Disclaimer: It all belongs to J.K. Rowling, not me

Sirius felt the water run down his face. The pounding sound of the steady water had a calming effect. Naturally Potter had the worst timing in the world. He had walked in on him at breaking point. He'd never hear the end of it if Potter caught him crying, of all things. And why had Potter acted embarrassed? Why had he gone as far as to apologize?

He kicked the shower wall in anger.

Ow! Stupid concrete wall! He hopped around on one foot for a few seconds until the pain dulled.

He'd almost started crying. Crying, for Merlin's sake.

He could barely remember the last time he'd cried. It had to do with Regulus breaking one of his favorite toys, a toy his Uncle Alphard had given him. It was the last toy his Uncle had given him before his parents stopped inviting him to birthday parties and other family events.

His Uncle Alphard still sent him letters, but he only received the ones his parents weren't able to intercept.

Blacks did not cry.

Blacks did not laugh.

Blacks did not yell and let their temper get the best of them.

After hearing this rule, he had smartly (well it hadn't been the wisest question) asked his mother why then was she always yelling at him. Blacks could yell only under the most extreme circumstances and his behavior always fell under that category apparently.

Blacks were calm, cool and collected in all situations.

And he had almost cried.

And what had been the cause of almost breaking one of the cardinal rules? The origin of his problem had been his family (again) or to be more specific, his father.

He finally had the courage to open the package his father had handed him his first day at Hogwarts.

His father's ring had stared up at him surrounded by green and black tissue wrapping. The Black crest could be seen inside the dark stone and snakes twisted around the sides of the ring in decoration. The snakes, their carved tongues flicking, looked at him as if mocking his very existence. This ring had been passed down for generations and generations, from father to eldest son. It stood for everything the Black family preached and now it stood for the failure Sirius had become. He couldn't wear it now, not after everything that had happened. And he couldn't very well mail it back either.

Sirius leaned back onto the wall in the shower closing his eyes. The few tears that had managed to trickle down his face, mixed with the water droplets flowing down the drain, destroying all evidence of his moment of weakness. He took a deep breath taking the sadness he felt and turning it into anger.

Anger at James Potter?

Anger at the Gryffindors?

Anger at his cousins?

Anger at his parents?

Anger at his father?

He wasn't sure.

But feeling angry was better then feeling sad. He turned off the water and slowly dried himself off.

He re-entered the dormitory calm, cool and collected.

It was an unusually warm day for late October. The sun streamed into the windows of the boy's dorm early one Sunday morning. It coaxed the boys out of their comfortable nests, into the Great Hall for breakfast. The ceiling mirroring the weather outside, teased the boys while they hurriedly finished up their breakfast, so they could make some use of such weather.

Remus found himself sitting under a shady tree trying to correct his Potions essay that was due the next day. One particular line he was particularly having trouble rewording. About ten minutes ago James had appeared having somehow obtained a Quaffle for them to pass around. Remus had come to conclusion that the boy was obsessed with Quidditch. It was a good thing that Remus had conveniently forgotten to mention to him that a second cousin on his father's side played for one of the local teams. He'd never hear the end of it. James would probably want to get an autograph or meet him or get free tickets to a game.

James informed him with a frown that they were not allowed to borrow brooms, but they were free to throw around the Quaffle. Remus was secretly relieved because he had only just learned how to properly fly and that was with two hands firmly on the broom at all times. If they had played Quidditch (he knew James would have talked him into playing) it would have required him to fly with one or no hands while throwing around a ball. He had decided that though Quidditch was enjoyable, he would let other people do the entertaining.

Remus had told James, he would only join in if he could recruit some other students. Remus had figured he would give up and let Remus enjoy the sunshine while getting ahead on this weeks workload.

He should have known. This was Potter he was talking about.

Just as Remus was putting the finishing touches on the page and putting his book back in his sack, he noticed someone was blocking the sun. As he looked up there was James, a grin as wide as all of England, with the Quaffle still in his arms. Remus noticed behind him stood Cory Connor and fellow first year, Andrianna Phillips. She had long wavy dark hair that was now in a ponytail.

