Author: Sparkle Itamashii

Title: Clandestine Revelations

Warnings: Respect the rating. Please see my profile for details.

Disclaimer: Digimon and its characters, settings, and plot are NOT MINE.

Chapter Eight

I hadn't expected him to actually let me back inside his apartment. Sure, I'd wanted ice and yeah, my shoes and keys were inside but at the most I expected them to be handed to me. Or possibly thrown at me, I wasn't sure. But there I was, standing back in Matt's kitchen as he gently pressed a freezing cold ice pack to my eye. I was glad he'd stopped me from tearing it off again because I wouldn't have let it rest there properly on my own. He withdrew as soon as I stopped fighting him and I gave him a confused look. In the past ten minutes his emotions had been all over the place so I had no clue what he was going to do next.

"I… I'm sorry I hit you." He said quietly, dropping his gaze to the floor.

"It's not a big deal. It's not like we haven't fought before." I didn't move from where I stood because I didn't want to set him off again. "We used to all the time in the Digiworld." Actually, I'm pretty sure we fought no matter where we were but I wasn't going to say that aloud.

He looked like he wanted to shake me until my teeth rattled. "Fighting when we were eleven-year-old kids and fighting now is a lot different, Tai."

"I'm just saying it's not a big deal." I defended, wondering why he always got so worked up over little things. Yeah, okay, I'd have a black eye for a while… so what? Was he thinking at all about what happened before he'd hit me?

"It is a big deal!" He snapped, "I shouldn't have reacted like that!"

"Yeah, well, it's not like we can take back anything that's already in the past anyway, right?" I pressed the ice pack a little more tightly to my eye, trying not to let myself get aggravated enough to instigate another fight. "So why are you worrying about it? You hit me, I'm fine. Get over it."

His hand twitched, visible proof that he was holding back from grabbing me by my shirt like he always used to do. "I'm not…" He sighed, tilting his head back to look up in exasperation and exposing his throat in the process. "That's not the point."

Fortunately despite that I could not stop staring I had not lost speech capabilities. "What is the point?"

He shifted again, looking me in the eye and suddenly I found myself understanding a little more. Somehow he'd been hurt and didn't know what to do about it. Whether or not he'd hit me wasn't the issue- we both knew I'd lashed out and he'd only returned the gesture. I'd forgotten that with Yamato I had to look at things with a slightly different perspective. He always said what he meant and meant what he said but there were silent justifications and reasoning that altered how he meant it.

When he'd said 'I'm sorry I hit you' what he'd really said was 'I didn't mean to hurt you.'

"Maybe you should go home, Taichi." He'd slipped into the use of my full name again. I hated when he did that.

"What are you so afraid of, Matt?" I stressed his nickname.

"I'm not afraid." His words were clipped, on the edge of being angry. "You needed ice, you got some. Now you can go."

I peeled the ice pack off of my eye and set it gently on the table next to me. He gave me a confused look, making as if to step backward when I moved but I was faster. Snatching his wrist I drew him close, bringing my hands up around his neck as I pulled him into an embrace. He stiffened but I didn't let go and after a moment I could feel him hesitantly relaxing, hands belatedly returning the gesture.

"I don't want to go," I whispered next to his ear, hearing his breath catch next to mine, "And I don't think you want me to go, either. But… I understand."

I swallowed, pulling back and letting my wrists rest on either side of his neck. Confusion clouded his eyes when he met my gaze. As best as I was able I ignored it, picking up the ice pack and giving him one silent, lingering look before stepping away and turning from the kitchen. He didn't follow me as I grabbed my shoes and keys. I paused for a few seconds by the door, to see if he would say anything, but when he failed to even emerge from the kitchen I let myself out and gently closed the door.

It was a long trip home.

/End Chapter Eight, Clandestine Revelations/