"In a cup of Tea"

by Shelly Webster and Arsen Dalavaccio

Disclaimer: We own our own tea stashes and biscuits (well, cookies for Arsen). But that in no way suggests any ownership of Escaflowne on our parts.

A/N: Who and what makes people assign gender to inanimate objects around them? Why is my baby (aka the computer I type my fics on, that shares my bed with me every night) female, not male? Just pondering…Anyhow, yes, it's likely I will shift between British to American rules, but Sei's the Gaean version of being British and Folken's not. Oh, I suppose I should say this now: this is slash. Or, well, it will be. I have slash chapters on my baby just waiting to be formatted and betaed. Thanks to D, even though she's so so busy, we love her anyhow.

Shout-outs:

Lady Thompson: love, I don't mind. But you're a dork. And you know why I am slow with my updates! I spaz!

Sakura Shinguji-Albatou: I most humbly apologize for delaying a renewal of Sei goodness to read. The next chapter will go up next week though, no worries. The second word for me has me baffled. "SUGOI!" Huh?

strangedream: I'm glad you liked it so far. I'm afraid the philosophy doesn't come into play in many of the later chapters, but hints of it remain…

Threshie: Fate or not, the pairing works. I shall prove myself to you, then the world! Besides, we all know your secret. Yaifa waves to Fuu

Chapter 3

Family and Failing Words

Folken walked into Sei's place, as he was beginning to consider the infirmary. "Good evening, Sei."

"I'm sorry I parted so suddenly. You know how it is when a patient is brought in though..." Sei felt terribly rude for not even bidding Folken goodnight, despite knowing this was a companion certain to understand duty.

"Of course. It is the nature of all our work here. Emergency reparations are a must."

"This is true. I didn't get to ask this question, though." Sei paused, unsure his question would be answered even if he did ask it. "Why do you so studiously avoid Fanelia?"

"To avoid any question of loyalty." Which was somewhat truthful. In reality, he mostly did not want to have to be reminded of the place. He reminded himself well enough.

"By avoiding it, you suggest that there is a loyalty that would come into question were you there."

"Nonsense. This is simply to keep it out of the question in regards to the generals and other officials who are so quick to accuse me." Folken deeply resented this treatment, which seemed to be rooted in jealousy of his relationship with the Emperor and in distrust of all foreigners.

"Only because you are so defensive." Sei might not always be observant with people, but he had noticed that Folken found or made an answer for everything, one which left him blameless.

"I have to be defensive, Sei. If I weren't, they'd rip me apart. They've been trying to do that ever since I came here."

"Perhaps you do have to." Sei conceded this point because he had noticed that sometimes, important files were not turned over to him unless he specifically sought them out. Zaibach was not a trusting country after those years of constantly fearing invasion.

"Yes. I do." He would sip tea to avoid saying more, but there was none brewed. He glanced at his hands instead, hands which held no teacup today.

Noting where his companion's eyes looked, Sei realized his oversight. "Would you care for some tea?"

Folken nodded. He was grateful for the offer, though he would not say this.

The physician prepared the tea with the grace of years' practice. "I do enjoy having someone about who doesn't mind the nuances of this ritual."

"Nuances?" The younger man knew that the tea was pleasant to drink, but had never paid much attention to how it was made when the physician prepared it.

"Yes. How I warm the pot before I put in the tea, how I put in the milk first..." Sei knew that many people were bored by this, but it was so soothing to him – a little piece of home.

"Ah..." Folken made a mental note of what Sei mentioned, details he always forgot when Sei had him brew their drink.

"That's what it takes to make tea properly." Sei poured their cups, his head down incase he blushed. When vocalized like this, it seemed rather foolish how the ritual drew him in.

"Thank you. I shall make it next time keeping this in mind. Perhaps then you won't think it the most revolting thing you've ever tasted." Folken rarely spoke in jest, but then, it was not so common for him to speak outside of business.

"You're not from Daedalus. I don't know if you could make good tea." The physician smiled, his words teasing.

"I can learn. I'm a quick learner, you know." Even knowing the doctor had been teasing, Folken still felt the need to reassert his abilities.

"Sometimes." Sei smiled. "A bit stubborn though."

"Stubbornness is good sometimes." He smirked. After all, if there weren't any tenacity, their conversations would be a lot shorter and duller.

"At times it is. At other times, it does more harm than good."

"I agree. Dilandau is a prime example of that."

"Or Gatti."

