It's finally time for the prologue. I'm not going to lie to you..it's really not very good. Very rushed, but whatever. It's just a little prologue in celebration of the actual Harry Potter book coming out in like two days! After I'm done reading that..an actual sequel will follow. Well without further ado..here it is. Also rembember to read and review!

Thank God, it was finally over. Harry was finally back at home, where he belonged. Well you know, he would belong if his aunt and uncle actually loved him–which they do not, in case you were wondering. Nope don't love him at all. In fact they've just started a new fashion line entitled "We Hate Harry Designs", be looking out for "Die, Harry, Die" Trucker hats, t-shirts, pants, boxers, and thongs, at a Wal-mart/Kmart/Adult Video Store near you! But besides being forced to dress like a girl, and walk around the neighborhood, and the other inhumane things that the Dursley's have so far subjected him to, things were good. Oh except for that day when they made him lick the mailman. That was just really nasty honestly. He tasted like moldy ass seeped in milk. Not a good combination, I assure you.

But besides that, things were looking good for Harry, as he has finally developed a sex life. I mean, love life. Not sex, never sex. Anyways, after being forced to read the beautiful bad fan fic, about Paris Hilton, Harry realized that the two of them were actually destined to be together. Did I mention that the Dursley's have been slipping Harry a lot of hallucinogenic drugs? Because they have.

But back to my point, yes Harry Potter, and Paris Hilton were supposedly meant to be. I mean, I don't know if you've noticed this before or not, but if you flip their initials around they're the same! Potter Harry, and Paris Hilton; Harry Potter, and Hilton Paris! See? It's perfect. Every relationship should be based on how well your initials fit together. Well that's probably wrong. I'm not perfect after all...I'm just kidding! Of course I'm perfect, but anyways back to the story

So yes, Harry had decided to tell young Ginny to step off, and ran off into the sunset with Miss Hilton, who I hear must be worth a trillion bucks. The word is out whether or not she actually gives a fuck though. I'll get back to you on that one. So anyways, they ran into the sunset...well they didn't so much run as they tripped and fell, and Paris was airlifted to the hospital. It was really very touch and go there for a while, no one knew if she was going to survive the fall. Unfortunately, she did. Harry mostly spends his time on the beach being fed large spoonfuls of vanilla pudding, while he patiently waits for book six, which actually debuts in only four days from the time of this writing. So let's just say, that things are about to get really effing good. So, what happened to the other characters, you ask? I really wasn't going to say, because I mean..who really cares about the other characters anyways? I mean they don't call it Harry Potter for nothing, you know. Alas, I am a nice writer, so I'm going to tell you anyways.

Ginny Weasley, innocent red haired little girl, or super vixen nasty slut? You be the judge. Well truth be told, you can't be the judge..because I'm the author of this story, and I get to make all the rules anyways. After the heartbreak that Harry pulled her through after breaking up with her for the ever hot Paris Hilton, Ginny hit rock bottom. No really, she threw herself down a well. Not exactly the wisest thing to do. But after she got out of full body traction, for six months..Ginny was perfectly fine..well almost. Because now that Ginny had failed all of her classes at Hogwarts from being so very absent for so long, Ginny had no choice but to throw away her wand and become a muggle. Ginny now works as a checkout girl at the local Walmart. Well at least she does during the day. When she's not ringing up people she mostly works at a stripper at the local "Big Boobs R Us". As we have said earlier, Ginny had really grown up. Ginny had really filled out in all of the right places. HER BOOBS WERE HUGE. So now she uses her "talents' to her best advantage and makes a thousand dollars in tips a night. If you're in the neighborhood..you should really stop by...just ask for "Nasty Red".

Ronald Weasley went and did the unthinkable..he created a naked dance troupe. Yes that's right. Ronald is now on Broadway starring in "Les Naked" it's really a beautiful story of naked men dancing to Britney Spears music. It's kind of hot. He was so fufilled with his career, that he finally did the truly unthinkable..he married Lord Voldie. They now are truly in love, and live in a beautiful manor in the country side. They haven't yet had children..but are trying. (Ew could you imagine Voldemort giving birth?) They actually happen to live right next door to our next victim.

Hermione Granger suffered huge losses after the bad fan fiction fiasco of 2005. After being crushed to pieces by Ronald Weasley, she packed up and her and her horrendous hair took the world by storm. Well not so much the world..as the library. In that very same lover she came back into contact with the true love of her life...Madame Pince. That's right, Hermione Granger and Madame Pince are now happily married with seventeen children with horrendous hair just like their..fathers? Mothers? It doesn't really matter what it is exactly..let's just say that these follicles could one day ruin the world as we know it by blocking the earth from the rays of the sun and therefore killing all life forms. But you know..whatever.

So there you have it..the "true" story. Well no. Actually I lied. None of this stuff actually happened at all. Don't you remember how I "subtly" set the sequel up? The gang actually walked into another torture chamber as they left the room. Just to be tortured yet again by even worse fan fiction! This was just kind of a nice prologue for the fans...cough as if there are any. And a little special celebration for the sixth book actually coming out! Woohoo! Two days! But anyways..as soon as the sixth book is read by me...the sequel will be posted. Remember..as always...Read and Review!