Paper Mache

Disclaimer- I own nothing (

A/N- I would like to dedicate this to my best friend Jen, who has been bugging me to write this phic, and Jen, I know you wont like the ending, but I had to do it, its habit.

This phan phic is slightly AU.

Erik sat alone in his lair after he had seen Christine on the roof with the fop. After he made a promise to the skies that she would rue the day she denied and betrayed him, he ran back down to his lair once more, refusing to emerge until he had a plan to capture Christine's heart. He thought about his talents trying to find a foolproof plan. He could always play music and sing to her to draw her back to him, but that would be so overdone. How many times was he supposed to woo the girl into falling for him? No… he had to come up with a foolproof plan. He could draw her something, for e was a skilled artist, but that seemed to… MichaelAngelo-ish. He could construct a building for her, for he was an architect, he did build the opera house that she worked in, but he doubted that she would be impressed by a building, besides, it would take far too long.

He cast around for ideas, and sat there tapping his long musician's finger's on the white paper mache mask that he had made himself. He knew he had other talents that would be sufficient. He could always Punjab the fop, but that would scare Christine, and possibly make her angry. He could show off his sexy cape skills, but how long would that captivate her? He could… he looked around and finally, his eyes rested upon the many masks he made out of paper mache. He could make piñatas! Granted, he wasn't Spanish or Mexican, but he could pretend! Everyone loves paper mache piñatas! He could easily fashion one to look like the fop, then he himself would smash it to smithereens (he wondered if voodoo actually worked). He would fashion so many beautiful piñatas that he would be rich! Ahemricher. And Christine would fall for him and his wonderful candy filled piñatas. But where to get the candy?

At that exact moment, he heard a door knock. "Now how on earth did someone manage to build a door in my lair without my knowing it?" he thought. "There only used to be one entrance, and the door which is being knocked on isn't near it." He got up and answered the door and saw a girl scout who was selling candy "What timing!" he thought. Rink bought all the girls candy and paid her very well for it, and as she was walking away, he called after her. "Hey you! Girl! Where did this door come from? It was never there before." She said, "Things are not always what they appear to be now are they? My name is Alice, and if you'll excuse me, I have to go find someone who says he is late." And she vanished into the mist. "Odd" he thought. He saw his cat Ayesha chasing a white rabbit through his window. He shook his head and wondered if he was going insane.

He went to build his piñatas. For three months he made piñatas and sold them, keeping some for himself, mainly the ones that looked like Carlotta, the fop and himself so he could smash them. "Hey! I'm not smashing anything that looks like me." He shouted to the author. A very loud female voice answered, "No? But you can't give them to other people, they'll be afraid. You'll smash them if I say you do." He glared up at the voice, "But I don't wannaaaaa." He whined, "You didn't have to make me make piñatas of myself." The author answered, "Are you fighting with the author now my dear Erik?" He answered, "No." The author, who was getting amused with the stubborn man answered, "Good boy, because I have the power of the pen. I can make you do anything I want you to." He nodded and went back to work muttering under his breath about how he hated being under total control. "What was that, Erik?" the author's voice boomed out. "Umm… I love you?" he said in a high squeaky voice. "That's what I though," answered the author.

After three months, Erik had made enough piñatas to make Christine happy. He re-emerged from his lair and went to Christine's dressing room with a piñata that looked like a red rose with a black ribbon tied around it. He left it in her dressing room and hid behind the mirror. When Christine saw the piñata, she squealed and took of her engagement ring and threw it on the table. " A piñata! Raoul never got me a piñata, Erik must love me more!" She broke the piñata to find chocolates, and in the middle of the mass of chocolate was a real red rose with a black ribbon tied around it. Tied to the ribbon was a note, which read, "My dear Christine, I love you so much, so I made this piñata for you. I know you love chocolate, so I filled this with chocolate. Tied to the other end of this rose is an engagement ring. If you would do me the honour of being my wife, put it on. All my love, Erik"

She put the ring on and Erik emerged out of the mirror beaming. When she saw him, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. Then she said to him, "You know I would have said yes before now, but you didn't seem interested, so I had to go after the fop. But now, I'm happier than ever! I have chocolates, the best future husband ever, and on top of all that, my fiancée wont compete with me to use the hairbrush like the fop did." Erik glanced up at the ceiling and said "Thank you Stephanie! I love you and owe you my life, for I am finally happy." Christine looked up, then at Erik and said, "Hon, who are you talking to? Who is Stephanie?" "Oh! She's the author, didn't you know?" He answered. "Oh right!" Then they kissed, and Raoul walked in and saw them.

He cried out and said, "Like oh my gosh Christine! Like what do you think you're doing with that… man? Like his hair isn't half as good as mine like. Gosh, honestly like give me back my ring, like you so don't need it anymore because of that rock on your finger that even I cant afford. Like now so I can go cry and scream and throw a fit because my fiancée prefers tall dark mysterious and sexy to short blonde gay and fop." Christine gave him back the ring, and Christine and Erik lived happily ever after.

FIN

A/N- for those of you who didn't catch on, Alice is indeed Alice in Wonderland. The rabbit that Ayesha was chasing was the white rabbit.

He he, Raoul went all "valley girl" on us! Couldn't help it!