Dear fans, sorry this took two weeks to come out. I was grounded and had finals :-P. Here's Ch 5 and as forgiveness for my lateness, this chapter is xtra long and I will be starting a new story next week based on the song 'Down Poison' by 3 Doors Down. Enjoy! (sorry again)
I own a little clown car,
I own 6 evil henchmen,
I own an old plate of Mac n' Cheese,
Yet I don't own the X-Men.
(but I wouldn't mind trading in that plate of Mac n' Cheese. Yuck)
Ch. 5 of "the seatbelt sign should be on at all times" called "S.O.S. –Save Our Sanity"
"I spy with my little eye something blue and furry…"
"It's me" said Beast with a flat tone.
"OK" said Rachel a little disheartened. Then she perked up and tried again.
"I spy with my little eye something white and fluffy…"
"A cloud" Emma said in the same flat tone of her fiancé.
She prodded her head on her hands, a pout painted across her face.
"You guys really take the fun out of this game, you know that?"
"There was fun there to begin with?" Betsy asked.
"Maybe when I was five," said Logan.
"You remember when you were five?" asked Hank.
"You don't?" asked Emma.
"Are we playing 20 Questions?" asked Rachel slightly bouncing up and down. The lack of coffee had reduced her personality to that of a seven year old.
In fact, the lack of coffee was having dire effects on almost everybody. Besides Rachel's childhood persona, Emma was showing all the emotions of a pencil sharpener, betsy got annoyed at the slightest thing, Jean was on a hair-pin trigger (she could go from normal to pissed-as-hellfire in less than 2 seconds), and poor Scott, who was suffering the most, had become extremely obsessive compulsive.
Logan and Hank were the only two that were unaffected by the lack of coffee. Logan didn't mind the cup of coffee every morning but his healing factor prevented him from developing a tolerance. Hank, just by pure luck, hadn't succumbed to the insanity yet.
Logan sat in the circle of sitting X-Men all arguing over Rachel's ideas of entertainment.
"Oh, I know! We can play Random Things!"
All the other older X-Men gave her a puzzled look.
"You're gonna have to fill in the generation gap, sweetheart" Scott commented.
Scott, having given into the OCD, looked very weird. He had ripped and torn at his uniform so that it was symmetrical on both sides. His hair was combed back and he had a pack of wipes in his belt. He'd even asked Rachel if he could slash her other cheek so that her face didn't look so "one-sided". He was currently adjusting Jean's necklace which he found 'off-center'.
Jean pulled away from his hands.
"DON"T TOUCH ME!" she snapped shoving him away with TK. She was using her hands to hold up Jessica who was breast feeding.
"Random Things," Rachel began explaining in the imitation of a college professor, "is an ancient game that used to be played by the gods and the richest of kings."
Hank looked perplexed.
"Are you sure? I've never heard of it before."
"Well, it's not really that fascinating," Rachel admitted. "It's a game the narrator made up in seventh grade"
Narrator? (cough, cough) Who is this "narrator" of which you speak?
(cricket chirps)
On with the story…
"Right. So anyway what you do is you go around in a circle and say something completely random within five seconds. It has to have nothing to do with what the person before you said or what you said last turn."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard" Emma commented.
"Yeah, well you're the stupidestest thing I've ever heard" Rachel shot back. Then she followed up with a raspberry.
"Yeah? Well, you're ugly"
Rachel was very hurt. Her lower lip trembled and a tear slipped down her check. Then she sucked it up and proceeded to tell on Emma.
"Daddy, Emma said I was ugly" she said with a sniff.
"You're not ugly, honey" Scott said offhandedly. He was trying to clean off a scratch on the Jet.
Logan, who was getting quite bored, popped his claws. Then he sheathed them. Then he popped them so that it sounded like the tick-tock of a clock.
Sninkt. Snakt. Snikt. Snakt. Sninkt. Snakt. Snikt. Snakt. Sninkt. Snakt. Snikt. Snakt.
He tried to pop again but was stopped by a telekinetic hand on his wrist.
He looked up to meet Betsy's pissed face.
"Knock. It. Off."
He smirked and popped his claws again with another Snikt.
Psylocke buried her face in her hands, a gesture that clearly said I can't take it anymore.
She then threw her head and arms back and proceeded to shout to the heavens,
"WHY? NINE BLOODY DAYS OF THIS! I BEG OF YOU, WHY?"
"Apparently, this is what God does when the cable's out," Hank said, running a paw through his hair, "he torments us"
"Shouldn't somebody be looking for us? I mean, we have been missing for nine days already" Emma said, eager to change the subject.
