Author: Sparkle Itamashii

Title: Clandestine Revelations

Warnings: Respect the rating. Please see my profile for details.

Disclaimer: Digimon and its characters, settings, and plot are NOT MINE.

Chapter Seven

I'd barely shut the door when my legs gave out and I sank shakily to my knees, trying to breathe. The adrenaline rush was definitely wearing off and I couldn't find the strength to move from where I was so I just rolled gently to lean back against the door. I curled up, burying my face in my arms and trying to straighten out my thoughts.

What had just happened?

I'd just kissed Tai…

Well, he'd just kissed me.

What does it matter; I kissed him back! I wrapped my arms tighter around my knees, scrunching my eyes shut against the memory. At the first touch of his lips I thought for sure I would push him away or make some sort of protest but I didn't have the strength of will. He had given me the same feeling I'd been left with after we'd finally made it back from the digital world. It just felt so… comfortable. So safe.

It felt like coming home.

That's what frightened me most.

There are always two sides to every coin… Coming home from the digital world meant that we had to leave behind everything there. If I'd reacted to Taichi, if I'd let myself act without thinking like I'd very much wanted to do, would that mean I had to leave behind what we had before? Would I lose my best friend? The prospect of losing him to anything at all had settled like a rock in my gut the second I'd thought of it.

That's why he had to leave.

He had to leave before either of us did anything out of haste or confusion. For the moment I didn't trust myself to breathe, much less think and act rationally. It wasn't that I wanted him to leave I just… couldn't have him stay. There was no way I could handle the situation responsibly and I wasn't about to do anything I would regret later.

There was a quiet thump against the door, right behind me. He hadn't left. I opened my eyes, looking to the ceiling as I tried to decide if I should say something or get up and walk away.

I knew what I should have done, but I couldn't bring myself to go.

"Matt?" He called tremulously, voice thickly muffled by the door. "I know you're there."

Go away, Tai. Please just leave…

"Come on, just open the door."

I curled tighter upon myself and half-heartedly covered my ears. I couldn't stop trembling. If I didn't say anything he'd have to go away sometime.

"Please, Yama…" I wished I could stop myself from listening. "Can I at least get some ice before I go? You hit me pretty hard…"

My breath caught as I recalled decking him in the face. I hadn't pulled the blow at all and he hadn't even tried to move out of the way. I must have really hurt him…

"I promise I won't stay if you don't want me to. You don't even have to let me in if you get a bag of ice and just pass it. Plus you've still got my shoes and my keys so it's not like I'd make it very far and I'd have to knock to get into my own house. My mom will ask questions when I come back without them but I'll go home if-"

"Shut up." I called, loud enough that I knew he would hear me. I'd forgotten how well he could ramble indefinitely about nothing. "Don't you ever stop talking?"

"No." His attempt to mask the injured note in his voice failed miserably. "Are you going to let me in or should I start walking?"

I let my head fall back against the door, the muffled noise mirroring the thump I'd heard a minute ago. Tai must have been sitting against the door as well. I smiled ruefully- we were so hazardously different from each other but sometimes…

"I don't care." I said tiredly, feeling drained as I rolled to my left and clambered to my feet. "Just stop causing a spectacle in the hall. The neighbors will tell my dad I had some weird kid over again."

Clothing shifted against wood as he got up and a second later the knob clicked open. I looked over my shoulder and saw Tai peeking around the edge of the door, just above where his fingers grasped the edge. I winced internally when I saw the red mark all around his left eye. Yeah, it was definitely going to leave a bruise…

"Are you coming in or are you gonna stand there gawking?" I asked flatly, turning away from him and heading toward the kitchen.

"Is it safe for me to come in or are you gonna clock me again?"

Rolling my eyes I ignored him. Behind me the door opened and shut again and I heard Tai's quiet footsteps as he followed me. It had been ages since I'd actually hit Tai because I meant it. I felt kind of guilty as I opened the freezer and grabbed an ice pack from the door. I hadn't meant to hit him so hard.

Tai had stopped in the kitchen's entrance, arm folded across his chest and watching me cautiously as he leaned on the doorframe. I raised an eyebrow, switching the ice pack from one hand to the other to avoid letting it freeze my hands. "Well?" I said expectantly. "Come here."

Looking me up and down once, he shoved lightly away from the wall and very warily moved into the room. I hated that injured look but I ignored it, trying not to think about anything but the present moment. When he got close enough I leaned forward and grabbed his arm even as he made an attempt to shy away again. I pulled him over to me and as gently as I could I laid the ice pack against his eye. He hissed, hand flying to cover mine in an effort to pry at the pack but I held it there long enough for the initial shock to pass. My touch softened when his did and I let him take control.

He gave me a skeptical look as I removed my hands, as though he wasn't sure what to do now. I ran my gaze over him, beginning to regret my initial reaction to this whole situation. I wasn't any closer to solving the dilemma, but I knew I had to do something before it was too late to salvage a friendship.

/End Chapter Seven, Clandestine Revelations/