Author: Sparkle Itamashii

Title: Clandestine Revelations

Warnings: Respect the "R" rating. I hate the new rating system so I am sticking with the old one. Please see my profile for details.

Disclaimer: Digimon and its characters, plot, and settings are NOT MINE.

Chapter Sixteen

I felt like a real idiot. I mean, I guess I had just assumed that Matt either didn't know what he wanted or did know what he wanted and it wasn't anything to do with me. He was never very good at making up his mind. Well, that's not entirely true… He was very good at making up his mind it just never stayed made up long enough. I'd like to think that I could predict how he was going to act but I just couldn't.

I should have kept to myself after what happened in the bathroom. I'd promised myself that I would let him make up his mind - that I would make him make up his mind - before I acted. Before I reacted. But he just kept throwing curveballs.

Scrubbing at the plate he'd left in the sink, I listened to the strands of guitar music coming from his room. I smiled, recognizing it as one of his favorites. Of course, it was also the one he played when he was upset over something. He said that he knew it so well that he could play it with his eyes closed and just let the music take him.

It was very cute, really.

I set the plate on the counter and tried to clean up the rest of the kitchen. I don't have a lot of patience for doing that sort of thing but it wasn't like there was anything else to do. If I went to Matt's room he'd probably kick me out if he noticed me at all.

Just as I finished putting away the last of the food, I heard the music trail to a stop and silence descended. I stood perfectly still, listening for any sign that my best friend would join me again. The door to his room creaked and soft footsteps padded down the hall. I remained where I was until he poked his head into the kitchen.

"Would you like to take a shower?"

Shower, great. Fantastic. "Sure." Of course I didn't really want to shower at all but somehow he didn't look like he was going to give me a choice. I would be clean or I would be leaving.

"You know where everything is, I think. And-"

"No touching your shampoo," I finished for him, smiling. "I know."

He glared at me for a moment, though I knew he wasn't really angry. "Right." He tossed a towel at my face and disappeared.

I dried my hands and slung the towel around my neck as I headed down the hall to the bathroom. In his room I could hear him begin again with his guitar, picking at notes in what sounded like no particular order. Sighing, I pushed open the bathroom door and closed it tightly behind me.

He was so confusing sometimes. He could act one way for a while and you'd think you had a grip on how he was going to be but in the next instant he was someone else and you had no idea where you stood with him. There had to be some kind of medication for that kind of behavior. But I knew it was just his personality shining through again. He put up this great front for people but every so often his real self would show through the cracks. Sometimes I thought he did it on purpose for me; let me see the real him. I'd never seen him really break around anyone else… but then, I was never not there to observe so I couldn't say for sure.

Yamato Ishida; the human enigma.

Before peeling off my shirt, I set the towel on the sink's counter and started the water running. For a moment I pondered using his shampoo just because he always told me not to, but I decided it wouldn't help anything to get him angry. I knew a confused and angry Matt tended to be painful. Very painful.

I'd no sooner slipped into the shower when the door to the bathroom opened. A little shocked, I poked my head out around the curtain and caught Matt as he gave me a startled look. It almost made me think that he didn't have any better idea what he was doing there than I did. I spent a second looking him over before he seemed to get a grip and took a seat on the edge of the counter. Neither of us said a word and I closed the curtain to continue taking my shower. If he had something to say, he'd say it on his own time. I wasn't about to waste all the hot water waiting.

"You're not angry with me, are you?" He asked after a moment or two, just when I'd begun to suspect that he'd only come for the company.

I leaned my head back into the spray, running fingers along my slicked back hair and rinsing out the shampoo. Angry? How could I be- he was only being himself after all. I certainly didn't expect him to act any differently. "No," I replied, just loud enough to be heard over the water. "I can't be mad at you just because you can't make up your mind."

"I can make up mind," he said hotly.

"Then do it already because you're driving me crazy."

"Just like that you want me to decide? It sounds like you already have."

Ouch, yeah… In a way he was absolutely right. I had made up my mind and I wanted to give it a try. I think I owed our friendship that much at least. Matt and I were so close already, practically the same person sometimes… but how close was too close? Where did friendship become something more? There must be a point, a line to cross. But how did I define that line? Was I too late to keep from crossing it?

Did I want to keep from crossing it?

"Yeah," I agreed at last. "I did, sort of."

The water was beginning to cool off but I couldn't bring myself to leave. I wanted to hear an answer, at least one, before I got out. I deserved at least one response from him.

"And?" he asked at last, almost too quietly for me to hear.

"And… I think Kari was right." There. At least my side was out in the open now. "I think there's something we never saw because we weren't looking. If there weren't…" I trailed off, looking for a way to phrase what I really wanted to say. "If there weren't then would there even be a debate? Would there be any question?"

The door to the bathroom clicked shut and I knew I was alone again.

/End Chapter Sixteen, Clandestine Revelations/

Notes:
Yes, I know they don't generally do the whole 'shower' thing (although they do exist) in Japan and no, I don't care so don't bother telling me. For this story, Yamato's place will have a shower and that is how it will be.