Chapter 9

(Ellie's Perspective)

"I can't take a step forward without taking two steps back."

Ellie walked fast with music flowing in her ears. She was in a hurry to get home. Her mom would be probably be waiting for her. Since she had moved back in with her mom, things had improved but not greatly. Her alcoholic mother was attending meetings and trying to get her life back in order. Ellie's father was stationed over seas. So her home life wasn't the greatest.

The one thing she looked forward to each day was school. At school she could get away from her home life. Now something like this had to happen. Why did someone have to come and rain on her parade? She was making it threw grade 11 fine on her own. She didn't need Craig messing things up. She was doing well in school and her home life was improving… what could be better than that?

Ellie opened her front door. It clamored as she closed it behind her. Her mom wasn't home. There was a letter and a plate of food left for her. Goodie… just what she wanted. To be left alone and eat by herself, she thought in a sarcastic manner.

It was spaghetti… again. Her mom still wasn't a good cook. She ate the soggy noodles. She twisted them around her fork. She didn't feel like watching TV. There was probably nothing to watch anyway. Maybe she could call Ash. Lately though, Ashley and Ellie had been kind of distant. Ellie found herself around Alex and Marco more. Ashley seemed to be slowly dissolving out of her life. If she found out about Craig… that would probably be the end of their friendship. Ellie didn't want that.

Sure, she liked Craig but since she had started going to Degrassi Ashley had been the only one she could count on. She wasn't going to stab her friend in the back over a guy.

Ellie finished her spaghetti and washed her dishes. The house felt so empty and dark. Ellie went up to her room. She glanced on her desk. There was a picture of her old boyfriend, Sean. Ellie had really loved Sean. That was another reason she couldn't have a relationship with Craig. Because she still cared for Sean. Ellie knew it was over for them… it had been for a long time. It was just too painful to let go of the memories.

Ellie turned the photo facing the wall so she wouldn't have to look at the smiling face of her ex. He had left her. Before he left he hadn't said good bye… instead he said good bye to Emma. That hurt Ellie more than anything. More than cutting herself… or her mom's alcohol abuse.

Craig seemed so different than Sean though. He seemed loyal and sweet. He had cheated on Ashley before with Manny. So the loyal was all an act. Probably just a clever way to get into someone's pants, Ellie thought.

She felt attracted to Craig… more than she would like to admit. He was like a magnet. After their kiss in the library she wanted to stay beside him. She wanted to stick to him. They both attended the same meetings. He went for help with being bi polar and she went for cutting. They had both had horrible home lives too. Things got better for him and things had started to improve for her.

Just as she sat on her bed… listing things they had in common… there was a loud thud on her window. It startled Ellie. She peeped outside her window… and there was someone waiting for her to come down.

She scowled and spoke out loud, "Now I have to deal with this."

Emma was standing in Ellie's front yard.