"Come on, Lupin. Let's go play," James said still grinning. He threw the Quaffle up in the air and caught it as if demonstrating all the fun Remus would miss if he didn't join in.

"Did Potter blackmail you into this?" Remus asked with amusement.

Cory laughed, "Well apparently James didn't feel that sitting in the courtyard playing Gobstones was a proper way of enjoying such a splendid day."

Andrianna nodded. "I was winning too," she complained, "Anyway, I'm thinking of trying out for Chaser next year."

"You'll have me to compete with," James pointed out.

"There will be two openings next year. And this way I can get some information on the skill of one of my competitors."

"Well we aren't using brooms," James said quickly, "It won't exactly be an accurate display of my talents."

"He's already worried I'll beat him," she said winking at Conner.

At first they stood in a circle and threw the Quaffle around. They quickly grew bored of that, so they formed two teams: Remus and James vs. Andrianna and Cory. Using their bags and books they made two goals. The rules were as follows: you received five points for physically getting the ball across the line, three points if you threw it to a teammate standing in the goal, and if you were in possession of the ball and the other team tagged you, you had to give it to them. Though it wasn't really similar to Quidditch it forced them to practice precise and quick passing, which was a crucial aspect of being a chaser. A small crowd of bored students came to watch and eventually two Ravenclaw first years joined in.

When they were about to call it a day, a group of Slytherins approached. Bellatrix Black was flanked by two boys who Remus didn't know. James later told him their names were Lestrange and McNair.

"Oh look at the ickle first year Gryffindors!"

"Stupid blood traitors and mudbloods don't even know how to properly play a game of Quidditch. It's a disgrace I tell you."

"No way Gryffindor will win the cup this year or ever again, if this is the way they are training!"

"Slytherin all the way!"

James looked enraged that his name could be used in the same sentence as 'disgrace to the game of Quidditch'. He opened his mouth to retort and probably would have if Frederick and the two seventh year Gryffindor prefects hadn't shown up at that precise moment.

"Is there a problem?" Frederick asked.

"Come on! Why is everyone standing around? Everyone get moving. There is nothing to see here," one of the prefects said to the crowd that had momentarily formed. This did the trick because the Slytherins scattered as well.

With the Slytherins out of the way there was no one for Frederick to take his anger out on, so he lashed out on James.

"Where did you get that?" Frederick pointed to the Quaffle which was now on the ground beside James. He had let it drop as soon as the Slytherins had begun taunting them.

"I didn't steal it! I asked if I could borrow it to practice with!" James answered angrily.

"What was going on here anyway? Starting fights again James?"

"I told you, we were just playing! We weren't doing anything wrong!"

"Its true," Cory said loudly and then more quietly when he realized everyone was now looking at him, "We didn't do anything to provoke the Slytherins. They are always looking for a reason to start a fight."

"Give me the Quaffle. I'll return it," Frederick said crisply. The other two prefects were frowning at Frederick, but they were cousins, so they figured it wasn't right to interfere.

James's eyes were filled with anger and he kicked the Quaffle purposely in the opposite direction of where Frederick stood. With that completed, he turned and threw up his hands in frustration. Remus quickly followed him, though he knew he had to be very careful with his word choice with James.

"What's with him?" James asked no one in particular as Remus had just caught up with him as he finished these words, "He's always so hard on me! He feels as if…as if it's his duty to discipline me."

"Don't know," Remus said his words sounding rather more cheerful then he had planned.

James turned his head and glared at him, "He's always made sure I stood properly, acted properly, and even shared properly my toys with other children. Though if anyone touched or even breathed too closely on his collection of Quidditch figures, he'd go crazy…Does that make any sense?"

Remus tried to make an understanding sound, but it came out more like a bored cough.

"And now he actually has the authority. I could strangle whoever had the brilliant idea of giving that boy authority. He's a prefect now, so he can yell at me all he likes and dock points for whatever reason he feels. Never mind that I'm in his house and that I'm family, no Frederick always has to do what's right."

"Ah James, there has to be a reason for him to dock points and I really believe he's just looking out for you."

