A/N:a/n's at the bottom-be patient :p

Disclaimer: same as always-please stop stalking me-i know your there shifty eyes form somewhere

Chapter 4(jeez 4-comitment): a problem shared is a problem halved-sure

He'd caught her there, but she needed to talk about it and this'd help her in the end. She hadn't told anyone what had happened. She' d never told anyone what he or she'd said to each other ever. She'd tried to forget but she remembered every word said. It was as though it had been seared into her mind and it couldn't be erased.

"Well OK I'll tell you."

She paused, unsure how to begin.

"Well you know how it took us all a long while to go back to the way we were when you guys came back. I mean a lot had changed, we'd changed .We all tried new people, and we tried being just friends-you know all this as well as I do.

Well-anyway-when it was right again; it was great. "She paused and smiled, remembering those times. "It was just like the year before; the four of us best friends and in love. Then, around October of our senior year Theresa's mom called, saying Ryan should get to the hospital in Chino-"

"I remember that, I was there when she called, Dad drove him down, they didn't come back for ages, like the next day."

"He called me" Marissa cut in. She had thought it going to be hard- but now she was started, she couldn't stop. "He'd called me saying he'd have to cancel our plans that day, I was like, why? He said he was at the hospital. I panicked, but he said he was fine; just a bit in shock and he tell me everything tomorrow; oh, and that he loved me." Again she paused, remembering how horribly wrong it'd gone after that.

"I didn't find out what had happened for ages, but I noticed how subdued he'd be, and how often he'd 'be busy then' or 'sorry can we reschedule?'

I didn't know what was up with him, but something was.

The day I finally found out-it was one weekend fairly near Christmas break- the weather was nice, really warm for late November. So I called Ryan and said did he want to do anything, but surprisingly enough, he was busy-'studying'- I know Ryan and he can't lie, at all. I knew something; he wasn't studying.

I don't know what I was thinking then but I had to get away, escape. I'd already lost him once and then fought so hard to get him back, I wasn't going to loose him; I couldn't loose him-he was everything to me."

Marissa hadn't realised quite when the tears had started but now they had engulfed her; streaming down her face in torrents. This was proving harder than she had ever prepared herself for-opening up and baring her weak, broken heart for the world to see was a brand new experience for her. This wasn't just about sharing this particular event; it was all the unhappiness that had built up in her through the years. Built up behind walls so strong to keep it from all pouring out and drowning her in the misery of the past.

These walls, though, appeared to have finally given in and had caved to let all her sorrows out.

Instinctively, Seth comforted the limp frame that was Marissa, sobbing onto his top; and as he sat there for a bit realised that he could be in for a long night. The strange thing he discovered though was that he didn't mind; he truthfully wanted to help her and get her through all of this pain that had been locked inside her for, he now realised, much too long.

A/Nwell there we go-im sorry it was short but 4 chapters in 2 days pretty impresive non? im just sweetening you up because as sad as it is to say the earliest i will next be able to post is monday evening-but wait i do actually have to write the ending of it so it will proably be, wait for it- tuesday-sorry people!

it may not affect you that deeply but i will ask you to stay with me and dont forget about me coz you dont know how greatful i am that some people actually read this and take time to review it-thanx so much!

oh yeah one last thing, it will get back to actual dialouge soon enough- but they have to tell there little story things as is begining to become apparent! but BARE WITH ME PLEASE lol

Well i guess thats all form me 4 a bit :o( sorry-ill bring you back some of the eiffel tower how about that! anybody? no? allright then...crawls into hole