"They have no excuse to look," Scott stated simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He made the gesture to try and fix Jean's necklace again but stopped abruptly when she shot him a 'Do it and the professor will never find your remains' look.
Rachel looked up from where she had been softly crying. "What do you mean?"
"What I mean," he said as he turned his attention to a sleeping Emily's ragged blanket, "is that they aren't looking for us because we weren't supposed to be done with that mission so fast. We aren't due home for another two weeks."
He looked up from fixing Emily's blanket to see six glaring set of eyes.
"Do you mean to say, that we could be stuck out here for another two weeks, or longer, before they send out a search team?" Emma asked in a not-so-controlled rage.
"Well, not necessarily. I've been sending up an optic flare every day."
"Hasn't anyone tried telepathy?" Logan asked.
"THAT'S THE FIRST THING WE TRIED!" Jean barked at him.
"And how did that go?"
Jean was about to respond with 'HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK IT WENT?' when Betsy cut in.
"When Jean blew the electronics on our jet, she also blew our mini-Cerebra. Apparently when the electronics touched water, it fried it even worse so it's now having the reverse effect on us, diminishing our telepathy instead of amplifying it."
Before anyone could say anything else, Jessica began to cry.
Jean's mood temporarily swung back to normal as she whispered to try and quiet the baby.
"There, there. Mommy's here."
She kissed Jessica's forehead and then gave the baby to Logan (quite forcefully, I might add) then stood up and headed towards the door to the inside of the X-Jet.
"I'm going to go get her another blanket for Jessie."
She gave them a death glare.
"You'd better not need me"
When she disappeared, Emily took the hint from Jessica and began to cry as well.
"Ah, flamin' Phoenix" Rachel swore.
Logan stood up and tossed the baby into the air.
Jessica smiled, still incapable of giggling or laughing.
He smiled back.
"Are you going to be a destructor of worlds just like your mom?" Logan cooed.
"Yes you are! Yes you are! Yes you-"
Jean smacked him upside the head.
"DON'T ENCOURAGE HER!"
She took the baby from Logan's arms so he could rub his head in pain.
Psylocke rolled her eyes and Rachel giggled.
Jean turned away from them to wrap up Jessica. Then she whispered so only Jessica could hear, "You're not going to be a destructor of worlds like me or Rachel, are you?" Then she added in a small prayer, "Please don't let her be like me"
Emma took her baby from Hank and began to try to calm her as well.
Scott was fidgeting with something on his shirt. He looked back at his wife who had rejoined the group, still looking at her necklace. "Honey, please just let me…"
"NO!" she barked. Then she added in a desperate mutter, "Someone make him stop!"
"What do you want us to do?" Emma said coldly. "He's YOUR husband."
"No thanks to you" she said under her breath. Unfortunately, Emma heard.
"Excuse me?" she said, handing a now calm Emily to Hank. "What did you say? Are you insinuating something?"
"You're damn right I'm insinuating something" Jean handed Jessica to Scott and began walking toward Emma.
"Um, girls…?" Logan began but it was useless. They were too far gone in their insanity.
"I'm insinuating that despite the fact that Scott is married, to me, you had a stupid crush on him and tried to break us up by sleeping with him."
"I'll have you know, Ms. Goddess, that your husband didn't really put up much of a fight. And you interrupted us so we didn't get to-"
Emma never finished. She couldn't thanks to the fact that Jean had delivered a beautiful right hook to Emma's nose that knocked the holy Shi'ar out of her.
Emma tumbled backwards and her head fell into the water, her broken, bloodied nose stinging from the salt water. Despite her condition, her anger got the better of her. She jumped to her feet and swung wildly but found herself restrained by her fiancé. Hank and Betsy were keeping her arms behind her back while Scott and Rachel were tending to Jean, also subduing her while Logan stood in the middle holding both babies.
"THAT'S MRS. GODDESS TO YOU!" Jean shouted at Emma.
"ENOUGH!" Logan yelled causing Jean and Emma to stop struggling and the others to stare at him disbelievingly.
"We have bigger problems than an insane cat-fight"
"Bigger like what?" Betsy inquired, not letting go of Emma for fear of her going for Jean again.
Logan jerked his head in the direction of the water. A huge pool of Emma's blood was in the water.
"Bigger like that," Logan pointed out as his keen vision picked up a couple of large fins on the horizon.
Just so you know Random Things is in fact a real game. To go online and play it with other people, click here .
A random fact is that I customize all my swear words to accommodate X-Men. 'Flaming Phoenix' and 'Holy Shi'ar' are mine.
Ch. 6 coming right at you in a few.