"By making me look like a fool in front of everyone? Now everyone probably thinks I'm a thief because of course I stole the Quaffle, why would I do the sensible thing and ask to borrow one. And then making it seem that I'm not even responsible enough to return it."

"He was just showing off his power and authority in front of those seventh year prefects," Remus said as James sighed exasperatedly as if Remus wasn't getting his point, "And judging by their faces, I don't think he succeeded. I believe they felt as you did, that he had no right to tell you off for something that is not against any of the written rules."

James sort of gave him a smile, "He just better not say anything to me during dinner or I might just have to hex him…even if it means doing it in front of all the Professors."

"Haven't you gotten in enough trouble?"

"I only have a few more detentions left and then what am I going to do with all my spare time?"

Remus gave him a look.

"Some things are worth getting a detention for, Remus. Always remember that."

For the next day, James complained about his cousin to anyone who would listen. He found out from older students that Frederick was one of the strictest prefects Gryffindor had seen in awhile.

Frederick approached him later that day and if you searched carefully for underlying meaning behind his words you may have found a hint of apology.

Frederick as always was accompanied by the other fifth year prefect, Amber.

"James, may I have a word with you?"

"What do you want?"

"It was confirmed you gained previous permission of the use of the Quaffle."

"Great! Thanks for the update," James spat and with a smirk left his cousin still standing with his mouth open and pointer finger in the air.

As James distanced himself from the pair he could hear Frederick mutter to Amber, "He's always like that with any kind of authority figure."

It was that same week that James was finally free of his detentions with Black. The last detentions consisted of cleaning random rooms around the castle. McGonagall had sat them down at the end of their last one and forced them to eat the biscuit she offered before she would go on. She said she felt they had both come a long way. Then she began rambling about how she had hoped they had not only learned something about each other, but about themselves. It was only three weeks of cooperative detention; it was as if though McGonagall had expected a miracle to happen.

The next week, James and Remus were comparing their homework for Potions. Professor York not only expected long detailed answers, but perfect grammar, spelling, and sentence structure.

"You sure its 24 minutes you have to boil it, I swear I read somewhere it was for only 21 minutes?"

James wasn't listening though his mind was on something else.

"What do make of what happened?" he finally asked Remus.

"Make of what? Do you think this answer is long enough, Professor York specifically said it has to be at least…"

"Would you just forget about homework for a minute?"

Remus rolled his eyes, but placed his pen on the table and gave James his full attention.

"I was thinking about what happened today in Herbology."

"Oh…I'm sure the two Ravenclaw's your plant sent to the infirmary are fine now. They wouldn't allow first years to handle a plant that could actually do permanent damage."

"That's not exactly what I'm talking about."

That afternoon James had been coerced into partnering with Black. The Herbology lesson started out as usual. They were instructed to find a partner and that was where the trouble began. James had turned to ask Remus if he wanted to be partners as usual. Remus on the other hand had already promised Peter. He went to ask Cory, but he saw Lily Evans had already asked him. James might have had a chance to avoid the inevitable. He was acquainted with most of the Ravenclaws. One of them would surely partner up with him, but…

"Mr. Potter, can I have a word with you?"

James nodded and went up to the teacher slightly worried. He couldn't remember breaking any rules in this class.

"I wanted to congratulate you. You did most excellently on the first quiz, best in the class. I'm sure your parents would be most proud."

"Er- thanks."

She then cleared her throat and with a smile in his direction, "Does everyone have a partner?"

Most students nodded their heads and James frowned realizing he now would be stuck with who ever did not, which would probably be someone everyone in the room least desired.

"Mr. Black, who is your partner?" Professor Meeley asked gently.

"I don't have one. It seems I am the odd one out."

"Oh, perfect. Mr. Potter will gladly pair up with you."

"I will?" James uttered before he could stop himself.

"Yes our assignment today is much too difficult for a first year to handle alone. Now every group please carefully grab one of those pots and one of the purple containers over to the side there. Come on what are you waiting for? Begin."

James slowly made his way toward a sullen Black.

"Just so you know, I didn't volunteer to be your partner."

