Title: You Left Me Alone
Author: Wereleopard
Posted:
Rating: PG
Email: PG
Genre: Angst
Summary: Angel until season 4.
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angel verse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor. The song who wants to live forever is owned by Brian May/Queen
Distribution: FSB if anywhere else please just let me know!
Feedback: Yes please!

Note: Yes these are short but it will be two POV and then the main conversation

Angel's POV

Angel paced his room too and fro he looked around wondering if he should leave, the vampire was not sure that his seer had anything good to say and he had no idea what he would do if she said those words again to him, those words that hit his heart, that they were no longer friends. Cordelia was his friend but she was more than that she was his best friend she was his, his thoughts stuttered and stopped and couldn't go past that, all he wanted for now was to be friends and then best friends but after he had received the call from Cordy telling him it was time they talked, he couldn't sit or rest he felt as if everything wanted to break free of his skin, he felt trapped but there was no escape. What was she going to ask? What was he going to tell her? All he could do was wait but his fear dug deep within him and that fear was that she could never forgive him and she would walk out of his life and leave him alone, Cordelia Chase was his humanity could he explain both sides to her? Would she understand? Would she run scared? His sat heavily on his bed, his hands clenched on his knees, what was he going to do if she left him? Tears filled his eyes, his dead heart broke, and the light that brightened his day vanished.

Cordy walked to his bedroom door and opened it as she walked in she saw a lost man, Angel's hands were on his knees and his head looking at the floor.

"Angel?" She whispered afraid to startle him but what scared her most was when he looked up with the lost look in his eyes, the look that his end would be the best. She rushed towards him and took his ice-cold hands in his and stared into his eyes.

"I can't lose you." He whispered huskily. "You are my everything."

She smiled sadly at him. "You will always be in my life but.." she stopped for a moment. "We need to talk before we go anywhere, ok?" He nodded at her.

"I'm sorry Cordy for everything." He said hoping that it would be enough but knowing that she needed more.

"Angel we were best friends and I thought that we could talk about anything but this thing with Darla why…" She didn't know how to continue.

Angel took a deep breath and trying to control and make sense of his thoughts, he just hoped that it would make sense to her. "Darla was who made me, we spent so long together." His mind wandered of in the memory of him and Darla and what they did. "When she came back and the dreams started and every night she was there, it seemed she reached out to me and I thought it was to save me or that is what I wished." He stood up and walked towards the window and Cordy watched his every move. He breathed deeply even though he didn't need to. "I thought if I could save her that I could save myself that it would be my redemption."

Cordy stood and walked over to him and laid a delicate hand on his shoulder. "But why couldn't you come to us, to me?" She asked a slight hitch of anger to her voice.

"I'm not going to use the dreams as an excuse but.." He stuttered for a moment.

Cordy got angry all she wanted was the truth. "DAMN YOU ANGEL." She screamed and snatched her hand from his shoulder and turned away from him. "Weren't we good enough for you to trust, were we really your friends?" Tears fell from her eyes this is what she was really worried about that Angel didn't care about them, that they were just here to help him and not important.

The anger grew in Angel he turned quickly and spun Cordelia around and slammed her against the wall, his face loomed in, they were nose to nose and his voice was low and deep. "Don't ever say that, I trust you all more than anyone and you, you are the most important thing to me and I didn't realise that I.." He stopped again and let her go but he needed to know if she trusted him, truly and deeply. The vampire had to know before he could tell her how he felt, he was worried that she would no longer trust him and that was the last thing he needed.

"Angel." She said softly. "Just let me know how you feel, how you felt?"

His eyes blazed yellow as he glared at her, he stalked forward and Cordy backed away from him until her back hit the wall and he punched a fist into it behind her. His body vibrated with anger. "Because I am a monster, I've seen the way people look at me." He changed his face to the vampire visage. "This is what I am the demon is always there."

Cordy reached out and touched the ridges on his face. "I've always known this about you Angel." The brunette whispered.

He growled again not sure she understood and slammed her against the wall, his fangs showing the blood lust flowing through his body, Angel lowered his head towards her neck and licked it and then brought it too her ear. "Do you understand do you truly trust me?" He asked his voice vibrating through his chest Angel could feel his demon run through his veins, in a way he felt free. The vampire always had to take control of himself, he never let himself go and no one could understand that and no one ever listened to him when he tried to explain.