac sitting on that table right in the middle of the room has a bad fic waiting for us." Hermione said matter of factly as she turned her bushy teet-fac-mou-hair, yeah that's the one, to the middle of the room.
"I guess I'll read then" Ginny said as she walked over to the computer.
"Why can't I read seriously? I need to know! I am literate you know! I am not stupid!" Harry said as he began to sob wildly.
"Well you've got that scar..." Hermione trailed off as Ginny began to read:
"Some disgusting piece of incest"
By:SlashAndGrossStuff4-Eva
Chapter 1:
This year would likez bes the year for young Ginnie..no Gineeravra. Ginrvra was a name for an adult, which she was now. Over the summer Ginervia had become a woman. SHE HAD REALLY GROWN UP. SHE HAD FILLED OUT IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES. HER BOOBS WERE HUGE! And she was going to finally make all of the boys notice her like hawtnesss. She had her eyez like on onez boys. His name was...Ronald.
"Wait a minute, you have to be effing me. Right? Seriously, my brother? Ew! I can't read this! Harry you take over sweetie!" Ginny said as she began to wretch on the ground.
"Yay!" Harry exclaimed as he realized that he really was illiterate and never learned how to read as a child. How unfortunate.
"Uhh..nevermind. Hermione your turn." Ginny said as she saw the blank look on Harry's scar.
"Oh, fine." Hermione said testily. TESTILY. TESTCLES. TESTILY. THIS IS JUST A TESTILY.
So anyways she began to read again:
She likez couldn't remember whether or not she was related to him or not, maybez she was likez a distant cousin? Who knows? Anywayz, that like doesn't matter. HE WAS HOT. And so was she. HER BOOBS WERE LIKE HUGE. She was likez so going to make himz, hersz.
"Wait, that was an entire chapter? It was like four sentences. Well if you can count those sentences, which to be fair I'm not sure that you can." Hermione trailed off as she continued.
Chapterz 2z:
So like Ginny was like walking to likez the sckool trayne, and she like tripped and fell and Ronald was all like, "Hey you okay?". And I was all like "Yeah I am now that you're here sexy mayn." And he was all like "Ew.. you're my sister, what the bloody hell is wrong with you?". That's when I likez started to take off my shirt. Thingz got hazee around that time.
"Ha ha! I actually like this one! It's hilarious! God Ginny, when did you become such a whore?" Harry asked, as Ginny slapped him across the face.
"ABUSE!" Harry exclaimed as he began to sob again.
Chapter threis
Ronald is likez so hotz. So newayz this mornings at breckfast I went up 2 him onlie dressed in a thong. I was all like "Hey sexy baby, let's like do zometihng.". And he was all like "Ginny, what the hell is wrong with you?" And that's when I spread my legs, and strated licking mah lips. He likez wasn't so impressed. Godz, he's so hots.
"Hey bitch, I'm staking my claim. Ronald is mine okay? Get it!" Hermione said testily as she got all up in Ginny's grill.
"Uhh, Hermione. He's my brother, do you really think I'm likely to fancy him?" Ginny said calmly.
"Yes, I guess you're right." Hermione replied.
Chapter F4s
Well likez, I don't think Ronald is like ever going to likez me. Even tho my boobs is v. v. big. Oh wellz, I guess I'll go do like George or Fred or someone else instead. Tootles!
"Well that was absolutely atrocious." Harry said as he wiped his tears.
"I second that." Ginny said as she began to rip off her shirt.
"GINNY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Hermione yelled.
"Oh, I kind of forgot I wasn't actually in that fic. My bad!" Ginny replied dully.
Suddenly, as if by...oh forget it. A voice came from the ceiling.
"Hey bitches! Me and my lover are back! Say hello Ronniekins!" Voldie shrieked from above.
"Uh, hey y'all. I'm up here with my uh..lover. Who I uhh..love. I completely don't find that disgusting or anything. I swear." Ron said all very quickly, and nervously, and other things that end with "ly".
"Like me and my lover got likez so close over our vacay, I'm going to keepz him up here, and do anything to makez him happy!" Voldie said very coldly, but warmly at the same time, so I guess it was just kind of luke warm. Room temperature if you will.
"You'll do anything to make him happy?" Hermione said as she pointed her bushy hair to above.
"Yes, like anything to makes my baby happy!" Voldie screamed.
"I think it would make Ron very happy to see us all go free!" Ginny said catching on.
"Yeah! That's right! He would, right Ron?" Harry said as he finally caught on as well. He was rather slow, I guess that happens when you have a scar on your forehead, you become really stupid.
"Hrm. That's an idea!" Voldie exclaimed very coldy. And then he------------
made you wait to find out in the next chapter.
Remember to heed Dobby's warning. I wouldn't want fleas in my nether regions, that's for sure.