"Don't worry. It never crossed my mind, though how very 'noble' of you to be my partner anyway."

The only reason James ignored the mocking tone of Blacks voice was because he saw an open spot next to where Remus and Peter had situated themselves. It wouldn't be nearly as horrible to be with Black, if Remus was nearby.

"We'll be working next to Remus and Peter. I'll grab the plant, you can get the container."

The Professor instructed them to carefully grind the yellow leaves into a powder-like substance that then would have to be mixed with one of the red liquids in the purple container. Then using this strange tool that would blow the ground up leaves over the plant in almost a mist form, they had to feed the plant slowly. Patience was the key because the plant (James couldn't remember how to properly pronounce it) would get aggravated if you force fed it or frightened it by loud noises. The Professor warned the class twice that if they upset their plant, it would shoot a liquid that would cause a burning sensation if it came in contact with skin. The Professor felt they were a responsible enough class to deal with this plant as long as everyone followed the proper safety precautions.

James sighed loudly bored with the grinding already and having no one to talk to. Remus was busy helping Peter and wasn't able to keep a continuous conversation. Peter didn't seem to be apt in any subject so far.

So when James overheard the two Ravenclaw boys working beside him talking about an article in the Daily Prophet, he jumped at the chance to join in.

"What was that about?"

One of the boys turned, his name was Howard, "Four Aurors caught the group of wizards that have being going around scaring and torturing Muggles. It says one of the Muggles was an elderly gentleman and they scared him to death."

"Do you have the article?" James asked curiously. His parents had talked about the random Muggle attacks that were popping up everywhere and that the Ministry was sure it was being done by the same group of wizards.

"Yea, here you go. I think it mentions your grandparents, Catherine and William Potter, quotes them actually."

"That's them." James said noticing a picture of them along with other Ministry people on the second page. He read over the page that mentioned their retirement quickly.

The retirement of two of the greatest Aurors of the century will certainly be felt in the Ministry in the next few weeks. Catherine and William Potter will be missed, but in their absence their work will always be remembered. They will be each receiving an award for excellence service at the retirement party the Ministry is throwing. Their most well known capture was a good 40 years ago and involved the capturing of the group of wizards who had tortured and killed ten Ministry official's children.

James next turned to a previous page that held the story of the recent capture.

Muggles, witches, and wizards everywhere can rest easier tonight with the recent capture of the elusive bandit of wizards. "The capture came as a great surprise," one Ministry official commented. The group of Aurors that captured these alleged wizards were on a break with their trainees in a local Muggle coffee shop when they heard screaming down the road. With the element of surprise on their side all eight of the wizards were caught and hearings for them will begin next week.

Howard said excitedly, "Wow it must be really cool to have grandparents who are Aurors and famous ones at that. I bet they've told you all sorts to stories."

"My grandparents hardly talk about their work and especially their famous capture. They say it was terrible time and three of their co-workers were killed during the capture. It was just luck that they escaped."

"Are your parents Aurors too?" the other boy John asked.

"No, my Dad oversees some sort of Ministry activity. I'm not really sure what. I know it has to do with all three branches of Ministry activity: Aurors, Hit Wizards and the Unspeakables. He says after hearing all my grandparents stories he could never actually be part of the action, but he can't just sit back and let the maniac purebloods (he glanced in Blacks direction quickly) have their way either."

To his surprise Black asked, "Does it mention the names of those that were captured?" His voice was hollow and tense. Black always stayed out of conversations. He would usually sit in class in silence staring out the window.

John looked rather frightened about being addressed by Black; Howard answered quickly "No, just mentions members of the group they capture consisted of eight males roughly five in their early twenties, three in there late thirties. They just said they were in the service of the 'Dark Lord'."

Black's face went white.

"Have you heard that word before?" Howard asked cautiously.

"They were probably related to you, right Black?" James asked amused.

"I've never heard of any Dark Lords" said John, "I bet they are just making it up. My uncle is friends with the Minister of Magic and would have --"

Black cut him off, "I have heard that word before."