"Yes." Folken would remark that Sei is too stubborn for his own good, but he didn't want to deal with the barrage of attacks saying that he himself is too stubborn.

"Perhaps we could play chess again?" Sei knew no other way around the dead-end their exchange had just hit.

"Yes, please." He wanted to attempt to win this time. The doctor's previous victory had to be a fluke.

"Do you have the board with you?" The medical practitioner owned no board; his brother had taken it, but it was never returned after his death.

Folken took out the checked surface, cold and smooth like its owner.

Sei began to set the board for them both. "White again?"

"No, red this time."

"Ah. Hoping it's lucky?" Sei smiled as he set down the white king, the piece which he had triumphed over.

"Not at all. I don't believe in random luck. It is a science, not some unpredictable force."

"Is that how you view everything?" Sei was so used to the views he grew up with, where nature was the balance that such a sterile perception seemed very unreal.

"Science has it's way with everything, so yes. For example, to understand what you will do in any given situation, I would study your motives and apply them there. In this example, let's say that you were on a battlefield with Dilandau. If he were to risk being hurt and not know it but you did, based on your actions and thoughts I'd say that you would rush in to help him at risk of your own life. But that is an easy thing to see."

"It is. However, science did not teach you to be liked by people." Sei had seen too much death to believe that science can fix everything. Too much death and too much life, for he would not accept the idea of mankind creating their own independently.

"I don't care if they like me or not." Which contradicted how the Draconian always seemed to mention that they do not do so with an exasperated or saddened tone.

"You would if they revolted." Sei's countenance was displeased. He was not one to like politics.

"Yes, perhaps I would. But only because I pity them."

"For what?" Sei moved a knight.

"For their mistaken ideas." He moved a knight as well.

Sei shifted a pawn. "What are they mistaken about?"

"If they were to rebel, that would be mistaken."

"To you. Not to them."

"No, not to them." He sounded exasperated. The doctor seemed to think that he never gave other points of view any attention.

"To them, you would be in the wrong."

"Of course. But I know I'm not wrong."

"Because you're never wrong? Just like you never lose at chess?" He smiled at Folken, knowing this statement was going to aggravate him a little.

"...I am wrong. Often. But until I see anything in what I believe that proves me wrong, I must make the assumption that I am right."

"I beg your pardon. What were you saying?" The Strategos wove such webs with his words that Sei could not always locate the thread of meaning betwixt the frills.

"What?" He blinked. "You didn't hear me?" Folken was unused to such a response, even from the audacious doctor.

"Your wording was unusual. I wish to be certain I understood."

"What do you think I said?"

"You believe you are right until one of your beliefs tells you that you are wrong..."

"Yes, that's it."

"I'm afraid that makes no sense." Believe and believe? But… It was all too complex for one used to little more than stitching wounds.

Folken replied nonchalantly, "It would if you'd think about it." He moved a piece. "For example, you think I am wrong. Now, how do you know that is correct? You have no way of knowing anything for certain, so you must assume that you are right, considering the factors that you do know."

"But that is using fact, not belief. One of your beliefs is that you are right, therefore you are always right."

"Yes. Tell me, Sei... How often do you think to yourself, 'I believe this is true, but it is actually wrong'?"

"My thoughts aren't usually in words." He wasn't meaning to be difficult, exactly, because this was true. His thoughts were feelings and abstraction, not language.

The tall man shot a negative look Sei's way. "Words are how you communicate, therefore my example of something you might think is in dialogue form."

"I do know many of my beliefs are wrong. Including my belief that Dilandau will be ok. I wish it were true, but I know enough to know that Zaibach does not care much if he dies." Sei was saddened to make such an admission, especially in words spoken aloud.

"Then how can you truly believe it, if you know it is wrong?"

"I have to believe it. But I do not see how you can believe you are always right." He shifted a bishop while trying to shift his thoughts from their darkened path.

"I didn't say that I was always right." The Strategos moved a rook. "At the time I believe something, I believe it is right. If that is proven wrong, I do not believe it anymore. Is this really so difficult to comprehend?"

"I told you that your wording was unusual. Worded as such, it makes more sense."

"Forgive me. Your lack of understanding about my way of thinking makes me uncertain of how to word things for you." He took a sip of tea.

Sei was unsure if this was an insult. "I have been amongst the unthinking too long."

"Oh?" Though he was not sipping, the Strategos kept the teacup near his face to savor the aroma.

"Soldiers fight; they take orders. Even their leaders plan little."

"Yes. That is why I dislike talking to them and why I was so surprised when I met you."

