Author: Sparkle Itamashii

Title: Clandestine Revelations

Warnings: Respect the rating. Please see my profile for details.

Disclaimer: Digimon and its characters, settings, and plot are NOT MINE.

Chapter Six

When he didn't immediately pull away or deck me I drew him a little closer, curling my fingers into his silky hair. His lips were soft against mine, softer than I'd thought they would be, and his hand clenched a little tighter into mine. It was a bit strange at first, but definitely not in a bad way. After only a slight hesitation he returned the pressure, letting his head tilt to one side. Tension was practically tangible between us; I could feel it in the way he held himself, like he hadn't quite decided what he was really going to do.

I don't know what I expected but I'm pretty certain it wasn't anything like what I got. There were no fireworks going off, no instantaneous realizations or new conclusions I could draw. When I kissed Matt I thought for sure I would be able to easily tell if I liked him and more importantly if he liked me. But it wasn't like any of that. If anything I only became more confused at Matt's conflicting actions- responsive but tense, soft but rigid, yes… but no. So which was it? How did he feel? How did I feel?

I pulled away first, not removing my hand from his hair but breathing a little faster from the adrenaline now coursing through my veins. His eyes fluttered open a second after mine and he gave me the most bewildered stare I've ever seen.

Whatever I'd thought I would say after kissing him stuck in my throat the second I caught sight of those eyes.

Very gently he disentangled his hand from mine and reached up to rest his palm on my raised forearm. I let his fingers trail from my elbow to my wrist and down along the back of my hand and fingers as I withdrew. All the while he refused to look away from me, holding me in a trance. He hadn't jumped away or started yelling or hit me- that's generally fair enough grounds for guessing he didn't totally object to what had just happened. He just sat there, staring a little confusedly at me. Expressions I'd never seen him wear flickered over his features but eventually he smiled weakly, nodding in agreement to whatever he was thinking.

Relief flooded through me at the gesture. I smiled wanly, not wanting to break his concentration on whatever he was thinking. Still not sure what to say next I only watched him silently, waiting for some sort of more decisive reaction.

"I think maybe it would be best," He said shakily, startling me as he broke the silence, "if you went home for the night, Taichi…"

"Yama…" Sudden fear clenched tightly in my gut. I'd thought for sure… I mean, he hadn't objected or anything and I took that to mean he was okay with it but what if I'd been wrong? I swallowed thickly, hoping that whatever I'd done I could still salvage the situation. "Are-"

"No." He finally dropped eye contact and took a shuddering breath. "No, I'm not okay. You need to leave."

"What?! You're crazy if you think I'm going to leave things like this, Yamato." I saw him twitch a minute amount when I used his full name. We both knew I almost never did that any more. I reached forward to touch his hand, but he snatched it away and gave me a sharp look. My chest constricted and I had to force myself to take a deep breath before I could continue. The last thing I needed right now was to screw this up. "I think we have some things to sort out and I don't think me leaving is going to do either of us any good."

"Well I think it would." He replied hotly, not letting me get any closer. "I'm not sure what just happened, Tai, but I… I don't think it was supposed to. I think we're both confused right now and I think you should go."

"Gee, do you think anything else I should know about?" I'd said the words before I could stop myself- it was just such a deeply ingrained habit to provoke him that I did it automatically. I felt like turning and running but I had to hold my ground. "I'm not leaving."

He gave me a nasty glare for a second before rocking swiftly to his feet. I panicked. I didn't know what I was going to do but I knew I couldn't let him walk away now. My hand shot out almost of its own volition and latched onto his wrist. I pulled back sharply enough to land him sitting right back next to me. He wrenched his arm away from me with an indignant noise, shoving me harshly backwards.

"Get out of my house." He snapped, clambering awkwardly back to his feet. "I don't want to deal with this right now."

I leapt up to follow him, reactionary anger sparking. "You don't want to deal with this or you don't want to deal with me?"

He whirled around to face me, glaring so fiercely I almost took a step backward. "I don't want to deal with either!" He snarled. "So just go home!"

"Is that how you deal with everything, Yamato?" I bit viciously, "By running away like a coward because you don't think you can handle it?"

I don't really recall him taking a swing at me- all I remember was landing flat on my back with a wildly painful sensation blossoming around my left eye. I covered it with one hand as I sat, pressing gingerly and glaring furiously at him. I pulled one leg up, still leaning back on my free arm. Oddly I felt a lot calmer than I had a second ago. This was more like it. Fighting I knew how to handle, knew what to do. Fighting with Matt was familiar.

"Don't let me ever hear you say anything like that again, Taichi." As I looked at him I realized how much he had calmed down as well. Apparently I wasn't the only one the release of tension had affected. "Get out."

"Fine." I spat, clambering gingerly to my feet once more. "But my leaving isn't going to solve anything and you know it."

He followed me irately to the front door, maintaining a 'safe' distance- though whether he was wary of me or himself I couldn't tell. "It'll solve you being here." He said when I opened the door.

I closed my eyes and paused with the door wide open- he could be so completely insufferable sometimes. "Whatever. When you're done being scared, let me know."

Behind me I knew he was bristling, just like he always did when I'd said something he wanted to react to but knew doing so would only prove my point. I slipped out and the door slammed angrily at my heels. Not able to move any farther, I dropped to the ground and curled where I sat as all the energy and adrenaline left in a rush. I couldn't stop myself from trembling almost violently as I leaned back against the closed door.

Somehow I didn't think that could have possibly gone worse…

/End Chapter Six, Clandestine Revelations/