"No surprise there. Everyone knows your family hates Muggles," James said nonchalantly, "I bet they were part of the Muggle torturing. I bet half your family is going to prison right at this moment."

Black completely ignored his words and just kept talking. James noticed that many students around him had stopped chopping and feeding their plants and were listening to the conversation. Remus and Peter were both looking from Black to James as if afraid another fight would break out between the two.

"It was last December and we were attending the big family Christmas party. A man by the name of Tom, I don't remember his last name, was there and he made a big speech. I didn't listen closely, since I was always bored at these family functions. I do remember the adults telling us this was an important event in history and that Pure-bloods in the end will prevail. He wanted complete obedience and loyalty to the Dark Lord and wanted his followers to be called Death something. Death Followers or Death Order… I can't really remember. At the time they were just setting up and getting support…"

"That just proves that your family was involved in this Muggle torturing," James said grimly.

"Just because my family wants to keep our world pure, does not mean they go around torturing muggles. First of all my parents would never do something that could possibly go public and ruin the Black name. And my father, like yours works for the Ministry and most likely was helping them catch those fools."

"Or more likely feed them false information."

Black growled, "I suggest you gather up evidence before you start throwing out statements like that. It might just get you into a situation you don't want to be in."

"Is that some sort of threat?"

"I wouldn't dream of threatening you, but I have a whole load of Slytherin cousins who would gladly take any opportunity to show a blood traitor his place in our world."

James locked eyes with Sirius daring him to continue.

"Listen Potter, my family may not have all the right ideas, but they don't go around killing people just because of their blood status. When they've talked about mudbl- Muggleborns they've never once mentioned killing them off. They feel they should be put in separate schools, away from the Pure-bloods. Hogwarts should educate only the purest of wizard families."

"Well actually I do have evidence. I wrote to my parents and they sent me some Black family history. First of all there was Phineas Nigellus, he was the worst headmaster Hogwarts had ever seen, he had all these ridiculous rules, refused to even let in certain students based on their blood status until the Ministry intervened and then there is one of your cousins, Araminta Meliflua who only last year tried to force a Ministry Bill to allow Muggle-hunting. Need I go on?"

"You don't understand," Black declared his face rather blank, but his eyes gave away his distress. He stood up abruptly, swung his bag over his shoulder. This in turn caused his bag to knock over their plant and it squirted a toxic liquid all over the two Ravenclaw students in front of them as a defense mechanism.

The two students were sent to the Hospital wing and five points were taken off Gryffindor for Black's carelessness.

So that brought them back to this evening.

"I'm not quite sure what you are getting at James?"

"I don't even know exactly what I'm talking about. But I've heard my Grandparents describe the day their friends were killed. And with these Muggle attacks…it makes you wonder…"

"It was probably just an isolated event. I wouldn't worry."

"And what was Black going on about? Meetings and plots? I don't care what you say Remus, his family is into the Dark Arts and there is nothing good associated with that type of magic."

James sat deep in thought for a moment.

"And there is one other thing I don't understand…"

"What is that?"

"Why did Black defend his family like that?"

"You were coming down on them hard. Even if his family was involved…"

"His family hates him though. They think he's a traitor, just like all Gryffindors."

"They are still his family."

"So then whose side is he on?"

"Does he have to be on a side?"

"Is he with Gryffindor or is he with Slytherin? Is he on the side of good or the side of evil? Is he with us or against us?"

"I don't think he even knows," Remus answered quietly ending their discussion.

A/N: At this time of the story Voldemort is only just rising and gathering followers. He hasn't shown his true colors yet and how far he is capable of going to reach his goal. James at this point in his life sees the world as good (Gryffindors) and evil (Slytherins). It's black and white to him, but he'll learn slowly that it's not that simple.

I saw PoA on Sunday and though I enjoyed it I was disappointed that the back story of the Marauders was not fully explained. The movie had a potential to be great and I thought it was only ok.

Anyway read and review as always. Let me know what you think of this chapter.

And thanks to all those who have reviewed. Quick note to one of my reviewers J : this is my first story and I do not have any other stories under another pen names.

Thanks for reading everybody.