"Ah. What did you expect me to be, then?" He moved a pawn, curious what the other man thought of him.

"I expected you to be a cold, unfeeling bastard who cares for nothing and no one and does his best to make life hell for his patients." He moved a pawn at random, having no reason for doing so. Folken was not even paying attention to the game anymore, despite his previous hope to win.

"Why would you expect that? A doctor's goal should never be to cause pain. It's in our oath: First, do no harm." He moved a knight, capturing a pawn.

"I expected it because I have seen it all too often. Zaibach's doctors seem inherently cruel."

"I am not from Zaibach. Had you known that before you came to see me?" Zaibach's military was built with a great deal of foreigners for a nation so untrusting, as he had gathered from the medical records on file.

"No, I did not. But it hardly matters where you are from originally. Many people here were once foreigners, and yet they grow to act just like everyone else here."

"Not everyone here is the same. Did you ever meet Yaifa, the Dragon Slayer?"

"Yaifa..." Folken's eyes narrowed as he searched his head.

"He has glasses." Sei was unsure what other physical characteristic he could isolate.

"Why, yes. I believe I had to help him get a new pair once."

"Ah. He's quieter than the others. Not very good at being a soldier, I understand. Well, for being one of Dilandau's soldiers, that is."

"Oh? That is a shame." He instantly thought of Van.

"Is soldiering so important?" It seemed so unappealing. A life where risks and death were frequent, familiar companions.

"We need good soldiers. If he is not good at it, then perhaps he would be better suited somewhere else. His death would not be necessary."

"What else would he do?"

"I could find something for him."

"Would Dilandau let any of his men leave? I think not." Sei was almost certain his charge would try to harm someone who took one of "his men".

"He wouldn't have a choice in the matter."

"He's not stable enough to lose one right now." The corner of Sei's mouth quirked. He wasn't certain Dilandau was ever actually stable, as the youth hadn't come to him until recently.

Folken sighed. "Very well."

"Is anything else on your mind?" Folken's sighs clung at him. The younger man was so troubled, but there was little to do about it.

Sei's straightforward and blunt words were on Folken's mind, but he didn't want to say that. Sei was just bugging the hell out of him. "Do you think there is?" The tall man diverted the question.

"I think so, otherwise you would have moved by now." Somehow Sei was able to remember the game, but Folken kept forgetting.

Folken looked down, suddenly remembering that they were playing chess. Damnit! You're not keeping pace with the situation! He gave short laugh, and drank more of the tea.

The doctor also sipped some tea. "Well?"

"Nothing..."

"Ah." He sipped more tea, his eyes not leaving Folken.

"...nothing..." He glanced around, unable to escape Sei.

"What else is there?" Sei's mind was now wandering, and taking his mouth with it.

"Nothing, I said!" He sipped his tea angrily.

"I meant as an alternative to nothing. Everything has some nothing to it."

Folken gave him an odd look. "What does that mean?"

"...I don't know if I can explain it." Sei looked at the table while he tried to find the right words for his thoughts.

Folken laughed. For once Sei was in the position of struggling with an explanation.

"It's just...nothing is everywhere. As if nothing is a substance of its own, though." Sei knew his words were coming out wrong, words leaving his thoughts wide open to misinterpretation.

"Interesting." Folken was listening, hoping to hear something to say what the doctor actually meant.

"Nothing...is important. Without nothing, the somethings don't mean as much."

Folken decided to try to help the struggling physician. Language was clearly not the physician's strong point always. "Without nothingness, we wouldn't appreciate the things that fill our lives?"

"That is a good way of putting it, yes." It wasn't quite what he had been thinking, but close enough that he would accept it.

Folken sipped tea. He moved a piece on the board. Just to make Sei happy.

"I have a question for you." He moved a rook.

"Yes?" Folken moved a pawn.

"Have you ever tried writing out what you would say to your brother if you thought he would listen?" Sei realized his words were very much unwanted and tried to explain the motivation behind them. "I just had thought it might be a useful exercise."

He blinked. Mentally, he felt as if this shaky ground has just started falling to pieces beneath him, but in a world where his wings were of no use. "Well...no...I didn't...I didn't think of that." His words were uncertain when he first answered. Then he spoke firmly and coldly to give a final answer. "There's no sense in it, really."

"It would make things clearer in your mind, probably."

"I'd rather not."

"Why not? Are you afraid of what you might find?"

"No." He had some idea of what Sei is trying to get at, but didn't quite understand. He stared at the doctor with narrowed eyes.

"Why don't you want to do this then?"

"Because you suggested it. Because you're trying to trick me into doing something." Folken had been shown little trust for so long that he no longer trusted. He did not see how much he had become one of the people he was trying to save.

"I don't need trickery. That's Shesta and Dalet's field."

"Ah, yes...the infamous pranksters. I shall have to punish them sometime. I know they're responsible for that damned singing..."

"I also heard something about maids uniforms..." Sei's mouth smiled under twinkling eyes.

Folken shut his eyes. He never blushes, otherwise at this time he would be crimson.

"You do not like this subject."

"And why should I? Everyone has things they dislike talking about."

"You did not seem to like what we were speaking of before either. Do you like conversation on anything other than your philosophy?"

"I find philosophy something enjoyable to talk about. And what other topic is it that you mean?"

"Every topic. Your betrayal of Fanelia, your deathwish, your relationship to your brother, your idealism..."

Folken's eyes shut, hiding the one feature most likely to reveal the emotions he so carefully masked.

"I am rather inquisitive. Don't know why a locked box like you would want that in a companion." It really was an odd match, as Sei saw it, though he was glad for a friend he could talk with like this.

"A locked box?" Folken looked as if his stomach had rolled over more times than he could count.

"You never let anything out. You rarely even smile."

"Well, I'm so fucking sorry to be a mystery to you, Sei." He set the cup down and leant close to Sei. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I detest letting people get to know me because they always see something wrong? I can't say anything with being opposed like this."

"I was not trying to be offensive."

"You don't have to try."

"No one is perfect. Others will always find something wrong."

"Yes, I know this. But to be stopped at every turn is intolerable." Folken's job was hard enough in that area without his teatime colleague behaving the same way.

"It happens. Do you think my treatment is never questioned?"

"Oh, undoubtedly. You work with the Dragon Slayers and Dilandau. I've never met a group more resistant to medicinal practices."

"What did you expect, after all Dilandau goes through?"

"I didn't say it was unexpected. I merely meant to let you know that I understand."

"And yet you resist opening up." After a pause filled with both men sipping their tea again, Sei asked one of the questions tickling his mind. "What am I to you?"

Folken narrowed his eyes. "Apparently someone who just wants to change who I am." He looked tired. He still didn't get any sleep, or even rest. His mind would not permit it.

"That's what you are. I want you to be who you are. I meant, would you call me friend? Because friends are open and honest with each other. Not in every way, but moreso than strangers."

"I don't know what I'd call you." He didn't want to think about it either.

"Apparently a prying old man..." Sei's tone was wry.

"That might be one, yes."

"But nothing else comes to mind?"

"You're confusing. And a damned good chess player."

"Everyone is confusing."

"Yes."

"You more so than most I meet."

"Oh? I suppose I should be flattered?"

"It is neither compliment nor insult."

"Ah. Another thing...you seem intent upon saving me from myself. But I've already told you several times that I do not have any need to be saved."

"Then why do you come back? I'm a doctor. I save people."

Folken was very slow to answer. At last he found an answer which Sei would have a hard time turning against him. "For the tea, of course. You make wonderful tea." He laughed tiredly. "What a terrible profession to have during a war..."

"If that were why you come, you would trouble me for the recipe more. I agree about the profession for wartime. But I can't let them die without trying." He was talking about more than just the soldiers.

"I think you would be remiss not to try."

"And yet you are displeased that I do not wish to let you die?"

"I think there's always hope of helping someone." He laughed and smiled a bit. "You are strange. Perhaps I am not altogether upset that someone does not want me to die."

"Ah. Was that so hard to acknowledge?"

"Perhaps it was." He sipped the herbal concoction. "But it doesn't change the fact that I will."

"I know I cannot change it. But I can try to convince you to."

"I get the feeling you're going to try incessantly."

"What else is there to do?" Sei eyed the other man, amused. After all, they both seemed to feel there was nothing to occupy them on the Vione.

Folken shrugged and drank more tea. He refilled the now empty cup.

"Would you please top me off as well?"

"Certainly." He refilled Sei's cup, moving with his usual efficiency and grace, despite his exhaustion.

"Thank you."

"Sei, you won't get anywhere with me. Your arguments will be in vain. I simply wish to warn you of this now." The Strategos was almost frantic inside with his need to build more walls against the physician.

"Perhaps. But, as you say, I would be remiss not to try."

He seemed more interested in possibly warding off Sei, convincing him not to try. "Yes, I did say that, didn't I?"

"You did." He smiled.

He sighed, looking down at the tea. "What will you do when the war ends, Sei?"

"That might depend on Dilandau."

"Oh?"

"He needs me if he is alive. He'll never admit it, though."

"Yes. I doubt he could make it on his own." He had doubts about whether Dilandau could make it at all, but he wouldn't say that now.

"If...if he doesn't make it, I will probably go...home. Become a village doctor."

"Care for people in your hometown? Do you think you'll ever marry?"

"I don't know if it would be my hometown, but somewhere in Daedalus. And I doubt I will ever find someone I would want to marry. It's a bit late to be looking...not to mention, no one really caught my eye there way back when."

The younger man smiled. "You could always find someone. That's what they say, isn't it? That there's always someone out there for everyone."

"Do you believe it?" Sei raised his eyebrows doubtfully.

"No. I have no interest in romance, really."

"Did you ever find someone you thought you might want to marry?"

"No." He shook his head to reinforce his statement. "I never had the time to look. When I was younger, I was always training to be king. I didn't have time to make friends or talk to anyone. I came here, and...well, it was just out of the question."

"Why?" From what Sei could tell, Folken's prime, the years when he should have been finding love or at least lust, were spent in Zaibach.

"Romance is not highly looked upon in Zaibach. Not to mention that I never found anyone of interest."

"Ah. And now you won't have the chance..."

"I don't feel upset about it." In fact, he sounded colder and more indifferent than usual.

"Part of you does." Sei was learning that with Folken, none of the typical expectations apply.

"What makes you say that? I have no wish for love. I do love children, but that does not bother me so much. I have my two girls, I am fine with that."

"The look in your eyes defies that. It's buried, but you wish you had a proper family. Your parents were very much in love, weren't they?"

"Yes, I suppose they were." He always would add 'suppose' to his remarks, as if he was completely detached from it and could infer nothing.

"You suppose?" Sei was noticing how much this phrase was used by his companion.

"Yes. I really wouldn't know. That's not exactly something parents tell their children, is it?"

"It's something one sees sometimes."

"Then, from what I've seen, yes, they were in love. They were hated by everyone for it, but they loved each other so that it did not matter."

"That is a wonderful thing."

Folken nodded.

"My grandparents lived with us. Father's parents. They were also very much in love."

"That must have been crowded." Folken smiled a bit. "Even after all that time, they were?"

"It was just the 6 of us, then the 5, so not very crowded. It was...homey. Yes. After all that time, and we all saw it. I always wished I had someone to grow old with."

"It is sad that you're still alone. I've seen how you and Dilandau react to each other. You think of him like a son?" For once, Folken was taking enough interest in the conversation to not use an open opportunity to mock Sei's age.

"...yes." Sei did not admit this very easily, but he knew Folken would not do anything about it, at least not at present. "Things could be better, but he is the closest thing I have found to family here."

The Strategos nodded. "Then he is lucky to have someone that cares about him as you do."

"I suppose. Do you have anyone here to take care of or to take care of you?"

"Yes. The girls. Nariya and Eriya."

"Ah. That is good then. You so often seem like you have no one."

"They have been away training for some time. And they shouldn't have to help me through my own sufferings. I do not wish to be such a burden to them."

"It's part of caring. It makes people want to help others through suffering."

"I'm certain that growing up as they did has been hard enough already."

"Oh?"

"Yes. When I found them, they were under attack from a mob of villagers. They've suffered immense discrimination from the day they were born and have had precious little to hold on to."

"Do they know yet that you are dying?"

He looked down. "No."

"Does anyone but me?"

"No."

"Why have you told no one?" Even though Sei had picked out the signs rather than being told, he still felt something at being the only one to know something so personal to Folken.

"It is not necessary for them to know yet."

"Death is not easy to deal with. Especially if you are their family now. And perhaps their lives only prepared them to help you with your burden." Sei did know that if they meant so much to Folken they deserved to know.

He sat in silence for a time, thinking. "It's not as if they will be left with nothing, Sei."

"What will you leave them with, other than the knowledge that you would not tell them this?"

Folken set his cup down and rose from the table. He headed for the door.

"Have I offended you?" Sei cringed inwardly, knowing this happened so often with their interactions. He always seemed to ask the wrong thing, the obvious that should be unspoken.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Sei." He declined to answer the older man's question, only indicating that he would return.

"Until then, Folken."

"Goodnight." With that he left, the cloak making him hard to see in the shadows.